A Relationship...Or Something Like It

by Greene, Caroline

  I meet Zane at a coffee shop. He seems sweet and funny. We have the usual first date conversations about our jobs and hobbies. He pays for both of our coffees, and we split a pastry between us. Again, I don’t feel any instant sparks, but he is nice enough for a second chance if he asks. After that first meeting, I do not hear from him again, and I don’t mind at all.

  Eric is very friendly and outgoing. We both like the same type of books and movies and the conversation keeps flowing without any awkward pauses. I mention my plans to go to a murder mystery party hosted at Hillel House and that I am going with Jessica, David, and a few of their law school friends. Eric mentions that it sounds like fun and that he has been to a few of those events when he was in college and once he graduated, as a member of the under 30 Jewish community, he still goes occasionally. I go to the event as planned, and Eric shows up with his housemate, Peter. They sit at our table, and we have a great time talking.

  I do not hear from Eric for the rest of the week, however. I am a little disappointed because while it was not the fireworks and instant chemistry that I had with Kyle, I felt a little spark of something, and I think that he had potential and could grow on me. I decide to leave a message on his answering machine to let him know that I would like to see him again. It is very casual, just letting him know that I had a good time at the murder mystery dinner, and hope to see him again soon. My strategy works, and he calls me again to ask me to a movie. Jessica is excited.

  “He seems great! I liked talking to him at the party.”

  We go to the movie and end up having a spirited discussion. We hold hands during the picture, and he hugs me goodbye at the door. While at the theater, there was another movie playing that I mentioned that I would be interested in seeing, and he calls me the next day to invite me for dinner and that movie the next weekend. It feels good to have met someone with potential.

  We go to dinner at a Cuban restaurant and enjoy the strong coffee and split an order of fried plantains. The movie theater is within walking distance, so we leave his car in the restaurant parking lot, and we hold hands. He puts his arm around me during the movie. He drives me home and gives me a kiss on the lips. It feels very nice.

  Several more weeks go by, and he does not call. I have my pride and do not call him. Six months later, I am editing the wedding announcements and proofing the layout, and I come across one for Eric Stein and Diana Schwartz. I look at the happy couple and think, ‘Story of my life.’ I am wondering if I will ever find my B’Shert, my destiny. Eric had potential, but I am glad he didn’t break my heart.

  Chapter 41: Reconnecting With an Old Friend

  Speaking of Diana, the original one, my friend from high school and my college roommate, writes me a letter.

  April 6, 1994

  Dear Abigail,

  Happy belated birthday! Sorry I just remembered, and I hope you enjoyed your day. A lot has been going on since you were last home on New Year’s. Matt and I broke up for good. As much as I love him and always will, he cannot or will not give me the future that I want. A funny thing happened last month. He and I went to his cousin’s wedding and the date of one of the bride’s friends at our table and I got to talking. I gave him my number, and Colin and I have been dating ever since. He is wonderful. He is so smart and funny. I can’t wait for you to meet him. I know it is early, but I think this could be the start of something special. Hope things at your job are still going well. I have run into your parents a few times, and they always have clippings of articles to share. Please write back soon!

  Diana

  Typical Diana, I think. She is the only woman I know that could pull this off. Only she could meet someone when she is on a date with her long-term boyfriend. She has always had the best of luck with men from high school on up. Every guy in our crowd had a crush on her at one time or another, even our friend Jesse, who has since determined that he is gay, thought he had a crush on her when he was experimenting with being straight. I shake my head with amusement but wish I had some of whatever seems to attract men to her.

  I feel bad about not being in touch with my friend for a while, so I answer her letter immediately.

  April 8, 1994

  Dear Diana,

  I was very glad to get your letter and thanks for the belated birthday wishes. My friends who live in a house down the street threw a potluck dinner in my honor, but my friends Rick and Susan stole my thunder by announcing their engagement! I’m only joking. I am very happy for them. Not much is new with me on the dating front. My friend Kathryn tried to fix me up with her boyfriend’s roommate, but he was totally not my type. So tell me more about Colin. What is he like? What does he do for a living? I am happy you met someone, and I can’t wait to meet him. The next time I plan to go home is over Memorial Weekend. It is usually a slow news period.

  My main job is still formatting and proofreading, but I am getting more and more article assignments. I recently interviewed three interesting women who founded the Florida Breast Cancer Foundation (FBCF) as a human interest piece. They are a grassroots organization, and they are dedicated to spreading awareness through education, advocacy, and research. They were interesting to talk to, and I was happy to promote their cause. I hope I get more articles like this in the future.

  I will plan on seeing you Memorial Weekend, and I can’t wait to meet Colin.

  Your Friend,

  Abigail

  There have been a lot of changes at the house lately. Last week, Miranda’s robustly, healthy mother who I was just talking to at Susan’s parents’ house, had a stroke. Miranda has been going back and forth between work and the hospital. In fact, I have been covering a lot for her at work lately. The doctors were able to save her mother’s life, but she is going to need a lot of rehabilitation when she is able to go home. Miranda is considering moving back to her childhood home once a new roommate is found to help out her dad with the care.

  On a happier note, Kathryn and Evan got officially engaged. Once the semester ends and Adam is able to move into the graduate dorms, she will be moving in to Evan’s apartment. With two of my good friends leaving the house, the prospect of finding new roommates is making me think of a change.

  My dad has mentioned that he thinks grandma’s health is also getting to the point where he would like her to be closer to him. He is considering moving her to a graduated assisted living apartment complex in Michigan where he and mom can be more readily available. This is making me feel homesick for Michigan and considering the possibility of finding a job closer to home. The letter from Diana reminded me of the good times I had growing up with my friends and family. Plus, as much as I hate to admit it, living this close to Kyle and it not mattering to him, has taken an emotional toll on me. I am wondering if living here and its memories are too much of a reminder of those hurt feelings and if it’s holding me back from moving on. I think I am going to put my feelers out at Michigan papers during my visit.

  Chapter 42: Another One With “Potential”

  On the Thursday night before Memorial Weekend, my dad picks me up at the airport. He gives me a kiss on the cheek. I can tell he is happy to have me home for this visit. I tell him about the changes at the house and my feelings of homesickness. He looks at me.

  “Mom and I would be glad to have you back. We are very proud of what you have accomplished in your career but if being home makes you happier, we will support you.”

  I think for a minute.

  “It’s strange. When I graduated, I wanted to live anywhere but Michigan but lately, I have been wondering if being in Florida is holding me back emotionally. I know I shouldn’t, but it makes me think of Kyle and what could have been. Plus, I have been homesick. So much has been going on with my friends and family that I feel I have missed out. I am not planning anything yet, but it is definitely on my mind.”

  Mom greets me when I walk in the door.

  “Diana just called you. I told her you’d call as soon as you arrived.”

  I smile. �
��I have to hear all about her new boyfriend!”

  I call Diana, and it turns out that it is Colin’s 25th birthday, and he is having a get together. She wants me to come so that we can catch up and for me to meet him. I get a time and an address, and we make plans.

  When I hang up, mom gives me a concerned look.

  “I don’t know if I should tell you this or not.”

  I have a feeling that I know what this is about.

  “Have you been talking to Ruth about Kyle updates? What is going on?”

  Mom answers, “Yes, Kyle is engaged. In fact, Ruth is making them their Chuppah cover.”

  I am sad but not really surprised. Given that Kyle and Diana are living together, they were serious to begin with. Everyone seems to be moving on with their lives except me, who seems stuck in the past.

  In spite of the news I received, or maybe because of it, I am determined to enjoy myself at Colin’s party tonight. I put on my most flattering pair of jeans and decide on a new top I received as a birthday gift that I haven’t worn yet. The music is loud and a lot of people are dancing when I arrive. Colin and Diana seem incredibly happy, holding hands while greeting their guests. They even look alike with their tall, athletic builds. Colin seems friendly, and I like him immediately and unlike most of the other men Diana has gone for, he is very definitely not my type.

  A lot of the people at this party are Colin’s friends, and I glance around to find somebody that I know. I sway to the music. I feel somebody tap me on the shoulder. I turn around, and it is a dark-haired, broad shouldered man about my age or a little bit older.

  “Hi! My name is Grayson. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m a friend of Colin’s.”

  I introduce myself as a friend of Diana’s and explain that I am visiting from Florida. Grayson asks me if I want to dance. I accept, and we have a great time. When the music lulls, we sit at a table at the corner with our drinks. He tells me that he and Colin have been friends since high school, and he is studying at the Catholic college to become a social worker. At the end of the evening, he asks if he can call me this weekend. I give him my parents’ number thinking it would be fun while I am in town, nothing serious as I am only in town until Monday. I drive home flattered to have gotten the attention from a handsome man. I know deep down we are too different for anything serious with me being Jewish and Grayson Catholic, and it does not sound as if either of us would be willing to convert. This is just something fun for now. If Kyle is getting on with his life and getting married then I need to move on, too. Maybe I could have “a few dates” without having a relationship!

  As he said he would, Grayson calls me for dinner the next night. We go to a mid-priced hamburger place and seem to have a lot to say to each other. After dinner, we find an old hotel that offers dancing. We order drinks at the bar and dance most of the night away. When he walks me to the door of my parents’ house, he leans in and gives me a peck on the lips. I do not want any misunderstandings.

  “You do know I live in Florida for now. I am not looking for anything serious, and I want to take things slowly.”

  He smiles. “I like you Abigail and want to get to know you. I understand where you are coming from.”

  The next afternoon, Diana calls me all excited.

  “I understand that you and Grayson have been hitting it off. He is cute! He and Colin were talking, and we were wondering if we could all go to a movie tonight.”

  I agree and that evening is fun as well. We see a new romantic comedy and then we go to my parents’ and hang out in the living room just as Diana and I used to in high school and college. The four of us get along great as we argue over words in a rousing game of Scrabble. Grayson understands that I need to spend a little time with my parents, so he wishes me a good trip back, and we exchange addresses and promises to write. I am just having fun, and I have no idea where this is headed. If he were Jewish, Grayson would be perfect.

  Chapter 43: Grayson and Doubt

  June 3, 1994

  Dear Abigail,

  I just want you to know that I had a very nice time meeting you this weekend. I had a lot of fun, and I hope we get a chance to see each other the next time you plan to visit. I know that Colin and Diana are pleased that we are getting along so well. Maybe we can go dancing again. For now, I am busy with my classes as I get my Master’s at the end of the year then comes the job hunting! I hope to hear from you soon.

  Grayson

  June 10, 1994

  Dear Grayson,

  I enjoyed meeting you, too. I am going to try to get home either late July or early August. I have not decided on anything 100% yet, but I am considering moving back to Michigan, and I want to talk to a few papers in the area. In the meantime, The Sun Sentinel has been keeping me very busy. I am mainly a junior proofreader, working with page layouts and checking for mistakes in the Senior Reporter’s articles, but lately I have been getting a few interesting writing assignments of my own. Dancing with you has made me realize the lack of exercise that I have right now, so I joined a local gym. Hopefully, I will be more fit if we decide to go dancing again!”

  Abigail

  June 20, 1994

  Dear Abigail,

  Sorry I have not written to you for a while. I have been very busy with my classes as I hope to graduate this summer. My final exams are at the beginning of July so, hopefully, when you visit, I will have more time. I think you are fit enough, but I can’t wait to see the results after you have been working out for a while. I know you will be even prettier than you are now! It sounds like the paper is keeping you busy, and I hope you consider moving back to Michigan. I would like that very much.

  Grayson

  June 31, 1994

  Dear Abigail,

  I have not heard from you in a while, and I hope that everything is okay. I know we only met for a short time, but I do not like it when you don’t check in with me. I like hearing from you and worry when I don’t. When do you think you are coming for another visit? Any news on finding a job in Michigan? I can’t wait to see you again.

  Grayson

  The tone of this last letter worries me a little bit. It is not a good sign that he is acting so possessive after just one weekend of dates. I told him that I wanted to go slowly and that I was not sure where this was headed. I decide to ask Diana her opinion.

  July 2, 1994

  Dear Diana,

  I got a very odd sounding letter from Grayson the other day. He sounded very possessive and was saying stuff how he does not like it when I don’t check in with him. We only had one weekend together, and we agreed to go slowly as I do not know if we will even be in the same state. What does Colin have to say since they have known each other for so long?

  Abigail

  I am reading a book and the phone rings.

  “Abigail, it’s Diana.”

  I reply, knowing it must be important if she is calling me.

  “Hi, Diana. What’s up?”

  She pauses a minute.

  “I talked to Colin about Grayson, and he told me that there is a history of him getting totally infatuated with someone. He often gets angry if these women do not respond the way he wants them to.”

  I gasp with worry.

  “Is he abusive or anything?”

  She quickly replies, “Not that I know of. According to Colin, he just gets a little bit intense.”

  Given Diana’s phone call, I decide to word things very casually with Grayson.

  July 6, 1994

  Dear Grayson,

  I am sorry that I have not written to you sooner, but I have been very busy at work. Our 4th of July weekend issue is big, and we are all working overtime. I covered a few of the festivities around town and had a lot of deadlines to meet. Are you finished with your classes yet? I hope your finals went well. How is the job search? I wish you the best of luck with that. I will be coming to Michigan to visit from July 25th through the 30th. We will talk more then. I have a million things to do right now, so I hav
e to go!

  Abigail

  Chapter 44: In the End Not Right

  No sooner than I walk through the door, Grayson is calling me wanting to make plans. I tell him that I definitely want to see him, but I have other friends I need to visit and a few papers I set up meetings with. He seems a little bit annoyed with that, but we agree on a day and time for us to get together.

  First, I meet with the Jewish Kibitzer with whom the Managing Editor was very excited about my portfolio. She mentions that although it is not official yet, one of their Senor Lifestyle Staff Writers is going to retire, and they will be looking for a replacement by late fall. It sounds like an interesting job with more of a focus on writing which is what I had in mind.

  After talking with the Jewish Kibitzer and several other local newspapers, I take a shower and get ready for my date with Grayson. He arrives promptly at 6:00, and we go to a local hangout. Several of my close friends, along with people I knew casually from high school, wander in and come over to our table to talk to me. Grayson is barely acting polite, upset at the interruptions. Not cool, I think. I want someone who is respectful of my space and is okay with me having my own interests and friends.

  When we are done eating, we go to the hotel bar where we went dancing the last time. We dance to the tunes the band is playing until we are laughing breathlessly. We sit down at the bar and order drinks. Grayson turns to me with a serious expression.

  “Abigail, do you think you are going to move back to Michigan?”

  I think a little bit before I answer, not wanting to lead him on.

  “I have a few good prospects but nothing definite yet.”

  He frowns.

  “I understand that you are only here for a short time and want to be with friends and your family. I just want to know if you want to be with me, too.”