I'm with the Band

by Melanie Brown

  Everyone was staring at us. I was never so embarrassed in my whole life. Tommy looked like he was getting ready to throw a punch at the jerk photographer. This was looking bad. I was embarrassed and Tommy was about to get arrested and everyone was looking at us.

  I jumped up and shouted, “I’m leaving!” I stormed out through the doors. I spat on the ground a few times. I couldn’t get the thought of Tommy’s tongue against mine out of my head. I don’t think I could ever spit enough times to cleanse my mouth from having had a boy’s tongue inside it.

  I heard the door slam open and Tommy shout, “Michelle! Wait! Please!”

  A girl in a group of girls walking down the sidewalk shouted, “Ohmigod! It’s Tommy Kincaid!”

  I kept walking. Behind me, but much closer came Tommy’s voice, “Please stop!”

  I stopped and stood there for a second, then spun around about the time Tommy caught up with me. I just stood there and glowered at him. The group of girls behind Tommy moved in closer, but were just standing there, watching the spectacle.

  “Michelle!” gasped Tommy as he caught his breath. “What’s wrong?”

  Oblivious to people walking around us, I shouted, “You kissed me! My God, Tommy, you practically shoved your tongue down my throat!”

  I heard one of the girls in the group say, “That lucky little bitch! And she’s complaining!”

  Looking incredulous, Tommy said, “I was just trying to hide our faces from Nick. I was trying to protect us!”

  “Bullshit! You took advantage of me!” I shouted. “You just don’t kiss someone you barely know like that!” Especially me!

  From behind us, a girl called out, “Tommy! You can take advantage of me!”

  “Yeah, Tommy!” shouted another. “Take advantage of me!”

  “I’m sorry, babe!” exclaimed Tommy. “I shouldn’t have. I know. I thought we had something between us.”

  I stood closer to him and said in a lower voice, “No, Tommy. We don’t.” I paused a second. I was mad that a boy kissed me in public like that. Now there was going to be pictures of me kissing a boy plastered all over the world. My mind raced. I had to say something girlish to him. I added, “I like you, Tommy. I really do. You’re nice, most of the time. You’re really cool to be with, but you made me feel really cheap back there.”

  A girl shouted, “Forget that bitch Tommy! You’re too good for her. Pick someone that’d appreciate you... like me!” All the girls in the group laughed.

  Before Tommy could say anything, I pointed at the group of girls and said, “There you go, Tommy. You can have any girl you want. Why pick on me?”

  Tommy looked back at the girls behind him. He turned back to me and said, “Because I don’t want any other girl, Michelle. I want to be with a girl who doesn’t care that I’m famous and rich and a movie star. I want a girl who’s kind and down-to-earth, but also a girl who has some mystery to her.” He paused for effect and added, “I want you, Michelle.”

  I had to admit, the guy’s a good actor. He seemed so sincere. And maybe he was. I was totally inexperienced at being some guy’s object of desire. All I know was that it was getting harder for me to stay pissed off at the guy.

  My tone softened and I said, “Tommy, I like you. I love hanging out with you. I just don’t think things would work out between us.”

  Tommy saw the chink in my armor. He got down on one knee and took my hand and said, “I was wrong, Michelle. Please say you forgive me.”

  I said in a low voice, “Tommy! Get up! This is embarrassing.” I tugged on his hand.

  He shook his head and said, “No. Not until you forgive me!”

  Okay, this was getting just plain weird. I dropped his hand and said, “Fine! Stay here for all I care!” I spun around and started to walk away.

  “Michelle! Don’t make stay on my knees!” Tommy shouted. “These are expensive pants and I don’t want to wear out the knees! And my foot is going to sleep.”

  I stopped and turned around and looked at Tommy, who was looking especially pitiable right there. I laughed and walked back to him. I stood in front of him and extended my hand. Quietly, I said, “I forgive you, Tommy.”

  Tommy smiled and took my hand and kissed my fingers. Then he stood up and said, “Thanks!” He brushed his pants off and said, “I’m really sorry. I won’t do that again.”

  Laughing, I said, “You’re forgiven, Tommy. You can stop apologizing.”

  “Sorry,” said Tommy.

  “You can cut that out now!” I shouted, pretending to be angry.

  Tommy shrugged and said, “Okay, I’m sorry.”

  “Tommy!” I glowered at him.

  Laughing, he said, “Okay, okay. I think we need to get back.”

  One of the girls behind Tommy shouted, “We love you, Tommy!” Tommy turned around and gave them a smile and a wave. We started walking back to the studio.

  We hadn’t taken three steps before Tommy turned and said to me, “Sorry.”

  I let out a growl of anguish and gave Tommy a slight shove and started to run. Tommy started chasing me and we ran laughing and squealing through the crowded sidewalk back to the studio.

  * * *

  “It’s about time you two got back,” Mr. Stillwell said sternly. “It costs money to keep these guys standing around.”

  Tommy said simply, “Sorry.”

  I shot him a dirty look, and he just smiled at me.

  Mr. Stillwell said, “Okay. If we can get our tampon girl to change back into that first costume, we can get started.”

  As I started to collect the pink dress, Ms. Snodgrass shouted, “Ms. Grant! Ms. Grayson needs make-up!”

  Ms. Grant fussed over me a few minutes. Finally, I got back into the pink dress and hurried over to my mark. The camera had been moved closer and positioned so that only my head and shoulders would be in the frame.

  Mr. Stillwell looked down his nose at me and said, “Thank you so much for joining us, Ms. Grayson.” He looked over at the camera and said, “Check the speed. This will be slow-motion.” Back to me he said, “Ms. Grayson, if you would please, on my signal, smile really big and move your head around some. Cue the fan.”

  I stood there with the fan blowing my hair around. On Mr. Stillwell’s signal, I smiled and moved my head around. We did this with about ten other costumes before we quit.

  Mr. Stillwell walked up to me, handed me a sheet of paper and said, “Great job, miss! You’re very natural in front of the camera. Now, if you would please, study these lines for a few minutes. It always sounds best if it doesn’t sound like you’re reading them. Shortly, we’ll go back into that little recording booth and you’ll record the voice-over.”

  I looked over the first few lines and winced. I have to say this? I re-read the first couple of lines, ‘If you’re a girl on the go like me, you don’t want anything to slow you down when...’

  I shook my head as I memorized the lines. I noticed Tommy was standing around, talking to the camera operator. After several minutes, I felt I was ready and headed for the recording booth.

  * * *

  We were finally done! When we stepped out of the studio, it was well on its way to becoming dark. Mom, Tommy and I exited the building at the same time.

  Tommy put out his hand and said, “Hey, it was great seeing you again, Michelle. Maybe we can do something next time you’re in town.” He shook my hand, turned and hurried down the sidewalk a ways, hailed a cab and was gone.

  I just stood there, watching Tommy’s cab drive away and feeling empty inside. I was hoping that maybe Tommy would invite me to another cool place for dinner.

  Mom looked at me, and then said, “What’s the matter Honey? You should be happy. You did good today.”

  I shook my head and said, “No, Mom. I blew it. I think I’ve got Tommy mad at me.”

  Mom gave me an odd look and asked, “What makes you think that?”

  I told Mom about the whole mess in Burger King. She listened with a look of concern on her
face.

  When I had finished, Mom said, “Don’t worry about it too much, Honey. It’s not like you were going to be his girlfriend anyway. It’s probably for the best anyway, since it wouldn’t be fair to Tommy. You shouldn’t have led him on like that.”

  “Mom!” I squealed. “I didn’t lead him on! It was all his idea. He’s fun to hang out with, but I don’t want to date him! Geeze! Come on, Mom. He’s a guy!”

  “Are you sure you haven’t been encouraging him?”

  Folding my arms, I said, “I’m quite sure!”

  * * *

  We were sitting on Kayla’s bed, facing each other and painting each other’s toenails and watching MTV. It had been a week since our weekend in Hollywood. I hadn’t wanted to talk about it, but Kayla finally badgered me into it.

  “You were French kissed by Tommy?” exclaimed Kayla. “It’s such a waste that you’re not a real girl and hate being kissed by a guy like Tommy.”

  I said, “You wouldn’t have liked being kissed like that. We’re just pals, and then he goes and treats me like we’re going steady or something.”

  Kayla looked thoughtful for a moment, and then said, “Maybe with any other boy. But not with Tommy.”

  I frowned and asked, “Just because he’s famous?”

  Kayla paused a moment, then said, “Yeah... mostly! And because he’s adorable!”

  We painted a few more toenails before Kayla said quietly, “I’m glad you’re a girl now.”

  I sat up straight with a jolt and said, “What? What do you mean? Why would think that?”

  “We’ve been friends a long time,” said Kayla unnecessarily. “By the time we got to the fifth grade, I was really worried that it was going to end. That you’d change to be just like all the other boys and that we couldn’t be just pals anymore. I always thought of us more as girlfriends, and I didn’t want that ruined by you asking me out or something. But you never did.

  “And now we’re sisters, kinda. I don’t do that blood sister thing with just any friend, and absolutely never with a boy. And now we’re real girlfriends! We polish each other’s toenails; do each other’s hair and make-up. I think it’s great!”

  I was stunned. I was shocked. I was dumbfounded. Before I could say anything, Kayla pointed at the television and shouted, “Look!”

  There I was on the screen in the pretty pink dress, with my voice saying, “If you’re a girl on the go like me, you don’t want to be slowed down when...” The scene changed to me in a cheerleaders uniform waving pom-poms and my voice continued, “... you’re cheering on the home team! Or...” The scene changed again to a shot of me rushing past the screen with school books, “... you’re hurrying to school. Or...” Me stepping next to Tommy in his tux and me in the satin gown, “... going to the prom! Or...” Me with Tommy in jeans and sweater, “... a walk in the park.”

  A box of Satin Teen tampons appeared on the screen being held by hands that weren’t mine while my voice said, “Satin Teen tampons by Tampax are perfect for girls on the go who need more protection than pads can provide.” The scene changed again to show me standing there smiling as Tommy comes from out of the frame to kiss me on the cheek. I looked a little surprised, then looked towards the ground, then turned, laughing to face Tommy. “... For girls on the go... like you!”

  “Michelle! You’re on TV!” squealed Kayla, “and Tommy kisses you! That’s so cool!”

  It was really weird seeing myself on television. Especially as a girl!

  Kayla continued, “I loved the look on your face when Tommy kissed you. That look says a lot!”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  Kayla grinned at me, “Do I really have to say it? You should know. After all, he kissed you.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

  Kayla rolled her eyes, “That wasn’t exactly an ‘ew yuck’ surprise look. That was an ‘oh yeah!’ surprise look. Don’t try to hide it anymore, Michelle. You enjoyed that kiss from Tommy!”

  * * *

  Chapter 10

  I was walking home from Kayla’s house in the cool spring evening. I thought about what Kayla had said about Tommy’s kiss in the commercial. Could she be right? Did I actually enjoy that kiss?

  I decided I didn’t really enjoy it, so much as I didn’t mind it as much. It wasn’t as if it was the first time Tommy had kissed me. It surprised me, but at the time, it just seemed like a cute, sweet thing for him to do. Rewind… guys don’t talk like that… it was a nice, yeah, a nice thing to do. It wouldn’t have made any difference if say, Fritz had kissed me on the cheek...

  I paused in my walking to stifle a sudden urge to hurl. Okay, maybe it would be a little different. I decided to just stop thinking about it as it seemed like I was only confirming what Kayla said. It happened, it doesn’t mean anything and it’s over. Period. Gah! Don’t say the P word!

  As I entered the house, I headed straight for my room to change into something… well, more comfortable. I grabbed a t-shirt from the drawer. I almost put it back because it was one of the t-shirts Brooklyn had bought me, and it was a bright pink. I shrugged and decided it didn’t really matter. I kicked off my shoes and socks, put on a pair of sweat pants and walked back to the living room to finish my homework.

  I put my books down on the coffee table in front of the television set. Mom had the TV on some show, but she wasn’t in the room at the moment, and I didn’t plan to pay any attention to it. I sat on the floor with my feet under the coffee table.

  As I started to do my homework, several strands of stray hairs fell in front of my face. Mom’s sewing kit was on the couch behind me, so I pulled out a few inches of red yarn. I then loosely tied my hair up in the back with the yarn.

  Mom entered the room from the kitchen and said, “Oh good, you’re back.” Then she added, “Shouldn’t you have done your homework before going over to Kayla’s?”

  “I’ll be done before ten. I promise.”

  Mom just stood there, looking at me funny for the longest time. She finally said, “How did you know how to tie your hair up like that?”

  I shrugged and said, “It’s no big deal, Mom. Kayla’s been showing me some quick things I can do with my hair.”

  “Is that what you’ve been doing -- stuff like nails and hair -- over at Kayla’s the past few days?”

  “Sure Mom. Is there a problem?”

  Mom shook her head and said, “Oh, no. That’s good, actually. Naturally, I couldn’t teach you those things when you were growing up. I’m just surprised you’re now spending so much time over there. You used to play with her a lot when you two were little, but for the last few years, you seemed to have grown apart.”

  I shrugged again and said, “I dunno. I guess we just decided we liked hanging out together again.”

  Mom smiled and said, “That’s great. That’s great...” She looked down at my feet and continued, “Love your toenails!”

  I wiggled my toes and said, “Thanks!” Mom smiled and left the room, and I returned to my homework.

  I was just finishing my homework when John returned from his job at Taco Bell. He called out as he slammed the front door, “Mom! I’m home!” He glanced at me sitting on the floor, and then did a double-take.

  “Geez! I thought there was a girl sitting there!” he said with a trace of disgust in his voice.

  “Gee thanks, John,” I said without looking up.

  “Dude! Seriously!” He lightly kicked one of my feet. “Look at your toes, man! What’s up with that? And your hair, and... “ He paused a moment, and then continued, “And what’s with that t-shirt!”

  “What about it?” I asked, finally looking at him.

  “Why would you wear a shirt that says that?” John said, pointing at me.

  “What does it say? I didn’t look at it.” I said as I tried to lift the front of the shirt up to where I could try to read it upside down. I gave John a sheepish look and read it aloud, “Boys are Stupid.”

  I sta
rted to put my school stuff away and said, “Sorry, man. I didn’t even notice that. Still, you have to admit that sometimes it’s true.”

  John scowled and said, “No, I don’t think so!”

  Suddenly, the screen on the television flickered and I called out excitedly, “Mom! Mom! Come here quick! My commercial!”

  John turned around and Mom rushed in from the kitchen. There I was, standing with the solid white background, wearing the pink dress. We all watched in silence as the thirty second spot played.

  When it was over, Mom said, “That was really great, Honey!”

  John just stood there, looking horrified.

  “What do you think, John?” I asked. “Your little brother is on TV!”

  John’s face darkened as he said, “Two things... and they both piss me off! One, I didn’t see my brother anywhere on TV. Second, you were a last minute addition to the band, and against my better judgment. And now, ‘Michelle’ has been to Hollywood parties, been talked about in magazines and is now on TV. The band has been little more than a footnote to your escapades with... with your... boyfriend!”

  I stood up quickly, fists clinched and yelled, “You’re not being fair, John! Wha... what do you think I’ve been doing all this girl shit for, huh!? What?!” I poked my finger into a startled John’s chest and continued, “You! You ungrateful son of a bitch!” My voice was climbing an octave, which I think lessened the effect.

  I tried to fight them back, but tears welled up as I continued, “Do you think for one minute I want to be there on TV in front of millions of people to sell tampons? Tampons, for God’s sake! And, and, and... you got to spend all that time in the studio, your life’s dream, focusing on your music, making your dream happen. The only things I got to do were buy clothes and fuss with my hair and make-up! Woo hoo!”

  Taken aback by my outburst, but undeterred, John said, “That’s not completely true! You got to go to a big Hollywood party and fun stuff like that. I didn’t get to do anything fun. I worked, dammit! We all worked, while you played.” Switching to a mocking voice and gesturing with his hands, John continued, “You got your hair done, and you went on a shopping spree, and you had a zillion pictures taken of you and you shot a TV commercial. Oh, boo hoo, Mike! Me and the guys worked our asses off while you were on dates with your boyfriend.”