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The Groundwater Diaries

Page 38

by Tim Bradford


  ‘Muswell Hillbilly’ 136

  Muswell Stream, the 132, 133, 138, 142

  Mutton Brook 263

  my Gran’s ciggies 153

  Myddleton, Hugh 25, 26, 33, 39

  mystical powers 157

  naked hippies 68

  Narnia 78

  national anthems 419

  National Front 301

  nationalism 270

  Neckinger 11, 324–335, 414

  Nelstone, Arthur 244–5, 246

  Neolithic 12, 68, 108 (flint tools)

  nervous twitches 201

  New-Age synth music 12

  New Den, The 353

  New River 11, 13, 15, 16–39, 53, 66, 146, 147, 187, 413, 417, 425

  New River Company, the 27, 28, 34

  New Tunbridge Wells 117

  New World Order 48

  Newby, Eric 120

  Newton John, Olivia 137

  newts 371

  NHS glasses 19, 20. 21, 325, 369

  ‘Nice and Easy’ 231

  Nipple Erectors (Nips) 209

  NME 18, 260, 320, 356

  Nonsuch Palace 288

  Normans 12, 327

  Norse symbolism 247

  North Circular Road 269, 270, 281, 393

  North London Short

  Story Workshop 85

  North London TV villains 123

  North Sea 5, 92

  Northern European voodoo 407

  Northerners 131, 132

  Norton Folgate 194

  Norwood 399, 404

  Notes and Queries 436–42

  Notting Hill 285

  Carnival 233

  Nottingham 221, 272

  nuns 114, 142, 232

  nurses 123, 132, 133, 142–3 (pretty)

  O Brother Where Art Thou? 300

  “O” gauge (the home of) 357

  Oates, Captain 260

  O’Brien, Flann 198

  obsession with rivers 34, 140, 349

  Occam, William of;

  (his Razor), 76, (his Shaving Brush), 76

  ocean pinks 338

  offal 119

  Old Deer Park 424

  old maps 318, 326, 336, 359, 383, 409, 424

  old men 7, 79 (in electric wheelchairs), 101, 110, 114, 117, 122, 419

  Old Oak Common 245, 249

  Oldman, Gary 221

  Oliver Twist (Dickens) 102, 329

  Olivier, Sir Laurence 341–4

  omphalos 106

  ‘On the Famous Voyage’ 105, 119

  ‘One Tree Hill’ 345–6

  online dream analyst 3, 20, 21, 49, 50, 74, 137

  ‘Only way is up’ 62

  Ono, Yoko 152

  optimistic-pessimism 87

  Orb, the 144

  Ordnance Survey Maps 132, 424

  Orwell, George 354

  otters 119

  Oval Cricket Ground 415

  Owen, Malcolm 215

  Owen, Robert 228

  oxygenation 376

  oysters 90

  Paddington 22, 210

  Paganism 5, 9, 76, 90, 226, 257–8, 310

  offerings 109

  stag night 168

  Page, Jimmy 24

  Paice, Ian 403–4

  Pancras Wells 109

  Pankhurst, Emmeline 238

  panty-liner retrieval unit 374

  Paradise 15

  Parrrpppp-ee-oowww rarrch-honk-blaaaaa! 201

  Parr’s Ditch 242, 250, 423

  Passport to Pimlico 405

  Paxman, Jeremy 76

  Peabody Trust, the 72, 126, 220

  Peasants’ revolt 263

  pebbles 387

  Peck, Gregory 351

  Peck, the 344–54, 355, 414

  Peckham 349

  Peckham Rye Common 347–8

  pendulum 143, 145, 147, 149

  penis-shaped helmets 190, 192

  Pepys, Samuel 327, 339, 354

  Petrocelli 40–1

  pheromonal odours 136

  Phoenix Café 400, 410

  photography magazines 287

  Picasso, Pablo 90

  Pickwick Papers, the 102, 232

  pie and mash shops 84

  Piecemeal Society, the 370

  pigeons 40, 84 (dead)

  pig’s intestines 27

  Pimlico 219

  Pingu 35, 36

  piss 28 (in a river), 35 (heads), 69 (-stained towerblocks ), 107, 127, 152 (odours), 209 (smell of), 335, 373, 384

  pissedory 326

  Pitt, Brad 171

  plague 350

  Plantagenets 57

  Playboy 18

  Pleasance, Donald 106, 109

  pleasure gardens 107, 115, 118

  poetry 62, 106, 140, 214 (dour Yorkshire)

  Pogles Wood 101

  Pogues, the 113, 209

  pointlessness of tennis, the 302

  poltergeist activity 82

  police 113, 122–3, 162, 190, 192, 193, 195, 198 (oppression), 234 (violence), 249, 322, 425

  Police, the 207

  Policemen in little rowing boats (underground network of) 198

  Pollock, Jackson 84, 216

  pollution 335

  pool 109, 396–7

  Pope, the 340

  porn

  (literature, French), 249 (mags), 18, 20

  Portnoy’s Complaint 136

  Portobello Market 222

  positive thinking 83, 87, 88, 89

  postmen 268

  post-punk feminist bands 257

  Praed, Michael 406

  prams 8, 70, 83

  Pretenders, the 215

  pretty nurses 142, 143

  primary sedimentation 375

  Prime Minister 300

  primordial jelly 90

  prog rock 145, 375

  proletarian revolution 65

  prostitutes 112

  protests (anti-global capitalism) 191

  Prozac 258

  Prussian blues 71

  psychic 35 (map), 173 (palm reader), 327

  psychoactive 55 (funguses), 357 (toads)

  psycho-geographic buffer zone 83

  pubs 7, 28, 84, 93, 98, 106–21, 135, 137, 138, 232, 250, 266, 318, 352, 355, 396–7 (opening hours), 402, 415, 424

  puddles 67, 329, 330

  Punch 331, 332

  punk 5, 92, 175–81, 204–21, 281

  punk-reggae bollocks with helium vocals 207

  Purple Tuesday 196

  Purves, Peter 187, 188

  Pymme’s Brook 150, 425

  Q 62

  Quaggy River 425

  quasi-Egyptian mausoleums 226

  Quinn, Niall 66

  rabbit (how to skin a) 192

  rabies 139

  Race, Roy 153

  racist van drivers 295

  radiation 13

  Rafferty, Gerry 170

  railway 61, 70 (arches), 109, 111, 147, 150, 276, 277

  rain 20, 52, 230, 418, 419

  Raleigh, Sir Walter 367, 400, 410

  ravens 247, 313, 367

  Ravensbourne 367, 414

  Raynes Park 285, 286, 287, 295, 297, 300

  real ale 36, 118

  Rebel, The 98

  Reclaim the Streets 193

  Record Breakers 54, 85

  Red Stripe 114, 201, 424

  Reed, Lou 137

  Reggae 71, 213

  Reich, Steve 400

  reiki 385

  reincarnation action 226

  rejection (by publishers) 22

  relativity, theory of 380

  religion 4, 18, 61

  reservoirs 29, 137, 394

  revolution 66

  Revolver 291

  Rice, Anneka 135

  Richard the Lionheart, King 166–7

  Richmond Park 298

  Rickman, Alan 171, 200

  ring main system 32

  riots 7 (of 1968), 149

  ‘Rising Damp’ 106

  Ritzy Bar Niteclub 272, 356

  river goddess 256
<
br />   river of punk 204–221

  river of the dead 224–39

  river of wells (Fleet) 104–21

  rivers (as boundaries), 17 (of beer), 55, 71 (of dub), 71 (of piss), 111

  Roach, William 249

  Rocque, John 54, 97, 142, 147, 331, 359, 409, 424

  Rogue’s Well 360

  Romans 12, 188, 189, 190, 192, 197, 199, 327, 354, 367

  Rose Theatre, the 341–4

  Rosetti, Dante Gabriel 90

  Rotherhithe Mill Streams 336–340

  Rotten, Johnny 207, 221

  rotting heads of traitors 27

  Rough Trade Records 213

  Rourke, Mickey 335

  rowing clubs 299

  ‘Roxanne’ 207

  Royal family 168–9

  Rugby 229 (League), 254

  (Union)

  ‘Rule Britannia’ 252

  rum and black 208, 231

  Rupert the Bear 18, 27, 234

  rural 132, 150

  landscape 404, 408

  Ruskin, John 303

  sacred 48 (spring), 57

  (plants), 170

  (geography), 177

  (sites) 310 (spring)

  sad-eyed cockney

  princesses 331

  Sadler’s Wells 116

  Salvation Army 67

  Sartre, Jean-Paul 90

  Satanists 110

  sausages 139, 314

  ‘Save All Your Kisses For Me’ 348

  Saxons 12, 50, 58, 83, 95, 98, 142, 188, 199, 354, 389 (with high-pitched voices), 400, 406

  Scalextric 102

  school (on course of river) 66, 293, 351, 404

  Scooby Doo 232, 372

  Scott, Captain 260, 292

  scrofula 142

  Seasonal Affective

  Disorder 81–2

  Second Summer of Love, the 356

  secret policeman’s bar 122–3

  Sedgwick, Edie 424

  Segal, George 262

  semen (in large container in afterlife) 140

  Serpentine, the 215

  seventies football card

  collection 95

  sewers 22, 73, 76, 120, 360, 369, 370, 421, 423

  sex 84, 135, 153, 227, 252, 258, 260, 280, 288, 315, 357

  sex File 18, 20

  sex goddess 263

  Sex Pistols, the 218, 301

  sexual repression

  (Victorian style) 226, 258, 353

  Shakespeare, William 239, 341–2

  sheepskin coat 101, 134

  shellfish 109, (half-eaten), 338, 367

  Shepherds Bush Market 172–3

  shifty-looking hot

  tempered adolescents 222

  shit 11, 27, 73, 120, 188, 220, 248, 268, 326, 338, 369–79, 394

  Shoreditch 191–2

  shouty blokes 409

  Sikes, Bill 334

  Silk Stream 263

  Simonon, Paul 216

  Singing Ringing Tree, The 232

  Singleton, Valerie 187

  ‘Sister Ray’ 208

  ‘Sitting By the Riverside’ 141

  sixties, the 58, 148, 151, 270, 373, 424

  ska 419

  skin cancer 209

  Skol Super 35, 407

  sky 60, 62, 81, 92, 147, 387, 425

  ‘Slave to the Rhythm’ 252

  slipper baths 353

  smashed cars 70

  small-town French

  beauty 249

  Smith, Mark E. 213, 214, 215

  Smith, TV 210

  Smithfield 106, 119, 120

  ‘Smoke on the Water’ 403

  Smollet, Tobias 248

  Snarzelweckumfuzz, Mr 102

  snogging 10, 14

  socio-urinary historians 111

  Soho 28

  ‘Some Lost Rivers of London’ 11, 189, 205

  Soundtracks, Epic 208

  soup 296, 407

  South America 222, 244, 394

  South Bank Centre 328

  South Harrow Market 172

  Southwark Park 336

  Spa Gardens 117

  space-time continuum

  (like in Back to the Future) 384

  Sparks, the 266

  spatulas 158

  Special Brew 33, 35, 55, 187, 193 (visions), 199, 370, 410

  Spitalfields 199, 363

  Spitfire (beer) 118

  spliffs 35, 144, 247, 349, 356

  Spring Place Estate 115

  springs 104–21, 138, 226, 310, 316

  squat blond blokes 112

  St Elmo’s Fish Bar 249, 253

  St John, Knights of 220, 323, 333

  St John’s Wood 158

  St Pancras Gardens 110

  St Pancras Station 47

  St Paul’s 199

  St Saviour’s Dock 335

  St Bartholomew’s

  Church 120

  St Bride’s Well 120

  St Chad’s Well 112

  St Pancras Church 106, 109, 110, 323

  Stamford Bridge 238

  Stamford Brook 242–253, 297, 414, 423

  standing water 56, 58, 146, 149, 325, 329

  Staples Corner 274–5

  Star Trek 64

  statuesque blond women 166

  Stepney 362

  Stevens, Shaking 158

  Stiff Little Fingers 213

  Sting 207

  stink glacier 136

  Stockhausen, Karl Heinz 181

  Stoke Newington 14, 21, 28, 29, 32, 33, 67, 201–2, 299, 386, 424–6

  stone circle 60, 61

  Stone, Oliver 300

  Stonebrdge Park 276, 277, 278

  storm drain 121

  Stranglers, the 219, 220

  Stratford 73

  stream of ideas 142

  Streatham 312, 317

  Strongbow 14

  Stroud Green 138

  Strummer, Joe 211

  Stukeley, William 47

  submarine (miniature – in Donald Pleasance’s bloodsteam) 106

  suburban melancholy 267, 286, 287, 289

  suburbia 131, 132

  Suffragettes 238

  ‘Summertime Blues’ 338

  Sunderland FC 66

  sun-dried tomatoes 315

  supermarket trolleys (in rivers) 294, 392

  superstitions 106, 182–4

  Sutherland, Donald 227

  swans, special

  relationship with Queen 168

  Sweden’s diplomatic

  triumphs 325

  Swedish DIY fascism 281–2

  Sweeney, The 58, 257

  Swell Maps 181, 208

  Swift, Frank 126

  ‘Swinging Safari’ 348

  Swiss Cottage 158

  Symbionese Liberation

  Army 159

  synthetic-organic tarmac 353

  ‘tagging the mullet’ 406

  tai chi 10, 14, 22, 384

  Talgutt, CF 139–41, 144

  Tao te ching 383, 424

  Taoiseach 262

  tattooed shouty

  longhairs 118

  tea 58, 356

  Tebbit, Norman 327

  Teenage Fanclub 298

  Templars 58, 75, 219, 321, 333

  Tennents Super 35, 36, 55, 62, 93, 167–8, 277, 338, 405, 424

  tennis 301–2, 338

  Terry and June 267

  Thames 22, 45, 99, 105, 121, 199, 245, 250, 251, 252, 264, 286, 309, 319, 327, 334, 355, 360, 377, 388, 421

  Thames Water 32, 52, 305–8, 310, 379, 404, 421

  Thatcher, Margaret 87, 291, 300, 327, 328, 396

  Thatcherite bastards 191, 335, 342

  thick floppy-haired ex-public schoolboys 365–6

  Thin Lizzy 20, 403

  third baritone 337, 347–8

  Thomas, Dylan 234

  Thompson, Jeff 210

  Thor 246

  Thorney Island 156, 165

  Third Man, The 77

  Tibetan Book of the Dead 35

  ‘Tie a Yellow Rib
bon

  Round the Old Oak

  Tree’ 348

  time travel 167, 187, 349

  tiny Raquel Welch clones

  in miniaturised submarines 384

  ‘Tomorrow Never

  Knows’ 35

  Tooting Common 312

  Tooting Myth Cycle, the 311

  Tottenham 27, 93

  Tottenham Hotspur FC 45, 65, 148, 149, 150

  tower blocks 69, 70, 109, 321, 330, 351, 354, 355, 373, 409, 425

  tractors 6

  traffic 274, 278–9, 297, 393

  travel writing 22, 139, 327, 418

  trees 263, 290, 292, 299, 347, 387, 392,

  trendy vicars 321

  Trent, River 4

  triviality (of seaching for lost rivers in the context of major world events) 415

  trombone 419

  trousers pulled up to the nipples 229

  Tubular Bells 77

  Tudorbethan architecture 110, 266–7

  Tulse Hill 410

  tunnels 121, 152, 417

  Turkish grocers 29

  Twilight Zone, The 318

  Two Ronnies, The 236

  Tyburn (Tyebourne) 11, 154–71, 260, 414, 423

  Tyburn Stream 214

  U2 115, 346

  UK Subs 219

  Ulster Unionists (Tokyo Branch) 162

  ultra-competitive second baritone 347

  Untitled III 412

  Universe, the 4, 18, 151

  (interdependent one-ness of), 350

  (unexpected beauty of), 366

  urban biodiverse parkways 193

  urban pioneers 33

  urine 40, 65, 73, 107, 111, 127, 373, 384

  USA 98, 101

  used car depot 147

  USSR 329

  Usual Suspects, The 313

  utilising Black Hole

  Technology 349

  Val the barmaid 94

  Vale of Health,

  Hampstead 108

  ‘Vale Royal’ 106

  Vauxhall 399

  vibrant earth juices 258

  vicars’ wives 110

  Victoria 287

  Victoria Park, Hackney 72, 419

  Victorians 12, 14, 27, 29, 32, 48, 56 (department stores), 67, 68

  (do-gooders), 70, 76, 109 (public urinals), 111 (crazed

  enthusiasts), 115, 132, 134, 139–40, 148, 226, 232–235 (urinals) 258, 277, 303, 331–2

  (bric-á-brac), 334, 337, 348 (ironwork), 351, 353 (depraved craziness of), 422, 423

  Vikings 12, 50, 83, 84, 90, 95, 98, 142, 199, 246

  villages (London as a collection of) 410, 428

  violence 212

  Visionary writings 139

  visions 193 (specialbrew fuelled) , 347–348

  Wade, Virginia 301

  Wakeman, Rick 145

  Walbrook 11, 186–200, 413

  Wales 67

  Walker, Max 210

  Walters, Doug 210

  Walthamstow 27, 80–102, 287, 297, 393 (dog track), 396–7

  Wandle, River 45, 303, 414

  Wandle Liberation Army 303

  Wandsworth 309, 320, 377, 423

  wankers 31

  water cycle 373

  water gremlins 116

  watercress beds 71, 172–3

 

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