To Make You Feel My Love

by Tina Rose

  “Oh honey, as your momma, it is my God given right to wait on you hand and foot. And with that leg of yours,” she motioned toward his leg wrapped nice and neat in his new brace, “you need an extra foot,” she teased.

  “Thanks Momma,” he chuckled.

  “Well, nice to see that smile again. I was beginning to think it was permanently erased.”

  “I’m just worried about work, Momma. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

  “Now baby, that dog just won’t hunt.”

  “Excuse me?” Logan looked at his mother like she had just grown two heads as she handed him his glass of sweet tea.

  “I said, that dog….” Logan cut her off.

  “I heard what you said Momma, I’m wondering what you meant behind it.”

  “Isn’t it as clear as the nose on my face?” she smiled.

  “No ma’am, I don’t see any clarity in your statement at all,” he laughed.

  “Darlin’, I gave birth to you. And even though you may have been gone for the last fifteen years, I still know my boy.” Patting him on the back, she continued. “You’ve been moping around this house for two weeks now. I’ve seen your love sick puppy face before.”

  “You’ve been talking to Dusty’s momma,” he shook his head. “I know you don’t believe a word that comes from that boy’s mouth, now do you Momma?”

  “Logan, Lutrelle Richards is a God fearing woman. She would not spread idle gossip.” She shook her head as she tsked him.

  “No, but Dusty Richards would if it would save his own skin.”

  “So, you didn’t fall hard for a pretty little nurse on your hiatus from work? And that’s not how you got your leg hurt again?” she asked with a wondering smile.

  “Oh dear lord!” he exclaimed. “I’m going to kill Dusty. Momma, do not listen to anything else Miss Lutrelle tells you. He is just trying to get her off his trail.”

  “Why? Did Dusty finally meet a woman as crazy as he is?” she sat down next to him waiting excitedly to hear his answer.

  “Oh no you don’t! I am not getting in the middle of that one,” he laughed.

  “Relax. He’s already told his mama about the new lady in his life. What I want to know is why your mama hasn’t heard about yours.”

  “There’s nothing to tell, Momma, really.” Looking off in the distance, he thought about how he left his beautiful Alana. Breaking the promise he made to her and to himself, he knew he had broken her heart. Even without Shelby Lynn’s malicious scheme, it was over between them. Oh, she had purged herself of her sins all the way home. Sobbing. As she explained to him how she had slipped the key to Alana’s room from Dusty while he jumped in the shower, after she overheard the conversation he had with Alana on the phone. Then, she had filled a condom with conditioner and snuck into her apartment, leaving all the incriminating evidence she thought she would need to make sure Alana would never forgive him. Well played, it worked. He had picked up the phone a hundred times to call her and explain it to her, only to stop himself. Even if she forgave him, what did he have to offer her now? Nothing.

  His mother’s words broke through his thoughts as she gently touched his hand. “Honey, look at me. I know your daddy hasn’t exactly been a good example to show you what love is all about. He’s a hard headed man, with a stubborn streak as deep and wide as the Jordan River,” she smiled as if reliving some fond memories. “But he loves the only way he knows how. Now you on the other hand, you’re something entirely different.”

  Logan smiled at his mother’s sweet face, with eyes the same color as his, and crinkled at the corners as she lovingly smiled at him. She had never been an extremely thin woman, and often described herself as plus sized. How many times had he heard her say if she didn’t like her own cooking so much, she wouldn’t have to worry about her waistline? With her natural gray hair to her shoulders, people often told her she favored Paula Deen.

  “How is that, Momma?”

  “You’re different because you have my blood running through your veins. You’ve always tried to be like him. Why, only heaven knows,” she hooted. “But you’re not like him, Logan, you’re like me. You love with your heart, darlin’. And you’re only going to give your heart away once. So, if you gave your heart away to this girl, you’re not going to get it back baby. My best advice,” she rose from her seat, and opened the squeaky screen door leading in to the house, “go get the girl that holds your heart. That’s the only way you’ll get it back.”

  Maybe Ruthie Montgomery was right. It was time for Logan to regain what was his.

  CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

  “Montgomery, are you sure this is what you want?” His lieutenant asked.

  “Yes sir. I’ve spent too much time in the field to sit at a desk now,” Logan replied.

  “Alright son, I’ll take care of everything, and be in touch. Let me know if you need anything.”

  “Thank you, Lieutenant, will do.” Logan walked away from his lieutenant’s office with a feeling of purpose for the first time in weeks. He was getting his life back, and not the one dedicated to the military. Logan breathed in the fresh air as the sun hit his face, and he felt more alive than he had in years. His moment of clarity was interrupted by the sound of a honking horn, as Dusty pulled up to pick him up.

  “Damn, son. Take your time, it’s not like you got some dumbass sitting out in the heat waiting for you or anything.” Dusty shook his head in disgust.

  “Shut up, man. You volunteered for this mission, remember. I was perfectly fine driving myself,” Logan tossed back.

  “Yeah, and have that on my conscience with everything else? No thank you.”

  Logan shook his head, and looked at Dusty. “What are you rambling on about now?”

  “It’s bad enough my stupid sister is the reason you’ve been dragging your sorry ass around here like you’re a damn zombie or something. I’m not gonna be responsible for you getting in another accident ‘cause of that bum leg of yours,” nodding toward Logan’s leg in a brace.

  “A zombie?” Logan asked dryly.

  “Yeah, you know, not dead, but not alive either? A zombie, man”

  “You’re ridiculous, you know that right. Besides, it’s not your fault your sister is delusional.”

  “It kinda is. I never set her straight, I just told her you were off limits. So, all I did was tie a steak around your neck,” he laughed.

  “Yeah, she never took no very well, did she?”

  “Nope. So I kinda set you up.” Dusty shook his head.

  “You still shouldn’t blame yourself. It’s over. I’ve moved on, you should too.”

  “You’ve moved on? Really?” Dusty asked, amused.

  “Well, I’m trying. She really didn’t leave me much of a choice,” Logan said, staring out the window.

  “I’m going down to visit Becky this weekend. You wanna come with me?” Dusty asked cautiously.

  “Becky huh?” he chuckled. “You’re kinda sweet on her. Never thought I’d see the day.”

  “Whatever, you’re an ass!”

  “What?” Logan shrugged.

  “I like her. We have fun together. She don’t judge me and she’s not looking for anything serious.”

  Dusty hadn’t been serious with anyone since they were in high school and Donna Jo Baker broke his heart before prom. They had dated since their freshman year, but she broke it off with him the night before junior prom. Swearing he’d never fall in love again, this was the closest Logan had seen him come since then.

  “Anyways, don’t avoid the question. You wanna come or not?” Dusty asked.

  “I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet or not, buddy. I don’t know if she’s ready to see me yet or not.”

  “Why the hell not? You know she’s
going to forgive you. You’ve got a plan in action. It’s time to get your woman back, man.”

  “Easy for you to say. Your woman doesn’t think you let another woman into her home and cheated on her on own couch.”

  “Yeah, but once she finds out my sister is crazy, she’ll forgive you,” Dusty said with confidence.

  “I got news for you, buddy. Everyone already knows your sister is crazy.” Logan laughed.

  “Watch it. She’s still my sister,” he warned.

  “I wouldn’t be letting that cat out of the bag.”

  “Keep it up, big boy. Just keep it up.” Turning up the radio, Dusty shook his head and headed in to traffic.

  * * * * * * * *

  The bell over the door jingled as Becky entered the front office of the Beach Hotel. Motioning for her to come on in, Alana continued her conversation on the phone.

  “Yes ma’am, Mrs. Wallace, I have your reservation set for August twenty-eighth through September first. Would you like to take advantage of our airport shuttle service?” Alana smiled at her friend, as Becky shuffled through the tourist pamphlets lining the desk.

  “Yes ma’am, I’ll take care of that for you. We will see you August twenty-eighth. Thank you for choosing Paradise Beach Hotel.”

  “Hey chica, thought you might miss me, so I stopped by to check on ya. How’s that contrary uncle of yours?”

  “I have missed you.” Moving around the counter, Alana embraced Becky in a hug. “He’s doing great actually. I think his contrariness is actually helping. He’s too stubborn to give up.”

  “Having an experienced live in nurse comes in handy too,” Becky chided.

  “He’s being a good patient, surprisingly. He hasn’t fought me on anything except over doing it. He wants to be here every day.”

  “I don’t know why that would surprise you. How is Penny holding up?”

  “She’s doing great. They love each other so much. It’s the kind of love people only dream of,” Alana smiled dreamily.

  “Yeah, not a lot of people stick it out that many years. Hey, by the way, Dusty is coming in this weekend. You’re going out with us for some overdue fun.”

  Alana’s breathe hitched, thinking about the possibility of learning news of Logan. Despite the fact that what he did was unforgivable, she missed him so much.

  “Well, y’all sure are getting serious,” she teased.

  “Oh, I don’t know about serious. But, we have fun together.”

  “Come on, it’s only been a few weeks, and he’s already coming back to see you? Knowing you and Dusty, that sounds pretty serious to me.”

  “We’ll see how it goes. So, how ‘bout it? You coming out with us?” she asked. “We’ve finally talked Carter into performing at Silver Spurs in front of a music producer.”

  “Shelby Lynn isn’t coming is she? I swear if I never lay eyes on her again, it will be too soon,” Alana asked in disgust.

  “Oh, I don’t think so. Dusty is pretty pissed at her for her stupid stunt she pulled while she was here.”

  “Stunt?”

  “Yeah, with Logan,” Becky answered.

  “I wouldn’t call it a stunt, Becky. Besides, it takes two to tango. She wasn’t alone. Someone had to let her in.”

  “Not necessarily, hon,”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Well, apparently Shelby Lynn broke down confessing all her sins. After eavesdropping on your and Dusty’s conversation about Logan being out, she grabbed the key to your place while Dusty was in the shower.”

  Shocked, Alana tried to comprehend what she was hearing. “Well, he was still alert enough to use a condom,” she tried to counter.

  “Nope. She put some conditioner in a condom. Left all the incriminating evidence she could to save Logan from the heartache you were about to put him through.”

  “What? Me? She is insane!” Alana scoffed.

  “Yep, she is,” Becky said, swirling her finger by her head. “Crazy as a loon.”

  “And she just broke down to Dusty and told him all of this? Does Logan know?”

  “Actually, she broke down to Logan on the drive home. Logan told Dusty. He hasn’t spoken to her outside of work since then. He says he loves his sister, but if they didn’t work together at their parent’s farm, he wouldn’t speak to her at all,” she shrugged.

  Hurt hit Alana all over again. He had known all these weeks, and hadn’t even called to try to explain to her, to fight for them? Pain radiated through her as she thought about all she assumed she meant to him, it was all a lie. She was never worth the fight.

  “So, Logan’s known all this time?” she whispered.

  “Guess so. Are you alright? You look pale, you need to sit down.” Putting her arms around Alana’s shoulders, Becky helped her to sit in the chair behind the counter.

  “I’ll be fine. I just can’t believe he’s known all this time and didn’t even try to tell me.” Angry tears pierced her eyes, as she tried to hold them back. “Did I mean that little to him?”

  “Oh no, honey, no!” Becky consoled. “He probably didn’t think you’d believe him. You told him to leave, and you wanted nothing else to do with him.”

  “I know. But it still pisses me off that he thought so little of me, of us.” Shaking her head, she stood to give Becky another hug. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’ll meet you guys at Silver Spurs tomorrow night.”

  * * * * * * * *

  Silver Spurs was the local country western line dancing bar. With three levels of wooden dance floors, pool tables and a mechanical bull, it was a favorite with the beach natives. Becky’s cousin, Carter Dawson, had pulled in a packed house. It was no wonder, Becky’s family was huge, spreading from Freeport, Mississippi to Paradise Beach, Florida.

  Making her way through the crowd, Alana found Becky and Dusty in a reserved area, attached at the lips, of course.

  “Hey guys. Wow, packed house. Carter must be happy,” Alana said while pulling up a stool to the high top table. Careful not to let her skirt slide too far up her thighs, she tugged it down as she climbed to sit on the stool. Thinking back now, maybe a linen skirt and cowboy boots may not have been the best choice.

  “Sup,” Dusty nodded with a smile.

  “Oh, you know Carter. He doesn’t care if he’s singing for five or five hundred,” Becky laughed.

  “The producer is gonna love him, no doubt about that,” Alana said before she ordered her drink from the waitress.

  “Yeah, he brought some other suits with him too. Whatever they do,” she snorted.

  “You’re being awfully quiet over there Dustin should I be worried?” Alana playfully asked.

  “Dustin? Darlin’, you got me confused with one of those suits over there,” he nodded toward a table close to the large stage.

  “It’s good to see you too. Dusty,” she laughed.

  “I know. It’s hard not to miss me, baby,” Dusty said, grinning. Making eye contact with Becky as something behind Alana caught his eye, she didn’t need to turn to look, she felt him. As she slowly turned to see Logan walking her way, heat climbed the back of her neck.

  “No, uh-uh. Not doing this here. Becky, really?” she pleaded with her friend as she rose from the stool.

  “I didn’t know he was coming, Alana. I only found out when they got here,” Becky grabbed Alana’s hand and squeezed, silently begging her to stay. “Please don’t leave.”

  “Dammit!” she cursed. “Tell Carter I hope he rocks it tonight,” she turned to walk away, but Logan blocked her way. Feeling the warmth from his body from where he stood, her breath caught.

  “Alana,” he began.

  “No! Stop,” holding up her hand to stop him, she shook her head. “I’m not
doing this here Logan. It wasn’t fair for you guys to ambush me,” she looked to all her friends. “I’m leaving.”

  “Will you please just listen to me?” Logan begged.

  “No, I won’t, Logan. You’ve had weeks to call me to explain, Logan, Weeks!” she stressed. “Now, Move. Out. Of. My. Way,” she ground out.

  “Would you have listened to me, Alana?”

  “I guess we’ll never know.” She sidestepped him to move around him, but he grabbed her arm.

  “It wasn’t what you think. Please hear me out. I’ve missed you.” Waiting, he searched her eyes.

  Sighing deeply, she said, “Let’s go outside where it’s somewhat private.”

  “Thank you,” he squeezed her arm.

  “Don’t thank me yet,” she mumbled.

  They made their way outside, walking to the end of the building and turning the corner for some privacy.

  “Ok Logan, let’s hear it,” she spit out.

  “God, I’ve missed you,” he smirked. “You and that smart mouth.”

  “Whatever.” She turned to walk away.

  “Okay, okay! I fucked up! Is that what you want to hear?” he declared.

  “No, Logan. It’s not what I want to hear. I want to hear the truth,” she yelled.

  “I did not let Shelby Lynn in, and I didn’t cheat on you.”

  “I know. She’s an insane, crazy bitch,” she said flatly.

  “You know?” he asked, confused.

  “Becky told me.”

  “Damn Dusty. Big mouth son of a bitch.”

  “What I want to know is why you didn’t call to explain yourself! Why you didn’t fight for us?” she demanded.

  “I don’t know. I picked up the phone a hundred times to call you. All I saw was the look in your eyes. I wasn’t sure you’d believe me, or even want me.” The hurt in his eyes tore at her heart. “I love you, Alana. I’ve searched my whole life for you. I didn’t give up on us, I gave up on me.”

  “What do you mean?” Now she was really confused.

  “I didn’t think you’d want me anymore. I have nothing to offer you Alana. You deserve so much more than an old soldier with a busted up leg.”