Broken

by Robin Nadler

  “Nurse?” She asked from the bathroom.

  “Lila? It’s David. Can I help you?”

  “I need a nurse,” she said softly.

  He walked out and saw some kind of emergency down the hall and they were busy. He walked back into the room. “There is an emergency and it will be a minute. Why don’t you let me help you?”

  He waited.

  “You can come in,” she said weakly.

  He opened the door and saw her sitting on the chair in the shower, the curtain around her and she was shivering.

  “I needed a towel and a hand. I think I stood a little too long and I was afraid I was going to fall if I walked. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, so if you can hand me a towel, I’ll wait for a nurse.”

  He grabbed a towel and handed it to her and then he grabbed a blanket. He waited while she wrapped the towel around her and then he walked closer and opened the curtain. She was shivering and smiled at him.

  “Sorry, I really can wait. It was stupid for me to take a shower without asking,” she said and shrugged.

  “Can you stand up for a minute? I need to get you warm,” he said.

  “I can wait,” she was worried he was going to run again.

  “I’m not going to leave,” he said gently, knowing she was worried.

  “I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” she said softly.

  He smiled, “There is nothing about you that makes me uncomfortable. Come on.”

  She took his hand and stood up slowly. He helped her step out of the stall and she tripped, falling into him and dropping her towel. He held her naked body to him, reaching to grab the blanket, keeping one arm around her. He wrapped the blanket around her and gathered her in his arms, carrying her to the bed and gently placing her down.

  “Let me close the door to the room,” he said and walked to close it before he turned and looked at her. She was shivering on the bed, her head in her hands.

  He grabbed another blanket and walked to the bed, sitting next to her. He wrapped another blanket around her and rubbed her arms, trying to warm her.

  “I’m so sorry, David. I feel ridiculous,” she said as she finally looked at him.

  “Why?” He grinned. “It’s not like you head butted me in the crotch, sprayed me with pepper spray or put me in jail.”

  She grinned. “That last one was you. If I recall, you put me in jail.”

  “Details,” he waved it off and she smiled, but her body shook.

  “I’m so cold. I can’t get warm,” she said through chattering teeth.

  “Come here,” he said and pulled her to him, wrapping her in his arms and rubbing her tiny frame. She rested her head against him and almost fell asleep.

  He felt her get heavy and smiled. “We need to put some clothes on you and then you can sleep.”

  “Right,” she sat back. “I’m good if you want to wait outside.”

  “Lila, you almost fell asleep standing up. I’m not going anywhere.”

  She looked at him and touched his cheek. “Are you really here because you want to be? Is this my imagination?”

  He traced a line down her cheek and softly leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. She kissed him back and then pulled away before he leaned in and claimed her lips again, pulling her against him.

  She smiled as they parted and he cupped her face in his hands.

  “I’m right where I want to be. Please don’t doubt that.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay,” he said and got up, making his way to grab another gown for her. He helped her put it on, doing his best to not look anywhere he shouldn’t. He tied it in the back against her smooth skin and she sat back. He picked her legs up and placed them under the covers before he tucked her in.

  ”Your shirt is wet. I’m sorry,” she smiled sleepily.

  “I’ll dry,” he said as he sat down next to her. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “I should have taken care of you like this after we were out in the rain. I should never have left,” he said and sighed.

  “It’s okay. We’re past that, David. I am the only one responsible for my actions and I caused this, not you or anything you did or didn’t do. I allowed myself to get sick and I am the only one to blame. I just don’t know why I was so quick to give up. I’m not usually like that,” she said and closed her eyes.

  “I know a little about what that’s like.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “After the incident, I didn’t see much reason in going on with my life as I knew it. I didn’t want to do anything. I felt like it was best if I just stopped caring about myself.”

  She sat up more and reached to take his hand. “Can you tell me a little more about what you went through? I feel like you only scratched the surface. I want you to know you can tell me anything and I won’t judge you.”

  He looked at his hand in hers and then he shrugged. “I don’t think it needs to be discussed. I don’t want to think about it anymore and I don’t want it to ever be something that comes up between us. I just think I need to get past it and move on.”

  She wasn’t sure how hard to push him at that moment. “I think you will only be able to move on when you talk about everything that happened, but I also know that it isn’t for me to push and you have no reason to confide in me. I just want you to be okay and happy.”

  He sighed. “I just don’t want to go into it right now, okay?”

  She nodded. “Of course.”

  He smoothed her hair off her forehead. “How do you feel?”

  “Much better, but I seem to have zero energy. I think I will go home tomorrow and finish recuperating there.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She smiled. “I’ll be okay. I’m better, David, and I miss Adam and Eve.”

  He chuckled. “I’m sure you do.”

  “Admit it, you like them, too.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Whatever makes you happy.”

  She smiled and took his hand and held it to her heart as she closed her eyes. “Thank you.”

  He wiped his eyes as he watched her. He could never tell her the whole truth.

  Chapter Twenty-Five:

  Lila walked into her house the next day and thanked Carrie for taking her home. She smiled as her cousin showed her the groceries she had picked up and how she redecorated some of Lila’s things to make it more modern.

  “I’m happy with my furniture, Carrie, but thanks,” she said as she sat down on the couch.

  “Lila, you are brilliant, and I get that, but when it comes to your sense of fashion, well, I think I win that one,” Carrie sat down.

  Lila chuckled. “Point taken.”

  “So tell me what’s going on with David?”

  “Nothing. He is just a friend,” Lila said and stretched her legs out.

  ”No he isn’t. A friend calls you or sends you some flowers. He has been there every day after work, bringing you dinner and sitting with you. He is totally into you.”

  Lila blushed. “He is just being nice because he feels badly about how sick I was. I guarantee you, now that I’m home, I won’t see him as often.”

  Carrie smiled. “It’s cute how you think that way.”

  Rolling her eyes, Lila looked at her friend. “Why don’t you go back to work? I’m going to take a nap and relax. Thank you for everything.”

  Carrie stood up and covered her with a blanket. “I’ll leave, but you’ll see how right I am soon enough.”

  “Thanks; for everything,” Lila said sincerely.

  “I love you,” Carrie walked to the door and smiled as she saw David pulling up. She looked back at Lila who was already asleep. “Just being nice, huh?” She walked out and David parked, getting out and grabbing a bag.

  “She is sleeping, so you can just go in. I left the door open.”

  David smiled at Carrie. “Thanks. Do you think she will mind?”

  “Not even a little. Just remember, if you hurt her, I’ll
end you.”

  David nodded. “You remind me of that every chance you get.”

  “Sometimes the pretty ones need to hear things more than once.”

  David chuckled. “I see.”

  Carrie grinned and left. David walked into the house and put his bag down. He made his way into the family room and saw her asleep on the couch. He checked in on the eggs and then Adam and Eve and he sat down in a chair by the couch. It had been a long day and he was exhausted. He let sleep take over.

  ******

  David opened his eyes and realized quickly something was wrong. His head was killing him and his eyesight was fuzzy. He looked around and his vision was almost double. He also realized quickly he was naked. He went to get up when he also realized he was tied to a chair.

  “What the hell?” he said, or at least he thought he said it. It sounded like mumbled gibberish coming out of his mouth. He yanked at the ties around his wrists, but something was very wrong with him. He blacked out again.

  Someone was doing something to him. He needed to get up and go. “Stop it,” he mumbled quietly, trying desperately to open his eyes.

  “I don’t know why it isn’t working. Where is the stuff you brought?”

  “Who is that?” David asked through the fog and finally opened his eyes. There were two people there, doing something.

  “What’s happening?” he asked, finally making some sense.

  There was no answer, but suddenly there were hands on his body, touching him, grabbing him.

  “Stop it,” he said and tried to move.

  “Come on, David, you know you like this. What kind of a man doesn’t have a fantasy of being tied up by a woman?”

  That voice. He knew that voice. “Stop it right now.” Something was on him, hurting him. He tried to move, but he couldn’t.

  “Why isn’t it working? What the hell is wrong with him?” One voice said to the other.

  “You gave him too many drugs. He can’t get it up. Try something else.”

  David felt his heart race. This couldn’t be happening.

  “You need to stop this, please. I don’t want this. I don’t consent to this.”

  There was a hand across his face, hard and stinging. He tasted blood and was out again.

  “Did you get anything? How much do you need?”

  “I don’t know. Try the needles again,” the familiar voice said.

  “June?”

  “Shit. How does he know it’s you?”

  David opened his eyes and focused. “What the fuck are you doing to me? Get away from me.”

  “You think you’re all that, don’t you. God’s gift to women. Wait until they hear that the infamous Dr. Bryant isn’t so infamous. You’re a pathetic excuse for a man, you know that?”

  He tried to fight the pain in his body and his groin was on fire. “What did you do to me?”

  “Nothing you probably haven’t done a million times before.”

  “Maybe he’s gay. Put on the gay porn,” the other voice said.

  “We tried that. He won’t respond.”

  “We need to go. Forget about this.”

  June shook her head. “No way. I need to teach him a lesson. If he doesn’t want to have children with me, then he won’t have children with anyone.”

  David realized what was going on and he began to panic. “What are you doing? Don’t touch me again. Don’t come near me.”

  June grabbed him again and he felt a terrible burning sensation through his groin. He vomited all over himself and then the pain became blinding. He thought he was going to die, and then everything went black.

  ******

  Lila woke up to the sound of moaning. She jumped up, alarmed that someone was in her home when she saw David asleep on the chair. He was moaning and whimpering and she saw a look on his face that was heartbreaking.

  “David?” She said aloud, needing to wake him up. She walked to the chair and touched his shoulder. “David? Wake up!” she yelled.

  “Don’t touch me, please,” he cried and then sat up, his eyes wide open.

  “It’s okay, it was just a dream. You’re okay now,” she said softly.

  He looked around and then looked at her and his whole body filled with shame. “Oh God,” he put his head in his hands and sat there.

  Lila went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. She went back to him and put it down. “David? Are you okay?”

  He stood up and wiped his face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  She walked to him. “For what? You didn’t do anything. Talk to me, please.”

  He looked into her eyes and she could see such sadness. “I shouldn’t be here. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  “David, stop running. Look at me and understand this. You are safe here. I won’t hurt you. Please don’t leave, just let me help you,” she moved closer and took his hand. “Come sit down.”

  He didn’t know what to do. He looked at her hand in his and felt his eyes fill. “Lila, you don’t understand.”

  She led him to the chair and he sat down with her. “What don’t I understand? What are you so afraid to tell me?”

  He was still a little dazed and he took a sip of water. “I don’t know why I had that dream. I haven’t in so long.”

  “Can you tell me about it?”

  He would rather die. “No.”

  “Okay. What can I do to help you?”

  “You can let me leave and just forget you ever met me,” he said softly.

  She smiled. “First of all, you are free to leave when you want. In fact, if I recall, I was alone when I fell asleep. Secondly, I don’t want to forget I met you. I like you and I have come to appreciate your company. Friendship is a two way street, David. You have been there for me, and now you need to trust I will be there for you. Let me in a little.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t deserve your friendship.”

  “That’s just not true.”

  He looked at his hands. “I appreciate your kindness, but I need to go. I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake in coming here.”

  She exhaled. “You have to let this out, David. Whatever happened to you, whatever you went through, you have to tell someone. You need to take its power away.”

  He felt his eyes fill. “I wish I could. I look at you and I wish there could be more. I have never felt more of a pull to anyone like I have to you and that’s why I need to go.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  He stood up and moved away from her. “Lila, because of what happened to me,” he stopped.

  She moved to face him. “What is it?”

  His heart cracked as he spoke. “Because of what June did, I can’t have sex.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six:

  David wondered if it was possible to die of embarrassment, but then he realized that if it were, he would have died long ago. He looked at Lila. “You probably want me to go, right?”

  “No,” she said, her eyes filled with tears. “Why would I want you to leave?”

  “Because now you know everything. Aren’t you creeped out? Turned off?”

  “Actually, I don’t know everything. I think maybe it’s time you told me more.” She walked over and sat down on the couch. “Will you come sit with me?”

  He sat down on the other end of the couch, “I don’t understand you.”

  She raised her eyebrows, “Why not? I’m not that complicated.”

  “Didn’t you hear what I told you? Why do you still want to talk to me?”

  She got angry. “David, I am trying not to be completely insulted that you seem to think so little of me, but you need to stop trying to assume what I’m thinking.”

  “I don’t think little of you at all.”

  “Then why would you think I would want you to leave?”

  “Because I can’t have a relationship with you. What good am I to you if not for sex?” He looked at her and sighed. “That didn’t come out right at all; I’m sorry. I don’t even know
why I said anything.”