Just Shoot Me (Cowboy Way, #1)

by Becky McGraw

  Smart enough to know she didn’t want to be Tina Dixon anymore.

  ***

  “Dean I need to talk to you.” Cord walked up to Dean where he was loading hay bales in the back of his truck to carry out to the field for the broncos. He swiped the sweat from his face with his sleeve, and pulled off his gloves.

  “Did you talk to Tina?” he asked the same question he’d asked his brother for a week.

  “I’m talking to her tonight. Mama talked to her yesterday.”

  “She get anywhere?” Dean asked quickly. His brother’s sympathetic eyes answered the question. Dean turned away to heft another hay bale. “I wish she’d talk to me,” he grumbled as he swung it up and over the side of the truck. Damn, he forgot his gloves, and the wire cut his fingers. No more than he deserved.

  “I wouldn’t be surprised if she never talked to you again, Dean. If I said something like that to Hope, I’d probably be divorced before I could blink. We’re trying for you, but don’t expect too much. She’s pretty set on moving back to Dallas once school is out.”

  Anger shot through Dean and he spun toward Cord and grabbed his collar. “She is not leaving.” If he had to tie her up to keep her here, that’s what he would do. Dean was getting just that desperate. She couldn’t leave him. His heart took a dive in his chest and he rubbed it.

  Dean bent to lift another hay bale, not even worrying about the sting of the wire on his hands. Maybe that would take away the incredible pain that had been in his chest since Tina had moved into the bunkhouse.

  “She had an idea I think you should try,” Cord said leaning against the truck.

  Dean stood back up. He’d try anything Tina asked him to try to fix things between them. Whatever it took to do that. “What?”

  “She suggested that you give Cindy a taste of what she’s asking the court for. Call your attorney and suggest he get the judge to have Cindy be required to have mandatory weekend visitations with Jeremy. If he has to go live with her anyway, it couldn’t hurt. He doesn’t even know her. Might be a wakeup call for her and Daddy Bobby.”

  Dean thought about that for a second, and his spirits lifted a fraction of an inch. The more he thought about it, the better he liked it. “That sure would keep her out of the Cowboy, wouldn’t it?”

  “Why, yes it would.”

  “And I’m sure if I told Jeremy he could do any damned thing he pleases when he goes there to visit, as long as it isn’t dangerous, he could come up with some pretty inventive things to do,” Dean said with a laugh. Fully on board with the idea now, Dean added, “Hell, I might even buy him those markers and finger paints he wanted the last time we were in town.” He couldn’t help the grin that was plastered over his face. His wife was fucking brilliant.

  “And horns and whistles,” Cord added with a laugh.

  “I want to be a fly on the wall. Maybe we could buy Jeremy one of those helmet cams, so he could record her face for us. Damn, I’d pay to see it,” Dean said with excitement.

  “What are you waiting for? Call your attorney and let’s go to town.”

  On Friday night, Dean was nervous to let Jeremy go anywhere with Cindy, but he knew it was for a good cause. His attorney had thought the idea was a stroke of genius and the judge was more than happy to hear ‘the parents’ were working things out between them. Cindy’s attorney waffled, because it was weekend visitation, but he couldn’t convince the judge to schedule it at another time because she didn’t have a damned excuse for not taking him for the weekend.

  Cindy didn’t work, never had. She had always lived off of the man she married. And that lucky bastard was Bobby Jones not him, thank God.

  “Let’s wait out on the porch for your mother, Jeremy.” Dean couldn’t make himself call her his son’s Mama, because that would mean she actually was a mother. And Cindy Dixon Jones definitely was not.

  “Daddy, do I call her Mama?” Jeremy asked as he sat in one of the rockers on the porch.

  “You play that by ear, son. You call her whatever the heck you feel like calling her. Cindy is her name,” Dean said gleefully as he sat down in the rocker beside him. She was raised in south Texas. The south. If Jeremy called her Cindy, she would shit a brick. But it was a helluva lot better than the other names he’d like to suggest his son to call her.

  “Did you pack your finger paints and markers?” Dean asked.

  “Yes sir, and my new whistles and horns!” Jeremy squealed. “Thank you for getting those for me. I love them. Laney does too. We play train.”

  “That sounds like fun.”

  “Maybe Ma-um, Cindy will play train with me,” he said, looking at Dean uncertainly. Damn, he hated confusing his son. This is going to help him though, Dean reminded himself.

  “Well if she doesn’t, you can play by yourself.”

  “I’mma miss Laney,” Jeremy said sadly. “Why can’t she come with me?”

  “Because Cindy isn’t her mother,” Dean explained patiently.

  Cindy wasn’t anyone’s mother. Jeremy didn’t understand that, because Dean’s attorney had warned him about bad-mouthing Cindy to Jeremy. Dean knew he didn’t have to say a word anyway. His son would understand it all on his own very shortly. And that was too damned bad, but Dean didn’t have a choice here. If he did, his son would never be exposed to Cindy. If he didn’t do this, Jeremy would probably end up living with her once the DNA results on Bobby came back.

  “I wish Laney could come anyway,” Jeremy persisted, but headlights at the end of the driveway told Dean the show had begun. He stood and handed Jeremy his backpack. “You’ll have fun. Just play with your toys,” Dean said, shoving him toward the steps.

  And give that bitch hell, he added mentally.

  On Sunday morning, bright and early, Dean was jarred awake by his cell phone ringing on the night stand. He patted around on the table until he found it, then answered. “Yeah?”

  “Dean this is Cindy,” she said angrily.

  “Something wrong?” he asked innocently. He glanced at the alarm clock and saw it was just now six-thirty. Something had definitely happened.

  “What the hell hasn’t happened is a better question! I’m bringing Jeremy home on the way to the emergency room.”

  Dean sat up, and fear shot adrenaline through him. “Emergency room?”

  “For me, not him!” she spat. “I slipped on his fucking marble, and I think I broke my ankle. Bobby is bringing me to the E.R. But we’re bringing him home first!”

  “Oh, I’m sorry you got hurt, darling,’” he drawled smoothly. “Hope everything is okay.”

  “It will be as soon as I bring him home,” she grated through her teeth. “We’ll be there shortly.” As Cindy was hanging up the phone, Dean heard her yell. Jeremy get in the car! Now!

  Dean laid back in the bed and laugher rumbled in his chest, then spread to his stomach. Before long, he was on his side holding his stomach while he howled with laughter. Dean laughed so loudly that his mother came through his bedroom door in her pink chenille housecoat and fuzzy slippers, looking frantic.

  “Dean, what happened? Is Jeremy okay?”

  “He’s fine,” Dean said then laughed a little more. He was breathless when he said, “But Cindy’s not. It worked, Mama!”

  Barb Dixon grinned and put her hand on her hip. “That’s my boy. Just as bad as his Daddy. I knew he could do it.”

  Dean sobered then. “He is just like me isn’t he?”

  “Worse. That nut didn’t fall far from the tree for sure.”

  It was true. And damn he was proud of that boy. He just hoped that enough damage had been done that Cindy decided to drop the custody suit. That would be a huge relief, and he would owe Tina a huge debt. Not that he didn’t already.

  “Thank you for helping, Mama,” Dean said, looking at her. She had talked to Tina twice, and even though it hadn’t helped, at least she had tried. Dean wasn’t giving up. He was going to keep fighting until she listened to him. He loved her, and she was going to listen to hi
m. He only hoped she heard him, and believed what he said.

  “I would do anything for my family, son. You know that.”

  And Dean would do anything to keep his family together. Anything.

  The next day Dean got the call from his attorney around noon. He was out in the pasture, helping Cord move the bulls. Their lowing was so loud, Dean had to trot over to the tree line to hear the man. Dean’s heart was beating a mile a minute, when he asked, “What happened?”

  “Her attorney called. Cindy called him first thing this morning to tell him about what happened and her broken ankle. She and Bobby both agree that they want to drop the custody suit. She wants to give you full custody. No visitation even. Damn, you’re good, boy. Better than me, even.”

  “No, Jeremy and Tina are good,” Dean said as happiness like he hadn’t felt in three years surged through him. He hung up the phone with the attorney he would no longer need and let out a loud whoop that echoed across the pasture.

  The bulls split up, his father and brother cursed. Dean threw his head back and laughed.

  It was a good day. The only thing that would make it better would be if his wife would talk to him. One problem at a time, he thought happily, as he kicked Blaze to go help the round up the cattle.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  One more month, Tina thought as she watched Laney catch the bus with Jeremy at the road through the window at the bunkhouse, then grabbed her purse and briefcase off the table by the door. “Hope, I’m leaving,” she yelled and smoothed her hair. “Wish me luck!” Her hand shook as she twisted the doorknob, and excitement danced in her stomach.

  “Good luck!” Hope yelled back from the bedroom.

  She had her interview with Laramie Jeans today. Through the grapevine at his attorney’s office, Cord had found out that Tonya Laramie had been fired by her father, so the position was open. Tina had the experience to get it, and she had a feeling she would.

  She swung the door open, a cool gust of spring wind carried in delicious cologne mixed with pure Dean. He stepped around from the side of the door to block her exit. Damn, she had been able to dodge him for two weeks, but it looked like her luck had just run out. That didn’t mean she was going to deal with this right now.

  In her heels, Tina was tall enough to push his shoulder so she did, and tried to walk by him, but he grabbed her arm. “Let go of my arm,” she grated.

  “Don’t leave,” he said and his voice wobbled. “I’m sorry, buttercup, so damned sorry.”

  “I don’t have time for this now, Dean,” Tina replied, hardening her heart.

  “Where are you going?” he asked sharply.

  “Dallas. I have an appointment.” With Laramie, then with my attorney to file for divorce.

  “Let me drive you,” he said. “I don’t want you…um, that’s a long drive alone.”

  “No thank you. Now, let my arm go. You’re going to make me late.” And Tina definitely didn’t want to be late.

  “Jeremy is staying with Mama tonight. Have dinner with me so we can talk…please.”

  “No, thank you. I have Laney, and we really don’t have anything to discuss. Now let me go,” she said with a jerk of her arm. He turned her loose, but he didn’t let her pass.

  His stormy blue eyes held hers. “I will never let you go,” Dean said through his teeth. “You want me to chase you? I love you, and that’s not going to change. So I’ll chase you as far as I have to, as long as I need to.”

  He loved her? Too little, too late, cowboy. A few weeks ago, those words would have meant everything to her. Now? They meant less than nothing. “Dean, I have to go. Please move.” Tina pushed his shoulder again, but he didn’t move.

  His eyes fell to her hand. “Where’s your ring?” he asked with anger in his voice.

  Tina ran her thumb over her naked ring finger and guilt shot through her, even though she shouldn’t feel a damned ounce of it. “I took it off.”

  She wasn’t going to lie to him, and she wasn’t going into this interview and have to explain her personal life when she suddenly became unmarried in a few months. Dean looked up at the ceiling of the porch, and his nostrils flared as he sucked in a deep breath. He finally looked back at her, and his eyes were so filled with emotion she thought he might cry. It would serve him right if he did, he’d done enough making her cry to last a lifetime.

  His voice was raw and unsteady when he said, “I’m not letting you divorce me. That baby you’re carrying is mine. You’re mine.”

  “I’m not a possession for you to use and abuse, Dean. And I certainly don’t want to trap you into anything. This baby is mine. You don’t have to worry, you’re off the hook this time. I don’t need or want your help,” Tina said snidely.

  Dean looked down at the toes of his boots, reminding her so much of Jeremy her heart hurt. She was losing her son too when she left, but she had to leave. Tina took the opportunity to edge past him and head for her car.

  He followed her, and she huffed out a frustrated breath when he wouldn’t let her open the car door. “I’m sorry, Tina. I love you, and I want our baby. I want you.”

  “The damage is done, Dean. Sorries won’t fix it. Nothing will,” she said with emotion choking her. “Now move, so I can go.”

  Why was Tina disappointed when he stepped back and opened the door for her? She looked at him for a second, before she slid into the driver’s seat and pulled the door shut. Dean headed toward the barn with his head hung low, and Tina cranked the car, but she didn’t pull out of the driveway until he walked inside. Her heart was heavy in her chest, but she put the car in reverse, backed up then turned and shot forward down the driveway.

  “She’s going,” Dean said sadly as he met his brother in the office in the barn. He sat in the chair beside the desk, and pulled his hat off to toss it on the desk. He ran his hand over his face. “What the fuck am I going to do?” he asked, as if his brother had the answer to that question.

  Dean had fucked up the best thing that had ever happened to him in his sorry ass life.

  Sorries won’t fix it. Nothing will.

  Emotion shot up to his throat and it was all Dean could do to hold it back. He was going to lose her, lose his baby. Over the last two weeks, Dean had tried flowers, apologies, even a new engagement ring to go with her wedding band. All of it had been sent back to the house via Cord or Hope. He was running out of time and ideas.

  “I’ll have the money soon, if you want to buy her and the baby a house in Dallas. There should be plenty left after we pay off the settlement Hope made with Bridezilla.”

  As usual his brother had found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Laramie was settling the lawsuit before their name got dragged through mud so deep they’d never see the light of day again. “She has a home here with me,” Dean replied.

  Cord sucked in a breath. “But she doesn’t want it, Dean. The best you’re going to be able to do, man, is take care of her and the baby.”

  “The best isn’t good enough then.”

  “You can’t make her stay here. Hope has talked to her, I’ve talked to her. Hell, Mama has talked to her twice. She’s dead set on getting that job and moving back to Dallas when school is out. I’m so damned sorry.”

  You can’t make her stay here.

  Dean would just see about that, he thought, as he pushed up to his feet. There had to be a way to get her to listen to him. To forgive him. He decided he needed to take a trip out to the lake and think. “I’m out of here today. You’re on your own.”

  “Take as much time as you need,” Cord said as he walked out of the office.

  Tina was worn out by the time she pulled into the driveway at the ranch. Today had been one of the most trying days of her life. Not only had the interview gone on way too long, because the HR woman was chatty, she had to interview with three other people up the food chain after that, all the way up to the owner, Cecil Laramie.

  They said they wanted to make sure they practiced due diligence when hiring
the next director of marketing for the company. Tina didn’t let them know that she knew what that meant. What they were really doing was making sure they didn’t hire someone like Cecil Laramie’s daughter again, who had abused her position every chance she got. Like she had done with Cord. That had cost them a lot of money and credibility.

  They had nothing to worry about there with her. Tina was probably off men for good now. Or at least for a very long time. She was going to have bigger things to worry about from here on out. They didn’t offer her the job, but they’d come damned close.

  She was asked about her salary requirements and availability. Cecil Laramie didn’t even blink when she threw out a number twice the salary she made at Texas Tomboy. He also didn’t have a problem waiting until the end of school, if they decided to hire her. Supposedly they were going to let her know by the end of next week. Tina knew in her heart she would be offered the job. She aced the interview.

  But she had to cancel her appointment with the attorney. It was a little disappointing since she’d worked up a head of steam to do it, but she was kind of glad she had more time to think about it. She didn’t want to let Dean’s words this morning affect her decision, but they did. The sincerity she heard there, the abject misery in his voice, made her think maybe he had seen just how horrible what he’d done to her had been. Maybe he truly was sorry.

  That didn’t mean she’d forgive him. But she was thinking about at least letting him talk to her at some point in the next month. Before she made another appointment to file for divorce.

  It was dark, so Tina pulled up under the light at the side of the front porch of the bunkhouse and shut off her car. She grabbed her purse and briefcase, then opened her door to swing her legs out of the car. When she stood a dark figure dashed from the darkened side of the bunkhouse. She dropped her purse and briefcase, preparing to run, but before she could a sack was thrown over her head and a rope was looped around her arms at the elbow.