Adam

by Marie Tuhart

  “Sweetie, unless you’re planning to either gain or lose a lot of weight, these can’t be for you.”

  “What makes you say that?” Nicki peered over the rack at the woman.

  “They’re all different sizes, and unless I miss my guess…” Her gaze traveled over Nicki. “You’re about a size six.”

  “Good guess.” Nicki fingered a lacy nightgown and matching robe in her size. She was supposed to be looking for things to help her with her Miralar project, not for herself. However, she couldn’t drag herself away from the outfit.

  “Why don’t you try it on?” the woman urged.

  Nicki shook her head. “I have no place to wear it.”

  “Wear it for your man.”

  “I don’t have one.” Pain hit her heart. She would learn to live with the searing pain. Adam was gone from her life. This was her new reality.

  “Somehow, I find that hard to believe. You’re such a beautiful girl.”

  “Thanks.” She almost laughed at the word girl. No one had called a girl in ages, and today she felt about ninety.

  “Come, sit down and have a cup of tea.” The woman gestured to the small table already set up. “Tell Maggie all your problems.”

  “This isn’t necessary.” Nicki found she wanted to sit down and talk out her problems with someone who didn’t know squat about her or Adam.

  “Tea is always a comfort for me. Come sit, and I’ll go get the tea.” Maggie bustled out of the room and was back within minutes with a teapot.

  Nicki sat as Maggie took her seat.

  “What’s your name?” Maggie asked.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I should have introduced myself. I’m Nicki Masters.”

  “A nice name. Is it short for Nicole?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, Nicki, I can spot man trouble a mile away, but we can’t live without them, can we?” Maggie remarked as she poured the tea.

  “I don’t know. I think men are more trouble than they’re worth.” She forced a little smile as her heart squeezed.

  “Boyfriend seeing another woman?”

  “No.” Nicki took the teacup Maggie held out to her. “A husband whose work is more important than his marriage.”

  “Ouch.”

  “What is about men and their all-important work?”

  “Can’t help you there, dearie.”

  “Have you ever been married?” Nicki sat back in her seat and sipped her tea.

  “Oh yes, four times.”

  “Four?” Nicki almost choked.

  “Yes, four times, and all to the same man.”

  Nicki set her cup down before she dropped it. Four times to the same man? “Why?” The question escaped before she could stop it. “I’m sorry, that was rude of me.”

  “Oh no, dearie. I married him four times, because I loved him.”

  “Love doesn’t hold a marriage together.” It certainly didn’t hold her marriage together. She had no doubt that Adam loved her in his own way, and she loved him. But in the end, it hadn’t mattered.

  “Oh, honey, it does.” Maggie reached across the table and patted Nicki’s hand. “Let me tell you something about my Alfred. He’s a dear man, but he has never learned to relax.”

  “I can relate to that.”

  “But I couldn’t stop loving him. I walked away from him, because I thought it would get his attention. It didn’t.”

  Is that why she was divorcing Adam? No, it was time to move on. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened between you and Alfred?”

  “Alfred is what they call nowadays an alpha male. Bossy, arrogant, possessive, and controlling.”

  “Sounds like someone I know.”

  “There is a way to temper the alpha male. Mother Nature balances everything, you know. Use patience, love, and most of all, the feminine wiles God gave you.”

  “I’ve tried all those, and nothing has worked.” Nicki sighed. “I filed for divorce today.”

  “Trying to make him toe the line?”

  “No. I can’t live with the uncertainty anymore.” Was that the truth? Her stomach clenched.

  “Honey.” Maggie patted her hand again. “Uncertainty is a part of life, of marriage.”

  “I can’t live that way.”

  “I know I sound like I’m prying and feel free not to answer, but do you love your husband?”

  “With all my heart.”

  “Does he love you?”

  “I don’t know.” The admission pierced her heart, leaving it open, and exposed.

  “Has he told you he loves you?”

  “In the beginning, yes but not in a long time.” Nicki took a sip of her tea. “I don’t want to be second in his life.”

  “Then make him see what he’s doing.”

  “I’ve tried” Nicki stood and began pacing in the small space. Talking wasn’t helping. All it did was dredge up the past, making her feel like a failure, and making her wish for things she couldn’t have.

  “Make him realize you’re more important than his work. Convince him you need his attention as well.”

  “Nothing is more important to Adam than his work. Not to mention his insane jealousy and refusal to talk about the important issues.”

  “So cynical for someone so young.”

  “I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he accused me of something I would never do. I accepted a new job so I wouldn’t have to travel and be away from him, but he doesn’t seem to care.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t know how to show he cares.”

  “You got that right.” Nicki sat back down and toyed with her teacup. “Adam bottles everything up. He never shares his pain with me.”

  “Most men don’t.”

  “It’s more than that.” Nicki folded her hands into her lap. “We lost a child.”

  “Oh, my dear, I’m so sorry.” Maggie clasped her hands over her heart.

  “It’s been almost a year now, and I still feel the pain and guilt over the baby.”

  “How did Adam take the loss of your child?”

  “He walked out on me.”

  Maggie’s eyes widened and her mouth opened, but no words came out.

  “I know,” Nicki continued. “I couldn’t believe he’d do something like that, either, but he did. I hadn’t seen him in person for six months, and then three months ago, we had to work together.”

  “And I’m guess sparks flew?”

  “Yes.” Nicki’s face grew warm. She’d didn’t even talk to her mother about her and Adam’s sex life. But something about talking to Maggie was soothing her soul, helping her accept what was happening in her life.

  “Hold on to that loving, Nicki. That’s what will get you your alpha male in the end. Trust me. He’ll come around.”

  “Loving him hasn’t done much for me but heartbreak.” Nicki blew out a breath.

  “What about your husband?”

  “What do you mean?” Nicki tilted her head.

  “You said he walked out on you when the baby died, but how does he feel now? Did he explain why he walked out?”

  “In a way.” Nicki’s insides tightened and she lowered her head. “It was my fault I lost the baby.”

  “No, it wasn’t.” Maggie’s firm voice caused Nicki to stare at her.

  “But…”

  “No, Nicki.” Maggie reached over and placed her hand on top of Nicki’s. “I’ve lost two of my children.”

  “Oh my God. I’m so sorry.” Nicki clasped Maggie’s hand. “And here I am going on about my loss.”

  Maggie shook her head. “No worries. I lost one before I barely knew he or she existed. The second one was stillborn.”

  “It was hard enough losing my baby at twenty weeks. You’re a very strong woman to survive a stillborn.” Nicki squeezed Maggie’s fingers.

  “I wasn’t at the time.” Maggie took a sip of her tea. “I was a mess and my poor Alfred wanted to make things better but didn’t know how.”

  Maggie’s words nudged at
Nicki’s brain. Was that how Adam felt? He’d said he thought it was for the best was the reason he left. As painful as it was she thought back to that day laying in the hospital bed.

  “Crap,” Nicki whispered. Now she could see it, the strain and anxiety on Adam’s face. He’d tried to speak several times, before whispering “I’m sorry” and walking out. “Adam was as overwhelmed as I was.”

  “Alpha men aren’t good at verbalizing their feelings.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know.” Nicki let out a little laugh. “But at least now I understand better.”

  “Are you still going to divorce him?”

  Nicki’s heart skipped a beat. “I have some thinking to do.” Nicki stood. “Thank you so much for the tea, the talk.”

  “Stop by anytime.”

  Nicki paid for her purchases, bid Maggie a goodbye and walked out of the shop. Memories bombarded her mind, both good and bad. Had she acted hastily in getting a divorce?

  After finding her car in the parking garage, she sat in it for a few minutes before shaking her head to clear her thoughts. She’d deal with this when she got home, because she needed time to process everything. But as she drove Maggie’s words stayed with her the entire drive.

  ****

  Adam rubbed is eyes and looked at the screen again. One more week and the film would be done. Then his real work would begin. He was going after Nicki.

  God, he missed her. He wanted her with him every minute of the day, but first, he had to get the film finished. He’d come to terms with the article in the paper. Hell, Chris had practically decked him when he’d come to the set the day after Nicki left.

  Chris hadn’t left a stone unturned in telling Adam what a jackass he was. Nicki would never leak details of her private life, and the only reason Chris said what he had was he knew it would make Nicki laugh. And it was time for Adam to pull his head out of his ass because this time he was going to lose Nicki for good if he didn’t shape up.

  Adam couldn’t fault Chris for his words, they were all true. Instead of trying to investigate the leak he blamed Nicki. His wife had made the same point. He needed to show he was on her side at all times.

  Once Chris left, Adam approached Michael. If anyone could ferret out the information it would be Michael. He was surprised when Michael agreed to help him. If Nicki’s friend believed in his good intentions, maybe he’d still have a chance with her. As he worked, Adam tried to keep the memories of a happy Nicki at bay. But seeing her face on the screen every second made his gut clench.

  He would hold it together until the film was done. He owed it to himself, to Nicki, and to Chris. Thinking about Nicki wouldn’t help him get her back into his arms and his life.

  “Hey Adam,” his assistant director, Pete, yelled as he walked into the director’s room.

  “What’s up, Pete.” Adam stood and stretched.

  “There’s a guy at the door. I think it’s the papers you’ve been waiting for from Chris. He said only you could sign for them.”

  “Great.” He and Chris had had a very long talk. The papers would give him the time off he dearly needed to win Nicki back. “Go over the last section and check for anything that doesn’t look right.” Adam believed in double-checking his own work.

  He sauntered out of the room to the front door where the delivery man waited. “Mr. Bainbridge?”

  “Yes.” This young man didn’t fit the image of a person who worked for Chris. He was a stickler for clothing. This guy wore a sweat shirt, a torn pair of jeans, and a pair of sneakers.

  “This is for you.” He held out a board. When Adam signed, he handed him the envelope.

  Adam frowned. Why was it so thick? What had Chris sent him? “Thank you.”

  He looked up to find the young man already in his car, and driving away. He shut the door, turned the envelope over, and stared at the return address. Roland Jamison, Attorney at Law. What the hell? These weren’t from Chris.

  Had some manic decide to sue him for something he had nothing to do with? He tore the envelope open and pulled out the papers. His eyes widened, and his temper flared as he read them. Divorce papers.

  How could she do this to him? To them? Damn it, he’d left her several messages telling her that as soon as the film was done, they would talk. But she didn’t wait.

  His fingers crushed the papers as he made a fist. Divorce wasn’t an option. Hell, it wasn’t even on the table. But how to show Nicki he’d changed? He laughed out loud. Had he really changed? Not where it mattered. He was still a jealous fool.

  But what the hell could he do? Striding into his office, he threw the envelope and crushed papers on his desk and plopped down into his leather chair. Adam stared at the wall fighting the urge to fly to California and confront his wife. He wanted to make their marriage work and he was sure Nicki did as well.

  He reached for the phone and punched in a number. “Hey Chris, its Adam. I need your help.” His muscles tightened after the words came out of his mouth. Men don’t ask for help. His father’s words echoed in his brain. “Fuck you, dad,” he whispered.

  “What?” Chris asked from the other end of the line.

  “Sorry, can you help me?”

  “What do you need? Something wrong with the film?”

  “No, it’s Nicki.”

  A loud sigh came over the phone. “Adam, how many times do I need to tell you that there is nothing between Nicki and me?”

  “I know there’s not.” His brain was finally accepting what his heart knew. “Nicki just served me with divorce papers.”

  “Shit.”

  “Yeah, so help me figure out how I win my wife back.”

  “You want my help?”

  “Yes.” Adam fought against yelling at Chris for stating the obvious. But he was willing to do anything to get his wife back after acting like a complete and total idiot for the last six months. “If anyone can help me, it’s you.”

  There was silence on the other end of the line before Adam heard a heavy chuckle. “I’ll help you, but you hurt Nicki again, you’ll have to answer to me.”

  “You have my permission to beat me senseless if I hurt her again.” His words surprised him, but they were true. He was determined never to hurt his wife again.

  “All right, let’s start with figuring out if Pete can handle the rest of what needs to be done on the film.”

  “He can.” Adam ground his teeth, but compromises had to be made if he was going to win Nicki back. And that had to be his priority, not the film. Because he wasn’t going to fail this time.

  ****

  Three days later, Nicki stretched her arms above her head, trying to ease the ache in her shoulders. She loved working at home as the afternoon sun streamed through the window. Sitting at her drafting board for more than an hour at a time was a mistake, but it was worth it. She had finished the last of the sketches from Miralar. She’d mail them off in the morning.

  She rose to her feet and arched her back. Oh, that felt so good. The doorbell rang. Maybe it was the UPS guy with the costume books she’d ordered the other day. Since the designs were now done, she could do some research and devote some time to her own costume design work. She’d been toying with making clothes at a reasonable price for other scream queens. Smiling, Nicki pulled open the door.

  “Hello, Nicki.”

  “Adam.”

  She stepped back as she gazed up at him. His face was lined with fatigue, his eyes filled with uneasiness, and his lips turned down. Hell, she hadn’t expected him to show up on her door step after the divorce papers had been delivered. She’d figured he’d just sign them and be glad he was out of her life.

  “Invite me in.”

  “No.”

  “Please.”

  He’d said please. Nicki debated for a moment then stepped back, allowing him to cross the threshold. She closed the door and leaned against it. “What can I do for you?”

  “Cut the crap.”

  “What’s got you so riled up?”r />
  “As if you don’t know.” He stalked down the small hallway, past her office, and library. She watched him as he stopped at the entryway to the kitchen/family room area. She was amazed he made it that far before realizing he’d never been in her house before.

  She’d taken advantage of the large family room to use part of it as her work area when she was designing on the drafting board. He glanced down the other hallway, which led to her bedroom and the spare bedrooms.

  “If this is about the divorce…” She scooted through the kitchen and made her way into the family room from the other side of the kitchen.

  “Damn right it is.” He glared at her. “No divorce.”

  “Be reasonable.”

  “Reasonable?”

  He stared at her with such intensity that a shiver crept over her spine. Not in fear, not in apprehension, but in hopefulness. He wasn’t yelling but trying to have a rational conversation with her.

  “Adam…”

  “You are my wife.” His statement was of a Dom who expected his words to be followed without question.

  Well, that was just too damn bad. She was through taking orders from him. She would stand her ground. “You can leave.” She gestured toward the door.

  “Oh, I’m not leaving.” A firm smile formed.

  A shiver of nervousness slid up her spine. What did he have up his sleeve now? With confidence she didn’t have, Nicki went into the family room and ignored him. Eventually, he’d get tired and leave.

  Instead, Adam sat down on the sofa as she gathered up her designs, separated them, and put them into neat stacks.

  “Looks like Miralar is keeping you busy.”

  She glanced over at him. What was his game now? “Yes, I’m enjoying the work.” She pulled out a padded envelope, slid the designs for Miralar into it.

  “You always enjoyed costume design. Why didn’t you do this from the beginning instead of acting?”

  His question got her full attention. Setting the envelope down, she turned to him. “I wanted to eat.” She gave a little laugh. “Honestly, Adam, I was a nobody when I hit Hollywood. Yes, I’d finished designed school, but still no one knew me or what I could do no matter what I did.” She tilted her head. “Why are you asking me about this?”