Between the Pain

by Gia Riley

  The view at the top of the trail was worth every step it took to get us there. The river below is glistening in the sunlight. The breeze is slightly stronger and the smell of sap is all around us. I also realize Ryan just showed me his other favorite place. “This is it isn’t it? The other spot you wanted to show me. You mentioned at the airport you go somewhere else to clear your head,” I ask.

  “You remember me saying that?”

  “Of course, I remember everything you tell me. I’m not the only one keeping track of the details.”

  “I like that. It’s peaceful up here without any distractions. So this is my other favorite place to visit.”

  “It’s beautiful.” And it truly is. Every inch of it. The sky seems brighter, the wind crisper, and the colors of the trees and flowers more vibrant. Who knew I would be a fan of the great outdoors. Apparently not wasting a moment of his reflection time, Ryan stares off into the distance.

  “You okay?” Hopefully he wanted to come here to show me his spot and not because he has anything to work through. Although, if he does, I’m glad he asked me to join him.

  “Yeah, I’m good. Just thinking,” he says as he turns and looks at me. “Lets sit down over there.”

  Ryan sits on the ground with his back up against a rock. He pulls me down and settles me in between his legs with my back to his chest. His arms wrap securely around my stomach as he places my hands in his, interlocking our fingers.

  “You sure you’re okay?” I ask one more time.

  “I am now. I like holding you.”

  Clearly he doesn’t want to discuss whatever is going through his mind right now, so I decide to let him bring it up when he’s ready. Hopefully it isn’t about us. We had a great morning and an even better night last night. I’m definitely still riding the high from all the pleasure he gave me. My man definitely satisfies.

  “What would you be if you weren’t a nurse? I know you just got your degree and started practicing but what else could you see yourself doing?” he asks me out of the blue.

  “You’ll think I’m being a copycat, but music. I would love to sing and perform. You blew me away at the bar. That must be such a rush,” I say with admiration in my voice.

  “What’s stopping you?”

  “Everything. It’s a huge risk putting myself out there. What if I suck and people boo. That would be so humiliating. I’m not sure I can risk my sanity like that. You’re much braver than I ever will be, Ryan.”

  “Sing for me.”

  “What!” He can’t be serious. That is way too much pressure.

  “I have a few things in my basement. We can record you singing. You can hear yourself and decide if you want to give it a shot. Would you be up for something like that?” He sounds so hopeful.

  “Where exactly would I be giving this a shot?”

  “I want you to sing with me. You don’t have to do the full set. Just a song or two the next time I play at Shorty’s.”

  “I think you’ve lost your mind. We should head back down the trail. You clearly aren’t getting enough oxygen up here. The altitude is messing with your brain cells or something.” I stand up and swipe the dirt off my pants and grab my water. Ryan isn’t budging from his spot.

  “At least tell me you’ll consider it. We can practice a lot and pick the perfect song. If you decide it isn’t for you, I’ll let you out of the deal. You just have to try, that’s all I ask.”

  Pacing back and forth, I kick a few rocks and I begin to ramble a mile a minute. “Why are you so sure I’d be any good at performing? Maybe I can’t even sing. Then what! Then, you won’t have the heart to tell me I suck and we’ll both get booed off the stage. You can’t risk your musical career over some silly dream of mine.”

  “Breathe, baby,” he says as he shakes his head, amused by my rant. “The Hallie I’ve gotten to know doesn’t do anything half ass. If you want to sing, and think you can, then you should. I believe in you. I just wish you would.” I smile at his kind words wondering how I got so lucky to find such a supportive man and then he follows it up with, “and I promise to tell you if you suck.”

  “Ha. If you want to try this with me, I will try for you. I’m not making any promises. We can try at your house and see what we come up with. It might not even work, but for you I’ll give it a shot. Okay? That’s the best I can do right now. I can’t promise you Shorty’s will happen.” What did I just get myself into? Damn him and his sexy face. He knows I can’t say no to him.

  “Deal! Thank you for stepping out of your comfort zone with me. It means a lot to know you trust me.” I help him up from the ground. Being the nice girlfriend I am, I brush the dirt off his butt refusing to pass up an opportunity to touch him.

  “It’s hot knowing how much you love my ass.”

  “Come on lover boy, let’s head back down,” I say laughing.

  RYAN DROPS ME OFF AT home after our hike to get a few things done before it’s time to head back to work for my shift. He wanted me to come with him to his place for a late lunch, but I had a feeling we would end up right back in his bed where we started our day. While I am all for that idea, I do need to pay some bills and clean up around my house that I have barely been in over the last several days. I thought working evenings would be a drag, but it turns out being able to sleep in and enjoy the day has its perks.

  My phone rings with Alex’s preferred ringtone, Quagmire from Family Guy saying giggity giggty goo. I tried changing it once after the millionth time of being embarrassed in a public place, but it’s no use. He changes it right back. Men apparently have a fixation with messing with my phone.

  “Hey Alex, what’s up?”

  “Just calling to make sure the bears didn’t eat you up on your hike. How was it?”

  “Nope, Ryan had a stick. We’re both in one piece.”

  “I don’t even want to know what that means, but I’m glad.”

  Immediately my mind starts thinking about Ryan’s insanely sexy body. I’m tempted to call him and tell him I changed my mind about his bed. My body is buzzing just thinking about him.

  “Earth to Hallie Mae! I swear the cock is a magical thing. One taste and it turns your brain to mush. Trust me, I get it.”

  “Alex! Sorry. I was daydreaming.”

  “I knew that much. I just wanted to see if you and Ryan wanted to do dinner and a movie with us tomorrow? I want to get to know Ryan better and Tanner has been asking about you.”

  “That sounds like fun. It’s my turn to pick a movie right?”

  “It is but can you pick something that isn’t animated this time.”

  “Hey! You were the one who cried, not me,” I tell him.

  “Hallie, I had something in my eye. I was not crying.”

  “Okay tough guy. It’s a date.”

  “Love you too. See you soon,” Alex says with fake annoyance.

  “Bye!” I love busting his chops.

  Now I just have to call Ryan and fill him in on our double date. I’m excited for him to get to know Alex and Tanner. It’s important to me that they get along.

  SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH, IT ONLY TOOK twenty minutes to decide on a place to go to dinner. It’s the movie that’s causing all the trouble. We still haven’t all agreed on one. Well, let me rephrase that. Tanner and Ryan are happy with whatever is decided. It’s Alex and I who are at war. He knows I hate scary movies yet what does he want to see? The Haunted. If I wanted to watch a movie with my hands over my eyes, I wouldn’t shell out twelve bucks to do so. I lost that argument when Ryan piped up saying he was paying for my ticket. Of all the times to be a gentleman. I’d gladly go Dutch tonight but that isn’t Ryan’s style.

  So here we sit at Phillips Seafood House, sipping on our drinks, waiting for our dinner to arrive. I ordered the shrimp basket and can’t wait to dive in. Tanner has never eaten seafood, which I can hardly believe. Who hasn’t been to the beach and consumed something from the ocean? I guess that award goes solely to Tanner. Poor guy doesn’t know what he�
�s missing.

  “So you’re really going to make me sit through a horror film tonight? You sure you wanna do that?” I figure it can’t hurt to ask one more time with the hopes they give in and go easy on me.

  “You’re that scared, Hallie? Tanner asks.

  Already laughing, Alex decides to share one of my finer moments. “The last scary one she saw she threw her shoe at the TV and cracked the screen. Then guess who got to take her to Best Buy to buy a new one.” The whole table is in hysterics by this point, at my expense of course.

  “Which one was it?” Ryan asks.

  “The Ring.”

  Guys cut it out. It was really scary. I still hate static on the TV. Freaks me the hell out. Ryan pulls me closer and says, “don’t worry Hallie, if anyone tries to pull you through the screen, they have to go through me first.”

  “Ryan! This is not funny. I’m so glad you all care so much. The next one we see is going to be the cheesiest chick flick I can find. I’ll make you dread every single second of it even if I secretly know you love my movies.”

  “Okay babe. You can drag me to whatever you want,” Ryan assures.

  “Damn straight,” I respond.

  By the time our food arrives the guys have me so worked up. I know it’s all in good fun, but I’m definitely plotting my next move. Paybacks a bitch. We all dig into our meals and Tanner’s trying a little bit of everyones to see what he likes and doesn’t like. Shockingly, he even tried an oyster. Even I’m not that adventurous.

  “Hallie these shrimp are so good. Thanks for sharing,” Tanner says.

  “Ohmigod. Tanner look at me,” I shout entirely too loud for the dining room atmosphere.

  When he looks up my worst fear is confirmed. Ryan immediately sees the same thing I do and we jump into action. Both being trained for moments like this, I stay relatively calm despite my racing heart.

  “What the fuck’s going on!” Alex yells in our direction. I’m too busy to explain to him as I dig around in my purse. Pulling out my EpiPen, I open it properly and jam it into Tanner’s thigh. He looks up at me with his eyes bulging out of his head. His skin is red, lips blown up like he just had a bunch of collagen injections and he’s sweating. Thankfully, he’s still alert although slightly disoriented. Ryan squats down next to Tanner and watches as the medication enters his body. I remove the needle and carefully massage the drug into his leg.

  “Tanner how do you feel? Can you talk?” Ryan asks. Tanner mumbles incoherently and still looks like a deer in headlights. Before long, the EMT’s make their way to our table and load Tanner up on the stretcher. Ryan tells the EMT’s exactly what happened and sends the EpiPen along with them to the hospital for the physician to see exactly what was administered. Tanner is already starting to look a little better as the epinephrine begins to do its job. Alex jumps into the back of the ambulance with Tanner while Ryan settles the bill. He insisted on paying even though the restaurant was going to cover the cost of the meal.

  As we make our way to the hospital to check on Tanner, Ryan lets me sit and decompress for a minute. He knows I need a minute to catch my breath and come down from the adrenaline high we just experienced. Sharing the same profession as your boyfriend definitely has its perks. We were able to assess the situation together in the blink of an eye. He was my backup and we worked flawlessly next to one another. It almost makes me wish we worked together in the ER. The practical side of me knows that would only cause unnecessary drama in our relationship that we don’t need.

  “You okay over there, Hallie?”

  “Yeah. I don’t care how many times I see an allergic reaction like that, it still makes me nervous,” I say.

  “I’m glad you had the pen with you. You were really great in there,” he says as he reaches over and squeezes my thigh with his hand. I cover his hand with mine and turn my head to look at him.

  “Whatcha thinking about, pretty girl?”

  I smile and say, “just how lucky I am to have you. Moments like those always put things in perspective.”

  “I’m the lucky one.”

  WE GET INSIDE THE ER, stopping only to see which bed they have him in. When we peek around the corner I see Tanner in the bed with his eyes closed and electrodes placed on his chest. Alex is in the chair next to his bed with his head in in hands.

  I don’t want to disturb Tanner so I nudge Alex to let him know we’re in the room. He raises his head and I can see the unshed tears in his eyes.

  “You okay, Alex?” I ask.

  “You guys scared the shit out of me tonight. All of you. Thank you so much guys. I’m glad you were with us or who knows what would’ve happened. The doctor says he’s allergic to shellfish. They have him on the heart monitor, something about the medicine you gave him increasing his heart rate. This night went to shit so damn fast.” Alex looks completely defeated as he says this to me.

  “I agree with the doctor but don’t worry. The heart monitor is completely routine. He looks ten times better already and they’ll discharge him as soon as they can.” As soon as I finish telling Alex this, Tanner opens his eyes and smiles. “Guess we’re not going to the movies. I’ll never pressure you again, Hallie. Chick flicks from here on out,” he says with a chuckle.

  “Tanner! I was just kidding about the paybacks and Karma bullshit.”

  “I’m not taking any chances,” he replies.

  Two hours later, with a prescription for an EpiPen, we’re all headed back home. After dropping both Tanner and Alex off, Ryan and I decide to continue our date night. He insists we need to go back to his house and switch out his car for his truck. I think nothing of it until I see it. A vintage Chevy truck, painted in a glossy baby blue, shined to perfection, is sitting inside his detached garage behind his house. I know absolutely nothing about cars but I know the Chevy symbol and that this puppy is old.

  “What do you think?” he asks as I stand there frozen in place staring.

  “It’s beautiful. Do you ever drive it? It looks so shiny.”

  “Only for special occasions. My dad and I bought it cheap at the local auto auction and spent many Saturdays restoring it. He insisted I hang onto it even if he was the one to teach me about every inch of it. Wanna get it?”

  I race over to the passenger side and climb inside, sitting down on the white leather bench seat. The leather feels cool under my legs and I shiver. Seriously impressed with the truck and its restored design, I notice it looks exactly the same on the inside as it would have back when it was seen on every highway across America. Ryan tosses some blankets in the back and leans forward to turn on the radio. This too appears to be an original. When he starts up the engine and begins backing out of the garage I get nervous.

  “You can’t take this anywhere, what if someone hits you!” I say with trepidation in my voice.

  “We aren’t going far, no worries. My parents have a cabin behind the lake. I figured we could drive up there and catch the late night movie.”

  “They play movies at the lake?” I ask.

  “You’ll see.” He smiles and continues on down the road. The drive is smooth and I enjoy every second. I crack my window and feel the warm breeze on my face. My hair blows in the wind as I catch Ryan looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I love having his eyes on me. My heart races every single time.

  We arrive at the lake and weave our way through the gates, stopping to check in with the booth attendant. Ryan flashes him a membership card of some sort. We drive a short distance and he points out his family’s cabin as we drive right past it. A huge field lies next to the lake and off to the far right hand side is a gigantic white screen. It looks to be playing previews for a movie. Cars and trucks are scattered around the field next to poles with boxes on top of them. We back into a space and Ryan quickly jumps out of the truck. I see him fiddle with the box on the post and open up the bed of the truck. He climbs in and lays down one of the blankets he brought with him. I climb into the back of the truck and scoot up to rest my back against
the inside cabin so I’m facing the screen.

  “I feel like I’m in some kind of time warp tonight. This is seriously cool, Ry.” I don’t even notice the portable radio sitting next to him that starts playing the words to the picture on the screen. I always wondered how drive in’s worked. A vendor is walking around handing out drinks and popcorn to each vehicle. I’m figuring out quickly his lake house has some very awesome perks.

  “Only the best for you, babe. I still wanted to take you to the movies. They do this every Saturday night here at the lake.” He pulls me closer to his side and brings his lips to my temple where he places a soft kiss. I lay my arm across his stomach and lift my eyes to meet his. The warmth and emotion I see in the look he gives me makes me feel like I’m floating. Wanting nothing more than to kiss his lips, I stretch up so my mouth aligns with his. We miss the beginning of the movie, but I could care less. Ryan’s lips come first.

  When the movie ends, I stay wrapped up in Ryan’s arms until the very last car leaves the field. Our truck is next to the lake and off to the side. I’m thinking he strategically parked here for a reason. The few lights scattered around the outskirts of the field go off with the white light from the screen. The only sounds I hear are coming from the Ryan’s heartbeat underneath my ear along with the crickets. Firefly’s float around the sky above dotting the blackness with little spurts of brightness. I couldn’t dream up a more peaceful setting if I tried.

  Ryan moves himself out from underneath me. He hovers over top of my body sending chills up and down the entire length of my spine. We look into the depths of each other’s eyes and he smiles. Running his fingertip down the length of my cheek, he continues to study my face. I bring both of my hands up and lock them behind his neck encouraging his mouth to meet mine. After a searing kiss, we break apart to catch our breath.

  “Hallie, what are you doing to me? Do you have any idea how much you affect me? I spend more hours of my day thinking about your sexy little body than I do sleeping. When I do sleep, you show up in my dreams. You have inched your way into every part of my life, consuming me completely. My heart is yours, pretty girl. You just have to take it.”