Silent Lies: A gripping psychological thriller

by Kathryn Croft

  Chapter Ten

  Josie

  * * *

  I haven’t had a chance to speak to Zach for a couple of weeks. I’ve seen him, though, in my lectures, and hung around afterwards to try and grab a word with him, but there’s always a queue of students waiting for him. I don’t even know what I want to say to him, I only know I have to say something.

  He saw me waiting for him today, and I thought he might make some sort of gesture that I should wait around, but his eyes only met mine briefly, giving nothing away, and then he turned back to the person he was speaking to. That loudmouth bleached-blonde woman who looks old enough to have kids at uni herself.

  I need to get real. Zach’s trying to distance himself from me after giving me a lift home that night. He regrets it now. But what was all that talk about friendship? He said we had a connection.

  Sod him. I don’t need this shit in my life. I’ve managed without any so-called friends since I came to London so I don’t need his friendship. It’s so much easier not to bother with people.

  So now I’m in a bar getting wrecked; Vanessa and a group of her friends surround me and I have no interest in what any of them are saying. One of them – Harry, is it? Something with an H – sits nudged up against me. He’s pretending he’s got no choice because six of us are crammed into a small booth, but even in my state I can see there is room on his other side.

  I push him away and dig my nails into his thigh just to ram home my message, but he’s too far gone to feel any pain. It’s not even 9 p.m. But then, who am I to judge?

  I almost will this guy to try something because the mood I’m in means I’ll enjoy ripping into him, shrinking him to the size of a woodlouse.

  Opposite me, Vanessa is shouting about something but laughing at the same time. I have no idea what she’s saying because all I can hear is noise – loud thudding music and everyone’s voices mixing together so that nobody makes any sense.

  Harry leans in to me. ‘So how d’you know Nessie?’ His voice pierces my ear.

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Nessie.’ He points to Vanessa, who’s gesticulating wildly about something to some girl I’ve never seen before.

  ‘No idea,’ I say. ‘We just know each other.’ I can’t be bothered to explain how I met Vanessa on my second day in London. I was drinking alone in a student bar and she started talking to me while we waited to be served. I didn’t want her to think I’d come out to drink on my own so I told her I’d been stood up by some guy.

  ‘Yeah, me too,’ he says, downing another tequila shot. At least I think that’s what he said, even though it makes no sense.

  He leans in towards me again and I edge away. ‘Look, Harry, I—’

  ‘It’s Hugh,’

  ‘Okay, Hugh. Look, I’m not feeling very sociable tonight so how about you back off? I just want to sit here and finish my drink and then get the hell out of here. Okay?’

  He hesitates for a moment, probably shocked I’ve been so outspoken. ‘Whatever,’ he says eventually, turning away from me. And under his breath I hear him say, ‘Nessie needs to be more picky about the friends she chooses.’ Somehow I hear every word in perfect clarity. But it’s okay – I don’t give a damn what Harry, or Hugh, or whatever the hell his name is, thinks of me.

  Someone ends up buying another round before I’ve finished my last drink so I end up staying for just one more. Thankfully, Hugh has moved on and is now harassing Vanessa’s pretty Chinese friend, who, unlike me, is polite enough, or drunk enough, to bother talking to him.

  What am I doing here? This isn’t me. Or at least if it is, it shouldn’t be. This isn’t the life I want, and I’m not like these people. Not only are they younger than me they’ve got nothing to worry about. All they want to do is have fun, while I’m just here to escape.

  I need to get out of here.

  Nobody notices when I slip away. At least it feels like I’m slipping away, when in reality I’m staggering, stumbling all over the place.

  Outside the icy air sobers me up enough for me to get my bearings. I’m in Chiswick and I need to get a bus back to Ealing. But what bus do I need? The stop across the road looks vaguely familiar so I try my luck and head towards it.

  Somehow I end up on the right bus, sitting close to the driver because he took pity on me and told me he’d let me know when I get to my stop. ‘Just in case you fall asleep,’ he’d said.

  But there’s no chance of that. Every second closer to home sobers me up another notch as I wonder if I’ll have to see Alison, if she’ll confront me again. Knowing all I’ll do when I get into bed is think about Zach, even though I’ve vowed not to. Worrying about that damn assignment I had to rewrite that I still haven’t had back.

  When my phone pings with an email alert I almost can’t be bothered to check it, but habit compels me to have a look. And when I see it’s from Zach, with the subject heading Assignment, my heart feels like it’s in my throat. He’s never emailed me before so this is bad. Very bad. I did the best I could with that assignment, in the few hours I had to rewrite it after Alison deleted it, but now I have to face not only a terrible mark, but Zach’s disappointment too.

  I take a deep breath then open the message. It’s three words long.

  95%. You star!

  That’s it. Three short but powerful words that send me soaring. I jump up and grab hold of the pole by the bus driver and press the stop button. I’m smiling so hard I must look like a lunatic, but then I’m already drunk so nobody will be surprised.

  ‘This isn’t your stop,’ the bus driver says.

  But I ignore him. I know where I am now and it’s only two more stops. The walk will do me good. He pulls the bus to a halt and I jump off, walking on air.

  Now the effects of the alcohol are wearing off, I begin to feel the cold as I head home. It’s quiet out here and my footsteps echo into the night. I’m almost at the flat when an arm grabs me from behind and a rough, large hand covers my mouth. I’m dragged backwards, and shoved into the back seat of a car before I even have a chance to panic.

  Within seconds, fear sets in. But I won’t scream. I need to stay calm.

  I turn around to face my attacker, who has me pinned down now so I can’t move. He’s a large man and even though I don’t recognise his face – narrow eyes set too close together, receding hair that looks brown, though it’s hard to tell in the dark – I know this is not random.

  This man has been waiting for me.

  ‘Josie,’ he says, his voice deep and familiar. He sounds a bit like Johnny. Memories flood back to me. ‘Finally we meet. I think we need to have a bit of a chat, don’t you?’

  I struggle beneath his heavy arms. ‘No. Let me out of this fucking car.’

  ‘Or what? You’ll scream? There’s no one around, Josie. Besides, we’re going for a little drive in a sec. Once I’ve made sure you’re not going anywhere.’ He reaches to the floor and grabs a roll of duct tape, wrapping it around my wrists and ankles so tightly it burns into my skin. Then he reaches into my pocket and grabs my mobile. He’s right about one thing: I’m not going anywhere.

  Despite my vulnerable situation, I still refuse to show any fear, even though my insides have turned to liquid. ‘What do you want? Friend of Johnny’s, are you? Or Liv’s? Just get this over with and tell me what the hell you want.’

  He laughs. ‘Johnny was right about you – he said you had balls. But I don’t care about that.’ He slams the back door shut and jumps in the driver’s seat. I lurch backwards as he drives off.

  ‘You’re one of his cousins, aren’t you?’ I think I knew this the second I saw him. He has that same twisted look about him. Similar arrogance in his voice, as if they’ve grown up together and learned from each other.

  ‘It doesn’t matter who I am. Listen to me. You’re gonna shut the fuck up while I get to where we’re going. And then you’re gonna listen to me and do exactly what I say. Got it?’

  I fake a loud, exaggerated laugh. It’s all I can d
o to stop myself throwing up. ‘Someone’s been watching too many gangster movies, haven’t they?’

  But rather than show his anger and hit back with some remark designed to scare me, he says nothing, keeping his eyes fixed on the road. And somehow his lack of words is more sinister than anything he could have said.

  During the silence I try to keep calm. This man won’t hurt me, I’m certain of that, or he would have already done it. With a cousin already in prison he’s unlikely to come after the girl who had to put him there.

  But the longer he drives, the less convinced I become that he won’t do anything to me. I stare through the window and eventually realise from the signs that we’re heading towards north London. Why is he driving me so far away?

  To stop myself thinking about this, I focus on the positive things in my life. There’s Kieren, of course. And my degree. I’ve got to get a good career so that I can look after Kieren and get him away from her. From people like this man. There shouldn’t be a court in the world that will allow him to stay with her if I’m in a strong enough position to oppose it.

  And there’s Zach. I replay the conversation we had in his car until I believe his words again. He hasn’t been avoiding me, he’s just busy, a professional man doing his best for his students. I’m not the kind of girl who imagines these kinds of things and I’m not some silly young fool with a crush on her lecturer. This isn’t like that at all. But whatever it is can’t be easily explained.

  Human imperfection. That’s all I can describe it as.

  Although I’m not familiar with any of the buildings or roads we’re passing through, a sign lets me know we’re in Enfield. I haven’t lived in London long enough to venture much further than the West End, and not knowing where I am makes me feel even more uneasy.

  Finally he pulls into a narrow road, just past a large block of flats. Perhaps he lives here. When Liv was with Johnny I spent so little time in his presence that I know barely anything about his family. I only know he has three sisters and loads of cousins, but none of them ever visited the house when I lived there. I try to memorise my surroundings, just in case I make it out of here alive.

  He cuts off the engine and turns to face me. ‘Right. This is simple, Josie. I just need you to do one thing. That’s it. One simple little thing, and then you can get on with the cosy little life you’ve made for yourself here in London.’

  And now I know what he wants before he even says it. ‘I’m not withdrawing my statement. Never. So you can just kill me right now, if that’s what you want, but it won’t make any difference. That bastard can rot in prison.’

  A fist flies into my face, knocking me back against the seat. I want to press my hands to the source of the pain, but they are tied tightly together.

  ‘Don’t even think about reporting this,’ he says, smirking. ‘I’ve got an airtight alibi and was nowhere near London tonight.’

  ‘Shame Johnny didn’t have one the night he attacked me, isn’t it?’

  ‘Attacked’ isn’t even the right word. That suggests it was something quick, spur of the moment, a done in anger kind of thing. But, no, what he did to me was far worse than that.

  ‘That’s the problem, isn’t it, Josie? It wasn’t Johnny. Never. He wouldn’t do something like that, especially to his girlfriend’s daughter, so why don’t you just be a good little girl for once in your sorry life and admit to the police that you lied?’

  ‘Why would I lie? What possible reason would I have?’

  ‘Because you hated Johnny, didn’t you? Jealous, weren’t you? You probably wanted him for yourself and couldn’t stand the thought of your mum having him. Little slut! What were you – seventeen, eighteen? A bloody kid.’

  And that’s what makes it so much worse that Liv defended him, refused to believe he’d done that to me. I wasn’t even an adult, not really.

  I almost laugh; is this man really saying these words to me? I only ever told the truth, and I won’t lie now to save that monster. ‘You can threaten me all you want, nothing’s worse than what he’s already done.’ I try to keep my voice firm, even though I’m shaking.

  He slams his fists on the steering wheel then turns back, grabbing me by the neck. ‘Listen, you little bitch. If you think what he did was bad you’d better think again, because that will seem like a trip to Disneyland compared to what’ll happen if you don’t put this right. Understand?’ He doesn’t wait for an answer. ‘It’s simple. All you have to do is tell the police you lied. Maybe you’ll get in a bit of trouble for that, but believe me, that’s the easier option.’

  ‘They’ll never believe it. There are photos, evidence of what Johnny did.’

  ‘Tell them it happened on your way home and it was a stranger. Simple.’ Without any warning he draws a knife from the glove compartment, and just as I’m praying for this to be as painless as possible, he cuts through the duct tape I’m bound with. ‘Now get the hell out of my car. The clock’s ticking, Josie. Tick tock, tick tock.’

  * * *

  I don’t respond well to threats. There’s too much of a fighter in me, too much stubbornness, which can be an asset but often gets me into trouble. Yes, I’m shaken up as I walk away from that man’s car – I still don’t know his name – but I’m also more determined than I’ve ever been. I won’t be a victim. I had no choice but to become one when Johnny came at me that night, but never again will I let that happen.

  Liv, my so-called mother. Johnny. His cousin. Even Alison. ‘Bring it on,’ I scream into the night. ‘I’m ready for you all.’

  Chapter Eleven

  Mia

  * * *

  ‘Hi. Mia, isn’t it?’ Dominic offers his hand while I can only stare, open-mouthed, unable to form any words or take his hand. ‘I’m so sorry to just turn up like this, but I thought it would be better if we spoke in person. Is that okay?’ When I still can’t speak, he puts his hand down and continues speaking. ‘You probably don’t remember me, but I was a colleague of Zach’s. We spoke at the funeral.’

  Finally, I find my voice, but the frown remains on my face. I know why he’s here – Alison must have told him I followed him home the other day, and he’s about to tell me to back off. ‘Yes, I remember. Um…’

  ‘I can see you’re confused, and rightly so, but could we just have a quick chat? I won’t take up too much of your time, I know how busy you must be. How is your little one? I remember her being about two, so she must be seven now?’

  This is strange. It doesn’t add up; his voice is apologetic – kind, even – when he should be angry.

  I tell him he’s right, that Freya’s seven now, but make no move to let him in. ‘What’s this about, Dominic?’

  He lets out a heavy sigh. ‘I know Alison came to see you on Wednesday, and I just thought I’d better explain a few things.’

  So he’s here to tell me what Alison meant about Zach. Nausea bubbles in my stomach. This is worse than I thought. ‘Okay, but let’s go across to the park.’ There is no way I will let him in the house.

  Although Dominic seems surprised I’ve suggested this, he quickly agrees and less than a minute later we’re sitting on the bench I usually share with Freya, while kids flurry past us, their shouts and screams mingling in the air. At least we’re in public.

  ‘Before you say anything,’ I say, ‘I can’t discuss anything Alison said during our session, even if she doesn’t intend to come and see me again. You have to understand that.’

  He nods. ‘Yes, I thought that would be the case. But I can talk to you about her, can’t I? You don’t need to tell me anything she’s said. Actually, I’m not even sure I want to know what she’s said, although I can hazard a guess.’

  I’m not sure about talking to this man; it’s dodgy ground, a grey area I’ve never had to think about before, but if I tread carefully I shouldn’t get in any trouble. ‘What’s this about, Dominic?’ I know the answer but I can’t be the one to bring it up.

  A dog runs past us, barking excitedly as it cha
ses a tennis ball. ‘I think I might know what Alison said to you, and I’m so sorry, but, well, she’s a bit disturbed. And if I’m right, she should never have mentioned Zach like that.’ He looks at me and I give a small nod, even though I probably shouldn’t. Dominic takes it as his sign to continue. ‘Telling you he didn’t kill himself, it’s just awful. I don’t know why she said it, and I know you probably need some kind of explanation, but the best I can offer is that she doesn’t even know what she’s saying herself.’

  My whole body tenses when I hear Dominic’s words. It’s bad enough that Alison said them to me but now I’m hearing it all over again. From another person I don’t know or trust. And if this man is abusing Alison, then it makes no sense that she’d talk to him about Zach. ‘How do you know what she did or didn’t say to me? Have you talked to her about what she’s claiming?’

  He shakes his head. ‘No, but sometimes she mumbles to herself and I don’t think she even realises what she’s saying. She just blurted it out the other day. I don’t think she even knew I heard her.’

  The more this man says, the more I struggle to believe him. ‘But why would she say what you’re suggesting?’ I ask. ‘She didn’t even know Zach. It doesn’t make sense.’

  ‘You’re right. She didn’t know Zach. Look, this is really hard to talk about, especially considering how you lost your husband, but, well, Alison has issues. She’s on heavy medication for depression and anxiety, has been for years and… God, I feel awful talking about her like this, but she’s been prone to concocting stories.’

  It takes me a moment to fully understand what he’s saying, and even when I’ve got to grips with it, there is still so much not adding up. ‘But that still doesn’t explain why she would track me down.’

  He raises his eyes. ‘Damn it, I probably shouldn’t be saying any of this, but I don’t know what else to do. Here’s the thing: when she was in her third year at university, Alison shared a flat with Josie Carpenter. The flat Zach was found in.’