A Son's Vow

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “Why not?” She was thoroughly confused now.

  Melissa shifted again, this time perching on the edge of the couch. “Because I think he’s falling in love with you, or is well on his way.”

  Love? “Are you sure?”

  Biting her lip, Melissa nodded. “It was pretty apparent this morning. It made me realize that he’s probably been attempting to hide his interest from both York and me as well as you.”

  Hannah knew she was blushing from her head to her toes.

  “This morning, when we were all looking at your arm, his expression was unguarded,” Melissa continued. “Every time you weren’t looking his way, he was staring at you with such concern and tenderness . . . Well, it sure looked like love to me.”

  As those words rang in her ears, Hannah gulped.

  “That’s the other reason why I came back early today. I wanted you to be aware of his feelings.”

  “Danke.” She felt shy and awkward. How was she supposed to respond to her boss about her neighbor’s interest in her?

  If Melissa was put off by her lack of response, she didn’t show it. Instead, she said, “I wanted to talk to you about Rob’s feelings, but even more than that, I wanted to see if you would like me to do anything about it.”

  What could Melissa do? This was between her and Rob and maybe her parents. Wasn’t it? “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

  “I or York could speak to him,” Melissa said quietly, resolve thick in her voice. “We could tell him that there’s no way you would ever return his feelings. I could tell him that he’s making you uncomfortable and that he needs to keep his distance from you.”

  Hannah felt as if all the air had just left her body. “Please—”

  Melissa’s expression was intense, giving Hannah a peek of what she must look like in her meetings at the bank. “I don’t want to interfere in your life, but I would feel terrible if he was bothering you and you had no one to help you. Like I said, you’re part of our family now. York and I want you happy when you come here, not worried about some neighbor of ours bothering you.”

  “Please don’t tell Rob anything. He’s not bothering me.”

  Melissa’s eyes widened. “Hannah, are you sure?” she asked. “I feel like I should remind you that Rob is not a naïve young man. He’s pretty worldly. I’m sure he’s had several serious relationships before. He might expect you to be as experienced as he is. All I would do is remind him that you’re a nice Amish girl. I won’t embarrass you.”

  Though she had no doubt that Rob had many more experiences with the opposite sex than she did, Hannah also was positive that he didn’t expect her to be like him. Besides, she’d had Paul. “I’ve been in a serious relationship before. I was almost engaged once, Melissa.”

  “Yes. Of course. I’m sorry. I guess I’m overstepping myself, aren’t I?”

  Hannah had little experience navigating conversations like this. Her mother had raised her to be a good Amish wife. Most of their conversations had revolved around household chores, raising kinner, and acting modestly.

  Since Paul’s death, her mamm had merely held Hannah and wanted to talk about her grief. Never had they talked about the future. Never had Hannah ever admitted that she wanted to have a life after Paul.

  Stepping carefully, she said, “I know you care about me and I’m grateful that you do. I don’t think you’re overstepping things at all. But because I know what love feels like, I have to admit that I’ve started to have some romantic feelings for Rob, too.” After taking a fortifying breath, she said, “Melissa, if he feels much the same way, I am pleased about this.”

  Melissa opened her mouth. Shut it. Blinked. Then leaned back in her chair. “I see,” she said at last. “Are your parents going to be okay with this?”

  Hannah shrugged. “I don’t know. Actually, they most likely won’t be. But they will respect my feelings. I had the life that was expected of me. I was looking forward to marrying Paul and I was more than happy to marry him and simply be his wife and raise our kinner. But the Lord had other plans.”

  “It seems He did.”

  “I know you don’t want me to be hurt—and I don’t want to be hurt, either—but I will not live my life with regrets or in fear of what might happen. Because of that, I intend to find out what will happen between me and this older, more experienced Englisher.” And this time, when they stared at each other, it seemed neither could resist smiling. For the first time, they were smiling woman to woman.

  It was as unexpected as Aaron’s attack.

  But instead of feeling scared and worried, Rob’s attention and her developing feelings for him felt wonderful. Almost as if she had finally reached a decision about a problem she hadn’t even known she had. Almost as if the Lord had given her a gift she hadn’t ever expected to receive.

  Life was too difficult to pass up the hope of something so wonderful.

  AFTER AARON WENT into the barn, Lukas said good-bye to Simon and Roman. Then he searched for Darla. He found her sitting in the kitchen, absently flipping through an old magazine. To his surprise, no one else was around. He wondered if maybe Patsy had encouraged the rest of their siblings to give her some space.

  “Hey. You’re done,” she said when he closed the door behind him.

  “Yeah. I just said good-bye to Simon and Roman. They’re going to head back to work. I’m going there, too, but I wanted to see you first.”

  “Is everything okay?” Every muscle in her body looked so tense, like she was in danger of breaking in two.

  He took a seat next to her at the table. “I think so,” he said with a reassuring smile. “Roman said a lot of good things. So did Aaron, actually. Simon and Roman are going to go with Aaron tonight to talk to Hannah and her parents.”

  Darla blinked. “Gut. That’s wonderful.”

  “Jah,” he said quietly. “I think he’s finally ready to move on. I’m sure he’ll be making amends to you, too.”

  The tears that she was clearly trying so hard to hold at bay began to fall. “I just want him back.”

  “I know.” Reaching out, he took her hand. “Just to let you know . . . tomorrow I’m going to pick you up from work. And then, we’re going to spend the evening together.”

  “Lukas, now ain’t the right time—”

  “Sure it is,” he interrupted. “It’s the best time.” More than ever, he wanted them both to have something to look forward to.

  As he’d hoped, some of the sharpness eased in her expression. “I should probably tell you that you’re gettin’ awfully bossy.”

  He raised his brows in mock annoyance. “Getting? And here I thought I was bossy all the time.”

  Her lips twitched. “Some of those times are worse than others.”

  “This is one of those times, I’m afraid.” Pushing forward, he said, “So, this is what you need to do. You need to decide if you want to be here or at my house or in the middle of the field. But we’re going to spend time together and work things out.”

  She bit her lip.

  “What time do you get off tomorrow?”

  “Four,” she said grudgingly.

  “I’ll be there at ten till, then. After a second, he added, “And Darla?”

  “Jah?”

  “I plan on asking you an important question tomorrow night.”

  “Again?” She pressed her palms on the top of the table, looking for all the world like she was annoyed.

  But he knew she wasn’t.

  “Yep. So, you might want to start thinking about your answer to me.”

  “I’ll do that.”

  When he left the room, he found Maisie and her brother Samuel standing in the hall, grinning like fools.

  “Looks like you still like my sister,” Maisie said.

  He winked at her. “I do.”

  “You better watch out, ’cause she’s stubborn,” Samuel said.

  “I know.”

  “If you try real hard, you might wear her down by Christmas, thoug
h,” the boy added.

  Lukas grunted. “Christmas? It’s only April.”

  Maisie giggled. “Maybe she’ll say yes by Thanksgiving, Lukas.”

  Patting her on the head, he said, “I’ll keep my fingers crossed.”

  As Lukas walked out of their house and headed back to his office, where there was no doubt a stack of work waiting for him, he couldn’t help but notice that he was smiling, genuinely smiling, for the first time in ages.

  Things, at last, were finally getting better.

  IT HAD BEEN a long day. A painful, scary day, too. But to Hannah’s surprise, it had also been filled with some special moments, she decided as she folded up her lunch bag and slipped it into her tote.

  After their heart-to-heart, Melissa had decided to stay home. But instead of taking Hannah right back to her house, she’d asked if Hannah would like to stay there for the rest of the day. Not as Christopher’s paid nanny, but as her friend.

  Hannah had instantly agreed.

  They’d spent much of the day playing with Christopher, chatting about Melissa’s job, York’s practice, and Hannah’s sister and brother. When Hannah offered to make them banana cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, Melissa asked if she could help. They’d put Christopher in his high chair and made twenty-four beautiful cupcakes—all while laughing. It had quickly become apparent that her boss’s talents were in finance, not in flour and sugar.

  Just as Melissa was changing Christopher’s diaper before loading him and Hannah into her car, there was a knock at the door.

  When Hannah realized the visitor was Rob, she let him in.

  “Hi,” she said shyly, Melissa’s information extremely fresh in her mind.

  Rob, on the other hand, seemed particularly quiet. “Hi, Hannah,” he said. “How are you?”

  “Fine,” she said automatically. Then she shook her head and forced herself to be more honest. “Well, I’m kind of fine.”

  While he attempted to figure out that reply, Hannah noticed that he was sort of dressed up—well, for Rob. Instead of his usual shorts, he was wearing a faded pair of khakis. Instead of his usual T-shirt, he was wearing a black golf shirt. It was untucked, and he had on Converse tennis shoes. His hair was damp, as if he’d just gotten out of the shower. He smelled fresh and clean . . . and he was staring at her face.

  “Your cheek is badly bruised,” he blurted.

  “I know.” She would, indeed, have a black eye by morning. “It looks bad, but it will fade in time.” Hoping to change the subject, she said, “You almost missed us. Melissa is about to take me home.”

  Rob turned to where Melissa and Christopher had just appeared. Linking his hands behind his back, he said, “That’s actually why I came over now. I’d like to take you home today, Hannah.”

  Hannah almost turned around to share a look with Melissa. Almost! Instead, she was simply grateful that Melissa had warned her about Rob’s feelings. Otherwise she would have been constantly wondering if she was misunderstanding his words.

  “Danke. I mean, thank you.”

  “So, that means you’ll let me?”

  He looked boyish and cute. She took a moment to remember how different Rob seemed to her now, compared to her first impression of him. She no longer felt compelled to only think of him as the Rosses’ neighbor, or the English man she was becoming close to.

  There was no need to label him or justify her feelings for him. Instead, he was simply Rob. And Rob was someone she wanted to be around as much as possible.

  “Yes, I mean, as long as Melissa doesn’t mind.” At last she turned around and searched her boss’s expression for a sign of what to do next.

  Melissa simply set Christopher down on the floor. “Rob, that would be super. Now I don’t have to load up the baby.”

  Reaching for Hannah’s tote, he said, “Good. I mean, that’s great. You ready?”

  Looking back at Melissa, she exchanged a smile. Then she turned to him. “Jah, Rob, I am ready.”

  After saying good-bye and making plans to be back in two days—Melissa wanted Hannah to stay home and rest—Hannah walked out the door at Rob’s side.

  He kept looking at her, gazing at her as if she were the most precious thing in the world.

  But instead of finding that awkward, Hannah liked it. And because of that, she realized that she really was ready. Ready to move forward and move on.

  Ready for anything.

  Chapter 23

  April 13

  Early the next morning, as Darla walked down Main Street, she couldn’t help but smile. It seemed that Lukas was determined to get her to say yes to him. She wondered what she would say when he asked that evening.

  If he finally told her those three words she’d been hoping to hear, she knew how she’d respond. She wanted to marry him more than anything, but it needed to be for the right reasons. Not to keep her safe or because they’d been friends for years and years.

  No, she wanted them to get married for love. Well, rather, she wanted him to love her the way she loved him. She’d pretty much loved him all her life and the recent turn of events had only somehow strengthened those feelings.

  If they had love, then she knew everything else would come together. Somehow, some way, they would work out their problems and one day marry. She wasn’t sure if or when that would happen, but she didn’t want to give up hope. More than ever, she needed hope.

  “Hey, Darla?”

  Looking up, she realized Aaron was standing outside the post office, hands in his pockets. Waiting for her.

  “Hi,” she said simply.

  “I know you’ve got to work. But . . . can we talk?”

  Immediately her muscles tensed. Looking at him warily, she noticed that Aaron wasn’t radiating anger. Instead, he was staring at her with such honesty it took her breath away. Here was the brother she’d always known.

  Swallowing, she nodded. “Jah. Amanda is in there now. I’m not actually supposed to go in today for another hour. I came to town early to run some errands.”

  The lines between his brows eased. “Danke.” Pointing to the park a block away, he said, “Is over there all right?”

  “Of course.” She followed him down the sidewalk, taking care not to look anyone they passed in the eye. She needed to concentrate on her brother, not on what everyone around them thought.

  When they got to the park, Aaron led the way to a bench that was apart from the others. “This will be gut. Ain’t so?”

  “Jah. It will be fine.” No one was around and they’d have relative privacy there. They sat down, side by side. Only about six or seven inches separated them. Darla doubted they’d been so close, either literally or figuratively, in weeks. Not since the fire.

  For a moment, they simply sat. The sun was bright and warm. Flowers were blooming in a bed nearby, their scent infusing the air. At last summer was near.

  “I wanted to talk to you about yesterday,” he said at last.

  She nodded hesitantly. Though she didn’t think he would snap at her or get mad, she didn’t trust his reactions anymore.

  He looked a little taken aback by her timid nod. Then, as if he was forcing himself to speak, he said, “Don’t be scared of me.”

  “I can’t help it,” she said after debating the wisdom of being so honest. “I am scared of you now.”

  He squeezed his eyes tight. “I guess I deserve that.”

  “I’m not trying to make you upset or cause you pain. I am simply telling you how I feel.”

  “I know. And you have that right.”

  His responses were so different from what she was now used to, she hesitantly said, “You . . . You seem better.”

  “I think I might be. After I lost my temper with Hannah, those men, they made me listen to them. They had some good points.”

  “What did they say?”

  “They talked about forgiveness and moving on.” He ran a hand over his face before continuing. “At first I thought everything I was going to hear was no different
from everything that had been shared a hundred times before.”

  “But?”

  “But then Roman talked about open arms.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Sometimes we humans like to think God has forsaken us when bad things happen. We fear that He has turned away because we ask for help and don’t get it.”

  “Like when five people die in a fire.”

  “Jah. Like then.” He sighed. “Roman’s words reminded me of the scripture verse from Deuteronomy. About how the Lord doesn’t need to be there to hold each of us.”

  “Why doesn’t He?” she blurted.

  “Because He has given us friends and family,” he said quietly. Stretching out his arms, he said, “And many of us have two good arms to help support other people.” He paused for a long moment.

  When he spoke again, Darla heard the tension in his voice accompanied by a curious mixture of regret and hope. “Roman reminded me that I’ve been ignoring everyone who has had their arms out. And, worse, I’ve even been hurting the people who have tried so hard to be there for me. Like you.” His voice cracked. “Oh, Darla, I’m so sorry. I know I’ve hurt you terribly. I canna believe I would ever sink so low.”

  Tears pricked her eyes. Never, never would she have imagined that Aaron would be so honest about his actions of late. And though a part of her wanted to immediately forgive him, the last few months’ hardships had taken their toll.

  She cleared her throat. “What else did Roman say?”

  “He said maybe if I told you I’m sorry and begged for your forgiveness, one day you might be able to do that.”

  He wasn’t looking at her. Instead, his elbows were resting on his knees. His shirtsleeves were rolled halfway up his arms, accentuating his muscles. But instead of looking strong he looked dejected.

  Maybe she was weak . . . or maybe she was stronger than she thought she was. Whatever the reason, she started to speak. “Aaron—”

  “Wait, Darla. Don’t let me off.”