Dreaming God

by Rik Johnston

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  I

  A DRIVE WITH DOUGLAS DOWNE

  Tuesday sat alone in the waiting area holding Winston tightly, waiting for Douglas Downe to come and pick her up from Doctor Frederiksen’s office. Inside her mind, the voice of The Nightmare continued to taunt her, twisting the knife in her wound, reminding her that she was the one at fault for her mother’s death. After about an hour, Douglas Downe came into the office and without a word he walked directly up to Tuesday and held her like she had never been held before. After a few minutes, Tuesday pulled away from him, and saw that he had tear streaks on his face, truly saddened about the events of the day. Doctor Frederiksen emerged from the back to appraise the police officer on what he knew about Megan’s death.

  “Hello Officer, I’m Anthony Frederiksen.” The shrink announced himself, trying to get his foot in the door with Douglas Downe. “I am Tuesday’s therapist; my office will assist you in any way we can.” He made sure to place an emphasis on that last part loudly enough that Michelle would hear what he had said.

  Douglas stood up, and put his left and on Tuesday’s shoulder, and extended his right, giving the Doctor a good, firm handshake. “Pleasure to meet you.” Douglas said, pulling his hand back and standing near Tuesday, almost as if her was protecting her from Doctor Frederiksen. “I’m going to get this girl out of her and find her a place to stay, if I need anything from you, I’ll be sure to contact you.”

  Doctor Frederiksen felt uneasy about the way the police officer had dismissed him so easily, but wanted to explain the situation. “This patient is under my care, and it was her mother’s wish that I continue therapy with her. Now, she’s going to need it more than ever, wouldn’t you agree?” Doctor Frederiksen reached into his inside pocket and revealed a business card, which he handed to the police officer. Douglas accepted the card and put it in his shirt pocket where he could find it if he needed it.

  Tuesday’s eyes went wide, her head turning back and forth between Douglas Downe standing next to her, and Doctor Frederiksen where he was standing a few feet in front of her. She knew that he was lying, and she desperately wanted to call him out on it, but Doctor Frederiksen was right in the sense that she would need more therapy, especially since she would have to cope with the loss of her mother, but that small voice in the back of her mind told her that she wasn’t sure that he should be the one to continue her therapy.

  Tuesday looked up at Douglas Downe’s imposing figure, and the look on his face told her that he wasn’t buying Doctor Frederiksen’s story either. Michelle, who was also nearby, looked up from the desk with a look of confusion on her face. Doctor Frederiksen was clearly bluffing, but in the moment, nobody wanted to call him out on his bluff.

  “It’s been a long day for Tuesday.” Douglas asserted, looking at Doctor Frederiksen with an authoritarian look upon his face, hoping that he might back off. “I’m going to get her settled, and then we can discuss therapy options once she gets on track. I’ll call you if I need anything.”

  With that, Douglas Downe turned to leave, and motioned Tuesday to follow him, leaving Doctor Frederiksen and his hollow demands back in his office. The two of them left The Millwork Tavern to where Douglas Downe’s squad car was parked on the street and entered the vehicle. The police officer wasted no time in telling Tuesday what he thought of Doctor Frederiksen.

  “That guy’s a real piece of work!” Douglas stated, raising his voice, but not too much that it might frighten Tuesday. “I can’t believe that he would just lie to me like that!”

  “You knew he was lying?” Tuesday asked timidly, realizing that it was good that somebody was on her side for a change. “How did you know?”

  “I had lunch with your mother yesterday.” Douglas Downe was forthcoming with the details. “We talked about a lot of things, one of them being how she didn’t trust this therapist you were seeing. She told me that she was going to cut you loose from his sessions because you were having some problems.”

  “She told you that?” Tuesday questioned, not sure what was the truth and what was a lie.

  “Yeah.” Douglas replied somberly. “We talked about a lot of things this week.”

  “She said you guys were seeing each other again.” Tuesday confessed, feeling not only sad for her loss, but for his too. “I was really happy for both of you.”

  “You know, I’ve been interested in her for so long.” Douglas said, tears welling up in his eyes again. “I fell in love with her a long time ago, but it was impossible for us before, I’m a cop and she was into some bad things. I could always see there was a good person under all of that addiction and bad influence. I don’t know what broke her and made her that way, but I was so glad to see her finally cleaning up her life.”

  “Yeah, me too.” Tuesday muttered, showing interest while she continued to listen to what Douglas had to say about her mother.

  “You know, it’s a tragic irony.” Douglas sustained, trying to get his thoughts out in the open in some sort of rational order. “I mean, she was going so far down the tubes that you were bound to end up in the care of the State probably sooner than later. And when she cleans up her life, here you go anyway. It’s just miserable, you know what I mean?”

  “I was really proud of how far she had come.” Tuesday admitted, tears starting to fall down her face. “She’s worked so hard this last month or so, and now she’s. . . she’s gone.”

  “You have every right to be proud of her.” Douglas Downe told Tuesday, trying to change the tone of his voice to a more upbeat one. “She’s been doing some outpatient rehab, going to meetings and stuff. We’ve gotten some very positive reports on her treatment in the last couple of weeks. A while back, she got into some trouble by being around the wrong people. There was a knife fight outside the bar, and she was there. Not a part of the action or anything. But she was there and she was in sad shape. I took her to my place for the night so she could detox, and boy, was she angry with me for keeping her at my house until she was sober enough to leave. When she left in the morning, I suggested that she check herself into some sort of outpatient rehab.”

  “I imagine she was pretty ticked about that.” Tuesday laughed, choking back her tears. “She always hated being told what to do.”

  “No, she liked to think of herself as being independent.” Douglass stated, continuing to talk to Tuesday as she looked out at the flurries of snow blowing up against the sides of the road. “I lost track of her for a while, work kept me pretty busy, but I always meant to check up on her. Then I discovered that the department wanted to get her off the streets permanently, so they were building a case against her.”

  “You told me about that!” Tuesday replied, trying her best to remember the series of events that had led them here. “And then she overdosed, and was in the hospital.”

  “Yeah, fast forward to this week.” Douglas continued, pulling around the corner leading to the Cadence Falls Police Department. “The night the drug dealers attacked your home, I was fearful for her safety, and yours too. When I saw her that night I could see there was something in her core that wasn’t there before, something different about her. There was so much improvement and I was so impressed with the way she handled things. It was completely surprising that she asked me out to eat with her, and so I went a day or so later with her on a date. I asked her if her overdose had been a key element in the changes she was making in her life.”

  “Well?” Tuesday asked, hanging on every word that Douglass was telling her. “What did she say?”

  “She told me that the overdose had nothing to do with her decision.” Douglas confided in Tuesday, finding the words coming a little harder than they did before. “She told me that she made a promise to her little girl. She said that looking out for you was her new number one concern. She told me that she was hopeful things would work between us this time, because she needed to fill that void that was in both of your lives, and that she
was thinking about long term goals. I told her that I wouldn’t mind having the job.”

  Douglas became a little quiet, and Tuesday could tell that he was upset by talking about the hope that Megan had planted within him. It was then that she realized that Douglas was just as much of a victim as she had been in all of this, and her heart ached twice as much, for her loss and for his. He reached up with the sleeve of his uniform and wiped the tears from his face as they turned into the police station, suddenly he changed the subject, trying to be about business.

  “I have to take you to the station to do some paperwork on you.” Douglas said bluntly, not pulling any punches. “Is that okay?”

  Tuesday’s anxiety shot up hearing this, fearing that he knew that she had been responsible for her mother’s death. She did her best to keep a straight face, but Douglas could tell that she was terrified. “I’m not in trouble, am I?” Tuesday managed to ask, hoping that he wasn’t about to throw her in jail. The more she thought about it though, the more she deserved to go to jail. She had been forced to kill her own mother, though if she confessed that to anybody, who would believe it?

  “No, you’re not in any trouble.” Douglas answered back, trying to reassure her that this was just a procedural visit. “We just need to figure out what to do with you for the time being.”

  “What do you mean?” Tuesday asked, not liking the sound of what Douglas was saying. “You have to figure out what to do with me?”

  “Yeah, we have to find you a place to stay.” Douglas said, putting it all out there for her. “You might have to stay in Juvenile Detention tonight, but I promise, we will find you a place tomorrow.”

  Tuesday’s defenses shot up like a rocket on the Fourth of July. “Juvenile Detention?” She asked, becoming more and more uneasy as the seconds passed. “I’m not a criminal, so why do I have to be locked up like one?”

  Douglas chuckled at Tuesday’s assumption and did his best to calm her nervousness. “No, no. We’re not locking you up!” Douglas said reassuringly, hoping to get back on Tuesday’s good side. “We are just placing you in protective custody until we can find a foster home with an open spot for you.”

  Suddenly, Tuesday’s mind flashed on Jason, and how her parents operated a foster home for children who had been through much worse than she had. The answer was so obvious! Tuesday suddenly became excited with the possibility that she might get to see Jason soon. He might possibly be the only one who could console her. He had a way of doing that. She knew that Lauren Alkali would take her in, she just knew it!

  “Excuse me, Douglas?” Tuesday spoke up timidly, hoping to relay her information to him. “I know of a new foster care provider here in town. Can I request being placed with them?”

  Douglas pulled the squad car to a stop in the basement of the police station, parking in his assigned spot, acknowledging the information that Tuesday imparted upon him. “If they have a space for you, you may have just made my job a lot easier.” He said with a look of relief upon his face. “We will go and do the paperwork and give them a call to see if they have a room for you.”

  It wasn’t long before Tuesday was sitting at Douglas’ desk, and he was filling out reports regarding the accident, which he had a difficult time containing himself emotionally over while his hand scribbled information on the stack of paperwork. Tuesday answered the questions he had for her, mostly having to do with addresses and social security numbers and things of that nature. When he had finally finished, he asked Tuesday to go wait outside of his office while he called the Alkali family about a possible residence for her.

  Despite the tragedy, Tuesday was experiencing, the day did have a silver lining. She couldn’t wait to see Jason, but she dreading explaining to him what had happened to her mother. Everything depended on whether they had a room for her or not. She could see Douglas Downe through the window of his office, talking on the phone with the Alkali house, and spent several minutes on the phone with Lauren on the other end. Meanwhile Tuesday sat nervously in a chair, squeezing Winston’s hand, hoping for a quick and favorable resolution.

  After what seemed like an eternity, Douglas hung up the phone and opened the office door, a grim look on his face. He sat beside Tuesday, pausing for a moment, and then took a deep breath before filling her in on what he had learned.

  II

  HOME FOR THE LAST TIME

  “I talked to Lauren Alkali.” Douglas began, trying to find the best way to tell her what his conversation entailed. “They have a room at their house for you, but it will only be temporarily, like maybe a week or two.”

  “I don’t mean to seem ungrateful.” Tuesday said, asking for clarification. “But why only a couple of weeks?”

  “She told me that you and her son are romantically involved.” Douglas confessed, trying to break the news to Tuesday as best he could. “That’s more than she’s legally allowed to do so she and I are working on another option.”

  “Which option is that?” Tuesday asked, confused about what her future might bring to her. “Where will I go?”

  “I’ve got an idea.” Douglas told her, his face brightening up a little. “I am going to adopt you. The Alkalis are going to help me with that. “I feel as if I made a commitment to your Mom, and I want to be the man she thought I was and follow through. It is the best way I can think to honor her memory.”

  Tuesday couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It was only a more than an hour or so before that she had learned that he was serious enough about her mother that he was willing to marry her, now he wanted to adopt her? The variables of the situation were too numerous for her to think about with an objective mind. Tuesday knew that she would have to take some time with this. Douglas could sense Tuesday’s apprehension by the look on her face.

  “I mean, if you want to.” Douglas said, trying to explain. “I’ve seen what happens to orphans your age, they get swallowed by the system and become apathetic to the world. I want to take you in, and give you a fighting chance. But I’ll give you some time with this, I mean there’s only so much you can put yourself through in one day.”

  Tears began inexplicably falling from Tuesday’s eyes again, and she knew what Douglas was telling her was true. “I’ll honestly think about it.” She told him, extending her pinky out to make a promise with him. He reached his hand out and entwined his pinky finger with hers, a sad smile upon his face.

  “Pinky swear?” Tuesday asked, recalling how she had made such an oath with her mother only a couple of weeks prior.

  “Pinky swear.” Douglas answered.

  The entwining of the pinky fingers lingered on a few more seconds as Tuesday and Douglas Downe shared a moment of understanding between the two of them. This cop, who she had only met a month ago, was willing to take her in and care for her like she was his own. Tuesday could not fathom how one man could have been so wonderful to her mother, especially back in a time when Megan didn’t invite preferential treatment from anybody. This guy had put his job on the line, warning Tuesday about the drug raid they were planning, had bet it all to protect her Mom and her. This guy wanted more from Megan than any of the other guys wanted from her. He wanted her to clean up her life, and believed that there was something great festering under Megan’s harsh exterior. She refused to believe it, or even see it for the longest time, but Douglas had been completely in love with her. He was even planning on being the Dad that Tuesday never had. And even though Megan was gone, he still wanted that job. The thought of this sent Tuesday into another round of tears, which Douglas noticed immediately and walked into his office, returning with a box of tissues.

  “You can keep the box, okay? I have a feeling you’re going to need them.” Douglas stated compassionately. “The paperwork is done, if you’re ready to go.”

  Tuesday looked up at Douglas and it was all so clear. This guy would look out for her, and would work to make her as happy as he had aspired to make her mother.
In fact, Tuesday thought of it as a no-brainer. “You know what?” Tuesday asked, tears streaming down her face. “I accept your invitation. You’re going to be the best dad in the world!”

  Tuesday bounced off the seat she was sitting in and up into Douglas’ arms, where she found the strength to cry tears of joy on the worst day of her life. “Thank you so much!” Tuesday blubbered out, fitting her gratitude in between sobs. He just held her until she was ready to let go.

  When she finally did turn loose of him, they headed back down to the basement where his squad care was waiting for them to carry them to the Alkali house, which would be her home for a couple of weeks. Tuesday knew she needed a few things from her house.

  “Do you mind if we swing by my house and pick up some things?” Tuesday asked, looking tired as if the emotional roller coaster ride was catching up to her.

  “I don’t see a problem with that.” Douglas replied, smiling at the girl who would bring new meaning to his life.

  They pulled out from the garage, and drove across town without much conversation to be had. When they reached Tuesday’s house, Douglas pulled into the driveway and let her out of the car.

  Tuesday jumped out, the late autumn sun beginning to set behind her as her shoes crunched through the snow on the lawn in her walk to the door. She got her key from her bag and put it into the lock, opening the door. It felt so strange to Tuesday to walk into the house and know that her mother would never set foot inside it again. The thought made her lip quiver again, but she fought back the tears. Maybe one day she could tell Douglas about the circumstances of her mother’s death, but that would have to wait. She knew that the tears she had spent the afternoon shedding were not completely in sadness. She felt guilt, hatred, loss, and blamed it all on herself. The next time she encountered The Nightmare, she would make it suffer as she had suffered. She would exact her vengeance on that foul creature, and it would not be swift, she would take her time with it, and destroy it as slowly as one could imagine they could. She needed the power to defeat it, and it was time that she had begun to heed the teachings of Doctor Frederiksen and hate that monster in a way that she never hated any other living thing. It was time to let her dark out to play.

  Tuesday looked around her dimly lit home and flipped on a light switch to get her clean clothing out of the laundry. She gathered her most important items, and vowed to come and pack the rest of them as soon as she could. “What am I going to do with all of this stuff?” Tuesday silently thought to herself, trying to make heads or tails of the situation. She suddenly felt overwhelmed by the entire day, and wished more than anything that her mother was there to make everything alright. She walked up the stairs and into her mother’s room, where the unmade bed invited her for another good cry. She flopped down on the bed, and immediately sensed her mother’s scent on the pillows and blanket, enveloped herself in it, and she finally let out all the pain, the rage, the frustration, the loss and the guilt of the day.

  Tuesday cried for the better part of the next fifteen minutes, not holding back anything. She just couldn’t believe her mother was gone. She laid upon her mother’s bed, kicking and trashing and just letting it all out, every guilty thought, every regret, and the thought of every moment with her mother that she had ever taken for granted, none of which she would ever get back again.

  When Tuesday found that she could get herself under control, she sat up on the bed and saw a stack of papers on the dresser on the other side of the room. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she stood up and walked over to the dresser and found a file folder, with about half of the pages turned upside down on the left-hand side, and half turned right side up on the right-hand side. This must have been the file that her mother told her about from back when she was taking the experimental drug. She looked at it, and wondered if there was more to her mother’s secrets than she had previously thought. Her mother had clearly been reading it, but what Tuesday was curious about was the timing. “Why was she looking at this? Why now?”

  Tuesday knew that there was something in there that filled in the blanks of her mother’s backstory, and her own personal history. She reached out for the file, her hand hovering over it for a moment, hesitating. This file was a virtual Pandora’s Box of information, that when read, could not be forgotten, and Tuesday knew that it might very well taint her perception of her mother. Tuesday felt haunted in the presence of the folder, as if her mother’s ghosts had come back to haunt her. Tuesday reconciled her thought in a flash, “Whoever she was then was not who she was when she died.”

  Tuesday stacked the papers back together and closed the folder, scooping it up and shoving it into her bag to take with her. She also walked back over to her mother’s bed, folding up her blanket to take with her. She piled the items she planned to take with her by the door as she made a last-minute sweep of the house to see if there was anything she had forgotten. Spying a few odds and ends, she put them together with the other things and turned on the porch light so she could find her way back to the squad car with her belongings.

  Tuesday opened up the door and began tossing her belongings out onto the porch, catching Douglas’ eye from the squad car. “Hey, you need some help?” He called out to her, sounding concerned. “I was getting a little worried about you.”

  “Yeah, I could use some help.” Tuesday admitted.

  Douglas was on the porch in a flash, helping Tuesday carry the bags of clothing and accessories to the car. It wasn’t long before they had it loaded up, and Tuesday locked the door to the house again. She walked away from the house but turned to look at it again, a deep sadness penetrating her heart. She knew she would have to come back and deal with it at some point, but she wouldn’t put any more thought into it until she was ready to. She knew that she needed to distance herself from it and take life a day at a time, starting with this very night. Douglas Downe pulled out of the driveway, the house disappeared from their line of sight as they put distance between themselves and the property. Tuesday felt as if she had left a piece of herself in that house, neglected and alone, and it would starve to death in there with nobody to look after it.

  And Tuesday knew that it was going to be a long and difficult night.

  III

  THE ALKALI HOUSE

  Tuesday and Douglas arrived at the Alkali House, getting themselves out of the car and walking up to the doorway, anxiety filling Tuesday’s mind once again. Her apprehension was getting the better of her, as she slowed down her walk toward the house, each step seeming to take longer than the one before it. The entire trek to their door seemed as if it took a lifetime, but before they knew it, they were there, and Douglas was ringing the doorbell. Instead of the doorbell, Tuesday heard the insidious laughter of The Nightmare in her head, which snapped her focus back to the moment that her mother was killed, and the rage welled up within her. She forced it back down into herself again, as the door opened.

  “Oh hello, Tuesday!” Lauren said, being as complimentary and inviting as she could be. “We are so glad to have you here, won’t you please come inside?” Tuesday smiled politely at Lauren, clearly nervous with no comprehension on what she should expect.

  Lauren knew full well that Tuesday was suffering immensely and that she would be for a while. She had experience talking with children who had lost their parents, and knew that there were no easy answers when it came to counseling their grief. In her experience, it was better to not bring it up at all until Tuesday was ready to talk about it. If she would ever be ready to talk about it. It was her best policy to treat everything as business as usual, and when Tuesday was ready, then they would have a long discussion about it.

  A few minutes later Douglas began unloading Tuesday’s belongings, with the help of John and Jason. After a few trips back and forth from the car to the house, they finally were able to bring everything in. The last trip Douglas made back to the car for some paperwork that he needed Lauren to sign, s
tating that she would be providing temporary foster care to Tuesday. After all the paperwork was signed, Tuesday said goodbye to Douglas Downe for the night, and expressed to him that she was hopeful that their new life would be good for them both. He hugged her tightly, saying nothing, but letting his actions do the talking. When he let go of her, she found herself smiling, first because she was looking forward to having such an incredible dad, and secondly because Jason had suddenly appeared in the foyer, helping to move her things to her room.

  Tuesday took comfort in the fact that Jason would be instantly available for the next couple of weeks, that he could help her with her grieving in a way that nobody else could. Jason got her in a way that nobody else did, and she was excruciatingly thankful for his presence in Cadence Falls. She didn’t know what had made his parents choose Cadence Falls, but Jason was truly a blessing in her life, a blessing that she would never forget.

  Douglas pulled Lauren aside for a moment and thanked her for helping him out with Tuesday and that she had agreed to go through with the custody with him. “Yeah, I think she’s been through quite a lot more than just her mother’s death.” Douglas told her, Lauren nodding as he continued to explain his position. “She isn’t saying what it is, but whatever you can do to comfort her over the weekend, that would be great.”

  “I’ll see what I can find out.” Lauren agreed, hoping to learn something from the boys. “I’m not going to expect a whole lot from her at this stage.”

  “She’s seeing a shrink and he’s fairly insistent that she continue seeing him.” Douglas stated, shaking his head. “Her mother was going to cut ties with the guy, and I don’t trust him. If she wants to see him, that’s her choice, but don’t let this guy goad you into thinking that her seeing him was her mother’s wishes, because it wasn’t.”

  Douglas reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out the business card that Doctor Frederiksen had given him, and handed it to Lauren Alkali.

  “Okay, thank you.” Lauren responded, her attention shifting between the business card and the police officer. “If I have any problems, I’ll let you know, but she’s a pretty sweet kid, so I doubt she’ll be too much to handle.”

  “Thank you again.” Douglas Downe said, getting his clipboard back in order, before turning his attention to Tuesday. “Do you want to go get a burger on Saturday? And maybe we could do some other things too?”

  Tuesday looked at him, nodding her head. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  “Okay, I’ll come by around eleven or so.” Douglas promised Tuesday giving her another hug before he turned to leave. “Anywhere you want to go. Good night, sleep well, okay?”

  “I’ll try.” Tuesday replied.

  Officer Downe departed from the Alkali House as Tuesday watched him leave. Just over a month ago, she would have never guessed that there were so many people who cared for her. In fact, she had become so accustomed to looking after herself and mistreated by other people that she had written off humanity completely. She thought for a while that she didn’t have the capacity to love and care for other people, because she certainly wasn’t feeling that from anybody else, including her own mother.

  But all of that had changed and she had several people she could recently depend on. There was Jason, who had restored her faith in people. There was Doctor Frederiksen who was intelligent and kind, and even though he lied to the police, she was certain that it was just in her best interest. And of course, there was Douglas Downe, who was a true blessing in disguise, her knight in shining armor. Now the Alkali family was taking her in. And of course, the cherry on the top was her mother, and how she had finally gotten her life together and given her the relationship that she had always dreamed of.

  Well, until The Nightmare had stolen it from her. Every single time the thought crossed her mind, she began to feel her hatred festering inside of her like one of those giant pimples, red and sore, filling with pus, but not yet ready to explode. When she did explode, she was going to make sure The Nightmare would drown in her hate.

  Tuesday’s thoughts were interrupted by Lauren, who closed the front door and mentioned something about cookies and milk, which Tuesday nodded to the affirmative for. She realized that she hadn’t eaten since breakfast and that was many hours ago, so when Lauren mentioned food, she wasn’t about to turn it down. She took the cookies and the milk and gobbled it up rather quickly, much to Lauren’s amazement.

  “I apologize that we couldn’t keep you longer.” Lauren began, explaining the procedure to her. “You’re dating my son, so I can’t legally take you in a foster child, for health and safety reasons. I hope you understand. But you’ll always be a part of our family, and we will always try to help you in any way we can. I have two other foster kids here besides our sons. We are currently hosting two girls, Ashley and Susan, and James we adopted. Like you, he lost his parents.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” Tuesday responded, understanding how he must have felt. “How did they die?”

  “It was over the summer, actually.” Lauren confessed. “We met them while we were camping, and while the boys were out hiking, my husband and I decided to climb the rock face with James’ parents. Their rope was faulty and it snapped, and they fell on the rocks below. I felt so helpless, you know, watching them fall and not being able to do anything about it.”

  “Oh no!” Tuesday replied, feeling bad for James, and what he was going through. “I can’t imagine losing both parents.”

  “Yeah we did.” Lauren admitted, smiling as she looked off into the other room at James. “He’s a great kid. He and John are best buddies. They’re practically inseparable. When we couldn’t find any more of their family, we decided that James should stay with us.”

  Lauren gave Tuesday the tour of the house, and told her about the areas that she was allowed to go into and the spaces that off limits to her completely. Lauren then put down the ground rules with Jason that they couldn’t be alone with each other in their rooms, that if they wanted to spend time together, it had to be in the common areas. Lauren explained that it wasn’t personal, she just didn’t want to risk losing her foster care provider license, and that if the two of them wanted to go somewhere away from the house alone, that would be acceptable too.

  Lauren showed Tuesday the laundry area, and told her that she would be responsible for washing her own clothes, and that she would also be responsible for rinsing off her own dishes, and that there would be a rotational schedule regarding who loads and unloads the dishwasher. It wasn’t that Lauren wanted to impose tasks on Tuesday, or any of her foster children for that matter, she felt it was important to teach them how to take care of themselves. Tuesday had been looking after herself for a long time, so the idea of doing it was old hat to her, though she was too polite to brush Lauren off by acting like a know-it-all.

  When at last Lauren had finished her orientation, she let her go and visit with the other kids, but there was only one of them she wanted to talk to, and that was Jason. She had a lot to fill him in on, but first, she had to go and put her room in order.

  Tuesday wondered if her life would ever be normal. “Would it always be like this?” She thought to herself, unpacking her bags. When she reached into her backpack, she quickly remembered that she had placed the folder in there that outlined her mother’s past, and was apprehensive to read it. She pulled the thick folder out of her backpack and placed it on the nightstand next to her bed, tears beginning to form in her eyes again. As she was finishing, there was a knock on her door. She wiped her tears from her face as well as she could, stood up and walked across the room, opening the door.

  It was Jason, and he looked like he was ready to talk to her.