The Regret (Heartache #2)

by Green, Vicki

  I look down at Jolie, still sleeping. She must be exhausted from all the worrying. I hate that I put her through that. I brush her hair back from her face then gently pick up her arm and carefully lay it across my stomach above my wound and hold it. Closing my eyes, I finally feel like I can get some rest.

  “Mmmm.”

  “Good morning, sleepyhead,” I whisper.

  I stroke her cheek with my finger, loving how she looks in the morning. Her eyes half open, the sleepy look in them. I know I always think it but she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She smiles, lighting up the entire room. As she turns over, she raises her arms above her head and stretches, something I find I love watching. I wince with her movements. She stops. A look of alarm overtakes her sweet face. “Oh, my God! I’m sorry.” Slowly she lowers her arms and moves her legs off the bed, intending to get up. I wrap my arm around her waist, stopping her.

  “Oh, no you don’t.” She settles into me, careful of my wound. “You’re the best medicine I can get. You’re not going anywhere.” Her smile is back. She lifts her arm and rests it high above my injury and starts rubbing circles on my chest. I watch her swallow hard, her eyes downward, watching her movements. “Spit it out, Jolie.” I give her a smile as her eyes raise up to meet mine.

  “You need rest,” she whispers. She’s so fucking cute.

  I tilt my head and raise an eyebrow. “It’s okay. I think I have plenty of time to rest. Spill it.” I give her a wink and watch her relax.

  “I was just wondering what all happened.” She looks down and starts watching her finger again. “You know, how it all played out and stuff.” And stuff. Adorable.

  “Well….” I rest my head back on the pillow and tighten my arm around her. “One of the kids….” I look down at her, watching me intently. “Tommy. He’s about five, I think. He came out of the house before everything happened. He was injured.” Her brows raise, tenderness fills her eyes. “I followed him and figured out he was going to the adobe building.”

  She raises up, her eyes wide. “No!”

  “Yes!” I smile. “We talked and I took him back to Barrett so he could be safe with the undercover woman, Linda, and so she could tend to him. Then we went after his sister.”

  “There were two kids?” I nod. “I had no idea.”

  “I think she’s maybe three?” She covers her gasp with her hand. “Anyway, when we went in to get her and that’s when all hell broke loose. Gunshots, the lights went off, and in the end, well, you know what happened.” Then she does something I’ve been waiting for since I first left her on our driveway. She leans up, carefully, and kisses me. I slide my hand from around her waist, up her back, and cup the back of her neck, pulling ever so slightly, making her kiss me harder. She’s afraid she’ll hurt you. She’s gonna learn, I’m tougher than that. She moves back but an inch. I can feel the warmth of her breath on my face. Heaven.

  “What will happen to the kids?”

  The question I’ve been asking myself all night while I held her in my arms. “I’m not sure. They’re probably with child services right now. I would imagine they would place them with new foster parents at some point.”

  She bolts up into a sitting position, and I grimace, reaching down and covering my wound. “Oh, sorry!” She sits back on her legs and gives me a sad look. “I want to talk to the kids. I’ve been there, felt what they’ve been feeling. Well, at least Tommy. I’m sure the little one is too young, but she’ll be scarred by it just the same. I’m sure.” The best idea hits me, but I’m not sure how she’ll feel about it. Better give it a little time.

  “Her name is Sara. I didn’t get to see her. I was kinda busy.” Tears well up in her eyes. I hate that. I put my arm around her waist, and she settles back down beside me again. “I’ll talk to Blake.” Her eyes snap to mine. “He leads our group. I’ll ask him if you can talk to them.” That beautiful smile appears and in my heart, all the happiness that I probably don’t deserve. “Now. About that puppy.” She laughs, and it’s music to my ears.

  “What puppy?’

  We both look over and see Barrett in a wheelchair coming our way with a nurse pushing it. Hailey walks in behind them, a big smile on her face. Weird for her. “Barrett!” Jolie climbs off the bed, and I wince, but I don’t think she sees me. Thank God! I don’t want her to worry about anything ever again unless it’s something like what to have for dinner. A pang of jealousy hits me when I see her throw her arms around Barrett and kisses his cheek. What the hell?

  “Hey! Hey!” I yell but as soon as Jolie turns around, and I see the blush covering Barrett’s face. I let out a laugh. He looks over at me and cocks his head.

  “Your woman giving me a small peck on my cheek is the least you could allow after shooting me.” He raises his eyebrows and gives me a smirk that quickly changes into a smile.

  “Am I ever gonna live that down?” I smirk back at him.

  “Doubtful.” He smiles.

  “So what was this about a puppy?” Hailey asks. Jolie turns and looks at me, and we burst out laughing. I really need to stop laughing because it hurts so badly, but I can’t seem to stop. “Why are you laughing? Is there a puppy or not?” She crosses her arms over her chest, and we both laugh harder. “I think something more than gunshot wounds happened to you.” She huffs. Jolie walks over to her and puts her arm around her shoulders as Hailey pouts.

  “It was kind of an unspoken deal I made with Tanner if he came back to me.” Hailey’s brows raise as she cocks her hip.

  “Well, that was a stupid deal. Now you have to get a puppy.”

  I can tell Jolie’s trying not to laugh when she presses her lips together. Finally, she takes in a deep breath and smiles. “It’s okay, Hailey. I don’t mind getting a puppy.”

  Hailey looks at her nails and sighs. “It’s your furniture.”

  I look over at Barrett whose head is down, but his shoulders are shaking with his laughter.

  “Breakfast. Whoa!”

  We all turn and look at Travis, walking in carrying a tray. He stops when he sees everyone in the room then walks over and sets the tray down on the long table, talking while he pushes it over to me so I can reach it. “Now. I’ve broken so many rules already.” He looks at Barrett. “Are you the other one that was hurt?” Barrett nods. Travis looks at Hailey. “And who is this?”

  Jolie puts her arm back around Hailey and smiles. “This is my best friend.” Hailey’s eyes snap to Jolie and soon she relaxes, a smile appearing.

  “Well, okay. You gonna have any more unexpected visitors ‘cos really, you’re only supposed to have two people in your room at a time. This is ICU, you know?” he says animatedly, waving his arms.

  I let out a laugh, which really isn’t helping the pain in my stomach. “I think this will most likely be it.” Just as I finish that statement, Jase and Alena walk in. Well, Jase walks in and Alena runs, holding onto the bottom of her large stomach.

  “Oh, my God! Are you okay?”

  She heads straight for me. I’d duck but I’m pretty much immobile right now. She throws her arms around me, and I swear I’m gonna lose a stitch pretty soon. Finally, she pulls back and just stares at me. Awkward doesn’t describe what I’m feeling right now especially because I really need to go to the bathroom.

  “Alena, darling. Let him get some rest.” Jase’s voice of reason makes me look up as Alena releases me. “Hey, man. You doing okay?” I watch him take Alena’s hand and guide her to the chair, helping her to sit down. Such love in his eyes for her. Shit! I’m getting all sappy. Must be the drugs.

  “I’m actually doing good. A little sore. I got me some good drugs and an even better woman.” I wink at Jolie, and she gives me a huge smile in return.

  “Okay! Okay!” We all look at Travis, who’s getting a little anxious. “Now, two of you need to go and come back later.
Help me out here. I don’t want to lose my job.” He winks at me, and I raise my chin up in acknowledgement.

  “It’s okay. I’ll take superhero back to his room, and I’ll come back later. Do you want me to bring you guys up some clothes or anything from home?” She looks at Barrett and then at me.

  “If you could bring up a change of clothes for Tanner and me and oh! My makeup bag? And my toothbrush and….”

  Hailey holds up her hand stopping Jolie. “I got it. I know what to bring. C’mon Prince Charming. Let’s get you back to your room.” I have a hard time not laughing as I watch Hailey walk over, grab the handles of Barrett’s wheelchair and practically spin him around then starts pushing him out the door. He turns and looks at me over his shoulder and shrugs then turns back. “No! I’m not gonna give you a sponge bath.” That was it. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I burst out laughing and hold onto my waist. Fuck that hurt!

  “Thank God!” Travis says. He starts to leave but stops and looks at Jase. “Twenty minutes. Not a second more.” Jase salutes him with a smile.

  There’s so much laughter in this room. Friends. The love of my life. I’m the luckiest guy in the world. Visions of our house, a puppy playing in the backyard, and a cry from….

  “Okay. So really. How are you feeling?” I focus back to the present and look at Jase.

  “I’m okay. Tired. Sore. I’m lucky to be alive. Guess I have Barrett to thank for that.” Jolie walks over and sits down beside me, her legs hanging over the side. We both look at Alena when she speaks.

  “Hey, Jolie. How about we go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat? Let the guys have a few minutes.” She winks at Jolie and rubs her hand across her protruding stomach. “God knows I haven’t eaten in the last half an hour.” She laughs.

  Jolie turns her head my way and I give her a wink. “Go, get something to eat and drink. Spend a little time with your friend. I’ll be fine.” The worry look in her eyes dissipates but only a little. She nods and jumps off the bed. Jase and I watch them walk out together. I look at Jase. “So, what’s up?” I figure there’s a reason he wanted to have some alone time.

  He turns and clasps his hands together and looks at me. “Nothing, really. Just wanted to let you know to take your time, get healed. Jolie can take off as much time as she needs as well. I know she won’t want to leave your side for a while.”

  “That’s really nice of you, Jase. I’m hoping I won’t be gone too long. I can’t stand laying around with idle time. Makes me stir crazy.” He nods. Silence. He clears his throat. “Go ahead, Jase. Tell me what you really want to say.” I give him a smile for encouragement.

  “I just….” He leans his arms down on his legs and clears this throat again. “I just wanted you to know that when Hailey called me – told me what was going on. I was really worried about you. I used to have a lot of friends in high school but once out of there and everything I went through, I really don’t have many friends I’d consider close.” He looks down at his hands then back up at me. “Well, I …. I just wanted you to know that I consider you my best friend. That’s all.” Damn! He’s really choking me up here. My eyes well up with tears and I clear my throat.

  “Wow, man. I don’t really have any friends, other than the guys on my team and truthfully, it’s mainly business. I – uh….” I pretend to cough when really I’m having a hard time talking. Finally, I put on a smile, hoping the tears in my eyes don’t fall. “I consider you my best friend too, Jase. Really. I’m touched.”

  We have a nice talk after that, luckily those stupid tears didn’t fall. That would totally ruin my rep. The girls came back into the room, shortly after, laughing. Jolie walks straight over to me, like she hadn’t seen me in a long time, and kissed me hard.

  “Oh! I almost forgot!”

  Jolie climbs in the bed as Alena stands behind Jase, her hands on his shoulders. “We found out the sex of our baby and wanted you two to be the first to know.” She looks down at Jase as he looks up, giving her a smile. She looks at us, and I don’t think her smile could be any bigger, the glow on her face any warmer. “We’re having a girl!” Jolie jumps off the bed, and I grab my stomach, wincing but laughing, as she runs over and hugs Alena. I watch them hug and laugh then Alena looks at Jolie then at me. “Her name is Eva Liv. Eva is the Hebrew name for life and Liv is short for Olivia.”

  “Oh, my God! I’m so excited and happy for you and Jase,” Jolie says and hugs Alena again. I watch her walk over and give Jase a kiss on his cheek and that damn pang of jealousy hits me again. Psh, I have nothing to be jealous of.

  My phone rings as Jase and Alena say their goodbyes. Alena gives me a hug and Jase shakes my hand, and I congratulate them both. Once gone, Jolie tells me she’s going to go take a shower, something I wish I could do, and kisses me. She closes the door to the bathroom, and I answer my call.

  “Blake,” I answer.

  “Tanner! How are you?” Blake’s been a good friend and a great team leader.

  “I’m good, just pretty sore.”

  “Good. Good. Look, just wanted to see how you are and give you an update. The foster mom has confessed to everything so it looks like we may not need Jolie’s testimony but if she wanted to write out a statement that might help put the foster mom away longer.” I nod as if he can see me. “Update on the kids. They seem to be doing okay. The little girl is pretty young to really understand anything that’s happening but the boy has been talking to a counselor here.”

  “That’s great news. Uh, Jolie kinda wanted to talk to Tommy. She pretty much knows what he’s feeling since she went through a lot of it herself. Think that would be okay?”

  He’s quiet for a few minutes. “I’ll see if I can clear it and let you know. Meanwhile, you rest up and get well.”

  I end the call and rest my head back on the pillow. That idea I had, I’m not sure it’s something that Jolie will consider. We’re young, have our whole lives ahead of us. Time. We have time and we can do anything as long as we’re together. But, I wonder if….

  Two days later...

  Jolie’s been gone way too long. I know she’s strong and independent, but still I can’t help but worry. She’s my world. Just as I’m about to call her, she walks into my room. My much bigger room on a different floor. They let me out of ICU this morning, thank God, and put me in this room. I can even walk to the bathroom now, with help, and take a shower. That was much needed.

  “Hey! You’re back,” I say as nonchalantly as I can. She walks over to me and climbs on the bed, kissing me, hard. “Mmmm. You can leave and come back as long as you keep doing that when you return,” I say against her lips. She laughs then sits down and takes my hand in hers. “How’d it go?” She’d left me, promising to come back quickly, over two hours ago. She was going to the police station to write out her statement against the foster mom and Blake had cleared her to visit the kids over at Child Services, which was only a block from the station. I was a little concerned when she left. She acted pretty nervous, mainly about writing out the statement. I know she was excited to meet the kids.

  “It went great! It didn’t take me as long as I thought it would to give the statement. I spent most of my time with Tommy and Sara. Sara is so cute and she climbed right up into my lap and even hugged me.” She lets out a sigh, like she’s reliving it in her mind.

  “I’m so glad. What about Tommy?”

  She bites on her lower lip, reminding me just how horny I am, and I can’t do anything about it, yet. “He took a little while to warm up to me, but once I started telling him that I used to live at that foster house and some of the things they did to me, he started talking up a storm. An hour later, we became friends and talked about all kinds of things. He’s really smart.” I give her a smile and lean up and give her a kiss then brush back some of her hair, leaving my hand on the side of her face.

  “That�
��s amazing!”

  She smiles. “It really was! I think we really connected,” she says excitedly. Her smile fades and she sucks in her lip ring, acting nervous.

  I look into her eyes and frown. “Baby? What’s wrong?” She acts almost shy, not at all like her. “C’mon. You can tell me anything.” I smile, trying to make her relax.

  “Well …. I had an idea, but I’m not sure what you’ll think about it.” She bites her lower lip, and if she doesn’t stop doing that, I’m not gonna be held responsible for my stitches getting pulled out when I flip her over and attack her.

  “Try me.” I wink.

  She sits there for a minute until I’m about to go crazy until she blurts, “I think we should adopt Tommy and Sara.” That damn lip goes into her mouth again, and I laugh. I can’t help it. “Why are you laughing?” She leans down, her face close to mine. “I want to give them a happy life. You know they’ll just put them back into the system, another foster house. I don’t want that.” Her eyes search mine, and I think I just fell in love with her all over again.

  I bring my hand up and cup the back of her neck, pulling her the rest of the way to me and kiss her so hard, I think I bruised both of our lips. “Baby. This is why I love you so much. I’ve been thinking about the same thing.” Her eyes widen as her eyebrows raise. “Really. I had thought about it a couple of days ago, but I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it.”

  “We had the same idea?” She smiles.

  “We had the same idea.” I smile back.

  She kisses me then smiles against my mouth. “I guess we both get a point.” We start laughing and then we sit there, my arm around her, and as she plays with my fingers we start making plans.

  “Now, about that puppy….”

  Epilogue

  Four months later…