The Tie That Binds

by Maura, Catharina

  I stare at him and barely even recognise him. Daniel is known for his ruthlessness but he’s never shown me this side of him. I don’t even understand why it hurts so much.

  I let go of him and cross my legs, deeply ashamed of my behaviour. Somewhere along the line I thought Daniel and I felt the same way. That the attraction was there, and that it wasn’t just me. Now it looks like I was wrong. He was just being nice to me and trying his best to behave the way he thought he should as a married man.

  “What, you just can’t wait to get back to fucking a different model every weekend? Not having sex for a just a few months was too much for you?”

  He looks as though he’s going to object to what I’m saying, but then he looks away, as though he knows I’m right and can’t be bothered to come up with an excuse.

  My heart feels as though someone twisted a knife into it. The idea of him with someone else makes me feel sick.

  I stare down at my fingers and nod. He’s right. He’s got Devereaux Inc. I’m the one that stands to lose everything if we were to get divorced. He’d be just fine.

  “Very well, Daniel. If that’s what you wish.. if that’s what’ll make you happy, then that’s what we’ll do. It’s not like I can keep you from doing what you want.”

  Daniel looks at me, his expression unwavering. “Yes,” he says. “That’s what I want.”

  18

  “So what exactly is going on between you and my brother?” Dominic asks. I balance my phone on my shoulder as I swipe my access card in the lift and press the button for the top floor. Only executive office staff members have access to the top floor and while I understand the security measure, having to swipe my card every time I get in the lift is pretty annoying. “Nothing. What do you mean?” I ask. Thankfully I’m at least alone in the lift. “Connection might drop. I’m at work now.”

  “What, you two don’t go to work together? Why did you move out and move in together if nothing is going on?”

  I roll my eyes. “The apartment is just closer to work, that’s all. Things are still the same between me and Daniel. I told you that.”

  “Good. Then you won’t be hurt when you see today’s tabloids.”

  I freeze. Daniel has been coming home late most of the week since our argument and wasn’t home much at all during the weekend, but I assumed he was just at the office. When he was home he was quiet and distant. No matter how cheerful I tried to be or how much I tried to make him smile, all I was met with was cold politeness. The politeness hurt more than an argument would have. I’d rather have him shout at me than have him treat me with indifference. He hasn’t even been coming back to have dinner with me. I thought we might have a chance to get closer again last weekend, but he stayed away and only came back to sleep.

  I walk into the office to find Luke and Jake grinning down at this week’s tabloids. I grimace at the thought of our old office tradition. For the last couple of years we’ve always stuck a tabloid photo that was taken the weekend before on Daniel’s office door, the more scandalous the better. We’d usually keep it up for up to a few weeks, until another girl inevitably replaced the old one. There hasn’t been a photo on the door for months now, but like Dominic said, he didn’t last long.

  I watch as Jake and Luke stick the photo on Daniel’s door. I walk up to it expressionlessly and stare at the photo. He’s with a beautiful woman. Another skinny model, no doubt. She looks familiar, so she must be quite famous. She’s got his suit coat over her shoulders and looks up at him adoringly as he smiles at her. She’s holding on to his arm as he walks her the final few steps to his Aston Martin. Looks like they walked out of a restaurant that’s well known for how romantic it is. It’s also got a waiting list of three months and I’ve never even been there before. I guess that’s how he was spending some of the evenings that he didn’t eat at home.

  I wonder if he fucked her. If she’s had what I’ve never had. Did he come home to me after sleeping with someone else? Did he fall asleep in the room across mine with another woman’s scent still all over him?

  “Are you okay?” Kate asks. I blink in surprise and look at her. I struggle to smile and nod at her politely. “Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  She glances at the photo and then back at me. “It’s probably some sort of publicity stunt, you know. I bet he was working on some ad with her for Devereaux Inc.”

  I laugh. Does she realise how stupid she sounds? Do they look like they’re working on some sort of advert?

  “Why would I care what our boss does in his free time?” I bite out. I turn and make my way to the bathrooms. I swipe my card to access the executive bathroom. It’s large and has a shower in it as well as a regular toilet and sink, but most importantly, there are no other stalls in here. I lower the toilet lid and sit down on it as the first tear escapes my eyes. I bury my hands in my hair and allow myself a couple of moments of heartache. A couple of moment of my hopes dying.

  I was stupid to think that Daniel was different. He’s always shown me exactly who he is. Those photos have always been up. The tradition started when I was still an intern years ago. It continued all the way through when I worked part time during uni and only stopped when my dad passed away. I’ve seen the photo of every single woman he’s been with, so why am I still surprised? I can’t compete with the women he’s been with, and it seems I couldn’t capture his attention for more than a few weeks anyway. I’d rather find out now than later.

  I pull myself together and fish my eyedrops from my handbag. I’ve spent years wanting to quit and crying in the bathroom because clients were difficult or because my dad was tougher on me than anyone else. I never thought I’d sit here and cry over a man, though. I shake my head at my own foolishness.

  By the time I make it back to the office everyone is dead silent and the photo is gone. Daniel probably came in and ripped it up, though why he tries is beyond me. One of the boys will have a new one printed and stuck on there within the hour.

  I sit down and get to work. Daniel made it clear last week that he wanted things between us to go back to what they used to be. I just didn’t listen. I held out hope where there was none. I don’t even understand why I’m so hurt. We were never together. We never even kissed.

  I was never this hurt over anything Dominic ever did, so why are things so different with Daniel? Is it just because he’s my husband? Is it because I feel possessive?

  I print out the timeline and agenda for the meeting with Takuya. Daniel will have to travel to Singapore for it. I wonder if he’ll manage to find himself someone to warm his bed there too. I don’t doubt he knows a couple of actresses or models down there. If not, Mr. Takuya will be happy to introduce him to some.

  I knock on his door and wait for his permission to enter. He looks stressed and distraught when I walk in. He looks at me cautiously, as though he’s wondering whether I’ve seen the picture and how I might react if I have.

  I stand in front of his desk and slide the itinerary his way. “This is the proposed timeline. I contacted the Singapore office and they agreed to assist with the presentation. The itinerary has been approved by Sasuki, Mr. Takuya’s son.”

  Daniel just stares at me. I wonder if he heard a thing I just said. “Daniel?”

  He blinks and nods at me. I smile politely and repeat what I said. Daniel nods along but he’s absentminded. He’s probably still thinking about last weekend’s girl. I wonder how long she’ll last. He doesn’t usually last more than three weeks with one.

  “You— are you alright?” he asks, his voice soft. He sounds concerned and I wonder if my eyes are red despite the teardrops.

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  Daniel shakes his head and looks over the itinerary. “Come with me to Singapore. You know this project better than anyone else. You can take the lead.”

  I nod. “That’s a wonderful opportunity, boss. I won’t let you down.”

  Daniel stands up and leans forward, his palms on his desk. “Boss? You have
n’t called me boss in months. What’s going on?”

  I shake my head. “Nothing. Would you prefer it if I call you Daniel at all times?”

  He looks at me warily and then looks down. “You saw the photo.”

  I inhale deeply and nod briskly. “Yes, of course. Me and everyone else at the office, and probably a couple hundred thousand other people. She’s pretty.”

  He looks at me in disbelief. “She’s pretty?” he repeats.

  I purse my lips and look away. “If that’s all, Daniel, I’ll get back to work.”

  I turn to walk out of his office but he grabs my wrist before I reach his door. I turn back to look at him and raise my brows.

  “That’s all you’ve got to say?” he bites out.

  I look away. “She’s just your type, isn’t she? Tall, blonde and with no curves to speak off. No wonder you wanted to start seeing other people. All the girls you’ve always been with are the opposite of me. Like I said, she’s pretty. What else am I supposed to say? Well done?”

  I’m average height with dark brown hair, green eyes and more curves than he can fit in his hands. I’m not even remotely fat, but I’m certainly not catwalk thin either. I’ve always been told that I’m pretty, but I’m not drop dead gorgeous like the women Daniel dates are.

  “You asked for things to go back to how they were before we got married, and I guess you made it happen. I hear you now. I get it. I’m sorry I kept clinging to you all week last week. I kept pestering you to watch movies with me and to eat with me. I won’t do it again. I apologise. You were quite clear when you told me you wanted to see other people.. that you wanted us to be the way we were before we got married. I’ll work to make that happen. I won’t overstep again.”

  Daniel tightens his grip on my wrist and pulls me closer. I stumble in my heels and only just about manage to balance myself.

  “Alyssa, no. That’s not—“

  He inhales deeply and looks away. “Look, nothing happened between me and her. It was just a business meeting. That’s all.”

  I laugh. “I don’t remember ever attending a meeting and holding a business partner’s arm while his jacket is wrapped around my shoulder. But sure.”

  I yank my wrist out of his grip and walk to the door.

  “I didn’t cheat on you, Alyssa. I swear. She’s just an old friend that had a proposal for me. That’s all.”

  I turn back and smile at him. So at first it was a business meeting and now she’s an old friend? “You don’t need to make excuses, Daniel. Our marriage isn’t the type where that is required. Like you said.. You’ll do what you want and there’s nothing I can do about it if I want to inherit my father’s shares. Point taken. You needn’t worry. You’ve made it clear that I don’t have any rights to you. I’ll stop now. I’ll stop seeing things that clearly aren’t there.”

  I walk out and pray some of my heart will remain when our marriage inevitably comes to an end.

  19

  When I walk into the apartment I’m met by acoustic music, dimmed lights and the smell of something delicious. I walk into the dining room curiously and find Daniel setting the table. He hasn’t been home early in a week and a half, so what is he doing here today?

  My heart sinks at the thought that he might be expecting someone. This is his home, after all. This is probably where he’d take the girls that he used to date.

  “Hey, you’re home,” he says. He smiles at me sheepishly. He looks good. He’s still in his suit but he’s ditched the jacket and tie, and rolled up his sleeves to expose his forearms. I nod and glance at the table. Candlelight, lasagna, salad and some delicious looking dessert. He went all out.

  “Do you have plans?” I ask. “If so, I can just leave.”

  He freezes and looks at me in disbelief. “No. Of course not. I just thought we could have dinner together.”

  This is all for me? I guess he’s feeling bad about so blatantly seeing someone else a mere few days after informing me he would.

  “I’m not really hungry. Thanks though.”

  I turn to walk back to my room but Daniel runs up to me and holds me by my shoulders from behind.

  “But it’s tradition, isn’t it? Weren’t we going to have dinner together a couple of times a week? How about we do twice a week. You’ll cook once and I’ll cook once.”

  I pull away from him and turn around. “I didn’t think that was still a thing considering that you didn’t show up for dinner once last week. It’s not a tradition if you only keep to it when it suits you. Besides, it isn’t something we used to do before we got married. You wanted things to be like what they were before we got married, right? You don’t need to humour me with this,” I say, waving my hand towards the table. I actually waited up for him every single night last week, but he never bothered to come for dinner. He never informed me he’d be late either.

  I move to walk away but Daniel stops me yet again. He grabs my hand and entwines it with his before lifting our joined hands to his chest.

  “I take it back. I take it all back, Alyssa. I don’t even know why I said that. I don’t want things to go back to how they were before we got married. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I didn’t mean it at all. I just didn’t want you to.. I didn’t want either of us to feel forced in this relationship. I didn’t want you to feel like you’re just with me because you have no other choice. I wanted us to be able to do whatever we want, yet hopefully still choose to spend time together.”

  I look at him, confused. What exactly is he even trying to say? I pull my hand out of his grip and smile wryly. “So I can cheat on you tomorrow and then tell you I want to take it back? That I wasn’t thinking clearly when I very clearly told you I wanted to see someone else? Also, how fickle are you? Didn’t you tell me you had someone you wanted to pursue? Didn’t you bet you’d marry her? So who is this girl you’re seeing now?”

  Daniel runs a hand through his hair and groans. “Fuck, Alyssa. I’m telling you. I didn’t cheat on you. Do you want to ask Giselle? I can call her right now.”

  I blink. “Giselle? The girl you were with last Saturday is your ex? The one that miraculously lasted more than three months?”

  His eyes widen slightly and he purses his lips, as though he’s decided to finally shut up. I shake my head. The tabloids had a field day with Giselle and Daniel. She’s the one the whole world thought would last. I haven’t actually read any of the articles published about them today, but I’m sure the media is excited about seeing them together again.

  “Just have dinner with me, Alyssa. Please. I understand that you’re angry, but I swear it’s not what you think at all. If you can’t give me anything else, then at least give me a chance to have dinner with you twice a week. Let’s be friends? We’ll live together for at least the next couple of years. Won’t it be so much more comfortable if we’re friends?”

  I hesitate and eventually nod. Daniel pulls out a chair for me and I sit down reluctantly. He seems anxious as he serves me dinner, and if I didn’t feel so numb I’d find it cute.

  “So how about we spend some extra days in Singapore to do some sightseeing?” he asks. I bite down on my lip. I don’t want to spend time with him but I’ve always wanted to go to Singapore, and he probably knows it. “We can stay in the Sands for a couple of days?” he adds. I glance at him in surprise. “The hotel with the infinity pool?” I ask, my curiosity piqued. He nods and grins at me as though he knows he’s got me now.

  I bite down on my lip and nod. “Sure, but you’re paying for it.”

  He shrugs and nods. “You got it, babe.”

  I stare at my plate while he continues to carry the conversation by himself. “We can also go see the Gardens by the Bay and one of my friends recommended a beach club in Sentosa. I think you’ll probably really like that.”

  I look up at him and nod. “Sounds good,” I murmur. Daniel grins at me. “It’ll be great,” he agrees.

  I get up as soon as I’m done eating. Daniel looks startled and rises with me.
“Thanks for dinner,” I tell him. “Let me know when you’re done, and I’ll come tidy it all up.”

  Daniel shakes his head. “No that’s fine. I’ll do it. But I was thinking of watching the rest of The Emperor Strikes Back. We didn’t get to finish it last time, remember?”

  I’m tempted but I shake my head. What I need is a long shower to clear my head. “I think I’ll head to bed,” I tell him.

  He looks dejected but nods and bids me goodnight. I walk away before he tempts me into staying.

  After spending at least forty minutes in the shower I sit on my bed and go through my social media feed for lack of anything better to do. There’s one headline that captures my attention.

  Daniel Devereaux sues tabloids and denies rumours about him and Giselle

  I click on it, my curiosity getting the best of me.

  Daniel Devereaux was spotted coming out of Regale with former beau Giselle on Saturday night. The two were caught smiling at each other intimately as they made their way to Daniel Devereaux’s two-million dollar sports car. In our photos it’s obvious that Giselle is wearing Daniel Devereaux’s jacket and the affection in her eyes is unmistakable. Nonetheless, Mr. Devereaux’s spokesperson denied involvement of the two, while Giselle has refused to comment. To our knowledge Mr. Devereaux has never before taken legal action against the countless rumours floating around about him. One can’t help but wonder whether there might be a reason, or a lady, behind the former Casanova’s sudden surprising actions. After all, he hasn’t been spotted with anyone in months now.

  I stare at my phone blankly. He sued them? I’m not sure how to feel about that or what to even think of it. I stare at my bedroom door as the sounds of the movie Daniel’s watching fill the apartment and bite back a smile. Daniel hates it when the volume is too loud, but he’s obviously turned it up so I can hear the movie from my bedroom. I hesitate for a second before I make my way to the living room. He’s lying on the sofa wearing shorts and nothing else, his elbow behind his head. His hair still looks wet so it looks like he just walked out of the shower.