Cuts like a knife

by Dana Monahan

  Billie stopped, out of breath from the exertion, in front of Kelly's driveway. Kelly and Sierra were wet, but she had been nailed the worst. Water streamed off her hair, soaking her dress, which now clung like second skin. Billie turned her attention to the tree in front of Trent's house. Brody jumped down from his little perch, his laughter ringing loud and clear in the distance. Brad was prancing around in an imitation of one of Trent's victory dances, while Trent pulled down his gym shorts displaying his back end in a pair of boxers with hearts on it.

  Sierra chuckled. "Well, it could've been worse. Don’t you remember how they acted before school? Talk about your bad hair day." She pulled long wet strands away from her cheek.

  "No kidding," Kelly said. "I should've known when Brad and Trent weren't on the bus. Let's change and go to the rock"

  All three girls agreed and went in their separate directions.

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  Later that night, Billie lay in her bed with the latest best seller book. A warm breeze floated through her open window, and Billie turned away from her book to look out at the night. Some branches breaking caught her attention, and she walked to the window to see who was out there. Looking down, she saw the top of Sierra's head as she climbed her tree. Sierra reached the branch opposite Billie's window and smiled.

  "Hey. Thought I'd come by for a visit." She straddled the branch and leaned back against the thick tree trunk. "I saw your light on."

  "It's midnight. Is your mom at work or did you sneak out?" Sierra’s mom, Pam, worked the late night shift at Denny’s. Billie climbed onto her window ledge, letting her bare legs dangle outside. A skimpy green tank top and a pair of green and white striped boxers sufficed as her favorite pair of pajamas. Sierra was clad in a long beige shirt and fluffy brown slippers, an outfit Billie hadn’t seen her in since sixth grade. These days, she seemed more apt to wear a skimpy negligee.

  "She's at work. I wanted to talk to you." Sierra chewed her bottom lip for a moment then continued. "I'm afraid we're growing apart. I get jealous sometimes and say stupid things. One of these days you won't forgive me."

  "What're you jealous about? We'll always be friends. I know you’re not jealous of my gorgeous bod." Billie stuck out her chest for emphasis and grinned.

  "I don't know. You and Kelly are better friends. You have families."

  "What about my family? I'm like you. I have a single parent who's too busy for me."

  "Your mom loved you. She didn't desert you, she died. My dad didn't want me at all. You and Kelly seem like you don't want me anymore, either. I should've been born into a rich family; perhaps on a big ranch like Brody’s. I know you look down on me for living in that little mobile home."

  Billie rolled her eyes. All the whining was getting old, fast. Her words came slowly, as if Sierra were a wayward child. "Spare me. Where do you get this crap? Your mom loves you. Why don’t you give her a break already? She may not be rich, but she works her butt off for you, so you can have things, and all you do is give her a hard time. You’re totally tripping out lately. And just for the record, sometimes Kel and I just get tired of your being pissed off all the time."

  "Is that right? I guess I'm just miserable because I'm stuck with such loser friends." Sierra gave her parting shot before climbing down the tree. So much for a shoulder to cry on, she thought bitterly.

  "See what I mean," Billie called, watching her run off towards her house until her night shirt blended in with the darkness. With a sigh, Billie crawled back in bed and turned out the light.

  Why did she always have to open her big mouth? Kelly would’ve handled it without getting mad. One of these days, Billie vowed, hitting her pillow, she would think before spurting off her sarcastic little remarks. Maybe it was her fault they always argued now. A sad smile tugged at her lips as Billie remembered when they were younger, playing together in perfect harmony. She never really missed having sisters or brothers because her friends were always there. They were her family, she admitted, and fell asleep.

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  Slowly pulling herself from a deep sleep, Billie enjoyed the feel of sun-light warming her cheeks. Something tickled her nose, and she wiped her hand along her face with a tired sigh. Again, something tickled her nose. Billie sat up shaking her head and came face to face with Brody. She almost let out a scream, but he covered her mouth with one hand and with the other he put a finger to his lips, letting her know to be quiet. Her eyes narrowed as she swatted his hand away.

  "Can't you guys ever use the front door?" She closed her eyes and stretched, not at all bothered by his presence.

  "I never thought of that," Brody whispered’ as he smashed a pillow on her head. "And besides, I kind of like watching you sleep. You're almost actually quiet."

  After tossing the pillow back in his face, she climbed out of bed. "What do you mean 'almost’?"

  "You snore. Like a damn bull, if you ask me." Brody leaned back on her bed with his arms outstretched under his head, feeling perfectly at home. His chest was bare as he only had on a pair of light blue swim trunks. Dirty high tops were dangling off her frilly white bed spread.

  "I didn't ask you. What are you doing here at’," after glancing at her bedside clock she noted the time and pointed at her clock accusingly, "at seven in the morning. What are you even doing awake at seven in the morning?"

  "Now, that’s a tough one. God, you’re dense in the morning. I live on a ranch, remember. Some of us have to get up early and do chores. I was bored and, well, I was in the neighborhood. Get dressed and come for a swim before it gets real hot."

  "What if I say no? And why are you grinning at me like that?"

  "I'll toss you out the window in your boxers. And, since you asked, I can see right through that top."

  "You pervert. Is that all you think about?"

  "What else is there?" he answered seriously before climbing out the window. Before he disappeared from view, he caught her eye and wiggled his brows.

  “That figures”, she said to herself while putting on her black bikini. Without much concern for her appearance, she pulled a big shirt over her head, brushed out the unruly tangles in her hair, and grabbed her little bag containing a brush, tanning lotion, and a towel. When she stepped outside, he was lounging on the porch swing with one leg dangling off the side, looking completely at home. It irritated her that he seemed so confident she would come, so she walked past, making him catch up with her.

  An hour later, both of them climbed back on the rock after doing some laps. Its flat surface was already heated from the sun. Billie was watching two squirrels playing chase in a nearby oak tree, when Brody asked her to rub lotion on his back. To her embarrassment, her cheeks turned pink, but she soon found herself warming to the task. When she was done, she hoped he hadn't noticed how long she took, but the feel of his muscles tensing beneath her fingers felt neat. Must be the sun, she figured, denying the strange attraction. Putting the awkward moment behind her, Billie stretched out by his side.

  "Aren't you glad I woke you up now?" Brody asked, turning to look at her with his hand blocking the sun from his eyes.

  That lazy drawl made Billie’s pulse race, but her expression remained cool. She opened one eye, brushing the bangs off her cheeks with a quick swipe. "No. I'm wishing that I brought my water bottle. It would give me great satisfaction to pour it over your head. I owe you one."

  "You owe me two then. You still haven't gotten me back for the water balloon in the face."

  "Actually I have." Billie felt a certain satisfaction when he frowned in confusion. "Remember the night you had a hot date with Mary White? I guess it didn't turn out to be such a hot date after all."

  Brody leaned up on his elbows. "I believe I got a killer stomach ache and had to take her home early."

  "Do you remember that I offered you a soda that day when we all had a swim before your date?”

  "Yes."

  "Well, never mind."

  "I mind."

  "Wel
l, I sort of dropped a laxative in it before I gave it to you." When his jaw tensed, she sat up and casually started scooting away. She should have kept her mouth shut. That was obvious by the way he was clenching his jaw. Before she got too far, his hand shot out and shackled her wrist. After pinning her one hand, Brody moved with surprising speed and straddled her stomach, pinning her other hand at the same time.

  "Why, you little bitch. I was sick all night long. You poisoned me." First his expression was one of mild shock; then his face was inches from hers, his black eyes two slits of anger. For a moment they stared at each other, he then stood up pulling her with him. With one sharp tug, he tossed her over his shoulder and carried her to the edge of the rock, ignoring her cries for help.

  "No, don't! We were getting along so great." Pummeling his back with her fists was her only defense. When she kicked her legs, he stopped her easily enough with one arm. “Put me down. Put me down right now!”

  "You got it. Just so the day's not a total loss." Brody slapped her butt once before carelessly tossing her over the edge.

  "What's up, old man?” said Trent as he peered over the rock. “Looks like you two aren’t playing nice again. Was Billie being a bad girl or is that some sort of love technique? You do take playing hard to get to an extreme," Trent pulled himself all the way up to stand. As usual, he had on a pair of baggy cut-offs hanging from his slender hips, exposing the tops of his green boxers. "Your dad said I'd probably find you up here. Want to go shoot some hoops? I’ll try not to be too hard on you."

  “Sounds like a plan,” said Brody, gathering up his stuff.

  “What about Billie?”

  “What about her?” Brody climbed down behind Trent, who just shrugged.

  Billie surfaced ready for a fight, but on the climb up she realized she deserved it. Her prank had been over the line. That’s why she never copped to it before. She’d even suffered a guilty conscience. The only right thing to do now was swallow her pride and apologize. A few minutes later, with hands firmly planted on her hips, she scanned the area. Brody was gone; and so was her towel.

  Chapter 4

  Two years later

  “How’s this?” Doing a pirouette, Billie showed off her new Jordache jeans topped with a white, lacy blouse. She had never worn clothes that weren’t a size too big before and so she scrutinized herself in the mirror. “I still can’t believe this perm. What was I thinking?” Nervously, her hand came up to touch the spiral curls that now barely touched her shoulders. “Admit it, Kel. It’s my first date. Darren’s even a senior. And check me out. I look like a Shirley Temple wannabe.” With hand on hip, Billie turned to look at Kelly sprawling out on her bed.

  With her chin nestled in her hands, Kelly inspected Billie’s appearance. “No. Not Shirley Temple. More like a toy poodle.” When Billie’s eyes rounded, Kelly giggled. “I’m kidding. This is so exciting. It’s your first date and your first party. Sierra said everybody just sits around drinking beer and hanging out like we do at the rock.” Kelly rolled on her back, hanging her head over the bed. “I want all the details.” Flipping her legs over her head, she landed on her feet and crossed over to give Billie a hug. “I’ve got to go. Duty calls and my mom and dad are probably ready to go out.”

  Shortly after Kelly left, Billie heard a honk out front. Wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans, she sprinted down the stairs. Before opening the front door she took a deep breath, told her dad she was leaving and gave her hair one last self-conscious pat.

  The sun was just setting on a warm day. Billie waved and felt a quick stab of shyness when Darren smiled at her. It was the first time they would see each other out of school and with the exception of a few short walks to class and a couple of conversations at her locker they really didn’t know each other all that well. Trent had introduced them at football practice only three weeks ago.

  Billie climbed in his truck and placed her hands demurely in her lap. With a quick glance she appraised his appearance. The crew cut. A tall lanky body toned and tan from outdoor sports. His long nose and pointed chin slightly detracted from an otherwise handsome face. “Hi.” She blurted out. “It looks like it’s going to be a nice night.” Now that sounded totally lame, she thought and mentally kicked herself.

  “You’re nervous aren’t you?” There was a trace of humor in his voice. “Don’t sweat it. This party’s going to be a real kick. I heard there’s going be three kegs of Bud.” Leaning over, Darren placed a light kiss on her temple. “You’re in good hands.” With any luck, he added to himself. Just a few drinks and she would loosen up just fine. With that thought in mind, he turned the steering wheel all the way to the left and gunned the gas.

  Billie curbed her impulse to latch on to the dash when he squealed out and forced a smile. When he kept handing her a large cup of coke laced heavily with rum she drank a big gulp like a real trooper. By the time they got to the party she was feeling great.

  “Hold on a minute. Let me mix another drink.” Darren reached in back of the truck and pulled a coke out of the ice chest. Billie held out the empty cup and he filled it half full with coke and topped it off with the bottle of rum he kept behind his seat.

  About thirty cars lined the long dirt road, and Billie heard another one driving up behind her. Music and the sound of people laughing and talking could be heard a short distance away. The alcohol had her feeling light-headed and silly, so when Darren wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close for a kiss, she was willing. Reaching up around his neck, she enjoyed the sensation of his mouth hard on hers and his strong arms holding her tight. When he pulled away, she rated her first real kiss as a somewhat cool experience. No loss of control. No burning passion. Just nice, she admitted with slight disappointment.

  “You’ve got incredible eyes.” He said, slightly surprised that he hadn’t noticed them before. When they first met, he had been attracted to that impish little grin. She was cute, he had decided on the spot. Not beautiful, but cute in a sassy sort of way. “Let’s go party.” Darren said keeping an arm around her shoulder and handing her the drink with his other.

  The compliment made Billie giggle and she placed her arm around his waist. “I think I’m already buzzed. I’ve never had the hard stuff before. Oh, look. There’s Trent’s car. Sierra and Brad were coming with him.”

  “See I told you not to worry. We’re having fun already.”

  After paying the dollar cover charge, a friend of Darren’s stamped their hands and opened the gate to a wooden fence. On the inside, a swarm of high school kids wandered in and out of a large barn each carrying a large plastic cup. Billie scanned the area until she spotted Sierra sitting on a bench outside the barn. Long black hair and tight black pants made her hard to miss.

  After letting go of Darren, she rushed past the crowd of teenagers, raising her hand absently in a wave to friends passing by, and stopped in front of Sierra. “Hi.” She leaned over, giving Sierra a big hug, causing her drink to slosh over the rim of her cup. “Oops.” She giggled and plopped down on the bench. “I’m so glad you’re here.” When Trent and Brad walked out of the barn with their drinks, Billie let out a happy squeal and hugged them too.

  Sierra raised her brow in amusement. “Somebody’s been tipping the bottle. How did you get here anyways?” She didn’t wait for an answer. ”I think you’d better stick close to us tonight.”

  “Damn. You’re drinking some strong stuff girl. Look what it did to your hair.” Stepping forward, Trent tugged on one of her curls. “Here.” He pulled off his baseball cap, placing the bill low over her eyes. Both he and Brad laughed at her silly grin, when she looked up at them. The laughter died instantly when Darren stepped up and placed a possessive hand around her waist.

  “What’d you run off for? Don’t you remember you’re here with me tonight?”

  “I’m sorry. These are my best friends; Sierra, Brad and Trent.” Billie pointed to each of them and frowned slightly over their lack of a friendly response. Brad and Trent just
nodded their heads and Sierra flashed a quick, obviously fake, smile that disappeared as soon as it reached her lips.

  “Can I see you for a minute?” Trent asked Darren, walking a little off to the side.

  “What’s up?” Darren asked when they were out of earshot. “Make it quick. No offense, but I’m ready for a cold beer and a hot date.”

  “Billie’s not a hot date.”

  “That’s your opinion.”

  Trent sighed in frustration. Something compelled him to play protective older brother, but he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. Just go for it, he decided and looked Darren straight in the eye. “Here’s the deal. I don’t want to hear stories about Billie in the locker room. You got it?” Blue eyes clashed with brown as they sized each other up.

  “What’s going on here?” Billie strolled up handing Trent his cap. She noticed the hard set of Trent’s jaw and turned back to see Brad’s set in the same fashion.

  “I believe I was just threatened to stay away from you. Do you always bring bodyguards on a date?” Darren put his arm back around Billie’s waist, but his eyes stayed on Trent.

  “Oh, Trent, you didn’t! How could you?” Trent just sent her a sheepish look and stared down at his tennis shoes. Billie’s cheeks turned crimson as she sent Darren an apology with her eyes.

  “Come on. Let’s go get a beer.” Darren led her away toward the barn. Before they went around the corner, he lowered his hand to rest his thumb in her back pocket, and shot a cocky smile over his shoulder to Brad and Trent.

  “What a smug bastard.” Brad gulped down his beer. It hurt to see Billie with someone else. “Did you know she was seeing that jerk?” he asked Trent.