Healed

by Rebecca Brooke

  Throughout the ceremony I kept my eyes on Andrew, thinking about the day we would tie our lives together. It was a bit scary, but exciting at the same time. The minister had gotten to the part I’d been waiting for all day, their vows. Angie and Caleb had written their own and no matter how much I’d begged, Angie wouldn’t let me see hers. She turned and handed me her bouquet, taking Caleb’s hands in hers as he began to speak.

  “Angie, the moment we met you changed everything I knew about myself. Memories and nightmares that I’d been afraid to face became a little easier with you by my side. You’ve made me a better person, a better man. Life without you is something I never want to face. I love you with all of my heart, and I hope to always be the husband that you deserve.”

  The sound of sniffles filled the room. Even my own eyes began to tear up, thinking of all of the obstacles they overcame to get this point made me thankful that they’d gotten there.

  “Caleb,” Angie started, then stopped to clear her throat before trying again. “Caleb, you are my white knight. The man who came charging to the rescue and saved a girl who didn’t think much of herself. We’ve already been through some bad times, and I can only hope our future is filled with the best of times. You are my life, my love, my best friend, and I love you more and more every day.”

  The minister turned to Josh. “Do you have the rings?”

  Josh pulled them from his pocket and handed one to Angie and the other to Caleb. They repeated the words spoken by the minister as they placed the rings on each other’s fingers.

  “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

  Caleb pulled Angie into a kiss that could have melted the sun. When they finally came up for air, Caleb took her hand and walked her to the back of the church to the cheering throughout the room. Josh offered me his arm and we followed quickly behind the newlyweds.

  “They look amazing don’t they,” Josh whispered in my ear.

  “Yes they do.”

  At the back of the church, the rest of the guests filed out while Josh and I filled out the official paperwork as the witnesses to the ceremony. The moment I set the pen down, strong arms wrapped around my waist at the same time as a pair of warm lips kissed down the back of my neck.

  “It’s our turn next. I can’t wait for the day I can call you my wife.”

  Turning in his arms, I placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Me neither.”

  We stood holding each other for a few moments before the photographer decided to torture us some more. It was a good thing we had Josh there to keep things light, otherwise I think we all would have died of boredom before getting to the reception. After about a half an hour we were able to climb into our vehicles and head to the hotel, Andrew entwining our fingers the minute the door shut and not letting go until we’d arrived at the hotel and had to get out of the car.

  We didn’t have to wait long before the DJ was ready to announce our arrival at the reception.

  The beginning of the night passed in a blur of obligations. When the time came for the wedding party to join the bride and groom on the dance floor, Josh offered me his hand and I stepped into his embrace. Peeking around, I saw Lauren walking to the dance floor with her arm through Andrew’s. It was ironic but also kind of fun the way we were paired together. Dancing with Josh was always fun, especially with him cracking jokes the whole time. When I looked at Angie and Caleb dancing next to us, the love in their eyes stole my breath.

  “I am so happy for them,” I said, looking up at Josh.

  He turned his head to follow my gaze. “Me too. It might have taken them a while in the beginning, but thank God they got here.”

  The dance continued and I saw his gaze wander over to where Lauren was dancing with Andrew.

  “What about you guys? Have you considered making the big leap yourself?”

  He grinned, his eye brightening. “Yeah, I’ve thought about it. She’s definitely ‘The One.’”

  “So why haven’t you?”

  “I don’t think either of us are ready for it, yet. With Lauren having another year of school left, I want her to focus on that.” He looked back down at me. “Don’t worry, we’ll get there. After everything that happened last year, I can’t imagine my life without her.”

  With the hand I had on his shoulder, I squeezed. “I’m glad everything worked itself out. You need her as much as she needs you.”

  “Oh my, is my little Em being sweet?” he asked with a smirk.

  “Maybe. But don’t push it or I’ll kick your ass, even though I’m wearing a dress.”

  When the song ended, Josh placed a brief kiss on my cheek. “Thanks for the dance, gorgeous. I’m going to find Lauren and drag her ass out here with me.”

  “Anytime.” All I wanted was a drink. It was hot and we hadn’t stopped moving since the wedding had begun a few hours ago. Andrew stepped up next to me.

  “What were you and Josh talking about?”

  “Nosey, aren’t we?”

  “Well, I can’t keep my eyes off of you in that dress so, yes, I am.”

  Wrapping my arms around his waist, I looked up into his eyes. “I was asking Josh if he’d thought about asking Lauren to marry him. He said they’d get there.”

  Andrew’s eyes moved away from mine for a brief moment. I knew that look.

  “What do you know that I don’t?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  I stepped out of his reach a bit. “Oh yes you do, and if you want to see me out of this dress later, you’d better start talking.”

  Groaning, he reached out and pulled me back to him. “Fine, but you can’t say anything.

  “I won’t. I can keep a secret, Andrew.”

  “Sometimes,” he grumbled. “Josh already bought Lauren a ring, he’s just wants to wait ’til after the holidays, when she only has one semester left. As far as I know, he wants to do something at one of her games.”

  “That’s so exciting!”

  “You better not tell her, or Josh is going to kick my ass.”

  “I won’t, I promise.”

  The heat in the room was starting to get a bit overwhelming. I used my hand to fan myself. Andrew looked down at me, his eyebrows pulled together. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m just hot and thirsty.”

  He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me on the forehead. “How about you wait here and I’ll go get you a glass of water.”

  “That sounds perfect.”

  He stepped away toward the bar, giving me the opportunity to scan the room and enjoy the sights before me. Everywhere I looked there were people laughing, dancing, and having fun—all the things a wedding should be. Watching Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs dance with each other made me hopeful that years from now, we’d be as happy as they still obviously were. Andrew stepped up next to me, holding out a glass of water.

  “Thank you,” I said, accepting it and taking a long drink.

  “What were you smiling at?”

  “Just hoping that someday we’ll all be as happy as the Jacobses are.”

  Leaning close he pulled me into his side. “We will be. Would you like to dance?”

  “I’d love to,” I said, setting the glass of water on the table next to me.

  Walking to the dance floor we took a place next to Lauren and Josh.

  “Don’t you two look happy,” I said.

  “Why wouldn’t I be happy? My best friend just got married, and now I get to dance with the hottest girl here,” Josh said with a smile.

  “I’ll have to disagree with that. No offense, Lauren,” Andrew corrected.

  “None taken.” She laughed.

  Andrew stopped dancing and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Damn, this is the third time he’s called. I’ll be right back,” he said, giving me quick kiss on the cheek.

  “Okay,” I said and smacked him on the ass as he walked away.

  Josh shook his head. “And you talk about me?” He laughed as I
winked and walked off the dance floor.

  Seeing as my throat was dry again, I went back to the table to get my drink. One nice long refreshing sip later, I set the glass down and looked up when I heard the door open. Andrew stepped through and I immediately knew something wasn’t right.

  “Andrew?”

  The color had drained from his face and there was a blank look in his eyes. It was like he was staring at me, but not actually seeing me. There were footsteps behind me but I paid them no attention. Something had happened to Andrew in the last few minutes and I needed to figure out what it was so I could help him.

  It felt like slow motion as I watched Andrew drop to his knees, but I couldn’t get to him before he hit the ground, his phone still tightly clutched in his hand. In that moment it felt like my heart might pound out of my chest, my legs were shaking so badly I had a hard time running to get to him. The second I reached him my legs gave way and I dropped down in front of him, gripping his hands, trying to get him to look me in the eye. Even dropping my face to his level didn’t work. I just needed him to see me.

  “Andrew?” I said, squeezing his hands, trying to infuse some of my own strength into him.

  “It can’t be,” he muttered.

  Letting go of his hands I cupped his face, ignoring the wetness on my cheek at seeing the man I loved reduced to this.

  “Andrew, babe, please talk to me,” I begged him.

  Even with my hands holding his cheeks, he started shaking his head “They’re wrong. They have to be wrong.”

  “Wrong about what?” I asked. With a quick look over my shoulder, I saw Nick and pleaded with my eyes for him to help.

  He walked up and squatted down next to us, one hand on Andrew’s shoulder. “Come on, man, tell us what’s wrong.”

  “It can’t be real,” he whispered, so low I was surprised either of us heard him.

  My grip on his face tightened. “You’re not making any sense. We don’t know how to help you.”

  He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter anymore. She’s gone.”

  “Who’s gone? What are you talking about?” He wasn’t making any sense. How was I supposed to help him if I couldn’t figure out what he was saying?

  I grabbed his shoulders and gave him a shake. Whatever the reason, his head suddenly snapped up and looked me in the eye. They were glassy and lost, but at least they were focused on me.

  “Mom.”

  One word.

  That’s when everything snapped into place. Something had happened to his mom.

  Wait, gone?

  He’d said gone.

  My hand pulled away to cover my mouth, my eyes connecting with Nick’s, whose face wore the exact expression of shock I expected from mine. Everything fell into place, all of his ramblings finally making sense.

  His mom was dead.

  “Oh God,” someone gasped from behind me.

  This couldn’t be real. From the moment I met Sarah, she’d been like a second mom to me. She’d constantly been there to help with wedding plans. Andrew was right—there had to be a mistake.

  The back of my throat burned and my stomach felt like it wanted to purge everything I’d eaten through the night. It just couldn’t be right. How could this have happened?

  I didn’t know what to do. All I could think about was Andrew kneeling on the floor in front of me, tears streaming down his face. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I tried to help him to his feet. He didn’t budge and a hand landed on my shoulder.

  “I’ve got him.”

  I looked over to see Nick already pulling Andrew’s arm around his shoulders and curling his other arm around his waist. Nodding, I got to my feet and took a step back as Josh came up from somewhere behind me and helped Nick get Andrew over to a table to sit down.

  Lauren touched my arm. “What do you need me to do?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, watching Andrew sitting in the chair.

  He sat there staring at the floor, all the while my stomach clenched at the thought of what he might say next.

  “What happened?” With my focus solely on Andrew, I hadn’t noticed Caleb and Angie walk up behind us.

  “We’re not sure, something happened to Andrew’s mom,” Josh said, taking Andrew’s phone from his hand and began dialing.

  Ignoring everything else I knelt down in front of him again, taking his hands in mine. “What do you need me to do?”

  He took a deep shuddering breath, almost like he couldn’t bring himself to say it. “Dad said he’ll wait for us at the hospital . . . so that we can say good-bye.”

  Oh God. We were at least an hour away, if not more. I looked up to Josh as he handed me the phone again. “No one answered.”

  Nick bent down next to me. “Come on, let’s get him in the car. I’ll drive.”

  I looked around at my friends. “Go,” Angie said. “We’ll get Morgan home and will be over later.”

  It was good they were staying. They didn’t deserve to miss the rest of their wedding reception, plus I didn’t think Andrew was in any kind of place to deal with everyone at that moment. I nodded at Nick, who pulled Andrew up the same time Josh ran out to the valet to get our car.

  By the time I hugged our friends and we got Andrew out the front door, Josh was standing next to the car. With a look of absolute desolation on his face, it hurt me even more to take him to a place that was going to cause him immense amounts of pain. Sarah was an organ donor, like everyone in the family. My guess was that they were keeping her on life support to give everyone the chance to say good-bye before they took her into surgery.

  “Call me if you need anything,” Josh said pulling me into an embrace while Nick helped Andrew into the back seat.

  “I will. Thank you. I feel bad for leaving.”

  “Don’t. You need to be with him.”

  “Are you ready?” Nick called over the hood of the car.

  “Yes,” I said, getting into the back seat.

  The first thing I did was to link Andrew’s fingers with mine, trying to give him some of my own strength through our connection.

  The ride was made in almost silence. The only time Andrew spoke was to tell Nick which hospital. The roads were fairly quiet and we made good time, arriving about forty-five minutes after the initial call. As the doors to the hospital opened in front of us, the disinfectant smell permeated my nose almost immediately. It was a smell that held no good memories for me, and I had a feeling tonight’s would be the worst.

  After being directed to the correct floor by the receptionist, we took the long elevator ride up. When the doors opened the sight that greeted us made my stomach clench. Jess was sobbing in her father’s arms. Andrew’s feet faltered as he walked toward his father, who immediately engulfed him in his arms.

  Death affects people in different ways. No one knows how they will cope with grief until they experience it. One thing was for sure, though.

  Andrew would never be the same.

  Andrew

  THE SOUND FROM THE heart machine was the only noise in the room.

  Beep.

  Beep.

  Beep.

  She looked so small and fragile lying in the bed. There were so many tubes and wires. I wanted to run from the room screaming. I’d told Emily I wanted a minute alone with Mom, but I wasn’t sure I’d made the right decision. Emily always brought me a sense of strength and peace, something that I needed more than anything for what I was about to do.

  I turned to go ask Emily to come in with me and there she was, waiting right outside the door, almost as if she knew I needed her. Without a word, she stepped into the room and laced her fingers with mine as we took the longest steps of my life.

  Standing next to Mom’s bed, I reached down with my free hand to touch hers. It just about broke me when she didn’t squeeze my hand back. It was something she’d always done when we’d held her hand as kids.

  During the whole car ride, I’d tried to think about what I would say when I was standing her
e. This would be the last time I’d ever speak to my mom and I didn’t know what to say. “Good-bye” didn’t seem like it was enough. There was so much of my life she was going to miss, and there weren’t enough words to express all of the anguish and pain I was feeling in that moment. Deciding to go with my gut, I spoke from the heart, letting it all out.

  “Mom, I don’t want you to leave us. Please fight your way back. You’re strong. You can do it.”

  There was no sign, no movement, nothing to tell me she’d heard me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I’d known she wouldn’t, but I would never forgive myself if I didn’t try.

  My knees gave out and I crashed to the ground, sobs shaking my body. Emily followed me down and wrapped her arms around my waist, offering her silent support.

  I rested my head on top of our clasped hands. “Oh, Mom, what are we going to do without you? I already miss you more than you know. I know you’d want me to promise to look out for Dad and Jess, and I will. I’ll take care of both of them. I love you with all of my heart and wish that you could stay with us. Good-bye, Mom.”

  Needing to get out of the room, I stood and placed a kiss on my mom’s forehead before I turned and left the room without looking back.

  The room was quiet. Too quiet.

  Everything around my family had always been light and fun. So lively. Dad picking on Mom because of all her eccentric ways. She would give Dad a growly face and a smile while he laughed it off and hugged her tight. They loved each other so much. Our whole family was love and trust.

  But that was before. When we were whole.

  Only now things were different.

  They would never be the same again.

  And I felt lost.

  How could this have happened? Mom was healthy. She went to the gym and ate right. She took vitamins and went to the doctor’s regularly. None of it made any sense.