Silent Lies: A gripping psychological thriller

by Kathryn Croft

  The ground begins to sink beneath my feet. Hearing that name still cuts like a blade, even now. And this is just one more thing that doesn’t make sense. ‘No, you’re wrong. She couldn’t have. The police said Josie lived alone. She didn’t have a flatmate.’

  He nods. ‘She was living alone at the time. Alison had moved out a couple of months before. I guess the police didn’t think that was important.’

  Every word he says pierces my gut, but I need to know everything. ‘So they never interviewed her?’

  ‘No. But why would they? She wasn’t friends with Josie, she hadn’t seen her since she’d moved out. She couldn’t tell them anything that would help.’

  But this is not why I’m asking. It’s not Josie Carpenter I need to know about, it’s Zach. ‘So you’re saying I can’t believe anything Alison said?’

  He turns around on the bench so his whole body faces me, and for the first time I notice specks of grey in his black hair. ‘Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I’m so sorry, Mia. After everything you’ve been through, that must have been the last thing you needed to hear, five years later. I can only apologise for what she did.’

  I shake my head, the one thing I need to know still pounding against my skull. ‘But why did she say it? It doesn’t make sense.’

  ‘That’s the trouble. Alison rarely does. And I should know, I’ve been with her for years, and she’s rarely been okay in that time. I mean there’ve been glimpses of hope when I thought she’d just… be all right, I suppose, but they’re always short-lived.’

  ‘How long have you been together?’

  ‘Three years,’ he says. ‘But I knew of her before that. She was a student at the University of West London when Zach and I were both there. I didn’t teach her, and neither did Zach, as she was studying environmental science. But I’d seen her around. She was hard to miss, with that red hair. It was wavy then, though she straightens it now, of course, and looks quite different, but I guess she was young. The same age as Josie Carpenter.’ His hand flies to his mouth, but the gesture feels fake. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t keep bringing her up.’

  When I don’t speak, Dominic fills in the gaps. ‘Don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t involved with her when she was a student. I was married at that time, but years later, after my divorce, I met Alison in a hospital waiting room.’ He pauses and his eyes flick upwards. ‘Oh, man, that sounds so bad, doesn’t it? But we’d both been in A&E for hours and once we’d realised she was a student when I was teaching there we just spent the whole time chatting.’ He holds up his wrist. ‘Turns out I’d broken this.’

  ‘Why… why was Alison there?’ It seems so much of a coincidence.

  ‘She… Well, it turns out she was feeling a bit low and thought she’d get checked out. Apparently she’d had thoughts of… harming herself. Sorry, Mia, that must be hard to hear after Zach.’

  He doesn’t realise that in my job I hear this a lot, and I can’t think about myself at these times. ‘It’s okay.’

  ‘Anyway,’ Dominic continues, ‘at the time she told me she was there for stomach pain, which she thought might be appendicitis. I was even getting angry with the doctors, cursing them for leaving her waiting so long. So she was pretty much lying to me right from the start. But they say love is blind, don’t they? And it’s not her fault. She just needs help.’

  Dominic’s story is convincing. Almost too convincing. How do I know he’s telling me the truth, and that it really is Alison who has been lying? How can I trust anything either of them says?

  ‘Sorry for rambling,’ he says. ‘Here’s the thing – I said this to you at the funeral, but I still don’t believe Zach had anything to do with what happened to Josie. I really don’t. I don’t know if Alison said anything about that to you – or what she might have said if she did – but I hope you don’t ever believe that Zach was guilty.’

  I want to scream at him: How can you know that when you barely knew him? You were just colleagues, passing in the hallway and maybe saying hello to each other. You weren’t friends and he never once mentioned you. But I bite my tongue. If I’m to get information out of Dominic then I need to stay calm. ‘You weren’t close friends, though, were you?’

  He shakes his head. ‘We spoke quite a bit. We were in different departments so it wasn’t that easy to find time to get together, but we always meant to go for a drink or something.’

  And yet at the funeral Dominic had insisted that Zach was a good man, as if he had evidence of this and knew it without a doubt. But this type of thing is typical of certain people when someone they know dies. They want to be part of it, act as though the loss is theirs.

  ‘Why did you get divorced?’ I feel as though I’m interrogating him, as if I’m somehow investigating Zach’s death, but I just want answers.

  He looks down and stares at his left hand, absent of any rings. ‘Yeah. I messed that one up. We divorced shortly after… you know.’

  ‘Elaine, wasn’t it?’

  His eyes widen. ‘Yeah. Do you know her?’

  An image of one of the website links I found flashes into my head. ‘She’s an estate agent, isn’t she? With her own business?’ I have no idea whether or not this is the right woman I’m talking about, but it’s worth taking a chance.

  To my relief he nods, seeming not to notice I’ve avoided answering his question. ‘Yep. I helped her set it up and then a few years later she was forcing me to sign divorce papers. But, looking back, she did me a favour, because now I’ve got Alison. I know she’s got her issues but I do love her.’

  His face lights up when he says this, and it’s impossible to picture him as the man Alison described, but I can’t simply trust everything he’s telling me. Though when I picture Alison in my office the other day, how bizarre her behaviour was, I can’t help but lean towards him.

  ‘So you have no idea why she’d say that about Zach?’

  ‘I wish I could tell you, Mia, I really do. And again, I’m so sorry for her dragging all this up. Look, I’ll talk to her and make her promise to leave you alone, but I just had to come and speak to you personally. I kind of feel responsible. I told her to come off her medication against the doctor’s advice because she was just so sick on it. But maybe this is worse.’

  I don’t say anything; I’m still taking it all in and trying to make the pieces fit together so I won’t just blindly believe every word he says.

  Dominic shifts forward on the bench. ‘Listen, I’d better get back. Alison was quite agitated this afternoon so I don’t want to leave her on her own for too long.’ He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a business card. ‘Here’s my number, though. My mobile. Call me any time if I can help with anything.’

  As I reach for the card, I think how unusual it is that a university lecturer has a business card. Zach never did – at least not that I knew of. But there were lots of things I didn’t know about you, Zach, weren’t there?

  Dominic reaches for my hand before standing up, and this time I shake it, his firm grasp catching me off guard. And as I watch him walk away I remind myself not to be fooled, no matter how genuine he seems. People are good at masking things when they have to.

  * * *

  As evening draws in I realise that I don’t feel any better after Dominic’s visit. Although a lot of what he said could explain Alison’s behaviour, he still couldn’t give me a reason for why she came to me, so now I have a whole new set of questions. But, without realising it, he has told me exactly where I can find his ex-wife, and she might shed some light on whether or not I can trust him. I won’t be able to let this go until I know for sure that Alison is safe, and what she thinks she knows about Zach’s death. The fact that she so quickly retracted her statement – pretended, in fact, that she hadn’t said anything at all – only makes me believe that she’s scared. But of whom? And why?

  These are the questions I need answers to, and my starting point is finding out whether it’s Alison or Dominic who has things to hide.


  It’s too late in the evening to track down Elaine Bradford today, and most estate agents’ offices are closed on Sundays, but on Monday I will see if she can provide me with any answers. Until then I have to sit tight, knowing that, for now at least, there is nothing more I can do.

  Although it’s nearly 8 p.m. it’s still warm outside, so I sit in the garden while I attempt to write up some notes for my client files. The neighbours to my right are having a barbeque and their guests are already raucous, so I eventually give up trying to get anything done.

  Will calls as I’m about to go inside, and asks if I’m okay. ‘No more fainting episodes, I hope?’

  I assure him I’m fine and distract him from worrying by asking what his plans are for tonight.

  He hesitates. ‘I have to meet a client. She’s having real problems with her tax return and her business is in a huge mess. It’s the only time she could meet so I couldn’t say no.’

  A lump forms in my throat but I will not give in to fear. I won’t ask him where they’re meeting or what she’s like because Will is not Zach and I refuse to mistrust him, unless I ever have evidence that he doesn’t deserve my trust. But still, it’s hard not to feel a pang of pain. That it could be happening all over again.

  ‘You don’t mind, do you?’ he asks.

  ‘No, of course not. It sounds like she needs help so that’s what you’ve got to do. I think I’ll just have an early night.’

  ‘Get some rest,’ he says. ‘I’m still worried about you. I’ll see you on Monday. And Mia? Don’t forget I love you.’

  * * *

  I go to bed, comforted by Will’s words and assurance, laying my head on my pillow and drifting off with thoughts of him, thoughts of our future together. But when I wake suddenly in the middle of the night, my body drenched in sweat and tears sliding down my cheeks, it is Zach I have been dreaming about.

  Chapter Twelve

  Josie

  * * *

  The last thing I will ever do is go to the police and change my statement, so Johnny’s cousin – or whoever he is – can go to hell. But for weeks now I’ve been constantly looking over my shoulder, my stomach lurching each time a new customer walks into the coffee shop, never heading out alone once it’s dark.

  University is the only place I feel remotely safe – it’s always brimming with people so he’d be stupid to try anything here, at least during the day. But I know one thing for sure: I can’t live like this, constantly on edge, waiting for something to happen – and it will happen. I have no doubt he intends to carry through on his threat.

  This is why I’m standing outside Zach’s office this lunchtime. There is nobody else I can go to. I don’t knock at first, but watch him through the narrow window in the door. His head is bent forward as he pores over some papers, so he doesn’t notice me. He looks so peaceful that it gives me second thoughts. How can I bring all my problems to him? The burden should be mine alone to share.

  I’m about to walk away when his head jolts up and he sees me. A smile spreads across his face and he beckons me in.

  ‘Actually, don’t worry,’ I say, popping my head through the door. ‘It’s nothing.’

  ‘Come in, Josie. I’ve been meaning to catch up with you. Sorry we haven’t chatted for a while. Do you mind closing the door?’

  So now it’s too late and I walk towards him and sit in front of his desk.

  ‘My novel,’ he says, shuffling together the papers he was reading and putting them in his drawer. ‘I’m struggling a bit with chapter eleven so I printed it out to read it on paper to see if that makes a difference. Sometimes it helps, but not today. I just can’t get my mind into it.’

  ‘You need to distance yourself from it for a bit and then go back to it.’ I say this as if I’m an expert when the truth is I have no idea what I’m talking about. I can’t even imagine writing anything longer than a short story. Unless I wrote about her – then I’d have plenty to say.

  ‘You’re right,’ he says. ‘I know that, but… I don’t know. I feel a huge sense of panic sometimes, like time’s running out and I have to get everything done now, before it’s too late. Sometimes it feels like there’ll be no tomorrow. Like I’m in a race and I can’t even see the finish line but I’ve just got to get there.’

  This surprises me – Zach always seems so laid-back. ‘What do you mean by “too late”?’

  ‘Oh, I’m not being morbid. I just feel this huge sense of urgency about everything. Anyway, just ignore me. How’s everything going with you?’

  But now I don’t want to talk about me. I want to hear all his thoughts, soak up every part of him I can. But there’s no way I’ll tell him this. Instead, I say, ‘Actually, things aren’t too good. That’s why I’m here. I was wondering if your offer still stands of listening to me if I ever needed to talk?’

  He smiles. ‘Of course, I meant what I said. Tell you what, though, shall we get out of here? I could do with some air. Freezing-cold air, but at least it’s fresher than in here.’

  ‘Sounds good.’

  ‘Great. Just give me a few minutes – I need to quickly speak to someone – but how about meeting me in the park in ten minutes? I’ll find you there.’

  * * *

  Zach was right about it being freezing, and my short biker jacket is no barrier against the wind. I’m in desperate need of a new coat but I need all the money I can get right now. I can just about manage to pay my rent and keep my car running, but I’ve also got to be able to provide for Kieren if anything happens before I graduate. I can’t believe for one second that Liv has changed and is actually looking after my brother properly, so I need to be prepared for anything. What happened the other night with that man threatening me has made me realise this more than ever.

  I wait for Zach on a bench by the lake, watching people as they walk past. Most of them are mothers with kids – something I can’t ever imagine being – and I wonder what’s behind their smiles and aura of normality, because we’re never just what we seem on the outside. Anyone passing me would think I’m a typical student. If only they knew.

  A hand taps my shoulder and I flinch.

  ‘Whoa, sorry!’ Zach says, holding up his hands. ‘Didn’t mean to scare you.’ His smile fades. ‘Josie, what’s wrong?’

  I shake my head. ‘I’m not okay, Zach. And I don’t know what to do.’

  And that’s when I tell him, avoiding his eyes most of the time because I can’t bear to see his reaction.

  * * *

  When I was eighteen my so-called mother’s boyfriend attacked me and left me for dead. With his fists. With a knife. With anything he could get his hands on. He never liked me. Said I was too mouthy and didn’t know my place. He also said I should never have been born, which was pretty much what my mum had been telling me my whole life.

  Liv’s probably right about that. She had no business having a child. She was sixteen, a kid herself, but that excuses nothing. My grandmother – an angel before she died – helped her out whenever she could and plenty of teenagers don’t have that support and still make a good go of parenting. But not Liv Carpenter. No, she gave birth to me and then treated me as though I had ruined her life with my mere existence. I was stopping her doing anything, meeting anyone decent, having a job. Partying. So she decided I would suffer for it.

  As a young child, half the time she starved me, refusing to give me any food but eating her own dinner right in front of me. If anyone ever asked why I was so skinny, she would tell them I refused to eat, that she was doing everything she could to help me but I just wouldn’t open my mouth. And they believed her – because what kind of person would starve their child? That kind of thing only happened on TV, didn’t it?

  She wouldn’t bath me for endless days and I’d smell so bad it used to make me feel sick. Once I snuck into the bathroom and tried to fill my own bath, but I didn’t realise I had to put the plug in and the water just kept disappearing. She came in and found me. Shame you didn’t get it right and acci
dentally drown yourself. Those were her exact words. I must have only been about three or four.

  There are tears in my eyes as I recall this and I look at Zach and see his disbelief and shock. He is a parent himself so probably can’t imagine the horrors I’m describing, can’t believe that anyone could behave this way to their own child. To any child.

  I can tell he has a thousand questions he wants to ask but doesn’t quite know where to start. ‘Where was your—’

  ‘My dad? Ha, she didn’t even know who my father was! Sixteen years old and sleeping with so many men she couldn’t work out who it was. I tried asking her who she thought it could be when I was old enough to understand, but her reply was always the same. She’d just say “Who cares?” and laugh in my face.’

  Zach shakes his head. ‘My God, Josie. I don’t know what to say.’

  But at least he’s not looking at me as though I’m a victim – I couldn’t handle that. I’m here, despite my childhood, despite everything, so I don’t need sympathy.

  He urges me to carry on but I warn him it only gets worse.

  I explain that Liv met Johnny when I was around sixteen and things got much worse for me then. She’d had boyfriends before, some of them even lived with us, but none of them had paid me any attention. I kept out of their way and they kept out of mine, so there weren’t many problems. I’d long ago stopped needing a mother and had taught myself how to pretty much do everything I needed to do to survive. But Liv hated that. She didn’t want me to be self-sufficient, because then she couldn’t mentally torture me.

  But Johnny was different. I don’t know why, but he despised me from the second he saw me. It couldn’t have been because he hated her having a child – Kieren was a baby, so if Johnny had just hated kids then he would have resented my brother too. More, probably, because Kieren still needed a lot of attention. At least I kept out of Johnny’s way. Or I tried to, at least. So all I can think of is that Liv must have told him how I’d ruined her life, that she’d had big plans before she got pregnant with me and now she was stuck, jobless and sponging off the government.