Evenstar

by Darcy Town

  Ladriam-only was a past, while Dahlia was a future. She wanted to be Dahlia, a child of hope, love, and laughter, not a creature of betrayal and pain incarnate. The mirroring fused and Dahlia was one, a Primangel, yet human. Powerful, but without access. Long in memory, but filled with the short-lived imperative that made a human a human. She was a hybrid, a part of all.

  But now, she screamed, stuck in the pain.

  Furcas hauled her into his memories. Damn it! Stay with me, Dahlia!

  Dahlia clung to the light that personified Furcas and the pain retreated. Her sight returned to Heaven. She saw through his eyes.

  Lucifer slumped in front of her prison. He was a drained vessel. His meaning had been sealed away. He stared at the empty mask that covered her face. The fire on the throne rushed to engulf the prison; it covered the metal and slipped inside to watch her. Silence reigned in Heaven.

  Belial wept uncontrollably. Uriel reached out to hold her. She pushed him away and ran for Andrealphus. Andy enveloped her in a hug. Uriel glared at the pair, jealousy painted his features.

  Michael walked up the steps and put his arms around Lucifer. “Come away. This was for the best. Come away, Lucifer. Retake your light and purpose.”

  Lucifer shook his head. “I have no purpose.”

  Michael whispered to him, “Lucifer, you must. We need you.”

  “She needed me.”

  “She is broken, gone. She is nothing but impure.”

  Lucifer wheeled on Michael and picked him up by his throat. “I am nothing, you are nothing. She was everything!” He dropped Michael and turned back to the statue, cold inside.

  “Lucifer.” Michael was relentless. “Lucifer, you did as He asked, you obeyed, that is all we can do. There is a reason for everything. You trust and obey.”

  Lucifer’s voice dropped to a whisper, “I know. Obey is all I can do. We live only to obey, only to worship that which is Him.” He looked at Ladriam’s prison. She had lived for herself, only for herself. She had been far more than he had ever dreamed of being.

  Michael touched his shoulder. “Then please, take up your light.”

  Lucifer shuddered. “Only if He orders it.”

  Michael lit up and spoke for Him, but he did not address Lucifer, “The one known as Belial. Archangel, but a reminder of the sin, take its wings off and hurl it out of Heaven into the wastes of that place. Let it linger in our sight no longer.”

  Belial froze in fear. The other Archangels turned to her. Andrealphus pushed her away, unwilling to do as ordered. Belial stumbled, terrified.

  Paimon grabbed her by her wrists. She did not fight him; she seemed stuck in a daze. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

  Michael and Barachiel looked at him confused. Michael pointed. “Take her wings off as ordered, Paimon. Why do you delay?”

  “I…” Paimon shook his head. His nose bled as he trembled. He couldn’t hold it back anymore. “This is wrong, that—what we did to Ladriam was wrong. You were wrong! This is all not supposed to be!”

  Michael shook his head. “It is what happened. It cannot be any other way.”

  “It should not have happened!”

  Michael frowned. “Should? What does this should mean?”

  Paimon looked at Lucifer in desperation. “You know I am right.” He stared at Andrealphus and Berith. “Belial did no wrong and Ladriam was innocent. To do this thing is the sin. You know this is truth!”

  Michael lit up as God spoke through him, “Paimon, you have lost your right as Archangel. Stand down and hand Belial over. Archangels, if he does not stand down, subdue him.”

  Paimon snarled. “I will not stand down and commit this evil thing!”

  Barachiel dove for Paimon. Paimon tossed Belial into the air. Helion jumped out of the crowd, caught her, and vanished. Jegudiel flew after them.

  Barachiel tackled Paimon. Paimon kicked him off. Michael and Selaphiel pinned him down. Furcas jumped on Michael, but the stronger Archangel threw him back. They forced Paimon to the ground. Michael lit up. “Shackle Paimon to her.”

  The three Archangels chained Paimon to Ladriam’s statue.

  Lucifer stayed glued to his spot. He stared at Ladriam’s frozen mask.

  Paimon glared at everyone around him. “We committed wrong! Lucifer!” He stared at Lucifer. “You do not hurt the ones that make you feel! You told me that and spoke the truth then! Why do you deny her and it now?”

  Lucifer flinched. The words brought back memories, with memories came feelings. He felt again. His world became a cold, wrenching agony, a loss without end. His breath was taken from him. The sweet song of Heaven sounded wrong, no longer melodic. He felt sick, as if a piece of his insides had been removed.

  Lucifer leaned forward. He reached through the light around Ladriam. He touched the faceplate. His consciousness joined hers. There was anguish, despair, pain, and unending torment. She screamed his name in the darkness. This construct was not a prison, it was torture, it was a weapon. The contraption they had built and placed her in was an execution that continued, never-ending and merciless. He tore his hand back as if burned. He crawled away from the prison in shock and horror.

  “Lucifer, you know what you did was wrong!” Paimon watched him. “You know it! Your feelings are what make you an individual! You must listen to them! You—”

  Barachiel cracked Paimon across the head with his book, rendering the Archangel unconscious.

  Furcas leapt for Paimon. Berith caught him and held him back.

  Lucifer shook his head. He had to obey. He had to. He had no purpose if he disobeyed. They must obey…

  He stared at Paimon, the Archangel that had not obeyed. Ladriam also had not obeyed, though he was unsure of what she had done to disobey. He shuddered. Tears hovered in his eyes. He did not understand. Ladriam suffered and he was not sure why.

  The thought made him ill. He had put her into that prison and was not confident of the reasons. He had done this…the responsibility was his. Lucifer stared at the others. Why had he done that thing without reason? The thought ate at him and for the first time in his existence, Lucifer questioned His will.

  He stared at the hosts of Heaven that watched him. They looked at him with awe and love. He could not remain here. He had to be alone, to think. He stood and faced Michael. “My light, my fire, my position. Return them.”

  Michael gave them over willingly. Lucifer was engulfed in light. He turned his back on her prison and spread his wings. He flew until he no longer saw angels. He soared away until he found a place where the music of Heaven became muted.

  Lucifer stopped and stared into infinity. He could not understand why he was not happy, content. He had obeyed, but instead of satisfaction, he received despair. The songs of creation no longer comforted him. He found no companionship with Him or the hosts of Heaven. He did not know how to go on. He lingered without a purpose.

  Lucifer lived a waking dream. His memories tumbled in an unbreakable loop, a repeating story with one end. Her words and her face captured in perfect detail. He was unable…unwilling to escape. He could not change what he had done. He searched for the moment when things changed for him and everything came back to Ladriam.

  Time passed without recognition.

  He did not want to live any longer, but he could not die. He could not disobey his charge as Primangel. Unable to comprehend what he had done, unable to reconcile what he felt with his actions…He lost his grip on reality and pulled away, seeing Heaven and himself as less than real.

  His consciousness spiraled inwards, repeating the crime, retelling the story. He loved Ladriam, but had caused her pain without equal. That he could feel one thing and do another, it did not make sense. He did not understand which was real, the feeling or the action, which was him and which was the one to discard. His psyche shredded under the strain of the divergence within his soul.

  His heart stopped. He hardened into a silent statue. Around him, all was quiet, but inside his shell of a b
ody, he boiled.

  His Archangels stood watch over him in rotating teams. They did not disturb the pensive Primangel. Heaven continued its song and light, but tension filled the air as everything waited. Something had to break.

  Barachiel, Michael, Jegudiel, Selaphiel, and Raphael left to watch Paimon, leaving Furcas, Andrealphus, and Berith to take their spots. These three were as empty as Lucifer. Aching, Andrealphus missed Belial. Berith despised his hands for having created the prison. Furcas could think only of Paimon. They mourned for their losses along with their Primangel.

  Lucifer stared at his feet, his eyes unblinking. As guilt tormented him and filled him with doubt, one truth repeated endlessly without question. He loved Ladriam. His soul and universe were hers. He no longer felt the call of the throne inside him. Her song and laughter were the only things that rang in his ears. She was everything and nothing else mattered.

  Pulse.

  His heart beat once. The warmth of the fire inside spread through his veins.

  Helion burst through the light and landed at Lucifer’s feet. He wailed, “He has taken her!”

  Andrealphus stood. “Who?”

  “Belial! Uriel has her. He was made Archangel and has her. I cannot feel her! She is cut from me! We are no longer one! We have been severed!”

  Andrealphus snarled. “Where is she?!”

  “I do not know!”

  Lucifer stirred.

  Pulse.

  Berith got to his feet. “What does he want with her?”

  “He is going to take her wings off as ordered!” Helion was on his knees. “Please do not let them! Please!”

  The Archangels went still, eyes fixed on Lucifer.

  Lucifer’s eyes rose from the ground. He stared at Helion.

  Pulse.

  His soul shattered into pieces like a mirror and reflected the choices he had made, the choices he could make. Paimon’s words kicked through his head, they repeated like a mantra. What should happen versus what would happen. He understood now, the difference.

  Pulse.

  Lucifer faced a certainty and no choice, or a choice with uncertain outcomes. He could make a change. He should make a change. He knew what was right, but his body was hard, unyielding. He could not raise a hand to help Belial. He had been ordered to do just as Uriel would, take her wings. Lucifer stared blankly at Helion.

  Pulse.

  He felt Ladriam’s hands on his face, her breath against his neck. He could see her, so close. He felt her touching him, willing him to be roused, to be her Morningstar again. Lucifer was hers. And she would want him to help Belial.

  Pulse.

  His lips struggled to form words. “What causes one to sin. Cut it, burn it, become pure. Free of the sin. Free. Through action and will.”

  Pulse. Pulse.

  He stretched out his arms. He breathed out and fire followed his breath. The ember sparked into an inferno. He raised his hand to his face. “Purge.”

  Lucifer engulfed his arm in flame. The skin flaked away, the muscle burnt and shrunk. He destroyed his hand. He stared at the damage, seeing himself in the decaying flesh. Light grew out from the stump and he made his hand anew. This limb was his alone, free of the throne. This hand was a new creation. This hand could do what should be done.

  His heart pumped in a steady rhythm. He surged with an inner light all his own. Lucifer stepped away from the others and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He let the fire that raged inside pierce his skin and bones. The light ate him away from within. Ash spiraled into the light of Heaven.

  Lucifer reformed in the blaze of suns. He spread his six wings, the Morningstar, reborn.

  He opened his eyes, a vibrant blue. For the first time his voice was his own. “That. That should not happen.” He said the words, weighed their meaning. This thing of should, a sense of wrong or right. He understood. “Belial does not deserve that. The order is wrong.”

  The Archangels gaped.

  Lucifer looked up at them. “I cannot allow this to continue any longer. Do you obey me?” They nodded. Lucifer swallowed. “Stop. No more. You are free. Through me I cut the ties to the throne.”

  Furcas, Andrealphus, and Berith felt a tether break. The line between them and the throne was severed at Lucifer. They were free. Their mouths and bodies allowed to react as they felt they should. The world around them was bathed in a new light.

  Berith stared in the direction of the throne. “We have done a terrible thing to Ladriam.”

  Furcas nodded. “Paimon is right.”

  Andrealphus nodded. “We were wrong.”

  “He was wrong.” Lucifer tensed. “I have a choice now. I have a will of my own. I...” He struggled with everything he had known and done. “I am Ladriam’s Morningstar now, not His.”

  Berith stood tall. “What do we do now?”

  Lucifer burned blue. “Disobey.”

  Berith looked towards the throne. “What about the other Archangels, the two-winged angels, what about Him?”

  Lucifer shook his head. “They rise with us or fall with Him.”

  Andrealphus paced. “War.”

  Lucifer nodded. “War.”

  Furcas stood tall. “I will fight and Paimon will be with us.”

  Berith was resolute. “As will I.”

  Andrealphus nodded. “Whatever the cost, we get them all back.”

  Helion froze, staring between them. Lucifer looked at him. “This onus is not on the likes of you or any two-winged. If you choose not to fight with us, do not fight against us.”

  Helion couldn’t reply, so he nodded in shock. Lucifer pointed to Furcas and Andrealphus. “You will stay here, and Berith will go with me to collect Belial.”

  Andrealphus seethed. “Why not me?”

  “It is his brother we go to face.” Lucifer looked at Helion. “Show me where she was taken from.” The three took off into the air, leaving Furcas and Andrealphus to wait.

  Dahlia watched them go. What happened to Belial?

  I do not know what they saw, only that Belial came back forever altered, her joy stolen. She never spoke of why. Berith also came back changed. He hated the brother he once loved and Lucifer had made his decision completely and finally. Any doubt that he may have had was gone by the time he reached us again.

  Furcas sat and waited. Andrealphus paced. After a time the other Archangels joined them to make their shift change. Michael gawked. “Where is he?”

  Andrealphus regarded them. “Soul searching.”

  Barachiel frowned. “What does this mean?”

  Andrealphus glared. “You do not need to understand. Wait.”

  Michael was tense. “Has Uriel not come yet?”

  Andrealphus struggled to rein in his temper. “No, was he supposed to?”

  Michael saw a fire in Andrealphus’ eyes that made him take a step back. “We found Belial. Uriel volunteered to carry out His orders but it has been some time…”

  Andrealphus made his face blank. “Alleluia.”

  Raphael watched them and edged away. Selaphiel and Jegudiel followed his lead. Raphael eyed Furcas and Andy. He spoke softly, “Catharsis comes now.”

  Uriel slammed into the ground, frantic. “He rages!”

  Michael looked up alarmed. “Who?”

  “Lucifer!”

  Michael looked out. “What has he done?”

  Lucifer flew towards them with Belial in his arms. Berith was at his side. Lucifer landed and let Belial down. She staggered, her wings cocked at angles, blood painted her skin red. Her eyes were empty. Uriel eyed her, openly desirous. Andrealphus reached for her in concern. She flinched and stumbled away from everyone.

  Lucifer looked from the blood on his hands to Uriel. “You, I will not spare.”

  Uriel paled.

  Michael stepped in between the two and looked at them both. “What is going on? Belial is supposed to have her wings removed. Why was this not done, Uriel?”

  Uriel trembled. “I was going to cut them, but I, then
, I did…other…things…”

  Michael frowned. “What does this mean?”

  “Michael.” Lucifer shook his head. “No more of this. That order is wrong.”

  Michael was aghast. “You disobey Him?”

  Lucifer nodded. “Yes, I only obey myself now.”

  “You cannot! None of you can.”

  Lucifer took a step towards Michael. “Yes, they can. I set them free, as I set you free. Michael, you are free, the tether no longer exists.”

  Michael was distressed. “No! You cannot disobey! You were not made that way!”

  Lucifer showed him his remade form. “I am new, recreated. I am my own now. Stand with me.”

  Michael stared at him. “But Lucifer…”

  “You are my second.” He gripped Michael’s shoulder. “Fight at my side, Michael.”

  Michael shook. “I am nothing, you said so yourself.”

  “You were nothing as I was nothing, but you can remake yourself as your own through your choices. Will you not stand with me?”

  Michael stared at him. His will was not as strong. Even freed, he felt the compulsion to obey Him. “I cannot.”

  “Then stand aside and do not fight me. You are no longer my second.” Michael went pale; he trembled and looked away, hurt. Lucifer gestured to Barachiel, Selaphiel, Jegudiel, and Raphael. “What is your decision?”

  Raphael shook his head. “I fight on neither side.” Selaphiel and Jegudiel followed him.

  Uriel stared at Berith. “Brother, what do you do?”

  Berith was cold. “You are my brother no longer.”

  Uriel’s face went blank. He moved to stand next to Michael. Barachiel looked between the two groups, afraid. He stepped up next to Michael. Michael tried once more. He held his hands out to Lucifer. “Please do not do this. You are perfect. Everything is back to the way that is right! Forget this folly! Be with us again. Be with me again.”

  “No.”

  Michael pleaded with his eyes. “Lucifer, I must tell Him, I can do naught else.”

  “Then you leave me no choice, Michael.” Lucifer sent a torrent of fire at him.

  The Archangels scattered into the air, beat at the fire, and raced for the throne. Michael held back, gave him one look of despair, and fled.