I nod again,smiling shyly at him. I still can't believe that he does, but maybe, over time, I’ll come to believe it.
“So this is for me?” I say lifting the bottle in my hand.
He nods solemnly at me – He definitely needs time!
“It’s smells gorgeous,” I say,then I turn the bottle in my hand so I can read what it says.
‘Champneys Spa Indulgence, Oriental Opulence Bubble Heaven’…ooh, I already like it – I turn the bottle around and read the description.
‘Inspired by traditional oriental recipes this wonderfully indulgent bubble heaven leaves your skin feeling soft and pampered. The oriental blend of aromatic ylang ylang, calming sandalwood and exotic patchouli essential oils encourage feelings of wellbeing and tranquility’
My heart melts, he really does care.But why, I don’t know?
“Oh Tristan,” I croak. “That’s so sweet, thank you baby.”
He leans down to me and kisses the tip of my nose. “You,” he kisses my cheek. “Are,” he kisses my forehead. “Very,” and lastly he kisses my lips.“Welcome.”
I throw my arms around him and squeeze him tight. I have no words. At least none that would explain the depth of feeling I have for this man, I am so in love with him. I would do anything for him, anything, lay my life down for his.
“Hurry baby, your bath is nearly ready,” he softly says.
“Ok,” I squeak and pad over to the mirror. Oh my god!
I cringe with embarrassment; I cannot believe Tristan has seen me like this. Ugh!
My make-up is all gone, well apart from the smudged mascara, and I have red cheeks and bloodshot eyes. I quickly cleanse my face, removing all traces of make-up,clip my hair up on top of my head, then turn to Tristan, who is patiently waiting for me.
“May I?” He asks.
“What?” I say.
Tristan chuckles at me. “You still have my shirt on. I meant, may I undress you?” he says.
“Oh!” I smile up at him and nod, feeling like a complete idiot.
Tristan steps forward and starts unbuttoning his shirt, when he’s done, he slowly pulls the shirt across my shoulders and lets it fall to the floor, then he bends down and gently peels my knickers off me. Standing back up he smiles at me, then his eyebrows pinch together, he swallows hard, then hold his hand out to me.
I place my hand in his open palm, and he gently guides me over to the bath. As I step into the warm water, I find it’s the perfect temperature, he keeps hold of my hand as I slowly sink down into the bath.
I look up at Tristan and smile broadly at him.“Thank you baby,” I softly say. Releasing my hand, Tristan leans down and kisses me, then turns to walk away.“Don't leave me!” I squeak. “I don't want to be alone right now,” I whimper.
“Ok,” he says, turning to take my outstretched hand and squeezing it tightly. “Want me to join you?” he asks, his voice low.
“Yes,” I whisper. “If you don’t mind, I can see you’ve already showered.”
Tristan smiles at me, but I can tell it’s forced. I pull my legs up and wrap my arms around them as I watch the strip show…Hmmm yummy!
“Don’t look at me like that Coral,” he scolds, slipping in behind me.
“Like what?” I breathe, turning to look at him.
“Now you are being obtuse,” he says, frowning down at me.
“Your kind of hard not to look at you know,” I huff, turning away from him. I guess he’s not ready for anything like that.
“Baby, I want you too,” he whispers huskily in my ear. “I just want you to eat first, ok?”Oh!
I swallow hard.“Ok,” I whisper back, my belly clenching.
“Would you like a massage?” he asks, kissing my hair, damp from the steam.
“If you don't mind,” I softly say and turn my head to look up at him.
He leans forward and softly kisses my forehead. Then his hands begin their tender massage across my shoulders,up and down my neck.
As I lay my head against his broad chest, and let the warm water relax my tense muscles, I can't help thinking about all that’s gone on tonight. I still can't believe that he knows and he’s still here. Even after telling him about not being able to conceive, he’s still here.
What did I ever do to deserve this?
“I know it’s trivial,” Tristan says interrupting my musing. “But how did your week go? Did you enjoy spending time with Susannah?” Damn it!
I purse my lips together, trying to prevent any brain to mouth blurting.“Um, sure yeah, it was ok,” I say lightly.
“Then why am I not convinced?” Tristan says, his hands stilling against my neck. I was enjoying that massage!
“Tristan,” I moan petulantly. “I don't want to be talking about work right now. It’s not really important in the scheme of things,” I say hoping to placate him.
Tristan is silent for a moment – Fuck!
Then he kisses my hair and continues massaging me – Phew!
“You’re right baby, not tonight,” he softly says.
I sigh inwardly, glad for that conversation to be over. If he knew what I was up to, if he knew what Susannah has done…I close my eyes and push the anger away.
“Ok, well how about what you’re going to do with the money you’ve been given. Any plans?” Tristan asks, his voice sounding all deep and husky – My insides swim with desire.
“No, I'm still thinking about it,” I say my mouth dry.
“Coral.” Tristan pulls me to the side so we can look at one another. “You still want to marry me?” He asks, his expression stark.
“Yes,” I gush, even though I’ve been so confused about it, but since tonight…and telling Tristan…I feel different about it. I really want this. I want him, always.
“Sure?” He questions.Tristan you have no idea how much I do!
I nod, grinning like a fool.
“Then will you move in with me?” he asks nervously.
“Um...yeah, I suppose so...I…I haven’t really thought about it,” I say.
“You haven’t?” He asks, a little surprised. Shit!
“Not really, I’ve had a very busy week and not much sleep and...” I gasp aloud – I haven’t given Tristan his presents!
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his hands frozen in place.
I can't believe I’ve forgotten about it, but then again, with what’s gone on…I decide later, when I’m done in the bath, I can give him them then.
“Nothing, I just remembered something. Why do you ask anyway?” I say, trying to change the subject.
Tristan sighs heavily.“Do you want to move in with me Coral?” he asks in a firmer tone.
I close my eyes and ask myself the same question – A clear resounding yes echoes around my head.“Yes, yes Tristan I do.” Leaning up, I kiss his lips.
“What do you want to do about your studio?” he asks.
“I’m not sure, keep it I think,” I muse.
Tristan looks heartbroken, but he’s trying to hide it. Shit!
“I know it sounds strange but having somewhere that’s just for me, that I can go to whenever I want’ – “You want an escape,” he interrupts, his voice low, his eyes boring into mine.
Hit the nail on the head, again! How does he keep doing that?
“You feel like you’d be trapped, living here with me?” He adds.
My mouth pops open.I wonder if that’s come from George?
“I...Tristan, I love you, more than...” I sigh heavily. “It’s not you, it’s me, and it’s not necessarily that I’m escaping,” I say, then shake my head. I’m not explaining myself very well.
“I guess it’s more...I don’t know…that it’s just for me. A place where I can just sit and be still, do my meditating and yoga, and try to sort out what’s going on in my head, and I have Bob too. I feel like he’s my responsibility now. Besides, you know what they say ‘absence makes the heart grow stronger’ right?” I look up at Tristan feeling slightly guilty.
He smiles down at me, but it’s off.Which begs the question, would I like it, if the person marrying me wanted to keep their own place, and the answer is no,I don’t think I would.
I turn back around and stare at our naked feet.
“But I’ll sell it if it makes you unhappy,” I add.“I don’t want to hurt you Tristan, and I don’t want you to think that I love you any less because I want to keep it...” I slap my hand to my forehead. “I’m not really making much sense am I?” I shake my head in frustration.
“Coral, nobody thinks straight when they’re tired,” Tristan whispers into my ear. “Besides, I think it’s a good idea to keep your place,” he adds.
I whip my head round. “You do?” I squeak.
“Yes,” he says. “It’s an excellent investment, you could make a killing over the summer renting it out,” he adds.
“Really?” I squeak again.
“Yes.” He chuckles wrapping his arms tightly around me.
I close my eyes and surrender to the feeling. Hmm…Investment…renting it out, I’ve never thought about that!
“You are so understanding, Tristan.” I whisper. “That’s one of the many things I love about you,” I add.
Tristan squeezes me even tighter and kisses my temple.“Made for each other,” he whispers.
“Yeah...I think we are,” I whisper back.
We sit quietly, both deep in thought...
After a while, the water starts to cool, so of course I shiver.“Come on, out you get. You need food,” Tristan firmly states –He’s not to be argued with.
“No, I want to stay in here a little longer,” I argue – Because I can.
“Coral, your body temperature is dropping because you haven’t eaten,” he states, running his hand through his hair, then he gently pushes me forwardand steps out of the bath.
“What’s wrong?” I whisper.
“I'm going to get dressed, then I'm going downstairs to order a Chinese. If you want a say in what to order, I suggest you get out the bath and meet me downstairs,” he says sharply.
Ok, maybe I shouldn’t be winding him up right now.
“I don't mind what you order Tristan,” I humbly answer.
He turns and glares at me –Boy he’s moody tonight!
“But I’m getting out,” I add.
Tristan storms off into the bedroom, I lay my head back against the bath. Why am I trying to wind him up when he’s been so good to me, so understanding, so sweet; he deserves better.
Feeling awful for being argumentative, I get out the bath, wrap a towel around me and walk into the bedroom to make amends, only when I get there, he’s already gone – Damn it!
Stomping back into the bathroom I cream my face, and put on a little make-up to try and hide my red, puffy eyes. My skin feels really soft from the bath cream, so I don’t bother creaming. Hanging my towel up, I pad back into the bedroom.
I quickly dress in my sweats and a vest-top, unclip my hair, run my fingers through it, and skip down the stairs to find Tristan, thinking if I give him his presents, he may cheer up.I wonder if he’ll like them? – I push the thought away, I’m sure he will.
Walking into the kitchen, I see Tristan opening a bottle of wine, I feel shy again and I don’t know why.“Hi,” I smile shyly.
Tristan walks over to me, pulls me up against the length of his body and tenderly kisses me.“Hi.” He smiles down at me. “I’ve ordered the Chinese,” he adds.
“You’re hungry,” I say, realising Tristan probably hasn’t eaten since lunchtime.
“Very,” he says, smiling down at me. Releasing me, he walks back into kitchen.“Want some wine?” he asks smiling back at me, his dimples deepening.
“Yes please.” I look around me and see Tristan’s present propped up against the wall.Silently walking over to it, I pick it up and start walking, awkwardly, back into the kitchen.
Tristanglances up at me, he looks mad.“Coral!” He scolds. “You could hurt yourself,” he admonishes, rushing over to me and taking the weight of the present.
“It’s for you,” I softly tell him.
“Me?” he smiles. “You’ve got me a present?” he says a little shyly.
“Yes,” I giggle. “I’ll pour the wine, you open them up.”
“Ok.” He smiles shyly at me again, making my heart flutter, so I kiss him lightly on the lips. Tristan picks the present up, and follows me as I walk back into the kitchen, then he stops in front of the breakfast bar, by the table.
I really hope he likes them. I wasn’t sure when I walked into that photography shop that they’d be able to do what I wanted. The black and white photo of Tristan’s folks is really old, but they scanned the image, sharpened it up, and now it’s blown up and framed, it looks really good.Just like the one of Tristan with his folks, and the one that I picked of the two of us.
I watch him open the top of the large flat box and peek inside. I pour a little wine into our glasses, trying to watch what I’m doing, and watch Tristan at the same time is a trying feat.
Reaching his hand inside, he pulls the first one out. I'm glad to see he’s picked the one of his Grandparents on their own first. Hishead whips round to me, and he just stares at me, open mouthed – Shit!
I stop what I’m doing, and stare back at him. I don’t think he likes it. Double crap!
“Coral!” he gasps, swallowing hard. “When did you’ – “I stole the photos out of your wallet, sorry,” I whisper feeling a little guilty. “Don’t worry though, the originals are upstairs, they’re safe. I made sure I took good care of them,” I add.
“I...I don't mind that you did that,” he answers his eyes wide with surprise, his arms stretched out as he holds the frame out in front of him.“They look great,” he adds, his cheeks flushing.
I walk over as quietly as I can, I don't want to spoil the moment for him, and place our glasses of wine down. After a while, Tristan turns to me with bloodshot eyes, his cheeks have flushed and I think he’s trying to choke back tears.
“Tristan!” I gasp, feeling tears bubble to the surface for him.
He opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out, instead,he swallows hard, quickly turns so he has his back to me, and places the frame down.I don’t think he wants me to see him upset. Then I notice his body start to shake, I think he’s actually crying. Tristan!
Without a word, I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his front, squeezing him tight. He places his hands on top of mine, and lets out a couple of sobs – Oh no! I shouldn’t have done this now!
“Tristan…I’m so sorry.” I say, kissing his back several times.
He chokes out another couple of loud sobs, I squeeze him tighter. “I miss them…” He manages to choke out, gripping my arms tightly.
“I know baby, I know…” I want to take his pain away, I hate that he’s going through this, my heart constricts for him, but I don’t move, because I think he needs this, so I hold him for the longest time.
After a while, he seems to gather himself together again. He squeezes my hand, sniffs once, then slowly turns to face me, he takes a deep breath and slowly blows it out.“I’m sorry,” he whispers, placing his hand on my cheek.
I instantly think of George’s words – ‘crying is a release’ – I shake my head at him, and reaching up, I place my hands on his cheeks. “Tristan, I’ll always be here for you, to comfort you. You know that right?”
His jaw clenches. “Yes,” he whispers.
“Then whatever you do, do not be sorry. You ever feel like crying and letting it all out, then please…come to me, I’ll comfort you, hold your hand…whatever you need,” I whisper. “You don’t have to be strong all the time either.” I add.
He squeezes his eyes shut for a second, when he opens them, they are blazing brightly. “God I love you,” he breathes, as he picks me up, and wraps his arms tightly around me, burying his face in my neck.“T-thank you Coral,” he chokes out.
“Here for you, always,” I whisper asI wrap my a
rms around his shoulders, and hug him tightly.
We stay like that for what seems like a long time. I finally come to the startling realization that through losing his folks, and now grieving for them, he’s had no-one to comfort him, no-one to hold him, no-one to kiss it better and make him feel safe, loved, cherished, which just makes me love him even more, and yet again, I fall in love, all over again, for this brilliant, sweet, heartbroken man.
Tristan finally lifts his head. I take his face in my hands and kiss his lips lightly, as I gaze down at his choked up expression. “You ok?” I softly ask, as I stroke his cheek.
“Yeah,” he breathes. “I just wasn’t expecting that.”Putting me down, he turns us around so we are both looking at their smiling faces. Then he wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses my temple.
“There’s more in there,” I tell him, but he doesn’t move, he just squeezes me tighter around the shoulders. I step forward, squeeze his hand, then walking over, I pull out the one of Tristan with his folks.“I’m sorry Tristan. I....I didn’t think it would upset you,” I add guiltily.
Pulling another chair out, I place that photo against it, then I do the same with the one of Tristan and I. Seeing it again, I'm glad I chose the one where Tristan and I are facing one another and smiling broadly, the look on our faces says it all.When I turn around, I see him run his hand through his hair, messing it up a little – I like that!
“Coral...I...I’m amazed, thank you baby,” he says, his cheeks flushing. I think he’s shocked.
I walk over to him, wrap my arms around him, and just hold him again.
He wraps his arms around my shoulders, I feel him kiss my hair.“You smell so good,” he breathes.
“Ditto,” I tell him back, smiling as I do.“Are you ok?” I ask, hesitantly looking up at him.
“Yeah…just a little shocked, but I love them. I can't believe you got this done for me,” he says, surprising me.
I swallow hard – Why would he say that?
“Where are we going to put them?” he asks, interrupting that thought.
“Wherever you want,” I tell him. “Here, one of your offices, or your other homes. It’s up to you,” I add.
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 75