Dreaming God
Page 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I
AN OVERDUE EXPLANATION
As ready as Tuesday was to talk to Jason, her apprehension got the better of her seeing him in front of her door. Everything was jumbled up in her head, and she felt like she needed a day or two to get her thoughts together, and tried to explain it to him the best way she could without upsetting him.
“Hey, Baby!” Tuesday said, a look of relief on her face, stepping up to Jason and wrapping her arms around him.
“What’s going on, Tuesday?” Jason asked, seemingly never more concerned for her well-being than he was at that moment.
Tuesday paused and squeezed him a little tighter before exhaling sharply. “I want to tell you, but I need to get my thoughts in order first.” She admitted to him, hoping that he would understand her need for time. “Please, just hold me.”
“I understand, and I promise I won’t push you.” Jason agreed, moving his arms around her and holding her in the hall outside her room. “Whenever you’re ready.”
Tuesday and Jason went down to the sofa in the common area and watched some television for the evening to take their minds off the stress of the day. Jason brought in some snacks for the two of them to share, for which Tuesday was exceptionally grateful for. She gobbled them down, but didn’t say much to Jason for the duration of the evening. Tuesday’s nightfall was spent on that sofa, curled up in Jason’s arms, and breaking into inaudible little sobs whenever she saw something on the television that had reminded her of her mother. Tuesday had thought that she and her mother didn’t have that much history together until recently, but strangely, everything seemed to remind her of the times they had spent together, and each memento was a cold and cruel slap in her face, a recollection of what had been robbed from her. Each time she began to cry again, Jason held her a little tighter and rubbed her hand across her back in an effort to comfort her. When she had enough of the television, she told Jason that she was tired and needed to get some rest, which he agreed would be best for her.
Tuesday stood up from the couch, hugging Jason one last time for the night. “I promise, I won’t always be like this.” She softly whispered to him, squeezing him tightly. “And thank you for just being here for me tonight.”
“You’re welcome, Tuesday.” Jason said with a sad smile. “I’m here if you need anything, okay?”
“Thank you, sweetie.” Tuesday answered, feeling the warmth of his through his shirt, loosely running her fingers through his hair. “I’ll see you tomorrow, mmkay?”
“You bet!” Jason replied, getting that cocky tone in his voice that she loved so much. “It’s a date!”
The two of them shared a laugh, and then Jason walked Tuesday up to her room. They said goodnight to each other, and found it difficult to leave each other’s presence. Tuesday desired in the deepest places of her heart that she could spend the whole night with Jason so he could hold her and comfort her. Jason couldn’t stand to see Tuesday suffering, and wished that he could just stay with her to make her feel better. But rules were rules, and Tuesday didn’t want to be responsible for causing any more harm to anybody else, so she stepped into her room and closed the door.
Tuesday went over and sat down on her bed, covering herself up with her blanket and pulling Winston close. “You know old buddy, Jason isn’t going to replace you.” She confided in her best friend for life. “I’m afraid you’ll be stuck with me for the rest of our lives.”
She giggled a little, and remembered that her mother had gotten her that bear, which reminded her that the thick folder full of her mother’s paperwork was sitting next to her bed. She reached her hands over to the nightstand and hefted the tome over her bed and onto her lap. She paused before flipping open the cover of the folder, unsure of what she would discover inside. It took her a few minutes to work up the courage, thinking it would be like the Ark of the Covenant, and wondered if she should just shut her eyes and not look at it.
After some internal struggle, Tuesday realized that her mother must have dug the paperwork out of the chest and was looking it over so she could give her the rest of the answers she had been searching for. She opened the file and thumbed through it, much of it covering her mother’s injuries and treatment for them in a manner that used far too much medical jargon for Tuesday’s comprehension. As she got further in the file, she found a padded manila envelope, still sealed, which sent Tuesday’s curiosity into the stratosphere. She opened it, and there was information from a company called ConcepTech Pharmaceuticals regarding Megan’s use of the experimental drug she was taking for them. The envelope contained a file folder and a ledger of substances prescribed to somebody named Megan Ackerman, with the prescribing doctors name redacted in each entry. Flipping the front cover open, she began to read the first page, which discussed at length a list of test subjects for an experimental drug that, in theory, would make it possible for the subject to have offspring that would utilize a larger percentage of their brain than the average person would. The presiding doctor’s name was redacted on the form, to maintain some sort of secrecy. The page contained a short list of candidates, which Tuesday read the page and the list of names.
ConcepTech Pharmaceuticals
Phase II – Find a Viable Host for BN-243
February 5, 1980
After months of clinical trials, we have narrowed the list of viable candidate hosts for BN-243 down to these subjects. These females were chosen based upon their illegal chemical dependency paired with their high probability of fertility, making them the most likely candidates to carry our test child through to full term. Each of them will be assigned a male counterpart who has been prepped for the procedure, using BX-147 in the preliminary stages of Phase I.
These candidate’s physiology has been tested and will be the most effective of the hundreds of females we screened during the clinical trials. Having been tested with both the placebo and the tamest strain of BN-243, these candidates demonstrated the least resistance to the drug and their immune system did not fight off the presence of the drug in their body. Doctor Anthony Frederiksen was most pleased with these eleven subjects and wants to begin pairing the females up with their male counterparts within 60 days of the introduction of full strength of the BN-243 strain into their system, and then tapering off to a capsule form to sustain the levels of the drug in the female’s systems.
Sarah Janson
Dina Morales
Katrina Goode
Jennifer Harrison
Rosemary Sullivan
Donna Jenkins
Amanda Vaughn
Cynthia Glover
Megan Ackerman
Tina Roscoe
Laura Silverstein
The bottom of the first form was signed with an illegible scribble, and dated in the year 1980, which Tuesday realized would have been the year she would have been conceived. After reading the form completely, Tuesday skimmed back down the list, and realized that her mother’s name was not on the list. It didn’t make any sense to her. Then she had remembered her mother had told her that she had lied about her name at the hospital to keep the rapists from finding her. Looking back over the list again the name listed that she suspected was her mother had to be Megan Ackerman. Tuesday couldn’t believe what she was reading, that her mother had essentially been a guinea pig for some crooked pharmaceutical company to experiment on. She put the first form down and picked up the next form, and wasn’t sure that she liked it any better.
ConcepTech Pharmaceuticals
Phase III – Pairing of BX-147 and BN-243 Subjects
April 18, 1980
The 60-day trial of the injections of BN-243 has been successfully implemented in the female subjects and they will be moving forward with the less potent capsule form of the drug from here on out. The females believe that they are experimenting with a new form of birth control, which should keep them from taking precautions against pregnancy through other various forms of birth control for
the duration of our experiment. The male specimens are primed, and the alterations to the DNA have been made in accordance with the instructions of Anthony Frederiksen, who is the manager and doctor overseeing this project. Each of the male subjects will be paired with a female subject, which studies have shown which males are the most highly compatible with the females both physically and attractively.
Sarah Jason will be paired with Brian Summers
Dina Morales will be paired with Robert Long
Katrina Goode will be paired with Alex Jacobi
Jennifer Harrison will be paired with Shane Bennett
Rosemary Sullivan will be paired with Ronald Clifton
Donna Jenkins will be paired with Lee Hayes
Amanda Vaughn will be paired with Jeffrey Vanderhoof
Cynthia Glover will be paired with Jasper Franklin
Megan Ackerman will be paired with Daniel Price
Tina Roscoe will be paired with Andy Davis
Laura Silverstein will be paired with Don Timmons
The males are aware of their assignments and have studied the research materials provided to them regarding the interests and behavior of the females they have been assigned. The males have signed contracts and will be compensated for their time and effort, and will not be forced to stay with the female unless he so chooses to. Pairing will commence on April 21, for which Doctor Frederiksen will be monitoring the situations for each specimen couple very closely and making a determination on which will have the highest opportunity for success. Phase IV will commence upon proof of conception of a child specimen, where the female host will be given a referral to our own prenatal services to monitor the growth of the fetus.
Tuesday found herself in complete and utter disbelief of what she was reading. Had her mother unknowingly been a part of some insidious plot to engineer her birth? Tuesday found herself going back over the second document again to figure out who Megan Ackerman had been paired with. It was somebody named Daniel Price. “Could Daniel Price be my father?” Tuesday wondered to herself as she felt her eyes closing, luring her closer to sleep. She decided that it was time to put the reading down for the night and get some sleep because she had a hamburger date around lunch time the next morning. She put the folder back together and put it in a drawer in the nightstand, definitely intrigued by what she read, but too tired to read any more. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep.
Tuesday didn’t sleep well that night, haunted by visions of a train passing through her immaterial form and smashing the car, the crash and the sound of twisting metal still fresh on her mind. She slept an hour at a time, waking to the sound of the laughter of The Nightmare, which infuriated her each time she thought she could hear it. She had wondered if she would ever get a peaceful night’s sleep again.
Tuesday spent most of Thursday and Friday in her room, wanting nothing more than to sleep the day away, and found that it was difficult. She spent part of her day reading the medical examinations which detailed in depth the extent of her mother’s injuries sustained at the hands of her attackers. It was gruesome to read through it, and it was quite a round of discovery to learn what it had taken to get make her mother functional again. She even found the page from when they had told Megan that she was pregnant. Tuesday felt the moment overtake her, surreal and sobering. She desperately tried to live in that moment in her mind to try and feel what her mother must have felt when she was told that she was pregnant by the nurse who was taking such exceptional care of her. The revelation caused Tuesday to have to fight back her tears again, realizing that she was the child that her mother had never fully prepared for. One of the notes on the page stated that Megan wanted to name her daughter “Tuesday”, first because it was the day that one miracle had happened and her life was spared, and secondly because her child was yet another miracle. Tuesday felt sheepish, having been so wrong in her assumption that her mother hadn’t put any thought into her name, and whimpered silently to herself, realizing that her name had a great and wonderful meaning after all.
Also for the first time, Tuesday could understand why Megan wanted no memory of these events, and felt connected to her mother in a way that she never had. It was no wonder that she wanted to numb herself and forget this, and Tuesday was not surprised by the persona that her mother had created, big and terrifying. It was all an elaborate shell that she had created to protect herself from the evil of the world. Megan Moxley felt that it was better to become darker than the world around her, that way she could not be hurt by it again. Though she cherished the time she and her mother had recently spent together, part of Tuesday had felt guilty that she had taken that away her defenses from her mother. If she hadn’t, it was likely that her mother would still be alive.
Before Tuesday knew it, it was dark and she found that she was tired from all the reading and thinking she had done throughout the day. Her eyelids became heavy and she found it difficult to focus on the pages, so she placed the file on the nightstand, and reached for Winston, covering herself up and passing out for the night.
Saturday morning came much sooner than Tuesday had anticipated when Jason came knocking at her door, offering her breakfast. She got up and went downstairs and ate with the rest of the family, but her mind wasn’t truly there. She was thinking of her mother and what files from the pharmaceutical company had said. She wanted to get back to reading them, but it would have to wait until later that night.
After she cleaned her breakfast plate and put it in the dishwasher, Tuesday went back upstairs and got herself a shower, cleaning all the salty residue from her face and arms leftover from the crying she had done. But in spite of herself, her thoughts turned to that tragic moment on the rail crossing, and she released another helping of liquid sadness, curled into a ball in the tub, the hot shower water washing over her as she gently wept.
After her shower, Tuesday went into her room and got dressed, picking out an ensemble that would be warm enough in the lingering snow and cold weather outside. She went downstairs and watched television until Douglas Downe had arrived, promptly at eleven for their day out together.
Tuesday left with Douglas Downe and they went to the mall where he bought her some new jeans and a warmer coat than the hoody she was wearing. She picked out a thick black coat with a fur lining around the hood and was fitted with many pockets to store the various things she carried with her from time to time. And it fit her perfectly. Tuesday showed her gratitude to Douglas by thanking him and giving him a quick hug.
The two of them drove across the bridge and across the State line to Oregon where he took her out to a secluded location in the woods and taught her how to handle a handgun should the need to use one ever arise. They fired off some target shots together for a little while, and then drove back across the river to The Devil’s City where Douglas made good on his promise to buy her a hamburger. Tuesday ordered a meal which included a large bacon double cheeseburger, French fries and a strawberry banana milkshake with a cherry on the top of it.
Only for a moment, Tuesday had managed to take her mind off the fact that her mother was gone and lived in the present, allowing herself to come out without pain our guilt. Douglas saw it, and knew that he had accomplished something wonderful.
Tuesday arrived back at the Alkali House sometime after eight o’clock, and went right to her room. She thought about reading more of the pharma file, but wasn’t in the mood to spoil the day she had. She wanted the time alone to reflect on things, and to think about her day with Douglas. She spent many hours thinking about everything, about the way that her mother had died, about the nightmares she had, about the first time she remembered having a nightmare that physically happened. She thought about the Jackson girls, and how they had treated her so badly over the years, and she thought about Principal McCauley, who even though she had hated him, was beginning to see how wrong she was for ending his life and reign of terror in such a brutal fashion. She began to place the pieces of the
puzzle together, and saw a long string of events, building one on top of another, on top of another to reach this crescendo that was leading to some inexplicable destination, unknown to Tuesday.
In her mind, Tuesday knew that she had the power to look and see where it was this was all leading, but did not want to attract the attention of that hideous creature who made her do things she didn’t truly want to do. Even now, she could still hear it in her head, laughing. Incessant laughter, and it never stopped. It was taunting her, reminding her that it took control of her actions and stole the most important thing in her life away from her. Every time she thought about it, she could feel her hate growing, even stronger and more than the she had harbored toward Principal McCauley. She would use that hate to drive it away, but for the moment, she was in mourning, and wanted to avoid that particular confrontation until she had a clear understanding of what she was dealing with.
After a few hours, Tuesday fell fast asleep. She slept hard that night, her mind and body too tired to continue without a good night’s sleep. She did find herself dreaming again though, regardless of whether she wanted to or not, and it wasn’t long before she took flight. She whipped through the streets of Cadence Falls, wrapping herself in the peace of mind that flying offered her. She began to think about how she might have condemned her soul by killing her mother and for some reason, her thoughts turned to David Peatross.
Instead of going and looking in on David, she wanted to see where it was his life was heading, being that he wasn’t so very different from her. Both had been bullied, neglected and cast aside. She needed to know where his life was going, and if her life would be going in the same direction.
The scenery around her changed, and suddenly she was witnessing a montage of terrible acts of violence, warfare and disease. David Peatross was an adult, wearing a long beard and carrying what looked like an assault rifle. He was commanding legions of men in what appeared to be the Middle-East, who were reveling and cheering the defeat of The United States. A moment later, she saw David give a command, from a confined space, and nuclear weapons fired from their silos, destroying the entirety of the planet. Refusing to witness anything further, Tuesday turned her focus back to the present and the vision of war melted and gave way to a clear starry night with a black sky.
Tuesday couldn’t believe that David would destroy the world like that, and couldn’t imagine what he had been through to push him to that dark place. In that moment, Tuesday pledged to herself that there would be no more killing from her, and that She would defeat that creature and use her power to only help people. It had swayed her point of view to the point of recklessness and extreme carelessness. She flew back to the Alkali House and knew that she would have much to talk with Jason about. She was ready. She had to be ready.
II
A THEORY FROM A FIRST LOVE
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 1995
When she awoke the next morning, she bounced out of bed, feeling sad, but refreshed. After getting a shower and getting dressed, she found Jason sitting on the sofa watching professional wrestling. Tuesday adored professional wrestling, so she joined him on the couch, watching large men pummel one another until the show was over.
“Hey Jason?” Tuesday said, trying to get his full attention. “I’m ready to talk.”
Jason was still riding the wave of wrestling excitement and it took him a moment to realize what Tuesday had said. When it dawned on him, his demeanor changed from messing around to attentive and serious. Tuesday loved this about him, he could be what she needed him to be at the drop of a hat. It was one of his more endearing traits.
“Yeah, I mean. Yeah!” Jason spouted out excitedly. “Let’s go into the breakfast nook where we won’t be disturbed.”
Tuesday and Jason walked to the other end of the house to the secluded room off the other end of the kitchen. Jason was fairly certain that the breakfast nook was one of those gray areas as far as the rules were concerned, being that there was no enclosed door or bed inside, he thought it would be a safe place to talk. When they arrived in the breakfast nook, Jason pulled out a chair for Tuesday, and then pushed it in as she sat down. He walked around the other side of the table and sat down directly across from her.
“So, what’s going on, Tuesday?” Jason asked Tuesday, feeling fully concerned for her. “Whatever happened, you know you can trust me.”
“You know, all my life, I just wanted a relationship with my Mom.” Tuesday began, the tears instantly welling up in her eyes. “And now she’s gone.”
“What happened, sweetie?” Jason asked, reaching his hands across the table to hold hers. “What’s wrong? Help me understand.”
“I killed my mother.” Tuesday said, breaking down into a full-fledged meltdown having heard the actual words escape her lips. “I killed her and I didn’t even want to. But I couldn’t stop myself!”
Jason lost the plot as soon as Tuesday began to explain it. “I don’t mean to be skeptical, but how could you have killed her? She was hit by a train, wasn’t she?”
Tuesday became frantic and escalated into a full-blown panic. Jason stood up and walked around the table, placing his arm around her and helping her to sort it all out. She slides off the chair and into the corner of the room, covering her face with her hands, Jason still trying his best to comfort her. He pulled one of the decorative dish cloths from the wall and used it to sop up her tears, which seemed to be in endless supply. After about twenty minutes, Tuesday is able to regain her composure somewhat and continue relaying her tale to Jason.
“Jason, do you remember the day I met you? Tuesday asked, peering into his big, blue eyes.
“It wasn’t that long ago, so yeah, I remember.” Jason replied, trying to interject a dose of humor to the situation.
“Do you remember there was something that I didn’t want to talk about?” Tuesday said, revisiting the day she had met him at the bus stop and the subsequent ride to school that had followed.
“Yeah, I remember.” Jason said.
“I’m ready to tell you my secrets.” Tuesday remarked, still staring at Jason as a cool, calm washed over her. “If you’re ready to listen to them.”
Jason felt the pressure mounting and the seriousness of the situation building to a point of no return. He suspected that Tuesday was about to tell him something that she hadn’t even told anybody, not even her mother. He made a point to get honest about the discussion they were having, because he knew that he would only get one shot at this to make it happen, and screwing things up with Tuesday was the last thing in the world he wanted to happen.
“Yeah, you know I want to hear about you.” Jason confessed, giving Tuesday his full and undivided attention. “I care about you!”
Tuesday’s lip quivered a little bit as she began to tell Jason a story about the first time she remembered her nightmares. “I once had a friend, her name was Kara.” She began, trying to recall every detail of the incident. “It was Kara’s birthday, she was turning six so her parents had a slumber party for her at her house with her friends. Kara was my best friend, so of course, I was invited to the party. Serina and Jessica were also invited to the party, we all used to be friends once.”
“It’s hard to imagine you guys were all friends at one time.” Jason commented, trying to think what that might have looked like. “Sorry, please continue.”
“We were all at the slumber party.” Tuesday said, grasping for memories of what that night had brought so she could tell her tale with sincerity and truth. “That was the first night that I had one of my nightmares. I had a horrible dream that the house was going to explode, something to do with the gas hookup in the house and the pilot light. The nightmare was so vivid and real, I could feel the flames and the force of the explosion tearing through everybody, ripping them apart and burning them. I woke up screaming, and wouldn’t go back to sleep so her parents called my mom, who was too busy to come to my rescue in a timely manner.
When she finally did arrive, she was furious with me. At the time, I didn’t understand why. My mother yanked my arm and pulled me across the yard, practically throwing me into the car. As we sat out on the street, I explained what was going to happen, and she didn’t believe me. As we started to pull away, the house exploded and burned to the ground. Kara and her father were both killed, her mother was badly burned. Serina and Jessica had also been picked up by their mother, so they escaped the blast, but saw it just like we did.”
“Wow! That’s terrible, Tuesday!” Jason said, trying to console her the best he could. “You didn’t kill those people, it was an accident.”
“I know I didn’t kill them.” Tuesday countered, trying to explain what had happened. “I was only six years old, and I still feel guilty about it to this day.”
Jason sat in front of Tuesday, rubbing her shoulder as she continued to speak. “What I am going to tell you next, I need you to believe and just take on faith that this is the truth.”
Jason nodded his head in approval. “You know that I believe you, and that I trust you.”
“I have a special gift, as Doctor Frederiksen calls it.” Tuesday announced. “I am able to dream the future.”
“You pretty much just confirmed that with the slumber party story.” Jason acknowledged, trying to stay serious and focused on what Tuesday was saying.
“Think, Jason!” Tuesday snapped, feeling as if he wasn’t giving her his full attention. “Remember the day we met each other? Can you remember the accident with the car? I dreamed that too. That’s how I knew that accident would be at that exact place at that exact time. That’s why the Jackson girls call me a murderer and a number of other foul things.”
“But you didn’t kill Kara.” Jason replied, trying to talk some sense into Tuesday. “You only dreamed about her, same with the car wreck.”
Tuesday shook her head in agreement with Jason. “Okay, so you understand that!” She explained, trying to figure out the best way to make her point. “I only foreseen those events, and many more events like that. I’ve been seeing Doctor Frederiksen, he’s this child psychologist who specializes in dream therapy through hypnosis. He taught me how to control my dreams, which would change their outcomes.”
Jason seemed confused about the whole process, but asked anyway. “What’s wrong with that?”
“The outcomes I’ve been changing become the future.” Tuesday clarified, trying to clue him in on what had happened. “I can choose what I dream about. I can do anything when I am dreaming and it always happens, no matter what!”
“You can tap into the future and change it?” Jason queried excitedly. “You’re like some kind of cool superhero!”
“I’m no superhero.” Tuesday stated, completely unimpressed with Jason’s reasoning skills. “I don’t want this power, and I’ve never wanted it!”
“Do you know that people would kill for the ability to do what you can do?” Jason asked, still in awe over Tuesday’s revelation.
“I think that somebody is killing for it.” Tuesday admitted, trying to talk the concept through to a conclusion. “I have a few theories, but I’m not smart enough to put all the pieces together. I’m not clever enough to defeat this monster. Somewhere along the way, I lost control of what I am doing. There is this terrible creature that has a power over me, who makes me kill people. It made me kill Jessica. It made me kill Principal McCauley, and it made me kill my own mother!”
Jason stepped back from Tuesday a couple of feet as the full realization of what she had just told him had begun to sink in. A small part of him was legitimately frightened. What could she do to him if he did something that displeased her? What could she do to anybody who stood in her way? Tuesday could sense his fear of her, and reached out for him, grabbing his arm and pulling him close, giving him a look of reassurance.
“You don’t have to worry about me!” Tuesday confided in Jason. “I will never hurt you. Please, just take that on faith and trust me.”
“I trust you, Tuesday!” Jason said proudly, regaining his composure. “The thought just scared me a little bit, you know?”
Jason wrapped his arms around her again, holding her close, the two of them thinking about the conversation they had just had when an idea suddenly occurred to Jason.
“You know, if you have this power, and you can dream of the future and change it, why couldn’t you dream of the past and change it too?” Jason suggested, throwing the idea out there even if it was too far-fetched to pursue.
“I don’t know.” Tuesday admitted, dumbfounded that this was just now being brought to her attention. “I guess I’ve never thought about it before. I’m going to have to try this at my next session.”
“Well, maybe you should.” Jason confessed, showing that maturity of his that was beyond his years. “As much as I enjoy having you here, I would prefer your mother were still alive and you were happy with both of us.”
Suddenly, Jason got a wicked grin on his face as he began to think about the ramifications of his idea. “You know, by changing the past, you could actually cheat the Devil, if you wanted to.”
“You’re such a goofball!” Tuesday said, teasing Jason.
“Well, one of us has to think like a superhero!” Jason countered, standing up and placing his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest.
The two of them shared a good laugh, and spent the rest of the day in each other’s company watching football, the Seattle Seahawks versus the New York Giants, with Seattle winning the game 30-28, which seemed to lift everybody’s spirits. Though Jason was not as happy because he was still a fan of the Arizona Cardinals, who had lost their game to the Denver Broncos at a crushing defeat of 38-6. Despite Tuesday’s random bouts of sadness over her mother, everybody seemed to have a good time. After the game was over, Tuesday decided that she needed to go for a walk, so she headed out for several hours alone, collecting her thoughts. When she returned to the Alkali House, she ate her dinner and then retreated to her room, her thoughts on the remainder of the file that her mother had left out, and she had found. She knew there would be answers to her problems in there somewhere.
III
TEARS IN THE DARK
Tuesday closed the door to her bedroom and made herself comfortable on the bed. She dug the folder containing the information about her mother out of the drawer, and began to look it over. Before going back to the pharmaceutical information, she wanted to understand the extent of her mother’s injuries and examined her medical chart. Even though her understanding of it was limited, it didn’t take a genius to comprehend how severe her mother’s injuries truly had been. It had taken many months for Megan to recover, a ton of physical therapy and more pain management than she could imagine to get her back to the world of the living. After reading the chart, Tuesday was amazed that her mother hadn’t died a long time ago.
But soon her curiosity turned back toward the case file from the pharmaceutical company. Tuesday put on her game face and examined the file, re-reading the first two documents in case she had missed anything. She hated that the names of the staff and doctors were redacted, and desperately wished to know whose name resided behind those black boxes. All she could do was read on, reliving a horror that her mother hadn’t even known about.
ConcepTech Pharmaceuticals
Case File #347843-45
Ackerman, Megan / Price, Daniel
May 25, 1980
The specimens, Ackerman and Price are cohabitating much better than any of the other control groups are. These two seem to have established a bond with each other beyond the physical that most of the others haven’t been able to achieve. While this is good for the pairing, Anthony feels that the emotional bond might somehow undo everything he has been working so hard to achieve. We should keep closer surveillance on them to make sure it all goes to plan, as they seem to have the best odds at success.
ST
“I wonder who S
T is?” She thought to herself, thinking that it might be a clue to the answer of the redacted name. Tuesday flipped the page and read the next one.
ConcepTech Pharmaceuticals
Case File #347879-45
Ackerman, Megan / Price, Daniel
June 14, 1980
Still no conception in this pairing, as the female seems doesn’t seem to allow her male counterpart to inseminate her, and sabotages every effort that he makes to do so. Doctor Frederiksen is insistent that he wants results from this pairing, and hopes that the result can be achievable in the next thirty days. The female is having trouble sleeping, so Dr. Frederiksen prescribed her Temazepam to help her sleep better.
ST
“Ewww, gross!” Tuesday thought to herself, trying not to imagine what the purpose of having a baby with a bigger brain might be. She reached out for the next update in the pile.
ConcepTech Pharmaceuticals
Case File #347993-45
Ackerman, Megan / Price, Daniel
July 10, 1980
Still no conception in this pairing. The male seems as if he has become attached to his female counterpart and is having second thoughts about the process as he is now taking part in the sabotage of the process. The male spends a lot of time with the female, and seems to have developed a strong emotional attachment to her. The male is conflicted about his role in this project, a side effect that we did not expect. Anthony Frederiksen thinks that we should terminate this pairing as they’ve become emotionally contaminated. I don’t think that we should euthanize them, but Anthony is in charge and if that’s the route he wants to go, then we must put some pressure on the male to perform his duty. We can’t have these specimens out in the world with what they are carrying in their systems.
ST
These memos were beginning to make Tuesday feel ill. How could they have so little regard for human life? Though she was sickened by what she was reading, Tuesday felt compelled to read on, so she went on to the next page.
ConcepTech Pharmaceuticals
Case File #348641-45
Ackerman, Megan / Price, Daniel
July 31, 1980
We may have achieved conception in this pairing as the female has become more receptive to the idea of bearing offspring with the male. There is no certainty until the female gets herself tested, but after Doctor Frederiksen threatened the male known as Price, he has been inseminating the female, convincing her that he wants a family with her. She has accepted his emotional outpouring and has allowed him to do what must be done. When the male is alone, he questions everything he’s done to the female and thinks he can no longer continue the charade. If the male explains to the female what is happening, termination will be imminent.
ST
“What kind of sick people was my Mom involved with?” Tuesday wondered to herself, finding it difficult to imagine that people could be toyed with in this manner. While Megan had confirmed that she hadn’t read the files, it wasn’t hard to understand why she harbored such a healthy distrust of people. Tuesday flipped to the next file in the folder.
ConcepTech Pharmaceuticals
Case File #348684-45
Ackerman, Megan / Price, Daniel
August 1, 1980
The male known as Price has been acting erratically all day, and Anthony is concerned that he might destroy years of research. Dr. Frederiksen called a meeting with specimen Price today, to discover what the issue might be. The male, Price says that he has developed strong emotions toward the female, Ackerman, and does not wish to continue to lie to her. He feels that impregnating her with a child that will be taken from them, never to be seen again would be something that neither of them would recover from. The male has voiced his concerns and wishes to live a legitimate life with the female, and to raise a proper family with them. Anthony Frederiksen told the male that if he was going to be non-compliant, that he and the female would both be terminated and new test subjects would be found. The male, did not appreciate being threatened and stormed out of the office, returning to the residence where he and Ackerman reside together.
ST
Tuesday began to get a better sense of what happened between her mother and that old boyfriend of hers. She turned to the next page to confirm her suspicions.
ConcepTech Pharmaceuticals
Case File #348725-45
Ackerman, Megan / Price, Daniel
August 2, 1980
What a day this has been. If Doctor Frederiksen finds out what happened, he will be furious. The male specimen couldn’t take it anymore, and broke things off with the female, making an excuse about her drug abuse. The male known as Price became agitated and abandoned the female known as Ackerman, and we had to terminate him because he was threatening to go to the police. I did not agree with this decision. Specimen Ackerman consumed every pill and drink in her house, clearly distraught, and is now wandering the streets. We have lost track of her current whereabouts, but are hoping to reacquire her again soon. All the test subjects will now have to be terminated as we cannot risk them living in public and procreating with other people. We do not know the appropriate level of risk involved with their integration into the world would cause, and the control environment we have created is in danger of being exposed. For the safety and security of not only our company, but the people of this community, termination is the only way we insure that an unlikely, uncontrolled outcome is completely avoided.
Initiate Omega Protocol 156.
ST
That was the last entry in the file. It was in that moment that Tuesday had given up all hope when she found another piece of paper stuck to the back of the last page. It was a yellow copy of a hand-written prescription made out to Megan Ackerman for a low-level dosage of Temazepam, which was consistent with the notes in the story. But Tuesday had not been prepared for what she read on the back handwritten prescription. The individual’s name was not redacted.
The prescribing doctor was Anthony Frederiksen.
“No! It can’t be?” Tuesday thought to herself, her mind spinning with thoughts that enraged her to the point where she could no longer contain herself emotionally. She wept silently in her bed under the moonlight streaming into her window, wishing that name on that prescription had been anybody but him. She wanted to turn him into the police for what he had done, but who would believe her? Nobody even knew who Megan Ackerman was, except possibly Marie.
Had Doctor Frederiksen engineered her entire existence? Had he tracked them down after all these years and followed them to Cadence Falls? How long had he known? He said he had his eye on Tuesday for quite a while. And who was “ST”? Tuesday thought long and hard about it, and finally the answer jumped into her head. It had to be Samuel Thornton. She had wondered what he meant the last time she saw him, “I’m sorry, Tuesday. I should have spoken up sooner. I’ve always tried to do everything I can for you, but I was just too late.”. At the time that didn’t make a lot of sense, but he must have been the person who leaked the file to the nurse from the pharmaceutical company. It had to be him who leaked it. And Samuel Thornton had stuck the yellow copy of the prescription in the folder so the redacted name could be linked to the notes. This was the smoking gun! Had Samuel Thornton really been watching out for her and her mother for all these years? Surely Doctor Frederiksen had no suspicion that this file had even existed or leaked, because it appeared that he had no compunction about killing people who had gotten in his way, such as Daniel Price. If Doctor Frederiksen had known of Sam’s betrayal, Tuesday realized that the doctor would have most certainly had him killed.
The thoughts kept racing through Tuesday’s mind, and though it had seemed that Megan Ackerman had never physically met Anthony Frederiksen, it was now so obvious that he must have known who she was the moment she walked into that office. He had wanted to terminate her many years ago, it must have been pleasing to him that fate would have played this hand for him, and he would get a
nother chance. While he had appeared sympathetic to Tuesday following her mother’s death, he must have inwardly been cheering The Nightmare for accomplishing what he had failed to do so many years ago. Doctor Frederiksen had wanted Megan Ackerman out of the picture so he could take control of her child and study the child how he saw fit to.
Tuesday realized that she was that child, and that Doctor Frederiksen was getting everything he ever wanted. But now Douglas Downe wanted to adopt her, and didn’t want her having any association with the therapist, whom he clearly didn’t trust. Would The Nightmare force her to kill Douglas Downe as well? Thinking back on the day her mother had died, there had to be a link between her choosing that exact day to end her therapy, and her subsequent death, it was too strange to just be a coincidence.
Tuesday realized that she was probably overthinking the scenario, as she tended to do. There was no way that The Nightmare and Doctor Frederiksen could be linked. The Nightmare had wanted her to kill him after all, and when she had disobeyed, he forced her to kill another target that was more personal to her. She found herself growing mentally fatigued from the process of putting it all together, and decided that she needed to call it a night.
Tuesday put the papers back into the folder and placed it back into the drawer, wishing that she hadn’t learned the things that she had discovered. Tuesday had wondered that if Daniel Price had to be terminated for his attack of conscience, were the men at the party who raped her mother also sent by Doctor Frederiksen to terminate her as well? The thought, which before was impossible, now lay square within the realm of possibility, and Tuesday wondered what else the he would be capable of.
Tuesday felt her rage growing inside of her as the tears began to fall freely from her face, so many that she could not easily contain them. It was time to make another appointment with Doctor Frederiksen, and this time she would be asking the questions.
IV
A TOKEN FOR THE FUTURE
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 1995
Monday morning in the Alkali House was always a busy time. After the passing of the weekend, and everybody had gotten the chance to relax, it was always difficult to get back into the swing of things. The whole house felt as if it had become a living, breathing, pulsating machine, working on getting motivated for the week ahead. The kids in the house were especially excited because this would be their final week of school before their Christmas break, where they would get a few weeks off. While everybody else was getting ready for school, Tuesday wanted to get a last-minute appointment with Doctor Frederiksen, there were answers she needed from him, and they would be answers that he wasn’t going to give her willingly, most likely. Tuesday stood at the door, with her jacket on and her backpack, containing some snack foods and her trusty pal, Winston.
Jason casually strolled up to the door, getting his jacket on to leave when Tuesday placed her hand on his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.
“Hey.” Tuesday said, gazing into Jason’s big, blue eyes, wishing that she could live in this moment with him forever and ever. “I wanted to thank you for helping me out yesterday. That conversation meant a lot to me.”
“No problem.” Jason shrugged off the remark. “That’s what friends are for, right?”
“Friends?” Tuesday replied, smacking him playfully in the arm, smiling slyly. “I thought you were my boyfriend?”
Jason blushed a little, seeing his game turned back on him. “Yeah, of course I am!”
“Before you go, I wanted to give you something.” Tuesday boldly stated, reaching up and pulling the chain holding the ring out from under her hoody. “I want you to have this ring.” Tuesday pulled the chain up over her head and when the ring dangled freely from the chain, she slowly extended her arm, offering it to him.
“What’s this for?” Jason asked quizzically, failing to understand why she would give him the ring.
“I heard that a good person once owned this ring.” Tuesday admitted, sad about parting with an heirloom her mother had given her, but confident in her decision to give it to Jason. “I want it to belong to another good person.”
Jason reached out and graciously accepted the gift that his girlfriend had bestowed upon him, and spent a second or two inspecting it before he put it around his neck and under his shirt. Tuesday reached out and grabbed both of his hands with a look of confidence and fierce determination in her eyes, but Jason could tell that there was more to her countenance than met the eye.
“Tuesday, what is it?” Jason got up the nerve to ask her. “Is something wrong?”
Tuesday shook her head, thinking about all the time she had spent with Jason and how much it had truly meant to her. She knew that she could never have had the strength to do what she needed to do without Jason being such a solid beacon of hope and truth in her life. “No, nothing’s wrong.” She said, attempting to brush aside the obvious elephant in the room. “I’m just trying to thank the only boy I’ve ever loved.”
“Loved?” Jason thought to himself, which sounded so past-tense to him. He suddenly realized that she was planning something, and likely, would not be returning from it. Jason caught the school bus pulling up outside, and tried to wrap up the conversation as best as he could. “It just sounds so, I don’t know, final.” He confessed to her, a look of worry upon his face. “Like this is the last time we will see each other.’
Tuesday squeezed his hands reassuringly, “We will be together again.” She promised him, looking him directly in the eyes. “If not in this life, then in another. Every time you look at that ring, I want you to remember that.”
Without hesitation, she leaned forward and up on her toes just a little bit and kissed him, connecting gently with him. In that moment, she realized that she truly had fallen in love with him, and that she wasn’t afraid of being hurt by him in any way, shape or form. Her fear was that her power would destroy something as precious and as pure as Jason, and she couldn’t allow that to happen. Killing her mother had almost broken her, she couldn’t bear the thought of having to kill Jason too, so she had to take a stand, one that would protect him at all costs, even if it meant she had to die to do it. These thoughts crossed her mind while she felt his lips pressed against hers, and his hand softly upon her face. It was a moment that she wished would never end, locked in that kiss, her first and possibly her last.
The bus driver honked the horn, indicating that Jason needed to hurry, so he reluctantly pulled back from her, with a bittersweet smile on his face. “Hey.” He said quietly, looking deep into her brown eyes. “I love you. Go do what you have to do, and don’t be afraid, okay?”
“If I do not return, there is a file of paperwork in the drawer and it needs to be given to that police officer, Douglas Downe. Give it only to him.” Tuesday requested of him, letting go of his hands so he could leave for school. “I love you too, and thanks for everything.”
Jason tromped across the slushy yard toward the bus, looking back at her, a joyful yet gloomy look on his face, as he boarded the conveyance to school. Tuesday watched the bus disappear down the street, wishing that she lived a normal life and that she could sit on that bus with him every day for the rest of their academic lives together. She knew that the fight ahead would be hers, and hers alone. Well, hers and Winston’s fight, anyway. She looked down and saw that ratty old bear’s head poking out of her backpack, and gave him a melancholy look. “Well Winston, it’s just you and me now.”
Tuesday picked up the backpack and trudged out into the weather, deciding on a long walk around town to clear her thoughts and her mind before her confrontation with Doctor Frederiksen. During her walk, she found that she had come to love Cadence Falls more than she thought she had, and was thankful for the blessings that the last couple of months had brought her. Choosing to focus on the positive instead of the negatives, she walked on, admiring the beauty in everything around her.
Tuesday knew that she didn’t really have a plan on how she
was going to approach this confrontation, but knew that Doctor Frederiksen had to answer for his crimes, and whatever form of punishment that took, she was willing to offer it to him. She needed answers for the crimes he had committed against her mother fifteen years earlier, and would use any methods in her power to get them.
As Tuesday walked along, she found herself at the top of the hill where she had witnessed the accident with Jake’s car and thought about how far she had come in such a short period, yet it seemed so long ago. Taking the time to stop at the coffee stand, Tuesday ordered herself a mocha latte, which Cassie, the barista, made for her.
“I’m sorry to hear about your Mom.” Cassie said, addressing Tuesday with care and concern in her voice, handing the hot beverage to Tuesday. “It’s on the house, okay?”
“Thank you.” Tuesday said, nodding.
“You take care of yourself, okay?” Cassie called out as Tuesday walked off.
“I will.” Tuesday replied, choosing to walk directly down the hill toward the scene of that horrific accident, taking a sip off her latte.
When she reached the spot where Jake’s car hit the tree, she stared intently at it for a long, hard moment, wishing that things had not ended the way they did. Jennifer Cox seemed like a good mother to her child, and Jake Miller was going to spend his entire life with Brooke. Instead of blaming herself, Tuesday wondered why these sorts of accidents surrounded her. Was this something that happened everywhere and she would be powerless to change it? Or did The Nightmare really have a quota that he was destined to fill, and had been connected to her all along? Was The Nightmare giving her a demonstration of what fate truly had in store for people? Or was she truly having premonitions that showed her the future? It was bad enough when she was seeing the future, but once she began to change things, The Nightmare clearly had objections to that. Was everything supposed to happen the way it was supposed to happen? Why did she feel the pain of the victims, and why could she never physically appear in any of these premonitions other than a shadowy black and white figure that nobody else could see? What if the hand of God was truly in these people’s lives, and it was just their chosen time to depart the world? If she was the product of a perfect storm of chemical mixture, how could she change that? What if Jason Alkali had been sent to her to set her on the right path? What was it that he said? “You know, if you have this power, and you can dream of the future and change it, why couldn’t you dream of the past and change it too?”
When Tuesday told Jason that she hadn’t really thought about it, she meant it. Even after he had suggested it, she still simply dismissed the thought, thinking it was just words. But she was not only controlling her dreams, she was changing the outcome of them in the physical world as well. Tuesday had seen enough time travel movies to know that if you mess with the past, you would inexorably change the present, and sometimes not for the better. The last thing she needed was a Biff Tannen to rule the world.
But what if, instead of changing the course of her life, she changed the course of somebody else’s life? It had to be somebody who would never cause a significant change in the world, somebody whose life she could save before it was destroyed. If she could change that day, would Jake and Brooke continue to be infinitely happy? Would Jennifer be raising the child who would invent the microchip that would change the future? She had already considered the future of David Peatross, and found terror there, and that was over nothing she had ever caused to happen. But she knew at this very moment, if she were to sleep and focus on Jake Miller or Jennifer Cox, there would be no futures to see for them. The only way to change that would be to dream of the past and alter their course to keep them from ever being at that exact location, at that exact time. All she would need to do was delay them for thirty seconds at the most, and Jennifer would have never run into her friend, or Jake would have had to wait longer in the coffee drive-thru behind another car, changing the relative locations of everything around him, and causing him to take the time to get his things together better before pulling out of that coffee shop.
There was no time to experiment with it, to perfect her idea. She allowed herself a minute of reflection on the lives lost at that spot, and then began walking down the street again to The Millwork Tavern. Gathering all the courage she could, Tuesday mentally prepared herself with her discussion with Doctor Frederiksen.