Confusion: (a love story)

  “Oh, just some small stones. Heart shaped moonstones to be exact.”

  The moment the words are out of my mouth he stops in the middle of the dance floor and grabs me by both of my shoulders. His eyes are full of real fear and it is clear to me that this is a message that he understands.

  I’m suddenly afraid and look around for Aubrey and see that he has turned his back and is headed for the door. He has missed this change in conversation. The next person to walk through the door misses nothing. It is Nathan, and he looks pissed.

  “Isabella! Tell me everything.” Grigori shakes me gently and sounds frantic.

  “I don’t know. Someone has been leaving me moonstones. At my apartment, at the barn, at work, at soccer. And someone has bugged my apartment. It’s why I left. It’s why I have security.”

  Grigori grips me hard and kisses my forehead, all the while mumbling what sound like angry Russian curses. He looks up and sees Nathan and Aubrey across the room.

  “Isabella, listen to me. You need to leave. You need to let Nathan take you somewhere safe and stay there until I take care of this. You are not safe. Get your things and go. Do you understand me?”

  I nod at him and then watch as he heads straight for Nathan and Aubrey. They seem as surprised as I am and the three of them soon fall into a heated conversation. I decide to heed Grigori’s warning and head the coat check to grab my purse and shawl.

  I grab my phone out of my purse and have the number dialed and the phone to my ear as I turn to walk away. It is then that I feel the cold steel of a gun on my bare back. I man with shaggy brown hair and a thick accent tells me to keep walking as my father picks up.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi Daddy.”

  “Hey Pumpkin! Good to hear from you. You doing OK?”

  At this point the man pushes the gun further into my back and I know that it is a warning that he can hear and that I better be careful. He leads me down a long corridor and around a corner toward an empty room.

  “Yeah, I’m good. Actually, it turns out that right now isn’t a great time to talk for me.”

  “OK Pumpkin, well call back when you have a chance. But before you go, how’s that old hound of mine?”

  “Oh well, that’s actually why I called. He doesn’t seem to be doing so hot. I think he may need a vet.”

  “Oh no. Do you need me to call someone for you?”

  “No, I think I’ll find someone local. I think there is a vet just down the street and around the corner.”

  “Ok Honey. I love you.”

  “I love you too Daddy. And tell Mom and Aubrey I love them too.”

  “Will do, Pumpkin. Take care.”

  At that the line goes dead and I hope and pray that my father is quick to pass on my message to Aubrey. Long ago we came up with the silly tradition of him asking about our old hound as code. Never once did I think that I would actually use it.

  Now that the distraction of my phone call is over I have a few seconds to take in the gravity of my situation.

  I am standing in a large ballroom filled with tables and chairs. We are quite a distance from the main ballroom and I doubt that anyone would hear me if I screamed. The man with brown hair has backed away from me and is just watching me. He is holding a gun with a silencer and his eyes are a cold flat black.

  This is what I get for tempting the cosmos.

  “Who are you?”

  “My name is Bagrat Vepkho. And I am the man who is going to kill you.” His voice shakes a little and he almost sounds sad. It’s confusing emotion coming from a man who just told me he was going to kill me.

  “I don’t understand. Why? What have I done to you?”

  “You have done nothing, little flower, but be loved by an evil man.” His words just perplex me even more.

  “Who? What are you talking about?”

  “Grigori Bashmakov.” He almost spits the name. “He took my love and now I will take his.”

  “I don’t understand? What did he do to you?”

  “Ah, so he does not trust you with his sins?” He smiles smugly. “Eight years ago he was sent to my country to assassinate me. He is a killer. That is the man you love.”

  The man pauses as a wave of pain and anger pass over he features. I am afraid to say anything to set him off. Eventually he looks up at me and I can see that he is holding me responsible. I’ve never seen anyone look at me with so much hate.

  “But he messed up. My wife. my whole world, got in the car that morning not me. And he killed her. I could have killed him sooner, but I want him to know what it feels like to lose. I want him to know what it feels like to have your heart ripped from your chest.”

  “But why me?” I’m still confused. “Grigori and I aren’t in love.”

  “That is where you are wrong little flower. He loves you. I can see it. After eight years, you are the first woman he has looked at with love.” He pushes the gun higher. “And so you must die.”

  At that moment Nathan and Aubrey come through the door and Bagrat pulls me to his chest. I am facing him and cannot see the two men behind me. For a moment there is nothing but silence.

  “Ah Dr. Graham, you are not supposed to be here. You are supposed to be in Chicago. This is not about you. I have no wish to make an enemy of you or your family. You should go.”

  I start pleading silently for Nathan to go. I just want him to be safe. No matter how angry and hurt I am, it would devastate me if something happens to him because of me.

  “That is the woman I love in your hands.” I can feel the tears start to fill my eyes at Nathan’s words. “This is about me and if you harm her you and your family will know a hell like you could never believe.”

  As he finishes his sentence I hear him move closer and Bagrat steps back and presses the gun to my head. I freeze and look over his shoulder to see Grigori standing several feet back. He puts his finger to his lips to keep me quiet and raises his gun.

  “I do not have a family anymore. I have nothing left. Grigori must know my pain.”

  I can feel his grip tighten around me and I know that he is about to pull the trigger. Before I close my eyes, Grigori mouths the words I’m sorry.

  With the sound of gunfire I am falling. Bagrat falls against me and I collapse against one of the tables and slide to the floor. I panic under his weight and frantically push him off of me. Suddenly his body is pulled from me and I look up to Grigori, Nathan, and Aubrey.

  I look down and can see that I am covered in a fine mist of blood. The shock starts to set in and my ears start to ring and I realize that I have to get up and get out of there. As I struggle, the three men all reach for me and I surprise us all with a frightened shout.

  “Don’t touch me!”

  They all take a step back. Grigori watches me closely with the others and then steps forward and kneels at my feet. He extends his hand to me slowly and whispers softly, “Ya drug ot Isabella Scott.”

  I look into his ice blue eyes and remind myself that this is the man that just saved my life. I can see in his eyes that what Bagrat said was true. I don’t know if it is love, but there is clear affection there. I am afraid and overwhelmed but this is a man who deserves my gratitude.

  I take his hand and he pulls me to standing but I can’t help but step back when he moves to hold me up. I look down at my arms covered in blood and I just want to escape. No, I need to escape.

  “I need a bathroom.” I whisper and the men step aside to let me go. We pass Eric and Luka on the way out and Grigori motions over to the body. I am not sure what Luka is going to do, but I have a feeling it won’t involve the police. Nathan asks Eric to go and get the car and pull it around to the back.

  Grigori, Nathan, and Aubrey follow me into the hallway and I walk past the first bathroom to one further down the hall. Finally, I stop and look at them.

  Nathan’s face is guilt ridden and for a moment I feel sorry for him. The fact that Bagrat knew that he was in Chicago tells me that the situation may be
more complicated than it seems, but I’m too overwhelmed to figure it out right now. The urge to run is too strong.

  Aubrey looks at me more thoughtfully and I realize that he can tell that I am planning something. I know that I have to act now before he can figure it out.

  Finally I look at Grigori. His eyes are filled with remorse and I can tell that he blames himself for everything that has happened. I don’t know how to tell him that I don’t blame him and that I feel nothing but gratitude. I step toward him and kiss him gently on the lips and whisper, “Ya drug ot Grigori Bashmakov.” And then turn and walk away.

  The first thing I do when I get to the sink is splash my face and arms with water to wash away the dusting of blood. I know I don’t have much time before Aubrey figures out what I’ve done and I want to be able to make it through the crowd without gathering attention.

  The second thing I do is take off my shoes. The heels are sexy and perfect for a graceful turn around the dance floor but they aren’t much good for running. It’s strange how in a moment like this I can still hope that one of the men will pick them up for me. These are expensive shoes.

  After only a few seconds at the sink I am out the other entrance to the restroom. I chose this one because there are two doors and one of them exits on the far hallway from where my escorts stand. I wrap my shawl around me and hurry back through the hallway.

  I head out the front entrance to avoid Eric and can’t believe my luck when I see Annette walking toward her car parked out front.

  “Annette! Can I ask you a huge favor?” She looks at me and I can tell that she is confused by how I look.

  “Sure, Isabella. What’s going on?”

  “I need a ride to the barn. It’s an emergency.”

  “You don’t look dressed for the barn.” She looks me over and grimaces at my lack of shoes. Her curiosity and the delay of talking with her so long is making me nervous so I just grab her arm and head toward the car. She follows my lead and we jump inside.

  “It’s a real emergency. Can we just go? Now?” I let out a sigh of relief when she starts the car and heads up the road toward the barn.

  “Can I ask what is going on?”

  “I don’t really want to talk about it. I just need you to drop me off at the barn. And I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell anyone that you did so. You don’t have to lie if someone asks, but just wait until you alert anyone else.” I can tell by her nervous glance that she is really worried. “Look, I know this is strange, but please just do this for me. Just drop me off and then give it some time.” After a minute she finally nods her head.

  “OK Isabella, but promise me that you are going to be safe.”

  “I am. I just need a little time.”

  For the rest of the ride I compose a couple of e-mails. I send one to Dr. Sandling letting her know that I will be taking off a few weeks due to a family emergency and that I understand if she needs to replace me and I am sorry to leave her so suddenly. I send one to Eliana and my mom letting her know that I will be gone for a few weeks and not to worry.

  I send one to my dad letting him know that the hound is good but needs some space to rest and feel safe. Finally, I compose one to Nathan and Aubrey. I tell them that I am sorry but I need to think. I tell them not to worry and that if anything goes wrong, Aubrey will know about it.

  Annette actually drops me off as asked but I can tell that she is very nervous about it. I’m a little afraid that she will go back on our agreement and go straight back and start telling people where I am.

  I have to hurry.

  I run for the tack room and open my tack trunk. At the bottom is a black bag with everything I need. I tear off my dress and throw on the jeans and black t-shirt and pull on the black boots as quickly as possible. I make sure I have the cash and passport in the backpack. I go ahead and push send on the e-mail to Nathan and Aubrey and then drop the phone into my purse and leave it all in the tack truck.

  On the way out I stop by and give LB a kiss on the nose and leave a note on his stall door asking the barn manager to exercise him while I am gone. In a matter of about 3 minutes I have finished this all and am heading out across the field.

  When I reach the crossroads I see the headlights of a truck come over the hill. I flag it down and am relieved to see another face I know. The driver works at the barn cleaning stalls and delivering hay. After giving him a story about being stranded by a friend who was supposed to come but didn’t, he happily agrees to take me into Lebanon so I can meet other friends for dinner.

  In Lebanon he drops me off with a smile and a wave at the local Italian joint and I wave back and smile. As soon as he is gone I run the 4 blocks toward the bus station. Before going in I pull my hair back and put on a black wig and then a hat.

  No one seems to even look at me as I pay for a ticket on the next bus to Albany, NY. To them I’m just some young girl, probably headed home. I smile at my luck as I settle into my seat. No one will ever look in Albany. No one ever runs to Albany.

  From there I jump on a plane to Montreal. Or rather, Isabella Aubrey takes a plane to Montreal. From there I am off to Berlin and then Athens. Finally I take a tiny plane to the Island of Crete. I catch a ride with a goat herder to Matala and he directs me to his cousin who happens to rent a room to tourists.

  It is late in the night and I am not even sure what day it is when I collapse onto the bed and fall into a deep sleep. I am exhausted, both physically and emotionally, but I know that I have made it to safety.

  Chapter 23

  Eight Days Later

  Over the course of the week I have settled into a quiet routine. I wake up in the morning and go for a run over the steep hills and pastures. The goat herders seem to know me now and always wave and occasionally stop me and give me an orange. I’m starting to get the impression that they think I should eat more.

  The island of Crete is beautiful with its sweeping vistas of the Messara Bay, red and brown cliffs, and orchards of orange and olive trees. Matala holds a special place in my heart with its maze of caves and the private red sand beach tucked into a cove. It is a beautiful place to disappear to.

  After my run I usually head back and have brunch with Korina. She owns the house where I am renting an apartment and over the course of the week we have gotten close through lots of wine and laughter. She doesn’t really ask me any personal questions but just looks at me like she knows I am running from a broken heart.

  The thing that has become clear to me over the last week is that there are a lot of things that I should be upset about, but there is only one that actually hurts. I keep trying to talk myself out of it, but I miss Nathan.

  The night with Bagrat does haunt me and I wake up at least once a night from a nightmare that ends with the feeling of being trapped beneath his bleeding body. But it is starting to get a little easier and I think I should probably head home soon and face everything that happened. For all I know the police did get involved and I probably look like a fugitive.

  The thing that is keeping me here now is knowing that when I get back I will have to spend time with Nathan. I am sure he is furious at me for running. I am sure he has decided that he is better off without me. I never got to hear his excuses for leaving me, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they included the fact that he is still in love with Sarah.

  After brunch I bathe myself in sunblock and throw on a swimsuit and pair of shorts. I wave to Korina as I head out the door and hike over the small mountain to the red sand beach. My daily swim in the cool sea washes away some of my thoughts and by the time I settle on my beach blanket I am grounded again by the beauty of the sea.

  Most of the time I am the only one here. Occasionally, other tourists make the hike or charter a boat to bring them into the cove. They usually acknowledge me but leave me in peace to sunbathe. Every afternoon around 3:00 Michail pulls into the cove on his boat and drops off a basket from Korina. Michail is the charter boat operator and we have become friends as well. He
seems like he is about 15 and he usually sits with me for a while and talks about his dreams of college in America or Britain. He is a sweet boy and often brings me candied figs in addition to the wine, bread, and cheese from Korina. Everyone is always trying to feed me here.

  Today it is quiet and after an hour of reading I start to drift off to sleep. At around 3:00 I wake up from my nap and see Michail rounding the cove and headed toward the beach. I roll over onto my belly and drift off again as I wait for him to pull the boat up and come over.

  I wake up with the change of light as a shadow stretches over my face. My first emotion is confusion when I see the black wing tips in the sand rather than the sandy toes I am accustomed to. It may be my sleepy sun-soaked brain but it takes me a few seconds to trace the outline of the figure up and to comprehend what I see. Nathan.

  He is standing above me, holding the basket from Korina and staring at me with an intensity that sends a shiver racing over my warm skin. I can’t tell if he is angry or surprised to see me. I feel desperate to reach up to touch him and know that he is real. It takes every ounce of control that I have not to wrap my arms around him and beg him to forgive me and take me back. It is my pride that stops me. I know that he wants me safe, I just don’t know if he wants me.

  I sit up and wonder for a minute if he is going to join me or just stand there. Outlined with the sun and the Messara Bay at his back he is ever the god that I remember. Even here in the land of gods he stands out. I trace every inch of him and try to commit it to memory. As my eyes drift from his clenched jaw to his piercing stare I try to think of something to say. But the only thing that comes to mind is: you are so beautiful.

  “You are so beautiful.” His voice is a warm growl and I can feel the muscles of my stomach tighten and tremble. His eyes travel over the length of my body and when our eyes meet it is clear to me that he can see the effect he is having.

  He finally sits next to me but rather than saying anything else he begins unpacking the basket. It is full of the normal cheese, bread and wine but has chocolate and fruit as well. I smile at the image of Korina packing in the sweets to help things along. She must have known that Nathan was the one holding the other half of my heart. Nathan looks up at Michail who is standing at the boat and shifting nervously from foot to foot.