But I don’t stop to answer because there’s nothing I can tell him that will make sense or make him feel any better. Hating myself more than I ever have in my life, I rush from his room without looking back.
* * *
Walking home does nothing to clear my head and it doesn’t help that Craig keeps calling and texting me. I should never have started anything with him when my heart’s not in it. But I can never have Zach, so where does that leave me?
I’m about to turn off my phone when it rings again, but this time it’s Sinead. My heart almost stops. She’s only ever texted me before; it’s usually me calling her if I need more detailed information about how Kieren is doing.
‘Sinead? What is it? Has something happened?’
‘Sorry, Josie, I don’t want to panic you but, well, I haven’t actually seen Kieren for a few days. And it’s term time, so Liv should be taking him to school every morning, but she’s been leaving the house without him.’
I struggle to take in what she’s saying. ‘So you think she’s leaving him at home alone?’ This wouldn’t surprise me. And actually, if that’s what she’s doing then I finally have a chance to get Kieren out of there. There is no way social services will allow a five-year-old to be left at home alone.
‘I don’t know. I just know I haven’t seen him for ages but Liv’s still been going out. Maybe not in time for the school run, but probably a bit later. Around ten-ish.’
‘Sinead, can you remember when you last saw him? What day was it?’
There’s a long pause. ‘I’m not sure. Probably when I texted you last week. Friday, was it? I saw Liv bringing him back from school, but haven’t seen him since then. Haven’t even heard him and usually he’s out in the back garden at some point, even if it’s freezing or raining.’
Now I’m starting to panic. ‘Can you go and knock on the door? See if he’s there?’
‘Oh, Josie, what would I say? I can’t tell her I’m checking if Kieren’s there, can I? And she can’t stand me so what other reason would I have to be knocking on her door?’
‘I don’t know! Say anything!’ I’m yelling now, even though Sinead doesn’t deserve that – she’s only ever looked out for me. ‘This is important, Sinead!’
‘Look, Josie, if you’re that worried then why don’t you call the police? I can’t just go round there with no reason. No way. Sorry, love. I’ve been happy helping you all this time because I know what a bitch Liv is, but I can’t get involved in this. Just call the police.’
‘Sinead, please—’
But she’s cut me off.
For a few seconds I stare at my phone in disbelief, but then fear for Kieren forces me to act.
* * *
It’s late evening by the time I get to Brighton and make my way to Liv’s house. I walk past Sinead’s and try not to feel angry with her. After all, I can’t blame her for fearing the repercussions of crossing Liv. Sinead has seen what she’s capable of doing to her own daughter, so she knows Liv wouldn’t give a second thought to causing her neighbour harm if she felt it was deserved.
There’s a light on in the hallway of Liv’s house so I take a deep breath and head up the path, banging on the door when I reach it. There’s no point pretending this is a polite social call.
Within seconds she is flinging open the door, ready to curse whoever’s making such a racket, but when she sees it’s me she seems to forget what she was about to say.
‘What the hell are you doing here? I hope it’s to tell me you’re going to the police.’
‘Let me in,’ I say. I don’t set her straight, because I need to get in the house, need to see that Kieren is okay, without her realising that’s why I’m here.
‘If you’re fucking me around, Josie, I swear, I’ll—’
‘Just let me in, Liv, or I’m going straight home.’
She looks behind her for a second before moving aside, and I step forward, my heart threatening to burst from my chest. I haven’t set foot in this place since the attack.
‘Go in the front room,’ she says. But she doesn’t follow me; instead, she takes her time closing the front door and then makes a show of sorting out the shoes that are piled up there. I don’t know what game she’s playing – Liv never tidies up anything.
Even before I open the front-room door, I know for sure it’s a trap, but I go in anyway, because I need to know Kieren is okay and his safety comes before my own.
He’s slouched on the sofa, staring at the TV, one of his legs casually crossed over the other as if he feels at home here. Richard. He doesn’t even flinch when he sees me and barely glances in my direction.
‘You’d better be here to tell me you’re putting things right,’ he says, wiping his nose with his sleeve, his eyes still fixed on the TV.
I stay in the doorway and Liv barges past me, plonking herself on the sofa next to Richard. They are too cosy, too comfortable with each other; I sense it immediately.
‘Where’s Kieren?’ I ask, unable to keep the anger from my voice. Something isn’t right here; they are too smug.
Liv snorts. ‘What’s it to you? None of your bloody business!’
‘He’s my brother, and I’m more of a mother to him than you’ve been since the second he was born, so it is my business. Where is he?’
Richard leans forward and rests his arm on Liv’s knee. ‘You don’t just get to come in here and ask all sorts of sodding questions. Now, what are you doing about the police? Because the way I see it, you’ve now got two things to tell them you were wrong about.’ He’s too calm and I don’t like it. Too in control. They know something I don’t.
‘What are you talking about? What’s the second thing?’
He leans further forward. ‘I don’t appreciate the police knocking on my door in the middle of the bloody night, asking whether I was in London that night months ago. Prying into my business. I already told you, bitch, that I have an airtight alibi. But you still thought you’d try, didn’t you?’
So they did chase it up after all. That’s something, at least. ‘Yeah, I’m not letting you get away with that, or your pathetic threats. I’m still here, aren’t I, Richard? So I guess you were full of shit.’ My words mask the fear I’m feeling inside. After all, I don’t know this man, and if he’s anything like his cousin he won’t think twice about hurting me. And what have they done with Kieren?
‘You think you’re such a tough bitch, don’t you?’ He laughs, and beside him Liv joins in. She’s being exactly how she was with Johnny and that can only mean one thing: there’s something going on with these two. ‘Well, you weren’t so tough when Johnny was beating you half to death, were you? A bit of a mess, by his account. You’re not as hard as you think you are, Josie.’ A smile spreads across his face. That night in the car I didn’t notice the thick scar under his eye, but now I see it clearly. This man is no stranger to fighting.
Ignoring my fear, and Richard’s statement, I turn to face the woman who will never be my mother. ‘Just tell me where Kieren is.’ I try to keep my voice calm, even though my panic is rising.
Liv scrunches her whole face and suddenly she looks twenty years older. ‘Who do you think you are? If you’re not going to help Johnny then you can get the fuck out. I’ve tried to warn you, but whatever happens to you now is your own fault. Just get out of my house, Josie.’ She hisses her words at me.
‘Okay,’ I say. ‘That’s fine with me.’ And when they both turn back to the television I walk away and shut the door. Then I run to the stairs and climb them two at a time. I’ve got to know if Kieren is here, and I’ll deal with whatever those two do to me after I’ve checked.
Within seconds I hear heavy footsteps following me, and Richard shouting at me to get downstairs. But I don’t listen. I fling open Kieren’s bedroom door – preparing myself to expect the worst – and I’m shocked to find him here, asleep in his bed. The commotion makes him stir and he slowly sits up, squinting into the light from the hall. ‘JoJo?’ he murmurs, his
voice thick with sleep. ‘You’re here!’
But before I can ask if he’s okay, Richard grabs me by my hair and drags me backwards, throwing me towards the stairs, my head crashing into the wall. But I ignore the pain. ‘Why is Kieren in bed already? Why hasn’t he been at school?’
Liv is on the stairs now, her eyes almost popping out of her head, wild with all the hatred she has for me. ‘He’s ill, you stupid cow! Now get out of here – or this time it’ll be me calling the bloody police.’
‘I’ll see her out,’ says Richard, grabbing my arm and pulling me up.
And then I hear Kieren’s voice again and turn to see him standing behind his bedroom door, his face the only part of him visible. ‘JoJo,’ he says, his eyes filling with tears. ‘Don’t go.’
‘It’s okay, Kieren,’ I say, shrugging out of Richard’s grasp. ‘I’ll see you soon. Don’t you worry about anything, I’ll be back.’
‘No, you won’t,’ Richard says once we’re downstairs. He shoves me towards the front door, then leans down and whispers in my ear, his sticky breath hot against my skin. ‘I’ll kill you, Josie. Do you understand? Johnny should have done it in the first place, but don’t worry, I’ll make sure it happens. I won’t even have to get my hands dirty.’
And then he gives one final shove and I’m outside, the heels of my palms scraping against the pavement as I break my fall.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Mia
* * *
Alison does everything I ask of her; we visit several flats and she puts down a deposit on one in Hammersmith. It’s currently empty so is available immediately, but the letting agent tells us they need to check references and get paperwork sorted from the landlord, so it will be at least Thursday before she can move in.
It’s only Monday now, but Freya is happy to stay with Pam and Graham until then, and the extra days buy me more time.
I watch Alison whenever I can, studying her carefully, and with each passing day she seems to become more confident, moving further away from the timid woman who walked into my office on that first day we met. As far as I know, she’s had no contact with Dominic, and she’s spending less and less time on her phone, so, on the surface, at least, it appears that she’s making an effort to start her new life. But it is almost too perfect, too staged, and if it hadn’t been for her watching Will and me in bed the other night, I might have begun to trust her.
I’ve told Alison I’m going on a course today, because now I have everything in place to catch her out with her lie.
Dominic has agreed to meet me and I’ve made sure it’s somewhere public. I don’t want to be alone with him in his house and I can’t risk him finding out Alison has been staying with me. So now I’m in a coffee shop, close to where Zach used to work, and Dominic is late. I’ve considered the possibility that he might not turn up at all, but I’m willing to bet he’s so desperate for information on Alison that he’ll make sure he gets here.
Twenty minutes later he rushes through the door, scanning the room until he spots me. ‘Mia, I’m so sorry.’ He pulls out a chair and sits down. ‘I had a meeting that overran and then had to get back to Ealing. Thanks for waiting. And thanks for calling. You said you’d heard from Alison?’
‘Yes, that’s right. But there’s no way I’m telling you where she is.’ I hold my breath and wait for his reaction.
‘What? Why? What do you mean?’
‘I’ve seen her bruises, Dominic. First-hand. The bruises that you left all over her body.’
He leans forward and bangs his knuckles on the table. ‘Whoa, hold on! If you’re talking about that small bruise on her arm, that was an accident. She was hysterical and I was trying to calm her down. Maybe I grabbed her a bit too hard and it… it left a mark. But there’s no way I’d hurt her deliberately.’
‘A mark is not how I’d describe it. But I’m sure the police have already talked to you about that. Anyway, that’s not the only reason I’m here.’
‘Wait, Mia, what are you talking about? What police?’
‘Oh, come on, Dominic. I know Alison’s been to the police and that they’ve spoken to you. There’s no point denying anything any more.’
His mouth hangs open and he stumbles on his words. ‘Alison’s been to the police? What about?’
‘About the physical abuse she’s suffered at your hands. Probably mental abuse too. All of it. They know everything, Dominic.’
‘Wait, physical abuse? Are you saying I’ve hurt Alison? Is that what she’s told you?’
‘She’s my client. I can’t discuss that with you.’
‘Mia, listen, I’ve told you before that Alison’s not in her right frame of mind. She needs help, she’s disturbed.’
‘So you keep saying. But of course you would say that, wouldn’t you? Especially when she’s not around to defend herself. That’s just what men like you do, isn’t it?’
‘You’ve got this all wrong. And the police haven’t spoken to me about anything. Surely you can check that? I would never hurt Alison – or any woman.’
His words are so confident, so adamant, that I find myself doubting what I’m doing. What if I’ve got this all wrong? I start to feel short of breath. It won’t be long until panic overwhelms me again, unless I can calm myself down and think rationally. I’ve got to salvage this before it’s too late.
‘Prove it to me. Prove you haven’t done anything to Alison, and that she’s as troubled as you say she is.’
‘I can’t. How can I prove it? It’s my word against hers, isn’t it?’ He lets out a deep breath and his head flops back against his chair. ‘Wait. Maybe there is something.’ He leans forward again and pulls his phone from his pocket. ‘This is a text she sent me on Thursday.’
He holds the phone out and I tentatively take it, unsure what I’ll find on the screen. It’s definitely a text from Alison, but the words almost stop my breath.
I’ve got to go away for a few days to be by myself. I’m sorry, I just need some time to get myself straight. But I love you. Never forget that.
I read it again, hoping the words will say something different this time around, something that proves Alison has been telling the truth, because even though I’ve doubted her at times, her lying to me throws everything into question. I wanted to believe her claims about Dominic; that they stemmed from the confused mind of an unstable woman in an abusive relationship. But whether or not she truly knows anything about Zach, she has fabricated this story about her own partner. But why?
Dominic gives me some time then reaches for his phone. ‘From the look on your face I can tell that’s done something in my favour. What exactly did she tell you?’
I don’t mention that Alison’s been staying with me for the last few days, but I tell Dominic I’ve seen her and that she went to the police station; supposedly to report his abuse.
‘But what did she say to them? I swear, they haven’t called me or come round or anything.’
That’s when it dawns on me that I don’t actually know what she was doing in there. I was outside, and didn’t even wait to see her come out. Shooting pains cut through my stomach. When I manage to speak my voice is almost a whisper. ‘I don’t know what she said. Or if she even actually spoke to them.’
Dominic shakes his head. ‘This is what she does, Mia. I tried to tell you. She makes things up, tells lies to cover her tracks and then that leads to even more lies.’ He checks his watch. ‘Look, will you come somewhere with me? There’s someone I want you to meet. It might help you understand a bit more.’
I stare at him but don’t know how to reply.
‘You can drive if that makes you feel more comfortable? It’s only in Hayes, so not far.’
* * *
Alison’s parents must only be in their fifties, yet they look at least twenty years older than that. They live in a tiny ground-floor flat, but inside it’s neat and well maintained.
Dominic has already filled me in on the way here, and there was sadness in his
voice as he told me they used to own a large house in Milton Keynes but had to sell it to move to London to be closer to Alison. This was all they could afford and they even had to throw in over half their savings to buy it.
‘I hadn’t met her at that point,’ Dominic had explained. ‘It wasn’t long after, you know, what happened with Zach and Josie and everything. It just really affected Alison and she lost it a bit. Had some sort of breakdown. But they can tell you more about it.’
So now I stand in their cramped kitchen, not sure where this will lead or what I will find out, what it will mean for the future.
‘I’m so sorry for your loss,’ Camilla Frances says. It was no surprise to find out from Dominic that Cummings isn’t Alison’s real name. That might explain why I found no trace of her on the Internet when I first looked her up.
‘Why Cummings?’ I’d asked Dominic.
But he had no idea. ‘She probably just picked a name at random from the credits of a TV programme or something like that. Things are not always clearly thought out with Alison. A lot of the time what she does is just random.’
The loss Camilla refers to must be Zach, but to me it could also mean what I’m about to lose: everything I’ve believed in. ‘Thank you,’ I say.
‘It must be so awful for you. I hope people are leaving you alone now.’
I nod and try not to show my discomfort. If I tread carefully I will leave here with a much better insight into Alison, so I can’t afford to make an enemy of Camilla and Anthony. ‘It’s been a long road but nobody seems to bother me any more. I did get a lot of abuse about Zach in the beginning. Well, for over a year at least, but people seem to have short memories.’
She takes my hand. ‘Well, I’m glad they’re leaving you alone now.’ She turns to Dominic. ‘Please tell me you’ve found her?’
‘Yes, well, sort of. She’s not at home but I have heard from her this time. And she’s okay, so there’s really no need to worry.’
Silent Lies: A gripping psychological thriller Page 22