Captain Awesome for President

by Stan Kirby

  Usually Friday was the best day of the week that didn’t start with the letter S. But not this week. The candidates were set to make their final speeches . . .

  IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SECOND GRADE!

  Eugene, Meredith, Collin, and Dara sat backstage in the school auditorium with the rest of the candidates from other grades, waiting for their turn to speak. This time, it felt like the butterflies in Eugene’s stomach had invited all their cousins to join them.

  The principal called Meredith’s name. It was speech time.

  Meredith stepped up to the podium. Then she put on a smile so wide that Eugene thought she might break her face.

  “I’m sure all of you already know who I am,” Meredith began. “If you’ve been living under a rock, then my name’s Meredith Mooney. When you elect me to be your queen—I mean, president”—Meredith tried not to chuckle—“I promise to give every single one of you everything you want forever and ever. The end.”

  The auditorium erupted in loud applause as Meredith led the students in a cheer of  “Don’t be loony! Vote for Meredith Mooney!”

  “It’s catchy because it rhymes,” Charlie said from the audience.

  But the teachers didn’t find it so funny.

  Meredith turned to walk away, but then she paused when she saw Ms. Beasley frowning at her. She turned back to the audience quickly. “And I’ll also, oh, I don’t know, have a bake sale or something to raise money for the school and we can have a pizza party or whatever.”

  Meredith blew a single kiss and skipped off the stage. The cheers were so loud, they shook dust from the lights overhead.

  Collin went next. Eugene wasn’t exactly sure what he even said because the cheers for Meredith were still so loud.

  Next came Dara Sim. The kids in the audience were tired of shouting Meredith’s name and sat in bored silence once more.

  “I promise to work with the teachers to make class better for everyone,” Dara said. “I have a plan that lets kids earn a Homework Skip Pass by keeping their grades up. I also have an idea that would let us raise extra money to buy tablets for the classrooms.”

  Hushed whispers passed through the crowd.

  “YAWN!” Meredith called out.

  “To me, a president is supposed to do what’s right, help people who need it, and make people’s lives better,” Dara finished. “And that’s what I’d like to do for this school.”

  Wow, that was really good, thought Eugene. But now I need to focus on beating Meredith. How can I do that if everyone believes all that junk she’s promising? I’d need to do something crazy . . . like tell everyone she’s really a supervillain.

  Eugene’s heart skipped. “That’s brilliant!” he cried. “No one would vote for a supervillain!” Filled with hope, Eugene rushed onto the stage before the principal even said his name. He was ready to make the shortest speech in election history. It was only going to be six words . . . .

  MEREDITH IS REALLY LITTLE MISS STINKY PINKY!

  But suddenly the lights went out.

  Everyone, stay calm and remain seated,” Ms. Beasley called out. “There’s no reason to panic.”

  “Your future queen is in the dark, and you think there’s no reason to panic?!” Meredith yelled.

  Is someone sabotaging my speech? Eugene wondered as he stumbled into his backpack. Which of my archenemies could it be? Whoever it is, they’re gonna be sorry they messed with . . . CAPTAIN AWESOME!

  BACKPACK! Uh, it’s somewhere. It is kinda dark.

  ZIPPER! Wait . . . . Where’s the zipper again?

  COSTUME! Nope. That’s an old sock. Try again.

  COSTUME! Nailed it! MI-TEE!

  Eugene pulled out the mini-flashlight he kept in his backpack just in case a supervillain ever tried to steal the sun. He made his way to Charlie and Sally, who had pulled on their own costumes and rushed toward the stage to help their friend. The trio snuck over to the auditorium door.

  “One flick of the light switch, and we’ll send evil scrambling back to the shadows,” Captain Awesome said.

  FLICK! FLICK!

  FLICK?

  FLICK! FLICK! FLICK! FLICK! FLICK! FLICK!

  “The light switch isn’t working!” Captain Awesome gasped.

  “We should try the circuit breakers,” Supersonic Sal suggested.

  “The how-a-ma-what?” Nacho Cheese Man asked.

  “The circuit breakers. They’re the switches that control the electricity going into the whole building,” Supersonic Sal explained. “Our house is old, and my dad has to go and fix ours in the basement all the time.”

  “They do what-a-ma-who to where?” Nacho Cheese Man said.

  “Just lead the way, Sal,” Captain Awesome said.

  Luckily, these circuit breakers weren’t in the Basement of Fear. They were in a closet at the top of the auditorium stairs. Supersonic Sal opened a small panel door to reveal the numerous breaker switches.

  “Should I spray them with some cheese?” Nacho Cheese Man asked.

  “No! Cheese and electricity do not mix,” Supersonic Sal said. She scanned the switches with the flashlight. “I just have to figure out which is the right switch to turn the lights back on . . . .”

  “What happens if you’re wrong?” Captain Awesome tried not to sound too nervous. “Will we be blasted into space and have to live on the planet Astrotopia forever?!”

  “This is it!” Supersonic Sal reached out for the switch.

  Nacho Cheese Man gulped! Captain Awesome closed his eyes!

  FLIP!

  FLICKER! FLICKER!

  “Aaaaaah! We’re being blasted to Astrotopia!” Nacho Cheese Man yelled.

  The lights flickered once, twice more, then came back on. It was the right switch!

  “Hey, what are you kids doing back here?” It was the janitor, aka THE PERILOUS PLUNGER!

  I get stuck plunging the boys’ room for one minute, and I come back to utter chaos,” the Perilous Plunger complained as he angrily shook his Atomic Plunger.

  “Hey! Watch where you’re pointing that weapon!” cried Supersonic Sal.

  Nacho Cheese Man quickly stepped in. “What she means to say is, we’re sorry, Your Smelliness. But it was our duty to help our school and defeat the Darkness.”

  Captain Awesome was very impressed by Nacho Cheese Man’s sudden diplomacy.

  “Yeah, well, I guess there’s no harm done,” admitted the janitor. “But you guys better get back over to the rest of the assembly before one of the teachers catches you out of your seats!”

  Eugene stared down at the crowd. GULP!

  Remember, all you’ve got to do is tell everyone that Meredith is really Little Miss Stinky Pinky, and she’ll lose for sure! Eugene reminded himself as he walked to the podium.

  “I hope he’s gonna give us all rocket ships,” Gil Ditko whispered loudly to Jake Story.

  Eugene took a deep breath. It was time to tell everyone the truth about Meredith. But strangely, it wasn’t Meredith’s words that kept ringing in Eugene’s head. It was Dara’s. A president is supposed to do what’s right, help people who need it, and make people’s lives better.

  It reminded him of what Super Dude told his new sidekick, Li’l Super Duper Dude, in Super Dude No. 129: Being able to fly isn’t what makes us heroes. We’re heroes because we make a difference when no one else can.

  “Um . . . I know a lot of you are waiting for me to make some crazy promises,” Eugene began.

  “I want a rocket!” Gil Ditko yelled from his seat.

  “Well, that’s the thing. I can’t give you a rocket,” Eugene continued. “I can only tell you that. I can also tell you that I’ll give everyone everything they want plus infinity forever, but I really can’t give anyone that, either. No one can.”  Eugene felt a lump form in his throat. “Look, you can vote for someone who will make you crazy promises, or you can vote for someone who has a real plan to help this school. I want to do what’s right and help people. That’s why I think you should vote for .
. . Dara Sim. Thank you.”

  Eugene walked off the stage to total silence except for the echoing laughter of Meredith.

  “HA! HA! HA! HA! Nice speech, Eugerm!” she yelled.

  “What just happened?” Charlie asked Eugene when the assembly was over.

  “I really liked Dara’s speech.” Eugene shrugged.

  “Well, I think that was very brave,” said Sally.

  Eugene smiled.

  The next day, Eugene arrived at school feeling better than he had in days. Until he encountered Meredith in full meltdown mode.

  “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOST?!” Meredith shouted. “THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE! I’M THE QUEEN! ME! ME! MEREDITH! RECOUNT! I DEMAND A RECOUNT!”

  Eugene was stunned! If Meredith lost, could that mean . . . ?

  “I WON?!” Eugene gasped.

  “Nope. Dara did,” Charlie said.

  Eugene’s heart sank for a moment, but then he realized it was awesome that Dara had won. She was the best kid for the job.

  “Everyone did a great job, and I’m proud of you all. You should be proud too,” Ms. Beasley said.

  Meredith folded her arms and plopped down in her chair. “I don’t want to be proud. I want to be QUEEN!”

  Eugene shook Dara’s hand. “You made a great speech. You deserved to win.”

  “Thanks, Eugene,” Dara replied. “And thanks for what you said during your speech. It was pretty cool.”

  “We may only be second graders, but we weren’t born yesterday,” Ellen Moore said. “It was fun to cheer for those crazy things Meredith promised, but she’d need a fairy wand to make them all come true.”

  “DARA! DARA! DARA!”  the kids in class started to chant. Meredith was the only one not chanting.

  “Maybe you could go talk to her?” Dara suggested.

  “Me?! No way!” Eugene exclaimed.

  “I don’t know if you can say no to the president,” Sally said.

  Eugene gritted his teeth and walked very, very slowly over to Meredith’s seat.

  “I think you did a great job,” he told her.

  “Not good enough.” Meredith sighed.

  “Maybe next year we can try again. We could even come up with a real plan like Dara did,” Eugene suggested hopefully.

  Eugene braced himself for what Meredith was going to say back. But instead she nodded. “Yeah. Maybe,” she said. And then quickly mumbled, “AndyoudidagoodjobtooIguess.”

  Eugene and Meredith shook hands.

  Dara definitely deserves to be president. She must be a great president if she got Meredith and me to be nice to each other! Eugene thought. And that was pretty . . .

  MI-TEE!

  About the Author and Illustrator

  When STAN KIRBY was six years old, he tied a beach towel around his neck and became Super Commander Beach Boy. He tried his best to protect sand castles from the waves, keep seagulls away from his french fries, and keep the beach clean. When Stan’s not creating the awesome adventures of Captain Awesome, he loves reading comic books, eating okra, and hang gliding (but not at the same time).

  GEORGE O’CONNOR’S cover—as a mild-mannered clerk in one of Gotham’s most beloved children’s bookstores—was completely blown when his first picture book, KAPOW!, exploded onto the scene. Forced to leave the bookselling world behind, he now spends even more time in his secret Brooklyn, New York, hideout—where he uses his amazing artistic powers to strike fear in the hearts of bad guys everywhere!

  Visit us at simonandschuster.com/kids

  Authors.SimonandSchuster.com/Stan-Kirby

  Authors.SimonandSchuster.com/George-OConnor

  Little Simon

  Simon & Schuster, New York

  CaptainAwesomeBooks.com

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  LITTLE SIMON

  An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division • 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020 • www.SimonandSchuster.com • First Little Simon paperback edition May 2018 • Copyright © 2018 by Simon & Schuster, Inc. • All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. • LITTLE SIMON is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc., and associated colophon is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. • For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or business@simonandschuster.com. • The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. • Designed by Jay Colvin. • The text of this book was set in Little Simon Gazette.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Kirby, Stan, author. | O’Connor, George, illustrator.

  Title: Captain Awesome for president / by Stan Kirby ; illustrated by George O’Connor.

  Description: First Little Simon paperback edition. | New York : Little Simon, 2018. | Series: Captain Awesome ; #20 | Summary: Eugene runs for second-grade class president against Meredith Mooney, but must find a way to prove he is best for the job without revealing either of their secret identities.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2017048248 (print) | LCCN 2017058750 (eBook) |

  ISBN 9781534420854 (eBook) | ISBN 9781534420830 (pbk) | ISBN 9781534420847 (hc)

  Subjects: | CYAC: Superheroes—Fiction. | Politics, Practical—Fiction. | Elections—Fiction. | Schools—Fiction. | Friendship—Fiction. | BISAC: JUVENILE FICTION / Comics & Graphic Novels / Superheroes. | JUVENILE FICTION / Action & Adventure / General. | JUVENILE FICTION / Readers / Chapter Books.

  Classification: LCC PZ7.K633529 (eBook) | LCC PZ7.K633529 Cagi 2018 (print) | DDC [Fic]—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017048248