Playing With Fire

by Ruth Staunton

  “You can go down if you want,” he told her, “but I’m staying.”

  “Nope,” Stacy replied. “I’m not going down without you. Come on, kid, spill it. What’s down there that’s so bad it makes staying up here worth it? Your mom’s not mad. She’s worried sick, and so is Cade.”

  “He’s gonna hit me,” Nicky said quietly.

  Whatever Stacy had expected to hear, that wasn’t it. “Cade?” she asked incredulously. “Honey, Cade might be mad, but he would cut off his own hand before he hurt you. Trust me.”

  Nicky shook his head stubbornly. “He said so.”

  The very thought of it was more than Stacy could get her head around. Ok, yes, she could see him making some mock threat. ‘Scare me like that again, boy, and I’ll beat you senseless’ or something like that, but it would have been light and teasing, and he wouldn’t have meant a word of it. “Sweetie, even if he said something like that, he didn’t mean it,” she said with certainty.

  “Yes, he did,” Nicky said, equally certain. “He said if I ran away again he’d…” He faltered, studying the rugged boards beneath them with intense scrutiny, a fierce blush creeping up his neck and ears. After a moment, he took a deep breath and forced it out. “He said he’d turn me over his knee like my daddy would have,” he finished in a rush.

  In that instant, like a light switch flipped in a dark room, Cade’s words on the ride out came back to her and understanding dawned. “He said he’d spank you,” Stacy said. Nicky nodded, still painfully red. Stacy didn’t bother denying or sugarcoating it. She sighed; shaking back wet hair from her face. “That’s pretty scary,” she agreed softly. “Look, Nick, I’m not going to lie to you. If he has promised you a spanking for running away, that’s exactly what he’s going to do, and it really doesn’t matter whether it’s today, tomorrow, next week, or two months from now. He’s not going away, and he’s not going to forget. The best thing to do is get it over with.”

  “It’s gonna hurt,” Nicky said softly.

  Stacy didn’t bother to deny it. “Yeah, it is, but only for a few minutes then it will be over. He won’t be mad. He still loves you, and it will be over, really over. He won’t mention it again, and he won’t let anybody else give you a hard time about it either. Once it’s done, it’s done.”

  “Really?” Nicky asked.

  Stacy nodded. “Really. I know it sounds lame, but it really is true. He only does it because he loves you. If you ever tell him I said that, I will deny it, but we both know it’s true, don’t we? And just between me and you, it’s a heck of a lot better than being ignored, isn’t it?” She waited, seriously expecting an answer. Nicky was quiet for a long moment. She didn’t blame him. She was pretty shocked at herself too, but she meant every word. Finally, Nicky nodded.

  “So, what do you say, kid?” Stacy continued. “Ready to get out of this mess?”

  “I’m scared,” he told her quietly.

  “Of Cade or of getting down?” she asked.

  “Both,” he admitted in a small voice.

  “I’m not much looking forward to it myself,” she agreed, “but I’ll be right there with you the whole time. Neither of us has to do it alone. Okay?”

  After a long moment, he nodded slowly.

  “Ready to blow this joint?” She asked, hoping she sounded a whole lot more casual and upbeat than she felt. In reply, Nicky got to his feet. Stacy rose and moved over to the side where she had come up, studying it carefully. After a moment, she turned to Nicky. “We’ll go down together. I’ll test the holds first and tell you where to step and hold.”

  Nicky shook his head. “I can’t. It’s too high. What if I fall?”

  Privately, Stacy thought it was a little bit late to be considering that now, but all she said was, “You’re going to be fine. Just do exactly what I say, and we will be out of this rain in no time.” Nicky still looked skeptical, but he nodded. He was wet and scared, but she could see him draw himself up and gather his courage. There was so much of Cade in the gesture that she had to smother a highly inappropriate urge to grin. She gave him a minute, waiting until he looked to her for direction before she spoke. “Have you ever climbed down a ladder before?”

  Nicky nodded. “Lots of times.”

  “Good,” Stacy said, “then you already know what to do. This is just climbing down backwards, like climbing down a really big ladder. Just listen to me, I’ll help you. Ok?”

  When Nicky agreed, she turned around and took the first precarious steps down, gently guiding Nicky beside her. The descent was agonizingly slow. The wet wood was slick and fragile, and she couldn’t see what she was doing. Every step was treacherous. She half expected the old beams to give way and come crumbling down around their heads at any moment. Twice, they had to stop because Nicky became too afraid and had to be coaxed into continuing. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, they got close enough to the ground for Cade to reach them. He plucked Nicky off the weathered wood and set him gently on his feet on the ground. A moment later, he did the same with Stacey, as if she were no bigger or older than Nicky. Before she could protest, he gathered both of them in his arms and hugged them hard. Then, he held them away at arm’s length and shook them gently.

  “What the hell were you thinking?” he demanded. “You scared fifteen years off my life. Don’t you ever scare me like that again, either of you!”

  Stacy met his eye without difficulty. The shouting didn’t deter her in the least. For one, it was mostly defensive, born of fear, and she knew it. For another, she would do the same again without thinking twice no matter how much Cade ranted and raved about it.

  For Nicky, however, already cold, wet, and extremely overwrought, the shouting was more than he could take. He immediately burst into tears. “I’m sorry, Uncle Cade. Please don’t be mad,” he pleaded.

  Cade softened then. He ran a gentle hand over Nicky’s head and hugged him again. “It’s going to be okay, kiddo,” he said quietly. “We’ll talk about it at home. Right now, your mama is worried sick, and we need to get you warm and dry.” Keeping a hand on Nicky’s shoulder and sliding his other arm around Stacy’s waist, he led them back to the truck and hustled them in, closing the passenger door firmly behind them.

  Stacy immediately turned the heater on full blast, hoping to dry them out and chase away the chill. She listened with half an ear while Cade called first Gail and then Linda to let them know Nicky had been found and was safe. Nicky talked briefly with his mother, fighting back tears and giving quiet, subdued answers interspersed with tearful apologies. From what Stacy could gather from the one-sided conversation, Gail was just grateful he’d been found and was ok. She wasn’t the least bit interested in apologies or discipline or even scolding. She just wanted him home. That was certainly understandable. Stacy’s own parents might have once left her to spend the night outside without ever noticing she was gone, but most parents would be frantic. Still, Stacy couldn’t help but think that letting it slide wasn’t going to help Nicky either. If anything, giving him attention for doing it would make him more inclined to try again the next time he wanted everyone’s attention. She of all people understood that. When she took time to think about it and be honest, which wasn’t often, she could admit that she had probably been looking for someone to put a stop to her antics most of her life. No one ever had–until Cade.

  For his part, Cade was feeling decidedly grim. As the fear and anger began to ebb, the reality of the situation was making itself known with stark clarity. Nicky had run away yet again. He had been very clear with the boy that last time what he’d do if it happened again, and it had. Nicky had a spanking coming, and they both knew it. Gail wasn’t going to like it. Hell, he didn’t like it. When he made the threat, he had never expected to have to follow through with it. He had hoped that the threat alone would be enough to discourage Nicky from ever pulling a stunt like this again. Not that it had been a bluff, he’d meant every word of it, including what he’d said Gary would have done, and he was
just as sure of it today as he had been that day. He just wasn’t looking forward to having to deliver on it or getting past Gail to do it.

  He drove straight to Gail’s. All three of them were drenched, but right now, Nicky was his top priority. Gail would probably have something Stacy could wear, and he could wait. He’d tolerated being wet and cold and far worse for far longer back in his Marine days. If he couldn’t handle being a little wet then he had clearly gone too damned soft.

  Gail burst out the door as soon as they pulled into the yard, heedless of the rain that was still pouring down without showing the slightest sign of stopping. She snatched open the passenger side door, completely ignoring Stacy and reaching over her toward Nicky. “Nicky! I’m so glad to see you. You had me so worried. What were you thinking?” she said in a rush. She drew a breath, but before Nicky had a chance to answer, she plowed on. “Never mind, that doesn’t matter now. What matters is that you’re home and safe.” She stopped suddenly as if becoming aware of them all for the first time. “Oh my goodness! You’re soaking wet - all of you. Look at me standing here prattling like an idiot. Let’s get you all inside.” Gail stepped aside, allowing Stacy to get out. Nicky followed, head down and subdued. Gail blithely ignored his mood, gathering him up in a hug. “Come on,” she said, hustling him inside. “Let’s get you warm and dry.”

  Stacy stared after Gail. From her expression, it was clear that she wasn’t sure whether she was expected to follow or just go quietly away. Cade made the decision for her. He came around the truck and looped an arm around her waist, following Gail inside. Gail and Nicky were in the kitchen when they came in. Gail was pulling clean and dry clothes from a stack of folded laundry that sat atop a washing machine inside a crowded utility closet. She handed them to Nicky and herded him up the stairs. Cade stopped her when she would have followed him up.

  “Gail, do you have some sweats or something that Stacy could borrow? We need to talk before I take her home, and she needs to get out of these wet clothes,” he asked quietly.

  Gail turned to them, startled, as if realizing they were there for the first time. “Of course,” she said slowly. She turned to Stacy, smiling, as if she were suddenly remembering the need for politeness and propriety. “Come with me, and we will see what I can round up.”

  “I’m fine,” Stacy protested. “It’s just water. I promise I won’t melt.”

  Cade grinned but didn’t budge. “Maybe not, but you don’t need pneumonia either. Go.”

  Stacy glared at him but reluctantly followed Gail up the stairs and into her bedroom. Gail pulled open a drawer and began rooting through it. “My stuff will probably be a little big on you but at least it’s dry.”

  “You don’t have to do this,” Stacy said apologetically. “I’ll be fine, really.”

  “Don’t be silly,” Gail told her. “It’s the least I can do after what you did for Nicky.”

  Stacy shrugged. “He’s a good kid, just a bit misguided sometimes. Lord knows I can relate to that.” She flashed Gail a rueful grin.

  Gail met it with a small smile of her own. “I think Cade’s upset with him–and with me,” she admitted quietly.

  “Cade’s scared,” Stacy told her, “but he loves Nicky. Whatever he says or does, remember that.”

  Gail nodded. “I’ve never doubted that. When Gary died, Cade promised me he’d love Nicky like his own, and he has.”

  “What about you?” Stacy asked before she could stop herself. “Has there ever been more than friendship between you and Cade?”

  Gail groaned and rolled her eyes. “Oh, god, not you too. Why can’t anyone in this town ever lay off of that? No, absolutely not. I love Cade dearly. I’d trust him with my life, but I’d never in a million years want to date him. It’d be like dating my brother.” She passed Stacy a set of sweats and a thick pair of socks. “You have to understand, honey. Gary’s unit was family. They were brothers in every way but blood and bound tighter than family, especially Gary and Cade. He’d never betray that bond, and neither would I.”

  Stacy nodded. “I understand. I hope I haven’t upset you.”

  “Upset me?” Gail said, surprised. “That rumor’s been going around for years. I’m just grateful you had guts enough to ask.” She turned to the door. “I’ll let you get changed.” She stopped in the doorway, turning back, “And Stacy, thank you.” Then, the door closed and she was gone.

  Stacy stared after her, clothes forgotten in her hands and water dripping unchecked onto the carpet. She was an idiot, a complete idiot who’d made a total mess of the best thing that ever happened to her, and she had no idea how to make it right.

  Chapter 13

  Cade was waiting when Gail returned to the kitchen, propped against the counter, arms folded, looking distinctly ominous.

  “We need to talk about Nicky,” he told her.

  Gail sighed, dropping into a chair at the small table in the center of the room. “Can’t I just be happy he’s home?” she asked. “Do we have to make such a big unpleasant drama out of it?”

  Cade shrugged. “You can go on burying your head in the sand and ignoring it if you want, but if you do, it will happen again, and the next time he might not be lucky enough to come out of it unscathed. I can’t stand by and let that happen. I made him a promise the last time he ran off that there would be consequences if he did it again, and I meant it.” Gail sighed but didn’t protest. “Did he tell you what I told him?” Cade asked.

  Gail shook her head. “No. He doesn’t tell me much these days.”

  Cade moved over and sat down across from her. He waited until she looked up at him and then met her gaze and held it. “I told him I would punish him just like his daddy would have done. I think we both know what Gary would’ve done, don’t we, Gail?”

  Gail shook her head, biting her lip. “No, Cade, no, you know I don’t believe in that.”

  “I know,” Cade said quietly, “and I’ve respected that, but we both know Gary didn’t feel the same. You know as well as I do that Gary didn’t see anything wrong with the occasional spanking. I don’t know how you two would’ve worked your differences out about Nicky if Gary had lived, but I feel sure there would have been times when Gary would have felt the need to step in and make a strong impression.”

  “If Gary were here, this would have never happened,” Gail said quietly.

  “Maybe, maybe not,” Cade told her. “I think it’s pretty likely that Nicky would have been a handful regardless, but what I do know is that his daddy would’ve never let him get away with it. When he asked me to be Nicky’s godfather, he made me promise that if he wasn’t around I’d treat Nicky like my own. He trusted me to do that. I’ve tried my best to do that in every way but one. I’ve always respected your views on discipline regardless of my own, but I need you to trust me today. I need you to let me do this my and Gary’s way.”

  Gail scrubbed her hands over her face. When she looked up again, she looked exhausted and absolutely at the end of her rope. “I don’t like this, Cade. I don’t like this at all.”

  “I know,” Cade replied softly.

  Gail stood up and walked to the counter, clearly wrestling with herself. A moment later, she dropped her hands on the counter with a heavy thud and nodded. “Okay. I don’t like it, but frankly I don’t know what else to do. You’re right. Gary trusted you, and so do I.”

  Cade stepped over and laid a hand Gail’s shoulder. “You know I would never do Nicky any harm. It won’t be a pleasant few minutes, for any of us, but I promise you it’ll be okay.” He didn’t wait for her to answer. The kindest thing for everyone involved was to just get it over with. He passed Stacy on the stairs as he went up. “Stay with Gail please,” he asked her quietly. “She could use the company right now.”

  Stacy nodded, and Cade gently squeezed her shoulder before heading onto Nicky’s room. Nicky was damp-haired and barefoot, sitting cross-legged on the bed in pajama bottoms and an oversized tee shirt playing a handheld video game. Cade perched
on the edge of bed near him. Gently tapping the edge of the game with a fingernail, Cade said, “Put that down, please. We need to talk.”

  Reluctantly, Nicky laid the game down on the bed. He looked up slowly, distinctly apprehensive. His expression alone told Cade everything he needed to know. Nicky remembered exactly what he’d said and knew exactly what was about to happen. “You want to tell me what was going on today?” Cade asked.

  Nicky shrugged. “I was mad.”

  “With me?” Cade pressed.

  Nicky shrugged again. “Kinda.”

  “I know you weren’t happy with me this morning. I wasn’t all that happy with you either,” Cade told him. “You know better than to talk to your mama like that.” Nicky dropped his head but didn’t comment. “We’ve talked about you getting mad and running away before to, haven’t we?” Nicky nodded reluctantly. “What did I tell you the last time you ran away?” Nicky fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable, but didn’t answer. Cade wasn’t buying it. He knew damn well Nicky knew exactly what he meant. “Answer me, Nicholas.”

  “You said not to do it again,” Nicky replied, barely audible.

  “And what did I say would happen if you did?” Cade prompted.

  Nicky swallowed hard. “You said you’d you-know,” Nicky hedged. His voice was tiny and he sounded impossibly young, far too young to have taken the kind of break neck chances he’d taken today. “Please Uncle Cade,” he went on. “I won’t do it again.”

  “I hope not,” Cade told him. “I really do, but that doesn’t change the fact that you did it today. Actions have consequences, kiddo. I told you I’d spank you if you ran again, and I’m going to. Whether or not we have to deal with this again in the future doesn’t change that.” Nicky’s chin had started to tremble, and he was starting to tear-up from sheer apprehension. Cade brought the conversation to a close by the simple expediency of tugging the boy over his lap. Nicky was past being able to really think about anything he said at this point anyway; the kindest thing he could do was just to get it over with.