Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him

by Clair Delaney

  I immediately feel defensive. I have no confidence, so I can't take a joke, whether it’s at my expense or not, I really can't take people laughing at me.

  “Are you mocking me?” I snap, my face losing all humour.

  “No.” He laughs again, but emphasises his point by shaking his head. “I’m just shocked you knew which model it was.” He adds still chuckling hard.

  I let go of his hand, cross my arms and pout at him.

  “Amazing.” He mumbles to himself, then turns and holds his hand up to an approaching silver Jaguar, only this one is completely different to his.

  “Where’s your car?” I say feeling a little miffed that I won’t be getting a drive in it.

  “At the hotel.” He smiles.

  “Oh...” I can't help scowling.

  “You wanted the F-Type?” He says, still smiling. How does he know?

  “Which model is this?” I ask as it pulls up along-side us.

  Tristan opens the rear passenger door for me and I slip inside. The luxury leather seats immediately encase me and I’m amazed by the amount of legroom available, and it’s so cool inside; I actually shiver a little. Tristan shuts my door and I look up at the driver, feeling a little embarrassed.

  “Good morning.” I say quietly.

  “Good morning, Miss Stevens.” He knows my name, how?

  I watch Tristan walk around the other side and slip in beside me. I'm finding it hard to stop looking at him.

  “Morning Stu.” Tristan beams widely at the man behind the wheel.

  “Good Morning Sir. Shall I head to the first appointment?” He asks pleasantly.

  “Please.” Tristan replies kindly. “Seatbelt, Coral.”

  “Oh...” I quickly clip it into place just as Tristan does and we head out into traffic. “He knows my name.” I whisper a little shakily to Tristan, he smiles warmly at me.

  “I told him to expect you. This is my driver, Stuart Riley.” I look up at the rear view mirror again, Stuart nods to me.

  “How long have you known him?” I whisper not wanting to seem panicky. Trusting people is a huge issue for me. Tristan maybe sort of winning me over, but that doesn’t mean I trust others around him.

  “Coral, relax, I’ve known Stu ten years. He’s been my driver for five of those.” He whispers back.

  “Oh...ok.” I say feeling a little more relaxed. As I look down at Tristan’s legs, I see he still has plenty of room, which brings me back to my original question.

  “So what model is this?” I ask again, scanning the huge panoramic tinted glass roof that extends the full length of the car, making me feel cocooned. And I’m surprised at how private the cabin area feels. I had no idea Jaguar made cars for chauffeuring.

  “It’s an XJ premium luxury long wheel base model.” He answers.

  “It’s really nice.” I offer, feeling quite spoiled that I am been driven in complete luxury.“What engine does it have?”

  Tristan laughs loudly again.

  “What?” I bark. Why does he keep laughing at me? I already have enough self-esteem issues.

  “Nothing...” he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement.

  I huff and frown sulkily at him.

  “Hey.” Tristan reaches for my hand, the moments our skin touches I relinquish. “I’m sorry. I don't mean to laugh...I just find it so sweet and fascinating that you like cars.” He smiles down at me, then gazes out the window. “Most women don’t.” He adds, then taking me by surprise, he lifts my hand up to his lips, making his intention clear and lightly kisses my knuckles.

  I shiver from head to toe. His lips are warm and so soft, I practically melt like ice-cream into the leather – and I’m surprised at myself, I have always thought guys that do that sort of thing are corny and are literally trying to get into a woman’s knickers, but with Tristan, I can't find anything that’s corny, fake or shallow about him at all.

  I swear he’s all heart and soul.

  “So the engine?” I ask trying to keep my voice steady.

  “Not sure, Stu?”

  “Sir, this is the 3.0 litre petrol V6 supercharged model, 0-60mph in 5.7 seconds.”

  I cock one eyebrow up and smile at Tristan.“You have a thing for supercharged cars.” I chuckle.

  “I didn’t choose this.” He says. Huh?

  “Really?” I ask a little high pitched.

  Tristan shrugs. “Well I’m not the one driving it so’ – “You picked it Stu?” I say working it out by myself.

  “Yes Miss Stevens.” He says.

  “Nice choice.” I say. “And please, call me Coral, I don’t like Miss Stevens, makes me sound like a teacher.”

  “As you wish.”

  I smile at Stu, then turn to Tristan.“So you let your staff choose their cars?” I tease, feeling quite astonished that he does.

  “No.” He shakes his head to emphasise his point. “Stu was told which model I wanted. He could choose the engine, the extras all that kind of stuff.” He says waving his hand.

  “Oh.” I don’t know why, but I feel like playing him up, teasing him. “So do I get to choose?” I say, trying to keep the grin off my face.

  “No.” He snaps. “Company cars are always the same, no matter who it is.”

  Holy Shit I’m getting a car?

  “I was only joking Tristan.” I say, choking on my own words.

  “I’m not.” He says smartly. What?

  Panic is rising within me – This has got to be a joke? A wind up, surely?

  I frown back at him. “Hold on a second, are you saying I’m actually getting a car?” This is not happening!

  “Yes.” He snaps staring out of the window. Why won’t he look at me?

  “Tristan!” I scold louder than I intend to.

  “I want you to have one.” He quietly says, finally looking at me.

  “I don’t want one,” I snap back. “I have nowhere to store it. I would never use it. It’s a total waste of money! Besides, I like walking to work it helps keep me fit.” I cross my arms and glare at him, but he’s staring out of the window again – Ignoring me!

  “Tristan, I swear to god....you buy me a car and I will quit, walk out today. I’m not kidding.” I warn, my voice low and threatening.

  He finally turns to me with a look of shock plastered across his face.“You’re serious?” He breathes, his eyes wide.

  “Yes,” I hiss. “If I felt the need for a company car, I would have asked Joyce ages ago, in-fact she offered me one or the pay increase. I went for the money.” He so better not get me a car!

  “Why?” he asks.

  I close my eyes for a second trying to reign in my frustrated temper.“Ok, not that it has anything to do with you, but for me a car is just another expense eating into my wages. I got the job with Joyce when I was sixteen, I saved 70% percent of my wages every month so eventually, one day, I could buy a place of my own – which I did, two years ago. I didn’t equate a car into it.”

  “But’ – “Tristan,” I hold my hand up to stop him then continue. “I have absolutely no need for a car, so please don’t get me one. Higher my wages if you want to, I can put that away as savings to get a bigger place one day.” I say, feeling totally exasperated.

  My head is banging again. I pinch my nose and close my eyes, taking several deep calming breaths. This guy sure does know how to wind me up!

  “Guess the first appointment is cancelled Stu, onto the next.” He says.

  “Yes sir.” Stu punches something into the sat-nav.

  My mouth pops open in shock, I turn to glare at Tristan.“You were about to take me to get a car?” I squeak, feeling as though I’m about to completely lose it.

  “Coral, as my future P.A, I may need you to travel, and the location could be at any of the other offices.”

  I feel a panic attack coming on – How do I tell him that I won’t leave my comfort zone - and that zone is Brighton!

  “Tristan, if you require me to accompany you, then I will use the train.”
I say, hoping he is just testing me.

  “You’d rather use public transport than drive in a luxurious car?” He says incredulously.

  I turn in my seat to face him.“I’d rather not leave Brighton, full stop.” I snap.

  “Ah, I see.” He says.

  “I don’t think you do.” I mumble.

  Tristan’s face contorts. “I don’t want to upset you Coral, if you don’t want a car that’s fine.” He sighs.

  “No, I don’t.” I snap back, wondering if I am pushing him too far, and he’s about to sack my ass.

  Tristan turns towards me, he looks like he’s about to say something momentous, but he changes his mind and stares out of the window instead.

  I cross my arms in a huff and stare out the window too.

  We continue southeast on Eastern Road and as we reach the end of the road, Stuart turns left onto Arundel Road.

  “Where are we going?” I mumble.

  “First house viewing.” He quietly answers, still staring out the window.

  “How many are there?” I ask.

  “That depends.” Why is he being so cryptic?

  “On what?” I question glaring at him, but he keeps his eyes focused on the outside world. “You’re not going to tell me, are you?” I question.

  Tristan slowly shakes his head. Oh that is so annoying!

  “Great.” I mumble, turning to stare out the window.

  We sit in complete silence. I feel moody and withdrawn that we are arguing. Why can't this just feel like a normal, straightforward, boss and employee relationship?

  As we reach the roundabout, Stuart takes the third exit and we cruise along Roedean Road. Then he makes a right turn and we cruise onto Cliff Approach, followed by a left turn onto The Cliff.

  We are high up, and ironically, the Marina is right below us, although you can't see it. I start to feel fidgety that I’m so close to my place, and that Tristan will be so close to me; that’s if he buys anything up here. Suddenly the big trees to my right clear...I gasp aloud and stare, transfixed by the scene unfolding before me – Wow!

  The views from up here are incredible. All you can see is a wonderful, panoramic view of the sea. There’s no Marina, no houses, it’s breathtaking...I bet the sunsets and sunrises are awesome.

  We continue to cruise along The Cliff, it’s a long straight road with huge houses set back away from the road, concealed by high walls, wrought iron gates, and big trees.

  The people that live up here are rich, really, really, rich – which makes me feel very small and insignificant.

  “I’m sorry.” Tristan whispers so only I can hear.

  I turn and look at him, only to see he’s staring straight past me, transfixed as I was at the view.

  “Me too.” I offer. I feel myself calm a little and the atmosphere in the car lightens.

  Stuart stops outside a pair of large wrought iron gates. I notice a plaque on the wall that reads Seascape – I guess that’s the name of the house? I instantly like it, although, I can't actually see the house, because it’s surrounded by large oak trees, giving it maximum privacy.

  “Well, I guess we have a few minutes,” Tristan says. “Appointments not till half past.” He adds.

  “Oh...ok.” I look at my watch and see it’s only five past.

  I bite my lip wondering what we’re going to do for the next twenty minutes or so.

  “Sir.” Stuart pipes up. Tristan nods and Stuart gets out of the car, leaving the engine running so the air-conditioning stays on.

  I instantly panic. “Where’s he going?” I blurt.

  “Ciggie break.” Tristan answers.

  I relax. “Oh...” So he doesn’t mind smokers? “Do you smoke?” I ask.

  “Cigars, occasionally. You?” He asks.

  I shake my head. “I used to as a teen...” I drift off remembering trying to quit, took a while, still feel the need now and again.

  “Why did you start? Just wanted to try it?” He asks. Damn it!

  “Um...I...” I turn in my seat and look up at him, he might aswell know. “I had a lot of issues when I was...” I break off, shaking my head at myself – Who am I kidding? I still do. “When I smoked, it helped calm me down.” I add half smiling.

  “Issues?” He questions.

  I look up at him and nod, but I can't look away – those soft, round, milk chocolate eyes of his are pulling me in...

  “What kind of issues?” He asks, his head cocked to the side, his eyebrows pulled together.

  His question instantly pulls me out of it. I blink rapidly, trying to get some of my equilibrium back and stare out of the window.

  “Tristan, I’m very private, I’d rather not....’ – “Sorry that was un-called for. I guess I just want to know you’re ok.” He softly says.

  I shrug my shoulders in reply. What does he expect me to say to that? Because I am far from ok...

  “So what’s with the name Coral?” Jesus, what is this, twenty questions?

  “What’s with the name Tristan?” I ask avoiding his question.

  “You first.” He smiles.

  I shake my head at him.

  “Coral?” He’s gazing at me quizzically again.

  “What?” I snap.

  “What, you can't answer a simple question?” He snaps back. We’re arguing again?

  I can't take this – I’m too hung-over.

  “Fine!” I snap. “My asshole father gave me that name because he said my eyes were like the coral blue sea.” I hiss, my breathing erratic, my heart hammering against my chest. I hate thinking about him, about the past.

  “Hey.” Tristan reaches for my hand but I’m feeling trapped, I need to get out of the car. I pull on the door handle, but it doesn’t open, my eyes widen in horror as I turn to Tristan.

  “Let me out.” I whisper trying to calm the full scale, anger/panic attack that’s trying to break through. His face pales at my reaction. He silently reaches forward and presses a button on the centre console. I hear a loud click and launch myself out of the car, taking in a huge lung full of air.

  I hear Tristan approach.“Jesus Coral, I...” He runs his hand through his hair.

  “I’m sorry,” I say taking several deep breaths, I squint up at him. “I don’t like talking about my past.” I whimper, and lean my hands on my knees; I feel faint again.

  I feel Tristan rub his hand up and down my back trying to soothe me, but I feel even worse, the car was so cool and relaxing; out here feels so hot – and there’s still no air.

  “I think I need to get back in the car,” I tell him.

  Reaching out to me, he takes my hand and grips it tightly, then he places his other arm around my waist and gently steers me back to the car. He opens the door for me, helps me inside then quietly closes it. I lay my head back against the leather upholstery and close my eyes, I hear Tristan get back inside and shut his door.

  I instantly feel better; the cool air is helping to calm me down.“I’m really sorry,” I squeak. “No-one’s ever asked me that before, beside Gladys and well, she knows my past.” Well, some of it!

  “No, I’m sorry,” he answers huskily. “I shouldn’t have pushed, I should have seen you didn’t want to answer,” he adds.

  “You don’t know me Tristan, so how could you have seen?”

  “By being more observant,” he answers back.

  I open my eyes and look across at him. He’s deep in thought staring out the window again.

  “So, your name?” I ask. “Tristan and Isolde is my favourite romantic story you know,” I add, smiling softly at him.

  He raises his eyebrows in surprise and turns to me, a gentle smile playing across his lips. “Really?” He doesn’t believe me?

  “I don’t lie,” I tell him sternly. “Well, except that white lie I told to Joe, but I didn’t really have a choice,” I add.

  “No you didn’t.” His smile widens.

  “Your name sir?” I ask sweetly.

  “My mother, it was her favourit
e romance too, or so I was told.” He tells me.

  “Was?” I whisper and swallow hard, feeling all the colour drain out of my face.

  “Don’t look so worried,” he tells me, then leaning towards me, he reaches up and softly strokes my cheek. “I never knew her, she died giving birth to me.” I gasp. How awful!

  “Tristan, I’m so sorry.” I clasp my hand in his and squeeze it tight. Tristan smiles at me, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, then he leans back and stares out the window.“And your father?” I whisper.

  “He worked on the oil rigs, I never saw him.” He says. No Dad, just like me.

  “Do you see him now?” I ask hesitantly.

  “No, he died in an accident...Oh, twenty years ago now.” He says, glancing down at me. It doesn’t seem to have had any effect on him, but then I think if he didn’t know him, then how could it?

  “So who raised you?” I whisper.

  “My maternal grandparents,” he says, a sorrowful look appears across his face. I frown back at him. Why is he looking like that? Hmm, I wonder... I quickly do the maths in my head. Tristan’s gotta be in his thirties, maybe forties, so they must be in there eighties, nineties by now?

  “Do you have any siblings?” I ask.

  Tristan shakes his head. “You?”

  “I had a sister, she was a lot older than me; we had different fathers. She went raving one night, took an Ecstasy tab. I never saw her again.”

  Tristan squeezes my hand.“Sorry,” he whispers – and even though I know I should not say it, I do.

  “I’m not,” I spit. His eyebrows pull together. “She was vile to me,” I add.

  “How?” He questions.

  I close my eyes and lean my head back against the leather seat. “She hated me, used to bully me, no torture me more like. I was just a kid, I couldn’t defend myself.” I tell him, opening my eyes I glance across at him.

  Tristan is silently contemplating something. Maybe he thinks I’m an evil bitch for saying that? I sigh inwardly. Maybe I am?

  “Ok, that was harsh,” I sigh. “Of course I didn’t want her dead, I just’ – “Wanted her to leave you alone.” He interrupts, finishing my sentence for me.