Shenandoah Christmas

by Lynnette Kent

  Just mentioning Ben's name was an effort. She'd spent the time in Vegas doing her best to forget him, to think of reasons why a relationship between them would never work. She catalogued every positive aspect of her career—fans asking for autographs, special tables in restaurants and waiters who knew her name, enough money to indulge her passion for good jewelry and designer clothes. There was a lot to like about being a big name.

  "Okay, now for 'The Friendly Beasts.'" Slinging her guitar strap over her shoulder, she knelt on the floor in front of the youngest choir members. "Do you remember the words?" Cait strummed the opening chords. "I, said the donkey, all shaggy and brown..."

  Twelve little voices picked up the verse with her, as the twelve young faces gazed seriously into hers. The rest of the choir sat silent, listening, while above them Mary and Joseph put a pretend baby on a folding chair standing in for the manger.

  "Wow," Cait said as the last notes died away. "You do know the words. Excellent. And you'll all be dressed like the animals to sing the song. James's mom showed me one of the cow costumes—you'll look great!"

  The shepherds weren't so well prepared. Cait propped her hands on her hips. "You guys had better get your act together. Stephen, Trace, Hal, get those lines down by next week. And all of you—learn the song. It's just one verse—you can handle one verse."

  She heard noises behind her signaling the arrival of parents. "That's all we can do tonight. We'll start with the shepherds next week. Learn those parts!"

  Under cover of the ensuing confusion, Cait caught Shep

  by the sleeve. ' 'Come with me a minute. I have something for you."

  He followed her into the robing room, where she picked up the bag she'd carried back from Vegas. "I saw this and I thought about you," she said, pulling out a miniature Harrier jet. "I understand these planes are some of the coolest." I

  Shep accepted the toy with a wide grin and shining eyes, immediately taking the plane into its signature vertical liftoff. Cait watched him for a few minutes and gradually became aware that, again, the little boy was humming to himself. The Air Force theme song, of all things.

  When she joined in, he acknowledged her words with a nod, and kept flying his plane. 5

  "Can you sing the words, too?" Cait asked quietly, and started the song again. Shep shook his head.

  But when she started over, his lips moved. It was a very tiny sound, barely a whisper. But he sang the words.

  Her throat closed up with tears. Around the lump, she tried another song. "'Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother's house we go...'"

  Shep frowned, but again he mouthed the words along with her. t

  "Not your favorite, huh? How about—"

  "Shep?" Ben's voice came from the chancel. "Shep, it's time to go."

  Once again, the little boy flashed a warning glance at Cait. Then he ran out of the room, carrying his Harrier.

  Cait followed reluctantly and found Shep holding up the plane for his dad's and his sister's inspection.

  "Very cool," Ben said, in a very cool voice. He looked at Cait. "Thank you."

  "You're welcome. I've got something for you, too, Maddie." She brought a silky white stuffed puppy out

  from behind her back. "She looked like she belonged in your room."

  "Oh, Miss Caitlyn. She's beautiful." Maddie took the toy into a reverent hold. "I'll call her Sunny."

  Cait grinned. "Sunny's a great name."

  "Isn't she beautiful, Daddy?"

  "Amazing, Maddie. What do you say?"

  "Thank you, thank you." Maddie threw her arms around Cait's waist. After a second, Shep took hold, as well. Cait put her arms around both of them and hugged back.

  Ben closed his eyes. This was what having Cait in their lives would be like—she'd fly in with presents for the kids, stay a day or two and then take off again, leaving them lonely, bereft. Leaving him alone. Again.

  So why couldn't he get her off his mind?

  He opened his eyes to see the hug breaking up. "Get your coats on, kids. It's late and there's homework on the schedule."

  Maddie and Shep pulled reluctantly away from Cait and went to the back pew to collect their coats. Cait watched them, obviously avoiding looking at Ben.

  Which, perversely, made him want to see that she did. "How was Las Vegas?"

  She faced him, chin up. "Great, thanks. My last three shows were sold out."

  "I'm glad to hear the people out there appreciate good music."

  Her grin discounted the barriers between them. "Me, too. It was a fantastic hotel and they want to book the band and me for a couple of months next summer."

  "Vegas in summer?" He shook his head. "Not my idea of the perfect vacation."

  Maddie stepped up beside him, the stuffed puppy

  SHENANDOAH CHRISTMAS

  clutched to her chest, her coat still carried on her arm. "We go up into the mountains in the summer. Me and Daddy and Shep put up a tent and cook over the fire and swim in the mountain rivers. Boy, are they cold."

  "It's cold outside tonight, too." Ben took his daughter's coat and held it out. "No sense trying to get sick again."

  ( 4?

  Specially with the school concert coming up,' Mad-die said. Then, with only one arm in the coat, she whirled to Cait. "Can you come, Miss Caitlyn? We have a holiday program where we sing the other kinds of Christmas songs—'Rudolph' and stuff like that, you know? This year we're doing a play, too, and I have a part. Can you come? Can you?"

  "I'll do my very best to be there. When is it?"

  Ben turned Maddie around again to finish with the coat. "The last day of school is the fourteenth, I think. It's usually that morning, around ten."

  "Sounds like fun."

  After the briefest of goodbyes, he herded the kids to the car and got them buckled in. With one foot on the running board of the Suburban, though, he hesitated. He couldn't leave without making sure Cait understood the seriousness of her commitment.

  "I'll be right back," he told Maddie and Shep. "You two stay in your belts and leave the doors locked." It was a risk he'd never have taken, day or night, in Washington. But here in Goodwill, he knew the kids would be okay for a minute or two.

  As he opened the door to the church, Cait was just coming up the aisle. All but the lights nearest the front had been switched off.

  She stopped when she saw him. "Forget something?"

  "I wanted to say..." He had a hard time remembering,

  now that they were alone. The woman simply mesmerized him.

  "You wanted to say?" she prompted, when he didn't go on.

  Ben shook his head clear. "That Maddie's really excited about this school program. If you don't intend to be there, let me know as soon as possible so I can let her down easy."

  Those green eyes flashed in the dim light. "I don't go back on my commitments. Any of them."

  "I'm just suggesting you check your calendar really closely, in case there's a show or something you've forgotten."

  Her hands went to her hips. "I didn't get this far in the business by forgetting to show up for a performance."

  Backing up a step, he lifted his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. I just wanted to be sure. Taking care of Maddie and Shep is my main job. That includes trying to keep them from getting hurt."

  Those green eyes widened. "You think I'll hurt them?"

  "I think..." He dragged in a deep breath. "I think with your career and your commitments, the potential exists. Yes."

  There was a long moment of absolute silence. ' 'Thanks for clearing that up," Cait said finally. "I always like knowing where I stand." She brushed past him, headed for the door. "Now I need to lock up and get home to Anna."

  "Cait—" He caught her with a hand on her arm.

  "Let go." She shook him off and went to stand at the door. "Come on, Ben," she said, not looking at him. "It's late and I'm tired." And I'm finished with you, her tone said, quite plainly.

  So be it. "Sorry." Ben stepped throug
h the door, then

  caught a trace of her perfume in the cold, crisp air. He turned back. "Cait, listen."

  "I'm done listening.'' She turned the big key in its heavy lock. "Good night." Back straight, head high, she strode to Anna's Toyota and was gone before Ben got himself moving again.

  "What did you say to Miss Caitlyn, Daddy?" Maddie's question greeted him as he climbed into the car.

  "Nothing important," he told her, with standard parental evasion.

  Just all the wrong things.

  Regina Thorne stopped by the organ after choir practice Thursday night. "Remember, Cait, dear, that tomorrow is our choir Christmas party. We hold it at the beginning of the season, before everything gets so terribly hectic."

  "Oh." She'd forgotten, even after being reminded every week for the past month. And even if she'd remembered, all she'd been able to think about since last night was Ben Tremaine and how pigheaded, shortsighted, narrow-minded...

  "That's seven o'clock at my house," Regina continued. "We'll have a potluck dinner, some games and carols. It's always a lovely evening."

  Cait dredged up a smile. "I'm looking forward to it."

  "So are we." Regina patted her arm and left the church.

  The one hope Cait held out for missing the dinner— Anna—fell through. "I think you'll have a good time," I j she said. ' 'The games sound intimidating, but turn out to be fun."

  ' 'Is David going to be home tomorrow night?''

  "Who knows? If he is, he'll probably be in his study."

  She sighed. ' 'I can reach him on his cell phone if I need to. Even in his study."

  '' Annabelle, he is worried about you. Maybe more than you realize."

  "I know." Anna put her hand over her eyes. "I just didn't expect..."

  Cait waited, and finally said, "Didn't expect what?"

  "I thought having a baby—a baby you wanted desperately—was supposed to bring you closer together. But..."

  She didn't finish, and Cait didn't need her to. She'd seen the way David avoided being home with his wife. Maybe the excessive worry he'd confessed to explained his behavior.

  But as far as she was concerned, nothing excused the way he was hurting her sister.

  So she was waiting for him when he came through the kitchen door that night at eleven o'clock, long after Anna had fallen asleep.

  "I'd accuse you of cruising the bars," she said as he stood staring at her, "but Goodwill only has one."

  "No." He shook his head slowly. "I was at the office. Working." Rubbing his fingers in his eyes, he walked blindly toward the door into the hallway. "Man, I'm tired."

  "David."

  He stopped, but didn't face her. "Can we talk tomorrow, Cait? I told you, I'm really exhausted."

  ' 'Will you be around long enough tomorrow to say anything meaningful?"

  His shoulders slumped. Turning, he leaned back against the side of the refrigerator. "What is it?"

  "Do you know what you're doing to Anna?"

  To her surprise, he laughed. "I'm trying to make things right for her. What else can I do?"

  Cait stared at him. "By ignoring her?"

  "I don't—" A yawn overtook him and he covered his face with both hands. "I see her, talk to her, every day. But I'm running this church on my own and I just don't have a lot of time. There's so much to do... Anna understands." He yawned again, then looked at Cait with red-rimmed eyes. "Anything else?"

  "Why don't you ask for assistance from the people of the church? Get somebody else to do what Anna used to— typing, answering the phone. There are lots of people out there who would be glad to help the two of you in any way they can." She had a sudden brainstorm. "You could let someone take care of the paperwork. Harry Shepherd, for instance. He's got the time now."

  "No." The word was harsh, implacable. "I have things under control. I do," he insisted, in response to her skeptical frown. "I'm going to get it finished up by the middle of the month, and then when the baby's born... if the baby's born...I'll be able to give Anna all the help she needs. Good night, Cait." He didn't give her a chance to stop him again, but went quickly across the hall into his study, shutting the door firmly behind him.

  Cait only hoped he slept as poorly on the couch in there as she did in Anna's guest room.

  After spending just a few minutes with Harry and Peggy on Friday night, Ben was tempted to take the kids out for dinner and back to the house for a movie, leaving the older couple to themselves. Last week's lack of enthusiasm had become even more noticeable. Both of the grandparents looked tired, tense and preoccupied, even with Maddie and Shep demanding their attention, as usual. Add to that his own reluctance to attend the party he'd

  been invited to tonight, and the case for him taking his children home was pretty strong.

  "Don't be ridiculous," Peggy said, when he suggested they call off the visit. "We've been looking forward to seeing Maddie and Shep all week. I'll be very, very disappointed if they don't get to stay." She gazed up at him with tears in her eyes. "Please, Ben. Let us keep them tonight."

  A woman's tears always turned him to mush. "Sure, Peggy, if that's what you want."

  So now here he was, with a potted poinsettia in hand, waiting for Regina Thorne to answer the doorbell. Behind him on the walk, a brisk set of footsteps approached. He turned to greet another guest...and looked down into Cait's shocked face.

  Regina Thorne opened her door. "Hello, Ben. What a lovely poinsettia. Oh, and Cait, you're here, too! Did you two drive together? What a good idea. Please, come in."

  Ben backed up against the rail of the narrow steps to allow Cait to go past, but he couldn't avoid the brush of her hip against his thigh. He caught the drift of her scent in the cold air and nearly groaned. How long would this night of torture last?

  Two minutes inside the house convinced him he'd been set up. All the other guests were choir members and their spouses. He knew them, of course, and they'd asked him more than once to join their group. This could be a recruiting ploy, he supposed. Get him involved and then get him to sing.

  But when the only seat left at the table was the one next to Cait, the real purpose of inviting him became clear.

  However, placing them side by side at dinner was only the opening move in the evening's matchmaking cam-

  paign. The first game, Miss Thome announced, would be Christmas charades. She proceeded to assign partners, which meant that he and Cait were together, of course. Then she handed out cards with the phrase they were supposed to act out. Ben took one look and groaned.

  "What is it?" Cait pulled the card from between his fingers. "Oh, no. How could they?"

  He shook his head. "I can't tell you. But we can march out in righteous anger—which will have them all believing there's something going on we don't want people to know about. Or we can play the game as if it's no big deal." Without looking at her, he shrugged as if he didn't care. "It's up to you."

  "We'll play," Cait growled.

  Other pairs had funny assignments—reindeer on the roof, visions of sugarplums, dashing through the snow, chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Then it was Ben and Cait's turn.

  "Give me your ribbon," he whispered as they took the center of the room. Before she could say yes or no, he slipped the bright-green strand from the end of her braid and tied it quickly in a double bow.

  All eyes were on them as they faced each other. ' 'What are you going to do?" Cait said desperately.

  Ben grinned. "Just close your eyes. It'll be over in a second."

  She did as he asked. He took a step that brought them toe to toe and raised the bow over their heads with one arm. With the other hand, he tilted Cait's face up, and touched his mouth to hers.

  "Kissing under the mistletoe!" "No fair, too easy!" Other comments filled the room, but Ben scarcely heard them through the roaring in his ears. One simple kiss had jolted him to the soles of his feet. Even after he drew

  back, Cait was still standing with her eyes closed, as if she didn't want to
lose something precious.

  We're in trouble now, Ben thought. Somehow, though, he couldn't be sorry.

  The next game was Pictionary. Ben ended up on a different team from Cait, with a line from "Blue Christmas" to draw out. Poor Cait's challenge was just as bad: "On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me five gold rings." Blushing all the time, she drew five interlocked circles and won the game with the shortest time necessary for her team to guess the answer.

  After that they gathered around the piano for carols, which sounded really good, since the choir members sang in parts. Ben actually started to relax—the evening would be over soon.

  But Regina Thorne had one more surprise in store. "Cait, would you sing 'White Christmas' for us?"

  Cait held up a defensive hand. "Why don't we all sing?"

  "Because we want to hear you. Or—or maybe Ben would sing with you—he has such a nice voice, but he's always refused to join the choir."

  With an expression that said, Let's humor them and get this over with, Cait sat down at the piano and ran through an introduction. The glance she gave him told Ben to begin the lyrics and he did so without trouble. Like the professional musician she was, she pitched the melody perfectly for his voice.

  Then she joined him on the second line, in a harmony that wove through the tune like moonlight through bare tree branches. It was all Ben could do to keep his own part going. He wanted to listen to hers.

  The room stayed quiet for a long moment when the

  song ended. Miss Thome finally drew a breath. "That was..."

  "Perfect," Ellen Morrow said. "You couldn't ask for a nicer Christmas present."

  Couples began to say good-night shortly afterward. Somehow Ben and Cait ended up standing next to Regina Thome, saying good-bye until they were the only guests left.

  The schoolteacher finally brought them their coats. "Thanks so much for coming, both of you. You really made the party special."

  Ben decided not to laugh at the double meaning of her comments. "Thank you. It was a lot of fun." He held Cait's black, curly wool coat for her to slip into.

  She turned to their hostess. "Thanks, Regina. I had a great time."

  "Oh, you're welcome, dear." Before Cait could move away, Miss Thome gave her a hug and a kiss. "You've done so much for us."