Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him

by Clair Delaney

  I cock one eyebrow up at him. “When you say ‘some money’?”

  Tristan loses the grin. “Does is matter how much?” He looks wary now, and so he damn well should be.

  “Yes it does! How much Tristan?” I balk.

  He sighs again and looks down at the bed. “Twenty five thousand.” Holy fuck!

  I nod my head several times. I know what to do, but I’m not going to tell him. I’ll simply transfer the money back into his account tomorrow, I can't help the chuckle that escapes.

  “Coral, I want you to have it. I don’t want it back!” He says. How the hell does he read my mind like that! It’s spooky! – I completely ignore him. “I mean it!” He states.

  “Fine!” I say. I’m still transferring it back!

  He looks angry for a second, then shakes his head and smiles his wide smile at me. “God you know how to wind me up,” he says. “But I’m so happy you’re here.”

  I smile back at him. “So I guess I’ve officially moved in with you?”

  “Yep,” he says, grinning widely.

  “Happy?” I ask, remembering Tristan teasing me when he told me he’d bought this place, and how happy he would be when I’d moved in.

  “Yes, very,” he says. “You?”

  “I remember you teasing me about moving in,” I say. “And yes, I am over the moon to be here, because you’re here.”

  Tristan smiles, then quickly frowns. “Are you really happy about having house guests living with us? Would you rather it be just the two of us?”

  “I’m happy,” I say. “Don’t change anything.”

  “Ok.” He grins. “Any other questions?”

  “Yes, I have no job Tristan. What am I going to do?” I ask, feeling worried.

  “Coral, you really shouldn’t be worrying about that at the moment, your main priority is to heal, and when you’re ready, we’ll sort it.”

  I look up at him, feeling apprehensive about what he’s saying, I mean I know I need to rest, to recover, but there’s only so many days I can do like that, then I need something, a project, anything to keep my mind busy.

  “Tristan, I can't hang around not doing anything’ – “Well you could always come back to Chester House?” He reluctantly suggests. “When you’re better,” he quickly adds.

  “Maybe…I don’t know,” I muse. “But if I’m not there and Susannah is…locked away, who’s working there?”

  “Actually Karen is here at the moment, and Joyce is there too, just finishing off until I get back.”

  “Oh, ok.” I wanted to meet Karen, I wonder if I will?

  “Any other questions?” He asks again.

  “Why?” I question curiously.

  “Because I have questions, but I want you to finish first.” He gazes down at me, patiently waiting.

  “Um…well there is one more thing. But promise me you won’t get mad?” I quietly say.

  “Why would I get mad?” he says. I cock one eyebrow up at him. “Ok, I won’t get mad.” He laughs.

  “Well, it’s about Susannah,” I say.

  Tristan’s face falls and his eyes slowly darken. “What about Susannah?” He says through gritted teeth.

  “Hey, you promised!” I squeak.

  Hecloses his eyes briefly and takes a deep breathtrying to reign in his temper, when he opens them I can see his chocolate colour is coming back.“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “Please continue.”

  “I don’t want her rotting away in a Mental Institution Tristan, look what happened to my mother. Susannah is imbalanced, I know that, but only because of what happened, I’m sure with the right care and attention, she’ll get back on her feet. Have the chance at a happy, full life, maybe even fall in love again, have a family…” I drift off, thinking about her rotting away in that horrid place.

  “Coral, you’re a complete conundrum to me,” Tristan says, shaking his head. Then he turns over onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. “She almost killed you…could have killed me and you want to help her?” He says incredulously.

  “Yes.” I whisper.

  “Why?” He balks.

  “I’ve just told you why,” I say.

  “But…I just don’t understand…” He says, running his hand through his hair.

  “Tristan, if I remember rightly, you really liked Susannah before all this happened. You praised her, said she was the best member of staff you ever had, you trusted her, was fond of her even. Yet, you’re happy for her to rot away in some awful place that makes a person worse, not better? She was let down by the system Tristan, just like my Mom was, I just…” I stop and take a breath.

  “Yes I did trust her,” he spits. “But that was before I found out she was a complete lunatic.”

  “She is not a lunatic,” I argue. “She’s a very frightened, lost person. Tristan she lost her husband who she evidently loved, god knows how I would have felt had I lost you…and then to lose your unborn child…” I break off shivering slightly, but I notice Tristan tense up beside me.

  “What?” I question, sitting up so I can see his eyes.

  “Nothing,” he says closing them on me.

  “Tristan!” I scold. “Remember what we promised. We have to be honest and to talk to one another. I know you’re keeping something back from me.”

  Tristan sighs heavily and runs his hand through his hair again.“What do you want me to do about Susannah?” He questions, trying to throw me of the scent.

  “I don’t know, can’t we send her to the Priory or something?” I question.

  “The Priory?” He snorts.

  “You know what I mean,” I say. “Will she be charged with attempted murder?”

  “Probably, but her solicitor will no doubt plead insanity,” he says.

  “And if we drop the charges, she won’t have to go to an Institution?” I question.

  “Coral, why are you really doing this baby, because I’m trying really hard to understand?” He says.

  “Because I’m guessing she was a happy stable person before…” I drift off, imagining Susannah bouncing her baby on her knee, her husband beside her.

  Tristan leans up on his elbow, and stares down at me, then he softly strokes my cheek. “You want her to have a second chance?” he softly says.I nod my head.“Ok, we drop the charges as long as she goes where I want her to go, and right now, it’s on a completely different continent. I don’t want her anywhere near you or me,” he snaps.

  “Thank you,” I muse. “I want to see her too,” I add.

  “No!” he barks.

  “Tristan, you’re not telling me what I can and can't do, let’s just get that straight right now, before we’re married. I want to see her, I will see her, and you can either come with me, or not, it’s your choice.” There, that told him!

  “Why on earth would you want to see her?” He challenges.

  “I want to ask her something,” I whisper.

  “And what might that be?” He questions.

  “It’s a girl thing,” I say.

  “A girl thing?” He snorts sarcastically.

  “Yep, anyway I’m done, well apart from my original question.” Tristan tenses again. “You know…” I ponder on purpose, “the one about Dr Green?”

  Tristan sighs and closes his eyes.“I was just pissed at her because she wanted to…” He stops for a moment then continues. “I’m not married to you, or your next of kin, so we argued about who should tell you what had happened if you didn’t remember. I got George in to see her, explain your past, and how it’s best, knowing what you’re like, for me to explain everything to you. I knew it had to be someone that you trusted, not a complete stranger.”Ok, I got that wrong.Why did I think there was more, that Tristan was hiding something from me?

  “Why didn’t you just say that to me earlier?” I question, but he doesn’t answer me. “Tristan!” I prompt.

  “What happened in the hospital Coral?” He questions, ignoring me.

  “In the hospital?” I ask completely thr
own.

  “Yes, you had a dream…I think, a nightmare maybe, I don’t know. But you said you would tell me,” he says, finally looking at me.

  I swallow hard. “Oh, that…” I whisper, frowning at his chest.

  “Tell me baby,” he says, gently cupping my chin so I have to look at him.

  “I…I think I remember dying,” I whisper.

  Tristan inhales sharply. “You do?”

  I nod again.“Yeah…it was really weird, I was at my studio. I remember it was really foggy and I couldn’t feel my feet hitting the ground, it was like…like I was floating. Anyway, I saw this white bright light, so I went to investigate. It was my Mom Tristan, she was there talking to me, only she didn’t look like my Mom but I knew it was her.

  “She said that she was sorry, and that she’d been watching me, and that I had to leave her to come back here to you, she said that you needed me, then all I remember is pain, horrific pain and someone shouting ‘she’s back’.” I swallow hard and look up at him.

  “She’s back?” He questions.I nod solemnly at him. “Are you scared about it?” He asks his eyes wide.

  “No, just a little freaked out. Do you think it’s true, that is was my Mom?”

  “I couldn’t say Coral,” he says shaking his head. “But when Gran…right before she died she held her hand up in the air and said hello to my Gramps.” He says swallowing hard.

  I gasp. “She did?”

  “Yeah…it was a very bitter-sweet moment. I didn’t want her to go, but I also thought if that’s really true, and we meet the ones that we loved when we die, then I should feel happy for her, relieved even. But it doesn’t matter what I think, what do you believe Coral? Do you think it was your mother?”

  “Yes, I do.” I whisper, my heart constricting for him again.

  “Did she bring you comfort?” He softly asks.

  “Yeah…it was weird. It felt like it did before things got bad, when we were all happy. I remember arguing with her that I wanted to stay, I think it’s because wherever I was, there was no pain, no hate, no anger or rage, just peace and tranquility.”

  He smiles softly as me, then runs his finger under my eye. “You look exhausted,” he says, which makes me realise how tired I am. “It’s late, come on baby, let’s sleep,” he adds, sliding down the bed and carefully wrapping me in his arms.

  “Yeah, it is,” I say, feeling sleepy again.

  “I have some more questions Coral, but this one can wait until tomorrow,” he says.

  “Ok…” I mumble.

  “Sleep now gorgeous.” Tristan starts humming Some Enchanted Evening to me as he gently strokes my back.

  “Hmm,” with a contented sigh, I drift off into a peaceful sleep…

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  I WAKE UP WITH THE MOST HORRENDOUS stabbing pain in my chest. Holy Fuck! Am I having a heart attack? I draw in as much breath as I can and shout for Tristan, he comes bounding out of the bathroom, completely naked, dripping soap suds all over the place.

  “Shit Coral, what wrong?” He shouts dashing over to me.

  “I don’t know,” I pant. “Can't…breathe!”

  “Fuck!” Picking up his mobile, he presses a button and puts it to his ear. “Ambulance,” he shouts, then there’s a knock on the door.Tristan grabs his t-shirt from the chair, covers up his man-bits, and opens the door. I see his face fall with relief.“Terry, thank god…I’ve called for an ambulance. Do I need one?”

  Terry steps hurriedly into the room, takes one look in my direction and dashes over to me. Within seconds, I feel the painkillers flooding my system, I sag with relief.

  “Oh thank god!” I hear Tristan say.

  “Coral, what happened?” Terry asks.

  “Woke up, couldn’t breathe, sharp stabbing pain in my chest.” She nods and looks up at Tristan. “I think she’ll be fine,” she says. “Probably slept funny.”

  “You’re sure?” He questions.

  “Yes, but if you disagree’ – “I’m not going back to hospital. I feel fine now.” I interrupt.

  “I’ll call Dr Green, see if she can come here,” he says, hanging up. “I apologise for the way I’m dressed…or not dressed,” he adds to Nurse Terry, his cheeks flaming as he walks backwards into the bathroom.

  I can't help chuckling at him. “Looking good there Tristan,” I tease, winking at him.

  He stops at the door, cocks his head to the side then shakes his head in exasperation at me, which makes me laugh even more.Terry stifles a couple of giggles as Tristan quickly closes the door, but when she turns to me, I see her cheeks are flushed, her eyes dilated, and she seems to be all fingers and thumbs.

  “Feeling better?” She squeaks a little high pitched.

  “Yeah, the pain’s gone,” I say, trying not to smirk at her. “So you think I was sleeping funny or something?” I question.

  “Yes, that’s my guess,” she ponders. “Have you done any physical exercise?”

  “No,” I answer dryly.

  “Good. Have you been having sex?” She asks.

  “No, unfortunately not,” I mumble.

  “Not that then,” she says. “Although I have to ask; how can you resist him?” she blurts, then slaps her hand to her mouth. I don’t think she meant to say that.

  “I can't,” I laugh. “He’s denying me!”

  “Ah, well probably best,” she says standing up to leave. I think she feels a little embarrassed. “Well I certainly feel awake now,” she adds. “That was an eye opener.”

  “I think Tristan was very embarrassed,” I chuckle.

  “Yes, I think he was too,” she says. “Well I’ll be off, see you later.”

  “Bye Terry.” She smiles at me as she heads out the door, with very red cheeks.

  I look up at the new clock on the wall, 7.30am. Great!

  It’s not going to be long until the detective is here. I suddenly feel wide awake, no point lying in bed trying to get back to sleep; besides I’m starving!

  The door knocks again, and Edith enters with another tray.“Good morning Coral.” She says handing me a glass of what I think is my veggie juice, and placing one on the side for Tristan.

  “Wow, thanks Edith.” I say and glug half the glass down.

  “How on earth can you drink that?” She says shaking her head.

  “It’s good for you,” I say, smiling up at her.

  “Do you have one every morning?” She asks.

  “Yeah…pretty much,” I say.

  “Right you are.” She says heading out of the room.

  “Edith!” I call.

  “Yes dear?” She turns and smiles at me.

  “Um…well’ – “Spit it out!” she says impatiently.Ok, now I’m a little intimidated!She really is a straightforward talking kind of woman, which is making me want to just make my own breakfast, but I know if I go down there and try to make myself something, Tristan will go bonkers – It’s ridiculous!

  “I’m hungry,” I whisper.

  She smiles warmly at me. “What would you like?” She asks.

  I think about it for a second. It’s something I haven’t had in a while, and I feel like I’m craving it; which is weird? – Yep! Decision made!

  “Boiled eggs?” I ask.

  “With tea and toast?” Edith asks.

  “Marmite soldiers?” I ask, feeling like a child with Gladys.

  Edith chuckles. “A fan of Marmite eh?” I nod vigorously then drink more juice. “As is Tristan,” she says. Huh! I never knew that?

  “Come down when you’re ready lass,” she says.

  “Ok.” I smile. “Oh…and Edith?”

  “Yes dear?” She adds.

  “Thank you…for everything,” I say.

  “Everything?” She says, tittering at my serious expression.

  “Yes, for being there for Tristan when he lost his folks…looking after us both now…Just thank you, ok.” I want her to know how much I appreciate everything she’s done.

  Edith comes storming o
ver to me, her big boobs and bottom wobbling as she does, then she stops, and clasps her hands together in front of her. “I know it’s not my place to say, but sometimes these things need to be said!” She takes a deep breath and continues.

  “You’re a fine young lass Coral. I knew I’d like you because you’ve changed him.” She says gesturing to the bathroom. “For the first time in a very long time, he’s happy again. I knew whoever it was that was putting such a smile on his face must be a real gem, and you are. It’s made me very happy to see him like this, he’s been on his own for far too long, it’s not natural,” she says shaking her head in disapproval.

  Then her face softens and she takes my hand in hers. “You’re a real sweetheart Coral…and so brave to save Tristan like that…” She addstears welling in her eyes.

  “Well I think you’re amazing too,” I say, squeezing her hand back.

  “Ah…come one now, you’re going to have this silly old bird crying at this rate.” She titters.

  “Sorry,” I say, and pull the covers back to get out of bed.

  “Do you want some help getting down the stairs?” She questions.

  “No, I’m ok thanks,” I say, my feet touching the floor.

  “Alright, shall I put your eggs straight on?” She asks.

  “Yes please…I’m starving.”Edith pats my hand and heads out of the room.

  I put on my new, white fluffy robe that Tristan bought for me, pick up my mobile and my mp3 player, because I feel like some music, and carefully head down the stairs.

  Reaching the kitchen, I walk straight over to the sound system, plug my mp3 player in and choose Enya. I want some calming music.I hit shuffle and walk back over to the kitchen as the wonderful, mellow notes of Sumiregusa start filling the room – Ah, so nice…

  EDITH AND I STOP WHAT we are doing and stare at each other, because Tristan is frantically calling for me as he runs down the stairs.

  “In the kitchen!” I shout. I crack my second egg open and start dipping another soldier, then take a bite. Mmm delicious and well cooked!

  “Christ Coral!” Tristan says entering the kitchen, running his hand through his hair. “I didn’t know where you’d gone?”

  “I was hungry,” I say between mouthfuls.