Adam

by Marie Tuhart

  “Sex isn’t going to solve our problems.” She took a step back.

  “It’s a hell of a start.”

  “Absolutely not.” She put out her arms, palms facing him. “I’ve always given in to you, but not this time.”

  “This isn’t about giving in. It’s about moving on.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I accused you of leaking the information, but it was all so damning. We have something good together.” And he wanted to move forward, to get her back in his bed and his life.

  “You don’t want to move on, you want to shove everything under the rug and ignore it. And this is something that cannot be ignored.”

  “This isn’t over.” Why was she being so darn stubborn?

  “Until you’re willing to talk everything over rationally, without anger and demanding answers but with actual conversation, I have nothing more to say other than I want you to leave.”

  Adam drew a hand through his hair then turned and stormed out of her trailer. This wasn’t over. Not buy a long shot.

  ****

  “Cut!” Adam yelled, trying to rein in his temper.

  For the last week, Nicki had come to the set, done exactly as he told her, and then she went back to her trailer. She wouldn’t acknowledge him outside of the film. His temper was never far from the surface.

  Now they were down to the last days of filming, and the way things were going, he’d be lucky to get it done in a month.

  “This scene isn’t working,” Michael said, rolling off the bed.

  “It will.” Adam glanced at Nicki. She was really not into the scene. He didn’t blame Michael for being frustrated.

  Her face was strained, but he couldn’t—make that wouldn’t—change this part of the film. He saved the scene for the last because he knew the emotional impact it would have on all of them. It was the scene where Caroline told her partner she had miscarried. “Everyone take five.”

  Nicki walked away without a word.

  “You’re a selfish bastard.” Michael kept his voice low.

  “Me? Don’t think I haven’t notice you’ve been in my wife’s trailer the last few nights.” Adam’s fingers curled around the clipboard in his hand. Better than around Michael’s neck. Jealousy churned in his stomach.

  “We’re not sleeping together.”

  “I couldn’t care less.” Even as he uttered the words, he knew he was lying.

  “You’re lying.”

  Leave it to Michael to call him on it. But Adam couldn’t seem to control himself right now. “Watch your step, Michael.” He was still the director and Michael one of his actors. He couldn’t let Michael cross that line.

  “Everyone is watching their step around you, and I, for one, am tired of it.”

  Yep, called out and thrown to the floor. He turned to walk away.

  “Damn it.” The next thing Adam knew, his clipboard was yanked out of his hands and tossed on the floor, a furious Michael standing in front of him. “Can’t you see what you’re doing to her?”

  “It’s none of your business.” His eye began to twitch, something that hadn’t happened since he was a kid when confronted with something he didn’t want to acknowledge.

  “She’s hardly slept in two days. She’s barely eating enough to keep a squirrel alive.”

  Adam had seen the circles under her eyes, but chose not to find out the reason. “Her guilty conscience must be keeping her awake.” Where the hell was this bitterness coming from? This wasn’t him, but somehow, he couldn’t stop the words from flowing out of his mouth.

  Michael’s fist connected with his jaw. Adam’s head snapped back and he saw stars. Without thinking, he grabbed Michael by the collar.

  “Stop.” Nicki’s hands closed over his arm before he could do anything. “Let go.”

  When had she come back?

  He stared down at her. “No. This is between Michael and me.” Anger flowed through him. His wife was standing up for another man.

  “It’s between you and me. I’m the one you’re angry at. Not Michael.” Her fingers tightened on his arm. “Please, Adam. This isn’t something you want to do.”

  Adam shook his head as her words penetrated his thick skull. What the hell was he doing?

  He released Michael and took a step back. “Go away, Michael.”

  “Nicki?” Michael straightened his clothes.

  “Go, Michael.”

  “Yell if you need me.” He stalked to the other side of the set.

  “Protecting your new lover,” Adam sneered. “Isn’t Chris enough for you?”

  Her palm connected with his cheek, turning his head with the force of the slap.

  Silence descended.

  Adam stared at her, not believing she’d slapped him—Nicki, his wife, a woman who hated violence with a passion.

  His cheek stung. He shifted his jaw to make sure it still worked as he continued to stare at her. He was being a bastard, and he knew it. What the hell was wrong with him? He needed to figure that out. Without a word, he turned and walked away.

  Nicki swayed as she watched Adam walk way.

  Arms caught her as her knees gave way. She looked up into Michael’s face. “I shouldn’t have….” She couldn’t get the words past her lips. She began to shake. She was so cold as if she’d been put into a deep freeze.

  “It’s okay, Nicki. I’m here. I’ll take care of you.” Michael kept his arms around her as he guided her to her trailer.

  “I can’t believe I did that.” The scene of her hand slapping Adam kept replaying in her mind like a bad dream.

  “Maybe it will wake him up.” Michael gave her a gentle push until she sat on the sofa then he went to the small stove. “Tea.” He filled the kettle and rummaged in her cabinets.

  “I…how they hell am I going to face everyone?” She’d slapped Adam in front of the entire crew. Heat crept into her cheeks.

  “You’re not a temperamental actress, so everyone is going to let it go. Especially since Adam has been pushing your buttons since day one.”

  “But I’ve never hit him, ever.”

  “Maybe you should have.” Michael poured the hot water over the teabag and brought the mug over to her.

  “Violence isn’t the answer.” She cradled the cup in her hands, letting the warmth seep into her bones. How could she have done that? Her insides shook as the event replayed in her mind.

  “No, but something had to wake him up. He isn’t listening to any of us.” Michael rubbed her shoulders. “If you want me to, I’ll refuse to do the baby confession scene.”

  Her heart constricted. Michael was ready to put his professional life on the line for her. She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve such a sacrifice. “No, Michael. I won’t have you jeopardizing your career for me.”

  “Do you want me to call Kelsey and have her visit Adam?” He lowered his voice even though they were alone. “She wields a pretty mean flogger.”

  Nicki’s jaw dropped open. Michael and Kelsey were kinky? She blinked several times. “Wh—what?” she stuttered.

  Michael gave a chuckle. “One Dom recognizes another one. But your secret is safe.”

  “You and Kelsey?” Nicki couldn’t believe she was asking Michael about his sex life.

  “Yes, and so you don’t get the wrong idea, we’re both switches, although I’m the Dom most of the time.”

  “How…” Nicki shook her head. “Sorry that’s too personal.”

  “Ask your question.”

  “How do you make it work?” She waved her hand in the air. “The travel, being away from each other, the kink?”

  “We trust each other.” Michael took her hand in his. “It hasn’t always been an easy road, but we’re doing everything we can to make it work. The art of compromise.”

  “If only Adam understood compromise.” Then maybe they could get their marriage back. She sighed. She was wishing for the moon.

  “So about this scene…are you sure you can do it?”

  “No, I’m n
ot sure. I don’t have a choice; I have to do it.”

  “Then, my fair, leading lady, lean on me, and I’ll get you through it.” Michael hugged her. “I’ll take care of you.”

  ****

  “That’s a wrap,” Adam yelled four long days later.

  “It’s about time,” Nicki muttered, letting her shoulders sag. Three restless nights and Adam’s stony silences had taken their toll on her. All she wanted to do was pack up, and get the hell off Adam’s property and out of his life.

  “Nicki, wait,” Michael called, jogging to her side with the easy stride of a tall, fit man. His dark hair was tousled and his brown eyes sparkled with project-complete energy. He grinned down at her. “A group of us are getting together to celebrate the end of the filming. Kelsey will be joining us. Will you come? I know she’d like to see you again.”

  “No thanks, Michael.” She hated to be a damper, but her mood was no match to his. Celebrating was the last thing on her mind.

  “You can’t sit around here, moping.” He slipped his arm through hers in support.

  “I know you mean well, but I wouldn’t be good company.”

  “What if I ordered you to?”

  “Michael.” She laid her palm on his cheek, his two-day’s growth of facial hair tickling her hand. He wanted so much to help her, but she needed to be alone and do what she needed to do. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me during this movie. But you’re sadly mistaken if you think you can order me to do anything.”

  He laughed and then sobered, the corners of his eyes creasing. “If you change your mind, we’re going to Carlo’s in Medford.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

  Michael disappeared into the crew waiting for him. She was going to miss him. He’d really helped her get through the past week. Now, all she had to do was pack and escape Adam.

  An hour later, Nicki tiptoed up the stairs to Adam’s bedroom. Hopefully, he was in the director’s room, watching the last of the filming and putting everything together like he wanted. She wanted to get some of the things she’d left in his bedroom.

  Once inside the room, she went straight to the dresser and opened the drawer. She scooped out her clothing and dropped it into the shopping bag she’d brought with her.

  Her heart clenched when she found one of Adam’s sweaters mixed with her things. She picked it up, rubbed the soft fabric against her cheek, and inhaled his spicy scent.

  How she wanted to confront him, to make him talk to her about everything. To have him open up to her. But she didn’t know how. She placed the sweater back in the drawer and closed it. It was time to stop hoping for the impossible. Adam didn’t love her. She wondered if he ever had.

  “Nicki.”

  Her head snapped up and around. Adam stood in the doorway, watching her with a hopeful expression.

  She closed her eyes at the pain invading her heart. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Don’t.”

  His hands closed over her shoulders, and she jumped at the contact. She’d never heard him cross the room. She took a shuddering breath as his warmth surrounded her. She fought against the temptation to turn and bury herself in his arms. To lose herself in him. Would she ever stop loving him?

  “Adam.” She could barely get the words past the emotion blocking her throat. Her chest tightened with fear, remorse, and love.

  “The last week has been hell on both of us, but I can’t let you leave like this.”

  “You’re the one who accused me of leaking the story.” She pulled away from his seductive touch.

  “I was upset.”

  “And you think I wasn’t?” She faced him. “You weren’t the only one who was hurt by the story. I’ve always been the target of questioning looks or snide remarks.”

  “What snide remarks?” He reached for her.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore.” She stepped around him. She needed to get out of here before she said anything else. He didn’t need to know about some of the sleazeballs she dealt with on her scream queen films. It would only inflame his temper, and she really didn’t want to deal with it right now.

  “It does.” He put a hand over hers where she held the bag. “Tell me.”

  She shook her head. It would only poison his mind more to her being a scream queen or should she say, former scream queen. Now that she had the job with Miralar, she would concentrate on her costume design. She was starting a new phase of her life, and embarking on a lifelong, creative dream would bring her a bit of inner peace.

  “Who said what?” he asked, keeping his voice level.

  She sighed. He was like a dog with a bone and not about to let it go. “Nothing that hasn’t been said before and will probably be said again.”

  She’d never told him about the producers and directors she’d run into who had thought she’d fall into bed with them for a part or thought she was easy pickings. Even after she married Adam, the innuendoes had continued. She had never wanted to rouse Adam’s jealousy anymore than it was. She could handle these guys; she’d been doing it since she became a scream queen.

  “I want to know.”

  “It isn’t important.” She wanted to pull away, but he tightened his hold. She stared down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze. If she did, she’d lose it. She’d confess to the hassles she still encountered in the male-dominated field, and that was the last thing they needed right now.

  “If it wasn’t important, then why bring it up?”

  “Because we were talking about this latest tabloid baloney. It comes with the territory for movies stars, even scream queens. That’s my only point.” She wiggled her hand out of his hold. “I need to finish packing. Helen will be here in a few hours to pick me up.”

  “You’re leaving that soon?” His big hands hung helplessly at his sides.

  Sorrow clutched at her throat. She concentrated on packing so her resolve wouldn’t unravel. “There’s no sense in staying.”

  “Even if I asked you to?” There was a wistful tone in his voice, but she had to be strong.

  “Why would you?” Gathering her courage, she gazed up at him. She took in every detail of the face of the man she loved. A face that haunted her dreams and yet made her life worth living.

  “I don’t want you to go.” This time, his hands went to her waist, and his lips rested against her forehead.

  “It won’t work, Adam.” She almost melted into his arms. She wanted to believe he couldn’t live without her, but she knew he could. He’d managed quite well in the six months they were separated.

  “What won’t work?” His lips brushed her temple.

  “Our marriage. You have to let me go.”

  “Like hell I do.” His arms tightened around her waist. “I let you go once. I won’t do it again.”

  Cold swept through her body at his words. “You didn’t let me go; you walked away.”

  “But we’re together now.” His lips came closer to hers.

  She turned her head away and forced space between them. His arms fell from her waist. “No, we are not together. Adam, you haven’t faced your issues. Maybe I have issues, too. I don’t know. But assuming the worst about me based on a tabloid…that is very far from the kind of partnership and trust that should be natural in a marriage.”

  She crossed to the door. Had he followed her on those quiet feet of his? But no, he remained where he was, arms hanging limply by his sides. The sight of him was a knife to her heart, but this second chance had shown her exactly why their marriage had failed. Now she was clear-eyed. “Good bye, Adam.”

  Nicki managed to get down the stairs and close the heavy oak door behind her before her heart shattered into a million pieces. That was it. Her marriage was truly over.

  Chapter Ten

  Three long, lousy weeks and not a word from Adam. She had expected by now to hear from his lawyer at least. Nicki decided she wouldn’t wait anymore to get started with her life. She now sat in her lawyer’s office, going over what she wanted in the
divorce papers. It was time to sever the ties.

  “Ms. Masters, I have to urge you to think about what you’re doing.”

  “I have thought about it, Roland,” she told her lawyer. He was looking after her best interests, but she wanted this over.

  “You’re entitled to half of all that Adam owns.”

  “I know.” California, being a community property state, allowed her to take half of everything Adam had. She had no intention of doing it. “I don’t want half of anything.” She wouldn’t take from him.

  “Nicki, you told me you’ve decided to quit acting and do costume design full time. Your income will seriously decrease for a while. Think about your retirement. The money you get from Adam could set retirement up for you.”

  “No.” She kept her voice firm.

  “At least sleep on it.”

  “I’m not going to change my mind. I don’t want any ties to Adam.”

  “Is there anything I can say to make you change your mind?”

  “No.” She smiled to take the sting out of her refusal. “Roland, you’ve seen my investment portfolio. I could retire today and not struggle.”

  “All right.” He inclined his head and returned to the papers on his desk. “I’ll have everything drawn up and ready for you to sign by the end of the week.”

  “Thank you.” Nicki stood, shook Roland’s hand, and left the office.

  It was done. She’d filed for divorce. Goosebumps ran up her arms, and she shivered. The hollow, empty feeling that had plagued her since leaving Adam in Oregon now grew into a cavern a big as the state of Montana.

  With nothing but time on her hands, she wondered aimlessly around San Francisco’s Union square shopping Mecca. She found herself standing outside an antique clothing store. This was just the ticket to take her mind off Adam. A bell tinkled when she opened the door and walked in.

  Moseying through the racks of clothing, she picked out various outfits some from the thirties and forties. These would help her with the concept Miralar wanted for their new project.

  “Here, set those down here, dear.” A sweet soft voice called out to her.

  Nicki turned. A small, older lady stood by the counter, gesturing to a table. “Thank you.” She set her purchases down before going to another rack.