Between the Pain

by Gia Riley

  “Woman, you don’t play fair.” After a quick swat to my ass, he says, “you’re mine tonight. Don’t make any plans.”

  “You know where I live,” I say as I playfully blow him a kiss just like I did in the bar and head back out into the reception area. I hear him laughing behind me and know the smile on my face isn’t going any place anytime soon.

  AS SOON AS I GET back in my car, I text Alex to let him know things are looking up in my world again. The night he had to physically remove me from the shower floor isn’t one I would like to revisit anytime soon. Friends like him are hard to come by and our relationship will continue to be one of my top priorities because as I learned all too well, when you find yourself all alone, you want a friend like him to help pull you out of the darkness.

  By the time I get home I am starving, so I fix some lunch and relax. Sean mentioned plans tonight, but I would be content sitting here on my couch and ordering take-out. I must have dozed off while watching a re-run of Modern Family when I’m awakened by an incoming message on my cell. I see I have a missed call from Amie too. Jeez, how long was I out?

  Sean: Leaving work now. Showering, then you’re mine. Door open?

  Hallie: Yep.

  Shit, I need to shower and shave. Damn, nap. My phone beeps again and I rush over before I jump in the shower. Now what!

  Sean: You okay?

  Hallie: Yep!

  I toss my phone on my bed and rush into the bathroom. I’m not high maintenance, but I do need more than ten minutes to get ready. Guys have it so easy. I’m just stepping out of the shower, wrapping my towel around my body when I see Sean peek his head inside the door scaring the shit out of me in the process.

  “Sean!” I almost drop my towel but catch it before it falls off of me completely. Sean doesn’t look bothered at all as he stands by the door with his lust filled eyes.

  “You’re dripping wet, doll.”

  “What!” I ask with my eyes bugging out of my head.

  “The floor, Hallie. You’re dripping water all over the floor.” He laughs clearly figuring out what I thought he meant.

  “Oh. Yeah. Well you scared me. Go wait in the living room or something. Not this doll shit again, either.” I start walking toward my bedroom when he pulls me back against his chest.

  “Do you need any help, baby?”

  “I just had deja-vu. Very clever.” This time I smack his ass on my way out and sashay all the way to my closet. Eat your heart out, wise guy.

  “ARE YOU FEELING LUCKY TONIGHT, Hallie?” Sean asks me as he wiggles his eyebrows behind his aviators.

  “Well, that depends what kind of luck you’re talking about. You aren’t getting into my pants tonight, buddy.”

  “Do you really hate terms of endearment that much?” he asks me.

  “No, not really. I just don’t like them when they’re used by strangers or guys who are creepy. I enjoy teasing you about it though. You were a little skeevy that night in Shorty’s.” I’m so glad we can laugh about that expression now that he turned out to be the exact opposite.

  “You wound me, Hallie,” Sean says mockingly, not the least bit hurt or affected by my words.

  “Go ahead. You can call me any sweet sentiment you like. I’m fine with it, but only because I think you’re semi-sexy,” I tell him.

  “Only semi? There’s so much wrong with that statement, sugar.”

  I do that obnoxious snort-laugh when I hear him call me sugar. “Okay. You can call me anything except sugar. It makes me think of a ditzy girl who is lacking brain cells. Try again and you are a lot sexy, happy now?”

  “Yes, but you said anything, and that’s my choice,” he says as he pulls me close making my breath hitches and my pulse quickens before he whispers in my ear, “You taste as sweet as sugar. I’ll never forget that.”

  “We should go,” I say as I pull on his arm towards the carnival. The fact that he would think to bring me to a place like this is adorable. Considering we live in a pretty small town outside the city, there isn’t a whole lot to do and everyone pretty much knows everyone else. Although we aren’t official, I know we will get a few stares by being here together. Despite being slightly nervous for people to assume we’re a couple, I know Sean is a good decision for me. He makes me happy and that’s really all that matters. I’ve spent enough time crying. This chick is ready to have some fun!

  We stroll around the booths playing games we have no shot at winning. Sean playfully argues with a few booth attendants about his skill level, and we have a great time. He does manage to win me a stuffed frog to take home. It’s only when he has me in front of something that looks like two flying bird cages that I freeze up and start to high-tail it toward the food stands. I’d much rather munch on some deep fried Oreos and funnel cake, than fly to my death. Sean stops looking up at the sky at this monstrosity of a ride and notices I’m no longer standing next to him. I watch him spin in a circle trying to figure out where I ran off to until he spots me and walks over.

  “Are you afraid?” he asks.

  “Afraid isn’t the right word. You have to be insane to get on that thing, Sean.”

  “I’ll keep you safe, Hallie. Just try it once. If you hate it, we never have to go on again.” I notice him scooting me back in the direction of the line that has formed. It seems there aren’t many bright people at this carnival tonight. He tries one more time to convince me. “It wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t safe.”

  “Do I get to pick the next ride?”

  “Definitely. You can pick all the rest. This is my only request.”

  “Fine, but I don’t like you too much right now.”

  “Hallie, tonight is about second chances and trust. I want you to start trusting me to keep you safe, no matter what we do or where we do it.” I can take care of myself but it feels very freeing to give him my trust. I’ve spend so long locked up inside my own mind, afraid to take chances or to stray too far from the norm, that I see the benefits of just letting go.

  As much as I hate to admit it, Sean was absolutely right. The ride was a blast and I laughed and screamed the entire time. He may not have any feeling in his right hand for a long time to come though. I know I squeezed the shit out of him the whole time.

  When it’s my turn to pick a ride, I go for the smooth and calm gondola style Ferris wheel. The view as we make our way around the loop is incredible. With the wind blowing lightly through my hair and Sean at my side, I feel a level of peace wash over me. The setting sun creates a pinkish orange glow to the sky.

  “Hallie.”

  I turn my head and look up into Sean’s clear baby blues. “What’s up?” I ask. He doesn’t smile or make any facial expressions. We sit staring at each other, taking each other in. When he takes my hand and slides me closer to him, I slide my legs across his lap and lay my head against his chest. He kisses the top of my head and runs his hand up and down my leg.

  “I meant what I said. You know I’ll always take care of you, right?” Sean asks.

  “Of course. You and Alex have been my biggest supporters since everything happened.”

  “That’s true but I mean more than that. I’ve been thinking about it for a while and it really bothers me that you live alone. I know I’m right down the street from you and Alex comes by a lot, but I never want you to feel so alone again that you have to drink yourself to sleep.”

  “I’m not alone, Sean. I have my friends and I have you. Things are really good right now. For the first time in what feels like forever, I feel strong.”

  “Will you stay with me tonight, Hallie? At my place. Just as friends. We can watch movies and talk or whatever friendly things you would like to do.” His tone sounds worried and slightly on edge. I can tell he’s afraid of my rejection.

  Deciding to pacify him, I hug him a little tighter. “Sure, I’ll stay over. I need to run home and get some clothes though. That okay?”

  “Clothes are over-rated. You can wear a shirt of mine.”

  “Ha.
I see where this is going.”

  “Okay, we can stop and get your stuff. I’m trying. I can’t help your hot.”

  The ride comes to a stop and we climb out of the gondola. After stuffing ourselves full of funnel cake and French fries, we make our way back to Sean’s truck. After helping me inside, Sean jogs to the driver’s side and pulls a piece of paper from under the windshield wiper. He pauses and looks at the message. His entire body tenses up. He briefly looks around, stuffs it in his pocket and climbs into the truck.

  “You okay? What was the paper about?” I ask.

  “Just an advertisement about the carnival. Nothing important.” He doesn’t look at me as he says this. I know he’s lying and that scares me. Tonight was supposed to be about trust. If he can’t trust me, how am I supposed to put my faith in him?

  I sit back in Sean’s truck and watch the passing scenery. Deciding to wait until we are home to press him on the mystery paper, I feel myself closing off as my nervousness returns. Since he and I are attempting an actual friendship, for the right reasons, I need more than a promise from him about keeping me safe. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need a man to feel secure in my own world, but I do value the camaraderie and support that comes along with being connected to another person. I wasn’t sure I would ever feel comfortable even contemplating dating again, but much to my own surprise, I haven’t drowned and I’m staying afloat. Each day that passes, I see more of the signs of the girl I was before my devastating loss.

  I’m also well aware that Sean has the power to break my heart all over again, dating or not. I’d like to believe Ryan is watching over me and brought me to Sean for a reason. I’ll probably never stop thinking about Ryan, and I know Sean wouldn’t expect me to. His strength is admirable. Day in and day out, he takes other people’s pain and makes it his own burden. Devoted to helping others heal in their time of need, he is the kind of guy who speaks to my heart.

  The vibe Sean gave off at the end of our ride leads me to believe we have a lot more to get to before we figure out any titles. Choosing to believe he would never intentionally hurt me, I give Sean the benefit of the doubt regarding his secret. This might be a mistake, but it’s one I have to figure out on my own.

  “SO, THAT WOULD BE HOW I ended up sitting here as a member of this support group. My boyfriend Ryan showed me I’m worth being loved. He taught me to go after my dreams and that anything is possible with a little time and effort. Falling for him was worth every second of grief that ensued. He was my first true love and while he didn’t get to be my last, he opened up my eyes and my heart to another wonderful man.

  Sean has come into my world for a reason, just like Ryan. These two men have altered the course of my life as I continue to discover the woman I want to be. Our days on this Earth are numbered, so live each day in the present, cherishing the gift of life.

  Not everyone gets a second chance at love either, so I intend to keep working on myself to find my happily ever after. I can’t be one hundred percent sure if Sean is my forever, but I am definitely going to give him a fair shot. One of the hardest pills to swallow has been trying to let go of a connection I thought would last forever. Thanks to all of you, I’m able to share my story and not let it haunt me. I’ll forever be locked in my memories, but they won’t control me. They will only bring me joy, because somewhere between the pain, I’m finding happiness again.

  THE END

  Hallie and Sean’s story will continue in Part Two: After the Pain.

  FIRST AND FOREMOST, I NEED to thank all of you for taking a chance and reading Between the Pain. Without readers like you, I’d never get to fulfill this dream.

  Thank you to my family for their excitement with my new adventure in writing. My husband, who I probably drove a little nuts during this whole publishing process, I owe you the world for believing in me.

  Faith Andrews, Chloe Barlow, Livia Jamerlan, Ashley Pullo, and B.A. Wolfe: thank you for being so helpful during my transition into the Indie world. It’s wonderful to know such supportive ladies are in my corner.

  A huge thank-you goes out to all the blogs who have helped me spread the word about this book. None of this is possible without your passion for books.

  To my betas:

  Tracey, your support throughout this whole process has given me the confidence I need to keep moving forward. I can’t thank you enough for your continued friendship and for being my go to girl at all hours of the day. I’m lucky to have you.

  Tina, you’re excitement and support is more than I could have asked for. Your selfless heart continues to brighten my day each time we talk. Thank you for getting me, and laughing with me.

  Ashley, your attention to detail has made this book come together perfectly. Thank you for your guidance and kindness.

  Tabitha, thank you for going over my final draft and for falling in love with my characters. I can’t wait to work with you on future projects.

  GIA RILEY IS BOTH A Contemporary Romance novelist and book enthusiast. Between the Pain is Gia’s debut novella. Writing has been a passion of hers since high school, when she took her very first creative writing class. Gia is also an active wife and mother. When she has a quiet moment, she loves to swap her play-doh for her laptop. She believes there is nothing more satisfying than getting lost in a good book! Everyone deserves their happily ever after.

  CONTACT GIA

  Website: http://giariley.weebly.com

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  Twitter: @AuthorGiaRiley

  Email: GiaRileyBooks@gmail.com