Break (The Breathe Series Book 3)

by Lila Kane

  “Finn?”

  His voice was low and dangerous when he answered. “You know how I feel about that.”

  “But—”

  My breath caught when he moved, faster than I could blink, and straddled me. He caught my wrists in the grip of one hand. “We’re not going to have this conversation.”

  “Not tonight,” I qualified.

  “What did you mean?”

  “What?”

  “When you asked why this is so hard,” Finn said, voice still dangerously low. “What were you talking about?”

  Aware of every inch of his body that touched mine, I shifted in his grasp, but he didn’t move.

  “Tell me,” Finn said.

  “Just that…I love you. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you, and I know this is right. Us. Together.”

  “It is.”

  “But then shouldn’t it be easier? I know life’s not one big rainbow. I understood why my heart hurt all the time when I was with Mark, but…”

  His hold loosened. “Your heart hurts all the time with me, too?”

  “No, Finn, it’s not that. I ache to be with you. All the time. And life keeps getting in the way. No, forcing its way in, like a battering ram. I just want to enjoy you. Us. And then there’s John and Tracy and Mark and secrets and it’s taking over. Everything. Every moment I’m with you, I want more, and then it’s there again. Life. Taking away us.”

  “Charlotte…” Finn leaned in, his lips touching mine softly. “I didn’t know this was weighing on you so much.”

  “It weighs on you, too.”

  “Sweetheart, I don’t mind chaos. I’m not as organized a soul as you.” His words made me smile. “But I do need that one-on-one time, just like you’re talking about. I want more, too. I ache to be with you, too, Charlotte. It eats me up that I can’t just make you the center of my universe—or let you be the center, rather. That you’re forced to deal with that real world that isn’t all rainbows.”

  I started to say more, to say that it was enough that he listened, that he was here. But Finn shook his head.

  “I can fix this,” he said, surety in his voice.

  “It’s not something that can be fixed.”

  “Let me do this, Charlotte. I can make it better for you.”

  “Finn—”

  “You told me part of the problem, and I know where you’re coming from. We can’t change the circumstances, but I can help change where we’re standing within them. Let me fix this for you.”

  How? How was he going to make any of this different?

  “Tomorrow’s Friday,” he said, leaning down again, lips a breath from mine. “Keep your weekend open, okay?”

  I nodded, my body already straining toward his. “Yes.”

  “And now, let me love you.”

  I couldn’t argue. He was already stroking one hand down my side, tracing the curve from my breast to my hip, before he tugged on my panties. He drew them down my legs.

  “Right now,” I murmured. “No more waiting.”

  He hovered over me, either in surprise or feeling as much longing as I already was. I spread for him, welcoming him to me. Without any questions, he slid inside of me, filling me full and making me sigh. My heart and my body accepted him at the same time.

  The rest of the world faded away. All I could do was feel as he eased in and out, twisting his hips and making me aware of every inch of him.

  “Finn,” I whispered, my hands sliding over the muscles of his shoulders and squeezing as each sensation hit me. “I love you.”

  He gathered me up against him, fingers twining in my hair. “You’re the only one for me, Charlotte.”

  “I want you. All of you, right now.”

  In response, he levered himself over me, his strong body pinning mine to the mattress with each expert thrust. I matched his speed, pressing my hips against his in a rush to give and take. And when I came, it was with a sharp cry and then a gasp of air.

  “Yes, baby,” he whispered, not stopping as I rode that long wave of pleasure.

  I came again when his mouth found my nipple, and with another gasp of air, Finn’s body was tightening. His cheek pressed to my breast, my heart hammering against his ear, as his body shuddered with release.

  When his body relaxed, I wrapped my arms around him and let my heart settle.

  “Tomorrow,” he murmured. “Things will look different.”

  “Okay,” I whispered, willing to trust him.

  “I have a job for you.”

  Intrigued, and also tired, I closed my eyes with a smile. “What?”

  “I’ll tell you tomorrow. As long as you get a good night of sleep first.”

  Without hesitation, I mumbled, “Yes, sir,” before sinking into a fitful sleep.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  His footsteps were in the hallway, deliberate and loud, echoing on the hardwood. “I know you’re there, Charlotte.”

  I made myself smaller in the closet, curling up into a ball behind the clothes and praying he’d give up.

  But his footsteps just kept coming. Closer and closer. Until they stopped right outside the door.

  “Charlotte,” he said, voice almost musical. “You’re going to regret this.”

  “Charlotte!”

  Finn’s voice broke through my dream, jerking me awake. I immediately panicked. It was dark, and I wasn’t in bed.

  Hands shaking, I reached out, my stomach jolting when I felt lumps beneath me. Then something soft touched my hand. And something else.

  Clothes.

  And beneath me were shoes.

  I crawled away from them, searching for the door. I was in a closet, just like in my dream.

  Suddenly, the door opened, sending light spearing into the space and making me shrink back.

  “Oh, God. Charlotte.” Finn’s voice was full of fear as he crouched in front of me. He called over his shoulder. “I found her!”

  I looked up at him, an apology on my lips, but he hauled me into his arms on the cold, hard floor of our closet.

  “I couldn’t find you,” Finn murmured, lips close to my ear. “I thought—I thought—”

  “I’m okay,” I whispered.

  “I looked in here. I looked everywhere, and I couldn’t find you.”

  Curtis appeared in the doorway with Shane just behind him. His shoulders relaxed visibly.

  “Ms. Evans, are you hurt?”

  I shook my head.

  “Where were you?” Finn asked, pulling back to see my face.

  I pointed back to the far corner of the closet, where the shoes were askew and my long dresses hung. If he’d looked here in a hurry, it would have been easy to miss me—especially if he hadn’t had the light on.

  “I must’ve…” I cleared my throat, lifting my voice for Curtis to hear. “I must have been sleepwalking. I do that sometimes.”

  He nodded. “I’m aware. Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Moore?”

  My cheeks heated. I opened my mouth to explain, or apologize or something, but nothing came out.

  “No, thank you,” Finn said, staying where he was.

  They both turned away from the door and we were left alone. Finn wouldn’t release his hold on me.

  “I thought—I don’t know what I thought. It was like last week when you vanished and we had no idea where you were. Charlotte.”

  His voice was almost hoarse, either from the emotion or from him calling my name.

  I squeezed my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

  “It’s not your fault. But I woke up and you weren’t there. What were you doing in here?”

  My voice came out small when I said, “Hiding.”

  “Oh, baby.” Finn shifted, pulling my legs up so they were on his lap. “I’m here now. You don’t have to hide.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said again, closing my eyes and letting myself relax in his grip. Half of me was mortified, the other half terrifi
ed. This had to stop.

  “You’re tired.” He shifted, and then stood, lifting me as he did so.

  I squeezed his shirt in my fist. “I can walk. Finn—”

  He ignored me, carrying me to the bed in the cool bedroom, and setting me gently on the sheet. He pulled the comforter over me and shut off the lamp by the bed.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  “Finn,” I whispered.

  He rubbed his hand over his eyes, clearly as tired as I was. “I just need to talk to Curtis for a minute. Do you—would it better if I slept in the other room?”

  My mouth opened with the response, but again, nothing came out. Finally, I said, “No.”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  “Please tell Curtis and Shane I’m sorry.”

  He didn’t say anything, just vanished out the door, his footsteps light as he walked down the hallway. I turned to my side and groaned into my pillow. I couldn’t believe Curtis had seen me like that again. And Shane this time, too. They must think I’m crazy. Or almost.

  I checked the time on the clock. 2:17 am. Great. Finn had had to drag them in here in the middle of the night. They were supposed to be at home with their families, or sleeping, or something. Not playing babysitter while I hid in the closet.

  Finn returned in the darkness, climbing under the covers with me and wrapping his arm around my waist. I was turned in the other direction, staring at the window and wondering when I’d ever get consistent full nights of sleep again.

  His lips touched my hair. “I guess I didn’t wear you out enough last night,” he murmured, a smile in his voice.

  Instead of making me laugh, the comment made me sob. “No, you didn’t.”

  “Charlotte, don’t cry. God, you’re killing me. Tell me what to do and I will.”

  I shifted, turning to face him in the darkness. I pressed as close as possible, my legs tangling with his. “I don’t know what to do, Finn. I…” A tear trickled out and I gritted my teeth, hating feeling like I was falling apart. “I need to fix this.”

  Those were the magic words for him. He always wanted to fix things. To have a solution and apply it to the situation. And if it didn’t work, he’d try something else. Finn was a fixer.

  “Okay.” He nodded. “I know what we can do.”

  “What?”

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then go to sleep, sweetheart. Get some rest and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

  Safe, and more relaxed in that bubble of trust, I drifted off in Finn’s arms.

  I wasn’t surprised Finn wasn’t next to me when I woke the next morning. I was surprised, however, that he hadn’t woken me. When I saw the time, I sat up straight in bed, cursing.

  “Finn,” I grumbled, climbing out of bed and shoving my hair off my forehead. I was supposed to leave for work in twenty minutes.

  I heard his footsteps coming down the hallway and frowned. Glancing down, I saw the picture of him and Tracy staring up at me from the end table. I picked it up, prepared to throw it in the trash.

  “Morning,” Finn said with a smile.

  He carried a cup of coffee, which he held out to me.

  “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

  “Because you needed sleep.”

  “I have to work, just like you.”

  “And you will.” His gaze flicked to the picture. He held out his hand. “I can take that.”

  “Don’t you think it’s weird that you still have a picture of you and her, but we don’t even have one of us?” I dropped the picture in his hand and snagged the coffee.

  “All part of my plan,” Finn said, smoothly pocketing the picture.

  Frowning, I walked to the closet, coffee in hand. I shut my eyes against the image of Mark standing just outside of it, waiting for me. The image of me sitting inside, curled up in a ball of fear.

  Finn’s hands touched my shoulders and I almost spilled my coffee.

  “Easy,” he said softly. “Do you need some help?”

  “Picking out my clothes?” I smiled. “No.”

  Walking into the closet, I said, “So this plan you mentioned…”

  He leaned against the door, arms folded casually, and a smile on his lips. “Yes, the plan. There are a lot of steps, most of which I won’t bore you with right now. Step one was to make sure you got some extra sleep. No one’s going to care if you’re a little late.”

  I angled my head at him. “I care.”

  He grinned. “No one else is going to care. And besides, that’s not your job today.”

  “What’s not my job? Caring?”

  “Precisely.” He pointed. “I’d suggest the gray skirt. No, that one. Your legs look great in it.”

  I lifted my eyebrows at him.

  “Just a suggestion.”

  I grabbed the gray skirt and turned. Finn reached out to take my coffee.

  “Are you going to watch me get dressed?” I asked, pulling a blouse down from the hanger as well.

  “If you’re not opposed to it.” He grinned again. “Give me something to remember you by as I head into work.”

  “I’ll be ready, just give me a minute.”

  “No, please, take your time.”

  I frowned at him, making him laugh. “What’s with you this morning?”

  He shrugged. “It’s Friday.”

  I pulled off my T-shirt and slid on a bra, cheeks flushing when Finn’s eyes followed my every movement. When I shimmied into my skirt, he exhaled.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  I swallowed down the wave of pleasure that brought me. “No time for compliments.”

  “On the contrary, there’s plenty of time.” He passed my coffee back when I was dressed. “Step two is, relax. Take your time this morning. I know you’ll be into work soon and you’ll work your ass off to make sure everything is done. So…have breakfast. Take your time. Tammy came in early to make you an omelet and…hash browns, I think?”

  I followed him down the hallway. Tammy sent us a quick wave before vanishing to the other side of the apartment with a duster.

  “She said she’d make you something else if you don’t want this, but in the meantime, she’s cleaning,” Finn said.

  I sat at the counter, but wasn’t able to relax. “Are you going in now?”

  He nodded. “Only because I have a few calls to make.”

  I opened my mouth to protest, but he covered it with his own. “No arguing. And I’ll tell you all about the calls. The whole truth, right?”

  “Right,” I murmured, staring at the bowl of fresh fruit Tammy had also put out.

  “Shane will be walking in with you this morning when you’re ready. Take your time,” he reminded me, pressing another kiss to my temple. “And don’t forget, I have a job for you when you get into work.”

  Sending him a grin, I said, “I hardly think that’s appropriate for work.”

  “Ah…” He touched my cheek. “No, we’ll save that for later.”

  “Promise?”

  “You couldn’t stop me from wanting you more, Charlotte,” he said, gathering his phone off the counter. “Come find me when you get to work.”

  I nodded and watched him leave the apartment. I caught a glimpse of Shane waiting outside and sighed. How was he even awake to be here right now when I’d had him up in the middle of the night?

  Taking my time as Finn suggested, I ate my breakfast and wished Finn was here with me. One day we’d have some sort of schedule. We’d be able to sit and eat breakfast together and enjoy each other’s company. That’s what we needed, I realized. That’s what had been bothering me so much last night.

  All we had was chaos. All we had was one day to the next without knowing what was going to happen. I needed consistency with Finn.

  Tammy appeared from the hallway and smiled at me. “Ms. Evans, I packed a lunch for you and Mr. Moore. I think he forgot to bring it in.”

  I got off my stool as she peered in the refrigerator with a
nod. “Yes. He forgot.”

  Her eyes were kind when she said, “You’ll bring it in, won’t you? Share some time with him. Make time for yourselves together. I know he needs it.”

  “I think I need it, too.”

  Her hair, graying at the temples, was pulled into a severe bun, but her smile was soft. “Life’s too short, right?”

  “Right.”

  She patted my shoulder as she passed, and then disappeared into another room.

  After brushing my teeth, I grabbed my purse and phone, as well as the bag Tammy had packed, and stepped into the hallway.

  Shane greeted me with a nod. “Morning, Ms. Evans.”

  “I’m sorry about last night.”

  “What for?” He started toward the elevator.

  “Getting you up in the middle of the night.”

  He gave me a rare smile as he pushed the button. “I’m a night owl.”

  I returned his smile, but still felt guilty. Finn was paying them to do their job, but still, I didn’t have to make their job so difficult, right?

  We rode the elevator in a comfortable silence, and I made a mental note to get in touch with my sister again. I still hadn’t told her about me and Finn and the engagement. I hadn’t told my mom either. But they had no idea I was with Finn again. They had no idea about a lot of things, and I figured it was better to ease into the conversation in person.

  Shane escorted me all the way to the office lobby, saying he’d hang around a bit to make sure everything looked safe and sound. I wasn’t sure why, but I’d rather talk to Curtis about it. I wondered if they had any news on Mark’s whereabouts yet.

  I got my messages from Tucker first before depositing my purse and the packed lunch from Tammy in my office. I sighed when I read the note on top of the small pile.

  Tracy. Again.

  I almost took the message to Finn. Almost decided I’d let him handle Tracy and whatever she needed. But this was business. I’d started off working with her, I could handle myself. As long as she kept her hands to herself and left Finn alone.

  Dialing her number, I waited, hoping I could leave her a message. But when she answered, I put a smile in my voice.

  “Hi Tracy, this is Charlotte.”

  “Oh, Charlotte, hi.” She sounded tired, nothing like the flirty woman I’d talked to before. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to you sooner about the space and the keys and all. Also, my boss, Mr. Holmes, as well as his head chef, would like to see the place. Can we set up a time next week?”