Confusion: (a love story)

by Catherine Curtis

  He slows his pace for a moment to give me time to recover but then rolls to his back, bringing me along until I am lying on his chest. I push myself up and lean back onto him to take in every inch. With my head tilted back I close my eyes and focus on the feel of his throbbing and growing sex. I start to sway my hips back and forth and the friction against my sensitive clit is causing tiny waves of pleasure to course through my body.

  I open my eyes for a moment and look down at him. He is watching me and for a moment I feel truly beautiful. I am making love to a god under the stars on a warm summer night and I feel free and playful and wanted. He takes my hands and pushes me further upright and I don’t even try to muzzle the sound as I cry out and crash into another orgasm. He joins me in my ecstasy and I collapse exhausted onto his chest.

  I must have fallen asleep there because I wake up to the sound of voices coming out of the trees by the river. Nathan holds me tighter and when I look up he is holding a finger to his lips. We lay there frozen and quiet as they laugh and joke their way down the fairway. When they are a safe distance away Nathan loosens his hold.

  We are laughing at our brush with getting caught as we throw on our clothes and start the walk back into town. Along the way he stoops to pick up a stray golf ball. Rather than throwing it, he tucks it into his pocket without a word.

  As we near the hotel I start to wonder if I should be going home instead. Nathan has probably already gotten what he was interested in. As nice as it would be to stay with him, I wonder if this is the easiest time for me to leave without him having to ask me to. It would probably save us both some embarrassment. I glance up at him but he just seems lost in his own thoughts. He is still holding tightly to my hand but I move a few inches away from him to begin to separate myself out. He looks down and me and cocks one of his eyebrows as he pulls me closer.

  “Going somewhere?”

  “Well, um.” I stammer. “It is late and all. So I thought maybe I should just head home.”

  “Got what you came for and now you’re done with me huh?” He says it as if he is hurt but there is a gleam in his eye that tells me that he is teasing.

  “Not possible.” I state firmly. I pause and then decide to go with honesty. “I was just trying to give you an out.” He stops me there across the street from the hotel and lifts my face towards his.

  “Isabella. I want you to understand that I don’t need an out.” His voice is low and serious and he sounds almost angry. “I have wanted to touch you, to hold you, to have you from the moment I set eyes on you in the airport. I don’t need an out. Not now. Not ever.”

  I slowly nod my head yes and he turns and pulls me tighter as we cross the street. The intensity of his words strikes me as a little over the top, given that we’ve only known each other for a few days. But then, he doesn’t seem to be one for half measures.

  Before we enter the doors I see Eric sitting in the lobby looking pensive. I am sure he expected Nathan hours ago and I actually feel bad for making him worry. He glances up and his face betrays his surprise at seeing me there before he looks passively off into the distance. As we pass by him I murmur, “Sorry, I fell into the river.” He doesn’t acknowledge me but I see the corner of his lips curl up.

  Nathan, however, acknowledges my confession with a swift smack on my butt. I jump and let out a little yelp in surprise and he just laughs as he chases me into the elevator.

  When he opens the door to his suite I am reminded again of who he is. His suite is twice the size of my apartment and is filled with antiques and old world luxury. He should be out of place here but the space seems to complement him and he carries an air of an19th century governor, lord of his manor. I smile at the thought and let out a low whistle.

  “Must be nice to have a daddy who’s an arms dealer.” I tease.

  “He’s an engineer.” He says a bit sternly as he moves gracefully through his kitchen. He returns to me and hands me a cold bottle of water and adds. “Your daddy and my daddy’s jobs aren’t all that different.”

  “But yours obviously has the better paycheck.” I draw a large circle around the room to emphasize my point. He glances at me uncertainly and leaves through a door to the right. I can hear the water come on in the distance.

  He leaves me alone long enough for me to realize how tired I am. Emotionally the day has been a roller coaster and I feel spent. Physically, the early morning, long ride, and amazing sex has left my muscles feeling heavy. I stand there, too tired to make myself comfortable. I’m not sure what he has in mind, but I’m starting to wonder if I am up for it.

  Nathan appears in the doorway and leans against the frame. He looks at me like I might look at a beautiful thoroughbred, with appreciation and awe. He looks at me, I realize, like I look at him. The thought brings a smile to my lips and it triggers him to start walking toward me. I take the opportunity to drink in every inch of his body. His movement is graceful and strong and confident. He has taken off his button down and is left with his tight black undershirt. I can see his chest expand with each breath and can’t help but appreciate the sinewy muscles of his arms. His dark grey pants catch on those hips I was so lucky to explore just hours ago and betray his muscular thighs. With his bare feet and slow purposeful gate, he is the definition of sensual. By the time he reaches me I can feel my body trembling with anticipation.

  “You haven’t moved.” He says softly as he reaches up and runs his fingers down my cheek.

  “I forgot to.” I respond honestly.

  “Are you OK Isabella? If you don’t want to be here, Eric can...”

  “No. I want to be here.” I say breathlessly. “It’s just been a long day. A long week. I’m exhausted.” I sound apologetic.

  “Then let me take care of you. Just relax.”

  He takes my hand and leads me toward the sound of the water. We move through his bedroom and I find the idea of his bed both exhilarating and a little intimidating.

  The bathroom is huge and the tub is a large oval filled with bubbles, the air is filled with the sweet smell of vanilla. The room is softly lit with a handful of small candles. He stops by the edge of the bath and starts to undress me.

  I lift my arms as he pulls off my shirt and then plants a small kiss on the top of each of my breasts. He unfastens my riding britches and slides his hands inside and down my legs, pausing long enough for me to step out with each foot. I feel exposed, standing there in my bra and panties and am grateful for my grandmother, who always insisted that a woman should wear beautiful underwear every day. Her theory was that even if no one saw them, it made you feel more beautiful and confident.

  He stands and turns me around, kissing my neck as he unfastens my bra. He runs his fingertips lightly down my arm as he removes the straps and lets it drop to the floor. Between his kisses and touch I feel my body tingle and I am suddenly covered in goose bumps.

  “Such a sensitive and responsive body.” He whispers as he moves my hair to the side and kisses his way down my back. His hands are firmer as they slide under my black lace panties and push them down to my ankles. His hands never leave my body as he stands and turn me back toward him.

  He takes my hand as I step into the bath and sink down into the relaxing warmth of the water. I close my eyes for a moment, fighting the urge to drift off into the nothingness that is my mind in the moment, but I open them to see what he is doing. I feel my blush as I realize that he is just watching me, and I start to worry that it may be his plan to keep doing so. But my look seems to prompt him into action and he begins to undress.

  He swiftly pulls down his pants and his boxer briefs and as he is stepping out of them I am transfixed by the muscular indentation on the outer side where his leg meets his ass. For some reason this one area strikes me as an example of how incredibly gorgeous he is and I feel the strong urge to kiss it and trace my tongue along the indentation. I realize then that he has finished undressing and is just looking at me with amusement.

  He steps into the bath and
slides slowly behind me. I lean back against his chest, and sitting there with his legs and arms wrapped around me, warm and tired, I feel content. I feel safe. This is where I belong and have always belonged. I never want to move. His deep sigh shifts my body slightly and shows that he shares in my contentment. After a few minutes my breathing slows and I struggle to stay conscious.

  “No sleeping in the bathtub beautiful.” Nathan whispers, and pushes me forward a few inches. He reaches around me and fills his palm with shampoo. He starts at the front of my scalp and massages the shampoo through my hair, just the right amount of pressure and then light scratches with his fingernails. I didn’t think it was possible to get more relaxed but I feel like I am melting into the bath. He pulls me back against his chest and then uses a cup to rinse the suds out with warm water. The whole process is repeated with conditioner and I am amazed at how gentle and attentive he is. This is the same man who smacked me hard on the butt and threw me over his shoulder in the bar. I’m not sure how to predict which Nathan I’ll get, but I’m hoping he keeps me around long enough to try.

  I start to turn over so that I can return the favor but he stands, taking me with him.

  “But it’s your turn.” I protest.

  “You can barely keep your eyes open. I think it’s time to get you to bed.” He catches my look as he reaches for a towel. “To sleep, Isabella. I prefer having sex with women who are awake.” He wraps the towel around me and pulls me tightly to his chest. I can tell that he is certainly awake and ready for another go.

  “But I am awake.” I try to sound convincing but he laughs a little as I try to stifle a yawn.

  He takes me to his bed and tucks us both under the covers and I am pretty sure that I am asleep before my head hits the pillow.

  Chapter 8

  The sun is cutting a sharp bright line diagonally across the bed and I wake when the light reaches my lidded eyes. I am lying on my back with Nathan’s arm stretched out as a pillow and my fingers entwined with his. His nose is nestled into my neck and the rest of his body is draped over mine, his other hand tucked under my waist. Our legs are tangled together like a vine and I am wondering how on earth I have been sleeping. I like having someone in the bed with me, but I usually like my space. I wonder for a moment about what time it is and longer about how awkward it will feel when we are both awake. But in the meantime, I am content to soak in the last moments of comfort from his body and the feel of his breath on my neck.

  I feel his breathing shift and he stretches his leg, pushing his body harder against me. I smile at how delicious it feels before I realize that he is watching. He pauses long enough for me to admire his tussled hair falling over his forehead and say a little prayer of thanks to the gods for loaning him to me and giving me this mental image to hold on to.

  His hand slides down from my waist and then around the back of my thigh as he pulls me on my side to face him. He touches his nose gently to mine and then a small kiss on my lips.

  “Good morning Beautiful.” His voice is low and filled with need and I can feel the heat sweep through my body. He brings his hand to the top of my hip and then uses his fingers to sweep down along my side and then back up again until he reaches my shoulder. He runs his fingertips down my arm and then back up again, slowly up the side of my neck and cheek, then back down until his fingers are resting below my chin. My eyes are closed and I am lying perfectly still, taking in every sensation of his touch.

  He lifts my chin slightly and I feel his lips on mine. His kiss is firmer and more urgent and I meet his need with my own. I am trying to stay mindful of every sensation and moment, knowing that each touch of his tongue, his fingers, his body, could be the last. Soon we will head back out into the world and the spell will be broken. But this morning I am doing everything I can to make this one night stand last for as long as possible.

  I think I might not be alone in that. Nathan is moving his lips across my neck and seems to be savoring every inch of my body. His kisses leave a trail of warmth and a slight sting of absence along my breasts and down to my belly. He moves to his knees and I wrap my legs around his body. But Nathan lingers there, looking down at me. I start to feel self-conscious and without thinking I move my hands to over my breasts. He reaches down and pulls my hands gently and holds them by my side.

  “Let me look at you.” I can feel the blush spread through my cheeks and drift down over my body. He releases my hands and grasps my hips and pulls me onto his lap. I feel exposed as his fingers start to trace the inside of my thigh but any thoughts or fears I have disappear when he slides his fingers into my sex and rubs his thumb gently across my clit.

  I push upward against his hand and feel the strength of his erection against my thigh. I am grasping the sheets and feel my body building in anticipation and he continues to rub and push deeper inside of me. He places his other hand low on my belly and pushes gently. The added pressure intensifies the feel of his fingers inside of me and I am suddenly gripped with and orgasm that leaves me shaking and gasping for breath.

  “Are you on birth control?” His question surprises me and when I open my eyes and look at him he is watching me intently. I manage to nod. “I am clean. Do you trust me?” I nod again.

  He places his hands back on my hips and I think he is going to shift me down but he pulls me closer and I feel his cock slide firmly into my still convulsing sex. It feels incredible and I feel myself pushing against him, wanting him deeper inside me. He feels the urgency of my body and pulls me closer until I can barely stand it. I feel like I am almost going to rip in two with his fullness but it is incredible. When he starts to move his hips I let out a loud moan and I feel like I am going to scream as his rhythm becomes faster and more insistent and he pulls me deeper which each thrust.

  I feel totally lost in the experience, like he has taken me over entirely. There is part of me that is a little frightened by how much I like it. I am amazed at how gentle and firm he can be in the same moment. He sweeps his arms under my shoulders and lifts me up without a pause and the shift in position sends me over the edge. In a few strokes I am shaking and my orgasm explodes over my body. I grip his shoulders as I cry out and he pulls me tightly to his chest as his entire body stiffens and the warmth of his release fills me.

  Our sweat mingles as he clings tightly to my body and we both struggle to regulate our breath. He slowly leans forward, lowering me into the waiting bed with his chest still pressed to mine. He pulls back enough to look at me and his eyes are searching mine. He looks as if he is going to speak, but instead he moves in for another deep kiss and then settles in by my side. I am again partially covered by his body and wrapped in his embrace. I never want to move again.

  “What are you thinking, Isabella?” He whispers and traces my cheek with his hand.

  “Is this what it supposed to be like?”

  He looks at me quizzically. “Is what supposed to be like?”

  “Sex.” I whisper. “Is this what it’s usually like? I’ve only had sex with Christopher. And...”

  “And?”

  “It was fine and all. But this. Is this what it supposed to be like?” I’m mumbling the words off into the ceiling; aware that it’s a strange thing to ask but too exhausted and amazed to stop myself.

  He turns my face to his and searches my eyes and I can tell he is trying to see if I am joking. I am not.

  “Yes.” He says softly. “This is what it is supposed to be like, Isabella. But no, this is not what it is usually like. I’ve never experienced anything like it, like you.” And he is not joking either.

  I find the intensity of his gaze hard to withstand so I look away and find myself watching his clock. As my eyes start to focus I register the time. It is 7:00.

  “Oh crap!” I exclaim and clumsily struggle out of bed. “I’m going to be late.” I look around his floor for my clothes and really don’t want to walk back to my apartment in my riding gear. I glance at him before picking up his black t-shirt from last night. “A
nd you’re going to be late.” He just watches me amused as I throw on his shirt. “WE are going to be late.” I emphasize the we, but he doesn’t seem as worried about how that will look as I am.

  “Come back to bed.” He says calmly. “If WE are going to me late, we might as well make it count. Are you stealing my clothes?”

  “Yes. I don’t want to traipse across Hanover in last night riding clothes.” Exasperated, I pull on his boxers.

  “You think my underwear is better?” I can tell by his arching eyebrow that he thinks I am mistaken.

  “It’s a college town. People wear all sorts of crazy stuff.”

  “Let Eric drive you at least.”

  “Seriously? I think he might know whose underwear I am wearing.” I grab my keys from my riding pants and hurry out of his bedroom for the door.

  “I think he might know anyway.” He laughs. “We’ll pick you up at your apartment at 7:30.”

  “I can drive myself.” I call out as I race out the door to the hallway. I am grateful to hear the elevator bell but the feeling is short lived as Eric steps out with the morning paper and two cups of coffee. We are equally surprised to see each other. Clearly Nathan’s comment was more warning than guess. I’ve interrupted their morning coffee before work. Eric’s eyes sweep briefly over my body and I am sure he has noted my attire. Before he can completely master his professional mask I think I catch a glimpse of resignation. I wonder how many women he has caught sneaking out of his boss’s suite.