My Darcy Mutates…

by Enid Wilson

  “Follow them!” Darcy yelled at the camera crew, the muttered, “Great!” sarcastically to himself and stormed off to the walk-in pantry to cool off, “Now we’ve lost the cast. I don’t want to be stuck here! I’ll die of frustration.” He sat down on a barrel of olive oil and dropped his head into his hands. He loved food and he loved the walk-in pantry. As a boy, he had often hidden in the pantry at Pemberley when he was chased by his cousin Richard.

  Celebrity chef Charles Bingley was the face of “Heat Up the Kitchen Table,” but he was not the foul mouth personality he portrayed in front of the camera, a larger-than-life character who helped restaurant owners around the world to rescue their businesses. In reality, he was the forever cheerful man who was renowned for indecision.

  The format and success of the show were due more to its quiet and insightful producer, William Darcy. Darcy was a successful businessman and media mogul with an arrogant and perfectionist attitude. He had scripted many of the initial controversial confrontations on camera which had served to launch Charles and the show into fame and win the hearts of struggling restaurant owners.

  The crew of the popular television show was filming in Meryton, trying to rescue a family restaurant, Longbourn. It had quickly become apparent that head chef Jane Bennet was a doormat who let her sous-chef and youngest sister Lydia trample all over her.

  In Darcy’s eyes, the mother and business manager, Fanny Bennet, was a nervous wreck who only wanted to marry off her daughters to any wealth patron who happened to pass through, and woman who should never have worked in a restaurant. She cried and screamed under the slightest pressure, as well as whenever she couldn’t get her own way from her husband. The head waitresses, Mary and Kitty Bennet, were forgetful and slack. The father hid in the upstairs office with his books all the time – not accounting books for the restaurant, but books from his personal library on philosophy and history. No wonder the restaurant was in dire need of a rescue.

  The only person worth a glance was Elizabeth Bennet, the second eldest daughter. Actually, she was worth many glances. She had dark, curly hair, intelligent, bright eyes, witty conversation and a lovely smile, not to mention a body perfectly suited to his taste.

  Darcy would never understand how Charles could prefer the skinny, willowy type like Jane. He himself was definitely a ‘meat’ lover who liked his woman voluptuous.

  But Elizabeth didn’t work in Longbourn Restaurant. She was a chocolatier who owned and operated three shops called Pure Indulgence. Chocolate was Darcy’s weakness. And he had soon discovered that her chocolate was pure heaven. She had been using her profits to subsidize the ailing Longbourn for the past year, and it was she who had written to “Heat Up the Kitchen Table” to ask the show to help rescue the restaurant.

  Darcy had met with Elizabeth several times before the shooting was due to begin. It wasn’t the norm, but Charles had fallen in love with his angel, Jane Bennet, immediately after meeting her, and so he had persuaded Darcy to come for the preshow meetings in Meryton, where he spent hours monopolizing Jane’s attention while Darcy and Elizabeth were left to “entertain” each other. Darcy thought that Elizabeth liked him. She certainly seemed to like to get a rise out of him in a sweet, arch way, always arguing with him about this and that, although never flaunting herself. And he had certainly been getting quite a rise every morning since he met her. She had been featured prominently in different positions in his erotic dreams for days, now.

  The problem was that no woman in London, or anywhere else, had held any interest at all for him, since then. To be honest, he hadn’t been seriously interested in anyone since his father died. The occasional Friday night out wasn’t worth a mention.

  Elizabeth was different. She tempted him too much and too fast. But he was a billionaire businessman with a family who relied on him and a self-made fortune. He had been chased by the most beautiful women in the world for years. He would not act on his infatuation yet, particularly not with a woman who had such a troublesome family.

  That was why he had delayed the shooting at the Longbourn Restaurant for almost five months, distracting Charles with other urgent projects. Two weeks ago, however, Darcy’s and Elizabeth’s paths had crossed accidentally. He was attending a food and wine function in Kent with his cousin, only to discover that she was exhibiting her chocolate creations there. She was as tempting as her Pure Indulgence. And that blasted Richard had used every possible minute to flirt and chat her up. Darcy was green with jealousy and almost tongue-tied, at first. But he drew comfort from the fact that she kept talking and teasing him, despite Richard’s efforts to monopolize her.

  Darcy now believed that Elizabeth still liked him very much, even after a five-month absence. Maybe she had been waiting for him to take the first move. So here he was, finally arriving with his crew to shoot the episode about Longbourn. He hadn’t produced the series personally for a while, but he had come anyway. Two weeks on, however, he had seen her only once or twice. He hadn’t had the opportunity to put things out in the open with her yet, but he was determined to do it soon. He had finally admitted to himself, just this morning, that he needed to make love to her soon or he would lose his insanity.

  “Where the bloody hell are you, Darcy?”

  Elizabeth’s voice startled him from his reflection. He was about to reply when the pantry door was pushed open with such a force that the hinges nearly flew apart. He was confronted with the sizzling hot vision of the pocket-sized dessert goddess wearing a red, silky halter top and tight white jeans. No wonder her chocolate sells so well. I wouldn’t mind visiting her shop every day if she wears clothes like this while serving me.

  Darcy calmed his thoughts and spoke politely. “What can I do for you?”

  Elizabeth walked a step closer to him, her hands on her hips. It was a most distracting sight for Darcy. As he was still sitting, his eyes were almost on the same level as her cleavage. And what cleavage! She was furious and breathing so hard that Darcy couldn’t help hoping the seam of her top would burst.

  “What can you do for me? Can’t you wash your mouth out and rewrite your script for Charles a little bit more politely? Did you know that you had him saying ‘Fuck you!’ over 40 times in that script? Jane has a delicate heart, and she can’t take all this foul language and yelling.”

  Lord, I’d love to fuck you too, again and again! Darcy thought. He was exhausted. He hadn’t been able to sleep well for months now, due to the erotic dreams he was having about this woman. On top of that, the shooting hadn’t been going smoothly, as Charles was too damn distracted by his angel. And now this woman was thrusting her breasts in front of him, invading his space with her sexy scent. He wanted to pull her onto his body and stop her yelling with violent kisses.

  But he chose not to do that…yet. The pantry was not the right place.

  Instead he replied politely again. “It’s the truth. You want us here to rescue Longbourn, and we need her to act like a boss. Otherwise, there will be no Longbourn Restaurant any more.”

  “Can’t you make the pill a bit sweeter to swallow? Do you have to ask Charles to swear every three minutes?”

  “But that kind of television sells. I bet the footage with Jane in tears and Charles comforting her will shoot the ratings rocket-high.”

  Elizabeth was getting angrier and angrier. Her mom and younger sisters had been biting her ears off for bringing in this rescue team. Jane was under a lot of stress and avoided talking to her at all. Creditors were knocking at her door. She couldn’t keep subsidizing Longbourn much longer. It might well sink her own shops, too.

  She had come in to see the late-night shoot, just in time to see Jane run off in tears. Elizabeth’s heart ached, and she was torn between running to comfort her or staying to read the riot act to the arrogant producer. She disliked Darcy all the more because, during their first meeting, she had overheard him telling Charles that she was so plain that she wasn’t worth a minute of his time. Since then, she had delighted in teasing and
making fun of Darcy, to get revenge for that conceited remark, even though she found him handsome, intelligent and business-savvy. And she hated him all the more after meeting him in Kent again.

  When she’d seen Charles chasing after Jane, she’d decided to confront Darcy. She stepped closer still and almost breathed her words on his nose. “You’re only interested in your show. You’re a cheat! You don’t care about any of the restaurants you promise to save. Bloody arrogant cheat! I’d have been much better off to hire a business coach to help us than getting us onto your rubbish show.”

  The one thing Darcy hated most was when people questioned his honesty. His blood boiled, and he stopped her from yelling at him in the way he had most been wanting to.

  Surging to his feet, he used one hand to grab her by the waist and pull her close. She stumbled and fell heavily against him. With his other hand, he held her head and bent to kiss her violently. He poured all the frustration from his erotic dreams into the kiss. When he sucked on her upper lip, it tasted of pure dark chocolate. Then his tongue pried her lips open and thrust into her mouth, which tasted of hazel nut and milk chocolate. He rammed his tongue into her mouth, twirling, pushing, withdrawing, thrusting again and again, telling her silently how he wanted to possess her body.

  Elizabeth struggled at first, trying to push away from him and stand on her own. But after his tongue invaded her mouth, she was lost. She wrapped her hands around his neck and ground her body against his. His six-pack muscles gave her the most stimulating sensation! Her nipples peaked and her stomach lurched.

  His hands smoothed over her naked upper back and grabbed her bottom through the jeans, squeezing and rubbing her cheeks. She was much more responsive than in his dream. He untied her top, then sank back into his chair and pulled her down onto his lap, reaching around her to plant his hands on her treasure mounds. They were firm and bouncy. Her skin was smooth and her nipples hardened like rocks.

  He felt a huge arousal coming. As she rubbed her bottom over him, he nearly came in that instant. He tried to slow his body down, but her breasts were more than he could resist. He squeezed and fondled them with avid interest, making her moan and squirm on his lap.

  The friction was too much. Maddened, he pushed her to stand up and rose with her, tearing at her jeans. He succeeded in opening them and forcing them, along with her tiny panties, down her legs.

  Elizabeth gasped, feeling the cool air on her body. Inside, however, she was boiling and eager for action, too. She unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his hairy chest.

  “You’re the most arrogant person I know,” she murmured against his skin as he caressed her mound, “but you’re just piping hot!” She pushed her hands down his trousers and grabbed hold of his butt. Her fingernails teased the crest of the cheeks, sending shivers down Darcy’s spine.

  He abandoned his caress of her apex and tackled his trousers, pushing them and his boxers down in one go. Then he pressed her against the shelves, kissing her, kneading her twin peaks, rubbing his arousal against her, bombarding her with rich sensations all over her body.

  “I want you. I can’t wait!” He growled like a hungry lion, then pulled her legs up to wrap around his waist.

  “Me either. I’m so hot!” Clinging to him, Elizabeth suckled his earlobe and dug her fingers into his back.

  He supported her creamy bottom and teased his shaft against her entrance, not entering, just touching and opening her secret lips.

  Elizabeth moaned aloud with the contact, and he echoed her. She was so wet that she could feel her essence flowing down her body.

  Darcy was hard and huge, unable to bear another tease. He pushed his thick manhood into her, slowly at first because she was so tight and small. Inch by inch, his body invaded, sinking into her warmth.

  Elizabeth was speechless and breathless. Darcy was strong and powerful in every inch of his body. He stretched her muscles and skin, on and on, conquering every pore and surface of her inner self. He was so slow and patient that she kissed him passionately to urge him on.

  At that, he sensed her needs and thrust deep into her with one mighty final push. She screamed out loud, feeling a molten sensation in her core, as it had never been touched and stretched so deeply and intensely before.

  Then, raising her, he withdrew almost his whole length from her before pounding into her again. His potent manhood warred with her soft, moist muscles. His hands manipulated her bottom as he slammed into her again and again. The friction, the wetness, the pounding, their moaning and breathing created an intense, erotic rhythm in the pantry. On and on, he thrust into her, until she felt as if her blood were boiling and radiating throughout her body. She felt weightless, shivering and convulsing as she reached heaven.

  Her whole body went limp. He drove into her for a final few times and then he also lost control, trembling violently as his seed fountained up into her.

  Then he sat back down on the barrel, with her straddled on his lap. The two of them still hugged each other tightly, enjoying the aftermath of their earth-shattering mating, with their bodies still linked together.

  Slowly, a sense of reality returned. They were in the final stages of dressing in silence when Darcy suddenly blurted, “Shit! I forgot the condom.”

  Elizabeth pulled open the door and walked into the now deserted kitchen. The back door was locked, and the restaurant in the front was pitch black, the only light coming from the pantry.

  She steadied herself against the kitchen table. It’s 2 o’clock in the morning! He had been fucking her senseless for almost an hour. She was angry with herself for allowing him to make love to her without protection. He seemed to make her forget herself completely. She was supposed to hate him. “Luckily for you, I’m on the pill,” she said tightly.

  “There’s still no excuse for me. But you’re so hot that you make me forget everything.” Darcy wrapped his arms around her from the back, kissing her neck tenderly.

  She shivered and tried to turn away from him. “No need for flattery. I know you find me a ‘plain Jane’ who isn’t worth a minute of your time.”

  “Shit! You overhead that?” He let go of her and raked his fingers through his hair in embarrassment. “I wasn’t myself, that night I met you. I hadn’t even looked at you properly when I said those words. But I was hooked on you before the night out.”

  She turned, craning her neck to look him in the eye. “But I hate you.”

  “Hate me? I thought you liked me.”

  “Arrogant, conceited man! Why would I like you?” She scowled up at him. “Richard told me you deliberately delayed shooting the episode about Longbourn because you wanted to separate Charles from the woman with the ‘objectionable family.’”

  “Fucking gossiping Richard! I’m going to strangle him, next time I see him.”

  “Do you deny separating Charles from Jane? She was heartbroken for months!”

  “Richard got it all wrong!”

  “But he talked about somebody being ‘like a horny rabbit, wanting to fuck the woman senseless, every time he sees her.’ And he said ‘her mother and younger sisters were too much trouble, so he chose to delay shooting for nearly five months.’”

  Darcy was furious with Richard. “I didn’t use those vulgar words. And I wasn’t talking about Charles and Jane. I was talking about you and me.”

  Elizabeth stared. “Shit! You’ve had the hots for me for that long?”

  “I can prove it. I have condoms in my wallet.” Darcy pulled out his wallet and slammed the condoms in different colours on the kitchen table one after another. “They are there to remind me that I have lusted after you for all these months. And I’ll use all of them with you, all night long, if I can get my hands on you again, one day.”

  Elizabeth eyes widened on seeing the number of condoms he pulled out. His hands were braced on either side of the kitchen table, trapping her there. He was breathing hard, his six pack rising and falling rapidly.

  He looked magnificent when he was angry.


  “So…you didn’t find me plain? And you didn’t scheme to separate Charles and Jane?” she asked.

  “No.” He shook his head with vigour.

  “Then what are you waiting for?” She wrapped her hands around his neck and tried to pull his head down for a kiss. “The condoms are waiting.”

  Darcy raised his hands and stopped her. “Actually, I have a different position in mind for each different-coloured condom.” He then turned her around and pushed her to lie on the kitchen table, face down. He lowered his head and kissed her earlobes, neck and naked back, trailing hot, wet kisses over her body.

  Elizabeth shivered. She felt chilled as the front of her body pressed against the cold stainless kitchen table. But she felt hot as his lips were scorching her back. Blood rioted in her body again.

  Without further foreplay, he unbuttoned her jeans and bared her creamy bottom to his assault. He shoved his trousers down, pulled on the blue condom, joined her on the table and drove into her from behind with one mighty thrust.

  Holding her hips, he thrust into her like mad. His arousal was hot and hard, slamming into her core, deeper and deeper. Elizabeth screamed and wriggled her bottom to meet him, thrust by thrust. Primed as they already were, their mating was rough, hot and fast, and they quickly reached a simultaneous climax.

  Not long afterwards, they retired to Darcy’s hotel to test out other positions and discuss strategy for how he could best handle her family. Both skipped work for the day, blissfully unaware of the firestorm of publicity that hit Longbourn when the restaurant’s sous-chef, Lydia, reported to the police that a thief in the night had raided her kitchen, stealing two dozen oysters and leaving behind an unused silver condom on the kitchen table.

  Darcy And Wickham Swap Partners

  What if Mr. Darcy participated in another reality show?

  “Thanks for tuning in to Celebrity Dancing Shoes. Welcome to everybody in the studio and the millions of viewers at home! I’m Charles Bingley and this is my co-host, that elegant but annoying sister of mine, Caroline Bingley.” Charles flashed a big grin at the camera, earning a smack on the arm from Caroline.