Evenstar

by Darcy Town

  Lucifer and Ladriam remained near the throne. She stared at the fire, knowing she was in a losing battle. “Why did you not tell me my purpose before I was sent? Why? I would have obeyed…”

  YOU SHOULD HAVE DESIRED NO OTHER. I LET YOU SEE, I GAVE YOU LIGHT, A BODY, AND YOU RETURNED MY FAVORS WITH UNGRATEFUL BEHAVIOR. I GAVE YOU MUCH, YOU GIVE ME ONLY REGRET.

  “Then why did you not stop me?”

  I BELIEVED YOU BETTER. I BELIEVED YOU WORTHY. I TRUSTED WHEN I SHOULD NOT HAVE.

  Ladriam shook her head. “Only once the name was spoken did you look for me.”

  YES, BUT I WOULD HAVE EVENTUALLY REGARDLESS.

  “Where was your gaze turned? What were you looking at? Or could you not see me until I called—”

  IT IS BETTER THIS WAY, LADRIAM. HE WILL FORGET YOU, THEY ALL WILL. THAT PLACE YOU BUILT WILL BE TAKEN APART AND LUCIFER WILL BE AS IF YOU NEVER WERE, PERFECT AGAIN. HE WILL BE MINE AGAIN.

  Lucifer flinched. He did not want to forget her, their time together, the things they had done. He trembled; he wanted her more than anything else, but he could not defy. He could not raise a hand to help her or speak for her. He had never gone against His will and he did not know of any other way. This course was inevitable, unavoidable. A small unheard part of him screamed in rage and despair. He could do nothing.

  Ladriam looked between them. “Please do not do that to him or our world.”

  I OWE YOU NOTHING.

  Ladriam clasped her hands together. “Lucifer did nothing wrong, the living things on our planet did nothing wrong. They are all innocents! You are just, please. Do not hurt them. Please let them remain. Please!”

  LUCIFER, BREAK HER WINGS.

  Lucifer let go of her wrists. He placed his hands on her feathers, his movements stiff. He looked at the throne, stalling. His eyes begged the fire, doing what his mouth was unable to do.

  Ladriam went still, refusing to fight or hurt him. She could have. Strength hummed in her body, waiting to be released. A physical thing, she was strong in the realm of Heaven. She could have broken Lucifer in an instant, but she could no more injure him than injure herself. She knew they were intertwined. As much as He despised the connection, it remained the truth. She looked up at Lucifer and blinked back tears. She knew he had to obey. “It is okay, I love you.”

  BREAK HER WINGS, LUCIFER. NOW.

  Lucifer closed his eyes. He snapped her carpal joints and bones beneath his fingers. He found her primary feathers and tore them out in clumps. Her halos sputtered as he moved from one wing to the next. Blood splashed his hands and poured down her back.

  Her scream ripped through Heaven, dropping everyone but Lucifer to their knees. Her howl took on notes none should utter. In her, the songs of death, destruction, and despair were born and through their connection, they became known to Lucifer.

  Belial swayed as the scream found a home in her, so similar to Ladriam. She sobbed as the song wound its way around her soul. She scratched at her chest, trying to expunge it. Helion searched for his sister, but the press of angels kept him at bay. He screamed as she screamed. The twins shared a soul of warped delirium and for them the universe shifted irrevocably.

  The never ceasing choirs of angels found new notes, dissonance. The song of Heaven went weird. Ladriam’s scream left Heaven and tore through the universe she had created with Lucifer. Her voice touched the shield of energy she had wrapped around Earth. As the two forces mingled, the surface of the shield changed and shifted, recognizing the source of her suffering, Heaven.

  On Earth, Berith, Andrealphus, and Paimon staggered under the sound.

  “Lucifer, stop!” Paimon screamed with Ladriam, repeating Lucifer’s words, “You are ruining yourself! He is making you ruin yourself! You do not hurt that which makes you feel!”

  Lucifer was shocked out of his lunacy. He let Ladriam go, but the damage had been done. He had broken her and the sound of her wail had broken him. He fell to his knees beside her, haunted and hollow. His face crumpled, and he convulsed. She wept and her sobs seared his soul like branding irons. The sound marked him, imprinted itself never to be forgotten. He reached out to comfort her.

  DO NOT TOUCH HER, LUCIFER, OR YOU WILL SUFFER THE SAME FATE.

  Lucifer snatched back his hand and wept. “This tortures me!”

  SIN SEEPS INTO ALL IT IS NEAR. YOU MUST PURGE YOUR SIN BY THIS ACTION. YOU CANNOT BE WHOLE UNLESS YOU CAST HER ASIDE. AS YOU ARE NOW, YOU ARE COVERED IN HER. YOU MUST BURN SIN AWAY TO REMAIN MY PRIMANGEL. ARE YOU MY PRIMANGEL?

  “Yes,” Lucifer’s voice was a cry.

  THEN THIS YOU MUST DO TO REMAIN AS SUCH.

  Lucifer turned away from her. He remembered her touch, her laughter, and dance. Now she was this thing here, huddled and hurt and it was his fault. Her blood congealed on his hands. He had done this to the woman he loved. He could not handle it. “Let me leave!”

  NO. YOU MUST STAY. LOOK AT HER, LOOK INTO HER EYES, AND MEMORIZE HER. MEMORIZE ALL OF THIS, EVERY SOUND, EVERY DETAIL, SO THAT YOU MAY NEVER FORGET THE SIN.

  Lucifer forced his eyes up. He cupped her chin gently and lifted her face to his. So close, he wanted to kiss her. His lips twitched. Her red eyes met his. Through their touch, he felt her love and the pain. He cried out.

  DO NOT LOOK AWAY.

  Ladriam shielded him from her pain. “Do not cry. I will be all right, Lucifer.”

  NO, YOU WILL NOT.

  Ladriam ignored His words. “You will be strong, Morningstar.”

  The throne spoke once more only for Ladriam, HE WILL BE IN AGONY FOR YOU. HE WILL KNOW NOTHING BUT REGRET AND PAIN FOR THIS DEED AND HE WILL LIVE TORTURED BY IT FOR TIME WITHOUT END.

  “No!” Ladriam struggled towards the throne. “Do not do that to him!”

  HE TOOK WHAT WAS MINE.

  “He did not know!”

  Lucifer looked between them bewildered. He heard nothing of their conversation.

  THIS DOES NOT MATTER. WITHOUT HIM, YOU WOULD BE PURE STILL. HE WAS THE THING THAT MADE YOU ROTTEN, VIRULENT, USED, WHORE, BLACK, AND DARK. HE CLIMBED INTO YOUR HEART AND TOOK MY PLACE. HE BETRAYED ME.

  “But he only lives for you, to be obedient to you! He chooses you! He never would have touched me if he had known!”

  HIS FOOLISH AND INNOCENT NATURE DOES NOT FREE HIM FROM THE CONSEQUENCES. HE IS OBEDIENT, IN THIS, YOU ARE CORRECT. HE WILL CONTINUE TO BE OBEDIENT, HURTING REGARDLESS, NEVER ABLE TO SPEAK OF IT FOR FEAR OF DISOBEYING. HE WILL THINK ALWAYS OF THIS MOMENT, YOU CAN BE SURE OF THIS. HE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU OR WHAT HE DID TO YOU. HE WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIMSELF. HE WILL BE BROKEN AND NEVER HEALED.

  “Then you seek to torture him for eternity!”

  YES.

  Ladriam leapt at the throne. She swayed under the pain and strain but stood tall. “Terrible, sick, craven thing! You hurt so you seek to hurt others!” She burned red and black. Her halos of steel and glass reformed and spun around her wrists and ankles. “I will not let you do this to him! I will tear you down!”

  The fire rushed from the throne and pierced Lucifer in the chest. The Primangel fell to his knees in agony. Ladriam watched in horror. “No!”

  STAND DOWN OR I WILL OBLITERATE HIM. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GET TO HIM IN TIME, LADRIAM. HE WILL BE DEAD BEFORE YOU CAN STRIKE AT ME.

  Ladriam moaned and lost her light. The fire pulled back from Lucifer. She stared at the throne as Lucifer healed. “You hate him now.”

  YOUR SENSES HAVE ALWAYS APPEALED TO ME, LADRIAM. THAT YOU CAN SENSE WHEN OTHERS CANNOT, IT IS A THING THAT AMAZES. I SHOULD HAVE KEPT YOU A CHILD IN THE DARKNESS. FOR MY MISTAKE, I MUST PAY BY LOSING YOU, LOSING THAT PART OF MYSELF THAT I CAN NEVER RECOVER. I LOVE YOU. WE ALL MUST SUFFER, MY LOVE. THIS PAINS ME, AS IT WILL PAIN YOU AND HIM. I FAILED ALL THREE OF US.

  “You do not love me! You do not love Lucifer. You love only yourself!”

  THESE ARE ONE IN THE SAME.

  “No! I am not you! I am the Evenstar! He is the Morningstar! We are individuals!”

  He ignored this.
I SHALL WATCH YOU, LADRIAM, IN YOUR PRISON. I WILL LOVE YOU FROM AFAR.

  Her brief burst of energy faded and agony returned. She fell to the floor. “You will not succeed in this!”

  YOU CANNOT WIN. YOU ARE NOT EVEN HALF OF WHAT I AM.

  Paimon, Berith, and Andrealphus returned. They carried keys, shackles, and pieces of metal and stone. Andrealphus could not look at Ladriam. “Where?”

  NEXT TO THE THRONE, THE PLACE SHE SHOULD HAVE OCCUPIED. LUCIFER, MAKE SURE SHE WATCHES AS IT IS BUILT. LET HER SEE WHAT SHE HAS EARNED.

  Lucifer held her head up as Andrealphus, Paimon, and Berith constructed her prison, another physical manifestation in Heaven. She understood its purpose from its parts. Her fear spiked and bled into Lucifer.

  Lucifer shook and let her head drop. He could not continue. Anxious, Michael came forward to help him.

  MICHAEL, GET BACK. FURCAS, COME. YOUR FIRST TASK AS ARCHANGEL.

  Furcas walked up the steps past Michael. He put an arm around Lucifer and helped him sit up. He stared at Ladriam in horror. He experienced Lucifer’s pain as if it were his own. Lucifer could not raise his hands. Furcas lifted his hands for him, placed them on Ladriam’s face, and forced her head up. Furcas’ eyes filled with unshed tears, but he could no more disobey than Lucifer could.

  Ladriam watched and memorized the construction of her prison, the pieces, how they fit together. She deconstructed her prison in her head; her mind worked furiously. She knew she did not have much time. She had lost this battle, but she had not given up.

  She looked up at Furcas. “Hope.” To Paimon. “Conscience.” She focused on Berith. “Resolve.” To Andy. “Heart.” Her eyes flicked back to Belial, who watched the scene horrified. “Innocence.” She kissed Lucifer’s hand. “Strength. You will suffer, but you will live. You will grow.”

  Lucifer misunderstood. “I love you, Ladriam. I cannot grow without you—”

  DO NOT SPEAK TO HER.

  Lucifer’s mouth snapped shut. He tried to convey his feelings through his eyes.

  Ladriam managed a smile. “I know, love, I know.”

  LOCK HER IN, LUCIFER.

  Lucifer carried Ladriam up the steps of the prison. His feet scuffed the ground. He twitched. The floor by the throne had been hollowed out, a construct of firmament and metal. Lucifer put his hands on Ladriam’s shoulders and pressed her into the ground. He was gentle on her wings, but they had no way of resting that did not hurt her. They cringed together.

  Paimon backed away from the prison, fighting with himself; he could not bear to watch. He spasmed and his body ached as if tearing in two. He pressed the key into Furcas’ hands and turned away.

  Andy was first. He held shackles. He snapped the first cuff around her foot. The shackle was made up of the cold of empty space. It bit into her skin leaving her gasping. Her eyes faded towards purple as the material leeched out her strength and moved it into the prison itself. Her arms were brought in front of her. Her hands bound together as if praying. Andy locked her wrists together. Her limbs went rigid with pain. The cold hardened her flesh to stone and cracked her bones.

  Lucifer’s jaw clenched and unclenched. He needed to speak to her, to say something, anything. His lips bled as he tried to open them.

  Andy backed away and Berith set metal in place around her legs. He built upwards, encasing her body in metal and stone. The heat in them left her gasping. Berith stared at the parts, trying to find a way to avoid her wings, but realized he could not. The design was made to incorporate them and increase her suffering.

  Ladriam chewed on her lips, and blood dripped down her chin to her hands. Berith clamped down on her wings. She wailed.

  Lucifer stared at her, devoid of hope or happiness. His psyche cracked. He could no longer stand the sight or sound of her pain. The devoted Lucifer, the kind and gentle lover, fled. His face became an emotionless mask as hopelessness overtook him.

  FURCAS, THE KEY. The fire blazed bright. I WILL WATCH YOU, LADRIAM. IF YOU REPENT, I WILL TAKE YOU BACK. THE TERMS STILL STAND.

  Ladriam snarled. “I WILL NEVER REPENT!” Her voice blasted the Archangels off their feet. Lucifer smacked his head on the ground. She choked on her words. “I am sorry, Lucifer!”

  Furcas handed Lucifer the key and helped him upright. Lucifer crawled back to her. He cinched and locked her shackles and closed the seals that Berith had made. He set pieces around her ears and neck, rendering her deaf.

  The words she spoke to him were supplied by Furcas’ memory, “Lucifer, I forgive you.”

  Paimon handed Lucifer the mask and turned away.

  Lucifer stared at it, unable to look at her. His hands shook. He would see her face only this last time, but he could not gaze upon her. He could not bear to see her pain and fear. It was a memory he did not want.

  LOOK AT HER, LUCIFER.

  Lucifer held the mask like a bowl beneath her face and looked up. He fell to his knees. Furcas kept him from slumping over on his side. Lucifer undid the locks and seals, intricate parts, on either side of the faceplate. He reached up to work on the locks on either side of her face. His hand brushed her cheek. He flinched. He buried the pain and the love away. Furcas steadied him.

  Ladriam sucked in air, terrified. “Lucifer, you must promise me one thing. Protect our children. Do not let them be killed or left to this fate. Promise me please. Do just that and live.”

  Lucifer looked down and nodded once. He spoke to Furcas, though it was meant for her, “Know that I imprison myself in this deed.”

  He set the mask over her face and locked it.

  The darkness drew Furcas and Dahlia into her nightmare. Her eternity in a prison forged by those she loved. Lucifer’s face, the last she saw for time without end.

  ***

  The Fallen waited in the Sanctuary. The small door to Gaea’s room was closed and locked against them. Berith sat next to the door to the palace. Apple rested on his lap, asleep against his chest, a content smile on her face. Helion curled his wings around himself, looking asleep though he was not, his eyes ever on Belial. She sat with Andy, close, but not touching.

  Lucifer paced the length of the room.

  Paimon crocheted, Dahlia’s teddy bear was at his side. The pink baby blanket in his hands originally one of Furcas’ creations, almost finished. He fiddled with the hooks.

  Belial watched him and snorted. “Why are you doing that?”

  Paimon glared at her. “I want to, shut up.”

  Belial reached for Dahlia’s teddy bear. “What’s up with this dirty thing?”

  Paimon pulled it out of her reach. “None of your fucking business!” He untangled the skein of soft yarn and his stitching came out. “Irritating!” He reached for the yarn and it broke. He scowled at Lucifer. “This is probably your fault. Everything I touch is breaking!”

  Lucifer spared him a glance. “Your body ate the violin.”

  Andy rubbed his temples. “I don’t want to hear anymore about this violin thing! Paimon, you’re still a gardener, you just can’t make exploding plants, big deal you couldn’t anyways unless you wanted to get on angel radar.”

  Paimon threw a crochet needle at him. “You don’t have the death song of the fucking universe in your fucking stomach! You can’t destroy everything on accident!”

  Andy snorted. “Yeah, but I’d probably complain less if I did.”

  “Not if you lost your ‘oh look at me I can age things’ ability.”

  Andy laughed. “Yeah, because that’s super awesome!”

  Berith rumbled. “Can you two not be quiet for a vigil for two whole minutes?”

  The pair looked at him. “We’ve been doing well for several hours, thanks!”

  Berith stretched. “Just take a nap.”

  Lucifer leaned against the small door to Gaea’s room. “I will not ask again for you all to be silent. Why is it that Helion is the only one with his mouth shut right now?”

  The others went back to being quiet.

  Belial got up, grabbed
Paimon’s skein, and untangled it for him. She patted the spot by her side and Paimon took a seat next to her. She reworked the break in the yarn and held the ball while he crocheted.

  ***

  Michael and Gabriel hovered over the planet outside the shield. They focused their gaze on the wasteland that now blanketed a circle of a few hundred miles. They shined in the darkness of the night. Michael pointed. “How?”

  Gabriel shrugged. “We did lose the destruction song when Lucifer fell, it has been there. You were never given the creation song from Him either. So he probably still has that hidden away as well.”

  Michael glared at Gabriel. “You have no sense of when not to say certain things.”

  Gabriel nodded. “True, but that does not negate my statement. Have you petitioned Him again?”

  “Of course, but I cannot be Primangel while Lucifer lives.”

  Gabriel stared at him blankly. “Then kill him already.”

  Michael seethed. “Yes, it is that easy, Gabriel. I will snap my fingers, and then he will be dead! We cannot find them!”

  Gabriel looked around. “The weapon is ready, well nearly so, why not fire it? That will draw them out.”

  Michael looked pensive. “It has not been tested.”

  Gabriel remained expressionless. “Only one way to test it.”

  “It could make them stronger.”

  “Doubtful.”

  “But it could.”

  Gabriel nodded. “Yes.”

  “Then we wait, for now.” Michael stared at the planet. “They will do something to reveal themselves soon enough.”

  ***

  In the darkness of cold and pain, Ladriam lost her mind and Dahlia lost it with her. The two beings of Ladriam and Dahlia connected in that moment. The memories and consciousnesses unified into one being. Her inception as Primangel, to imprisonment, to her birth as a human. She remembered the conversations, the images, the actions.

  Two sides of one being, Primangel Ladriam and human Dahlia overlapped, fitted perfectly. Dahlia saw herself mirrored. Ladriam nodded, Dahlia nodded. Dahlia-Ladriam reflected on her existence. They reviewed what it had been and what it had become.