Alex (In the Company of Snipers)

by Winters, Irish

“It’s okay, darlin.” Harley gave her another squeeze as the storm subsided. “Murphy told me a story about Alex in the first Gulf War. You wanna hear it?”

  Kelsey sighed. Harley seemed able to talk at the drop of a hat. She didn’t know if she wanted to hear anymore.

  “Anyway, Alex and his squad were working through one of them crowded Baghdad neighborhoods. Saddam was on the loose, and lots of insurgents were still active throughout the city.” He paused to catch his breath. His hand felt strong and sure on her waist. For a moment, she relaxed into his shoulder and just listened. As angry as she was with Alex, her foolish heart craved to hear any story about him.

  “Alex and another soldier got pinned down. The other guy was hurt pretty bad, so they hunkered down for a couple hours waiting for a medic. But you know how Alex is.” He squeezed her tight. “He got sick and tired of waiting, and came out shooting like a madman. There were five of them insurgents, and all of a sudden, this maniac charges right up to them, guns blazing and screaming. I’d a given anything to have seen their faces. I think he just shocked the hell out of them guys. Alex killed all five of ‘em. Never got a scratch. He saved the kid with him, too. I think his name was McCormack or something, but that’s Alex for you.”

  His hand had moved to her shoulder where he massaged a small circle of comfort. She was glad he was there. He had just described Alex to a T. The man was always fierce, angry, but always saving someone. Even her.

  “Yes, sir, he can be one mean sonofabitch, darlin, but I’ll bet he thinks that’s his one good quality. Don’t ya think?”

  Kelsey nodded, her thoughts still lost somewhere far away. “He’s so serious. There’s never enough time in the day. Work. Work. Work. That’s all he knows how to do.”

  Her voice faded as another picture materialized in her mind. She could see Alex clearly at his kitchen table. He had made coffee, listened to her, and wiped her nose. Piercing blue eyes asked her once again, “What is it you want, Kelsey?”

  Her heart cried out, “You. I want you.”

  “That’s how he keeps one step ahead of remembering, darlin. He’s got a boatload of crap in his head he’s still trying to forget. Kinda like me.” Harley pulled her close. “Guess it comes with the job. You don’t train a man to be a killer and end up with a regular guy now, do ya?”

  “But he’s not a killer. He’s kind and thoughtful he builds cradles every year for the kids at the cancer ward.” She turned to face Harley. “Did you know that?”

  “No, ma’am. I sure didn’t.”

  “Everything he does is so important. I mean, its not like he can just take a couple hours off work, you know. I’ve been to his office. He’s important and his work’s important, too.”

  “No, darlin, his job isn’t like most jobs, that’s for sure.”

  She shook the image of Alex from her mind. Why was she defending him? She stared out the window as the puzzle that was Alex confounded her all over again. The field of alfalfa beyond the manicured lawn rippled as a summer breeze carved its way over and through the purpling flowers, but all she could see was – him. He was hurt, and she had left him.

  “Hey, listen. I was out of line showing up like I did.” Harley gave her a final squeeze and stepped away. “I had no business asking you to go back to Alex. Me and the boys will just head back home and mind our own business like we should have done in the first place.”

  He whistled to the dogs, but her hand on his arm brought him right back around.

  “Wait.”

  He turned to face her. “Whatcha need, darlin?”

  She clenched the edge of the sink. “I don’t know. I do, but I don’t. It’s just that ….”

  Harley waited.

  “It’s just that I’m the stupidest woman on the face of the earth and ….” The tears started again. “I love him.”

  “He loves you, too, Kelsey girl. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”

  “Oh, hell, Harley. Hell. Hell. Hell.” She stomped her foot with every cuss word.

  He kept grinning.

  “I don’t know what to do.”

  “How about I hold him? You smack him?” He arched a devilish brow. “I could find you a big ole two-by-four.”

  “That’s actually a good idea.” Kelsey smiled through her tears.

  Harley grasped her shoulders and wiped her face gently with the kitchen towel. “Listen, darlin.” He tipped her chin up so she had to look at him. “I think you already know what you need to do. Trust yourself for a change. Don’t stay with Alex if you know you shouldn’t. Yeah, he isn’t the easiest guy to live with, but you gotta trust him, too. He’s packing a heap of grief all by himself, but one thing’s for sure. He loves you. Anyone can see that.” He tucked his hand under her chin. “Sounds to me like he’s the one who needs a little saving this time around, doesn’t he?”

  A splash of summer breeze whipped past the kitchen curtain. For a moment, it swirled with cool respite around the two friends. Harley kissed her forehead with a heavy sigh. “Ya know, we keep meeting like this, and I’m gonna ask you to marry me. I’m not the brightest guy around, but I’m not as dumb as Alex. I could give that old man a run for his money.”

  He said it so serious, Kelsey couldn’t help but smile. If it had been anyone else, she had have felt awkward and shy, but Harley was her friend. With another squeeze, they walked back to the living room, her hand securely fastened over his arm.

  “I never for one single minute thought you was a ping pong ball, darlin.” His phony Texas drawl was back in full force. “And you’re a regular little Suzy homemaker. Why, you make the best chocolate chip cookies I ever tasted.”

  “Louise made them.”

  “What?” The Texas drawl disappeared along with the smirky smile. He held her at arm’s length. “You mean you didn’t make all those cookies I just ate?”

  “You mean inhaled?” She watched the comic disbelief on his face. This guy had a definite knack for putting her at ease. “And no, I didn’t make them. Louise has been trying to fatten me up since I got here. She made them.”

  “Come to think of it, they weren’t so good. Arghhh.” He choked like he was coughing up a hairball, and she smiled even more. He grinned. “I do love you, Kelsey girl. I do.”

  “And I’ll always love you.” She patted his arm affectionately. She knew what kind of love Harley meant. In the process of rescuing her, he had become the brother she never had.

  “Then what say me and the dogs get you back to that dumb-assed boss of mine?”

  “Yes. I do want to go back to Alex.”

  He stood at the door while she wrote a quick note to Louise and grabbed her purse. Leaving wasn’t complicated. Louise and Phil would understand.

  “Now you’re sure you really want to go back to Alex?” he asked in his very best Texas twang. “I mean you’ve still got a pretty good offer on the table, little lady, even if I do say so myself.”

  “What? You or the cookies?”

  “Well, I was kinda thinking both?”

  Her arched brow must’ve told him everything.

  “Okay. Okay. I’m getting the truck.”

  Twenty-Six

  Alex

  “Well, today’s the big day.” Dr. Jax clapped Alex gently on the shoulder. “Are you ready, young man?”

  “Yeah. Ready.”

  Mother had cancelled her flight and was still in town. Supposedly she was excited for the bandages to come off. Alex didn’t know why it was such a big deal. If blind, he would have to learn to deal with it. If his sight was restored, he would get back to work. It was a no brainer, but as usual, Mother fussed over everything. Alex wished she had gone back to Virginia. He didn’t need the drama.

  “Okay then, here we go.” Dr. Jax snipped the tape and unwrapped the first layers of gauze. “I have the lights dimmed so you may not see much at first. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, maybe a few hours. Just take your time. Be patient.” He pulled the last of the gauze away. “My nurse will remove the cotton
packing and wash your eyes with a saline solution. It shouldn’t hurt, but let me know if you feel anything painful.”

  “I don’t know about you gentlemen, but I’ve sure got my fingers crossed,” Mother gushed with her usual over the top excitement. “It’ll be so good to get you back to normal, won’t it, Boss?”

  Alex didn’t respond. He sat on the edge of the bed as the nurse pulled the cotton packing off both eyes, applied a cleansing ointment and wiped his face and eyes. Her touch was so light he didn’t see how she could be cleaning anything. As his impatience escalated, he wanted to take the cloth and do it himself. The nurse dabbed more of the cleanser around his eyes with sterile cotton pads and then, just like the first time, she wiped the top and bottom of each eyelid as well as brows and cheeks with measured slowness. Alex had to admit, it did feel good to get the bandage off, and the skin beneath it cleaned. It had been too many weeks since he had felt fresh air on his face, but the nurse moved so slowly. She seemed nervous and timid. The simple process was taking forever.

  With great gentleness, she tipped his head back, and filled each eye with a squirt of cool saline solution. Alex felt her soft breath on his cheek. At least she was quiet, but her silence was just as annoying as Mother’s incessant chatter. Again the sensation of cleansing was a welcome relief to eyes that had been sealed tight for weeks. Alex thought about all the complications from the brain swelling, the induced coma, the shunt, the removal of part of his skull, as well as the temporary blindness. He knew he was lucky to be alive. He should be happy.

  I’m lucky all right—a stupid, lucky man.

  One thought played relentlessly behind the others. Kelsey. He would be a lot happier if he didn’t dread the moment he opened his eyes. Sight would confirm she was gone. Cynically, he thought blindness was all he deserved. Maybe that was his reward from karma, blindness in exchange for his cruelty to the woman karma had blessed him with. Kelsey had always believed their paths converged in that forest through an act of divine intervention, but he had hurled the blessing of her sweet love back into the face of God in a moment of despair and self-pity. He remembered the selfish thoughts he had when he had first found her at his cabin. For a smart man, he hadn’t learned much since then.

  I deserve to be blind.

  The nurse’s final act of drying his face brought him out of his reverie. She patted the soft cotton cloth against his nose and stepped away.

  “Slowly open your eyes,” Dr. Jax directed.

  “I can hardly stand it. It’s almost like Christmas, isn’t it, Boss?” Mother clapped her hands like a little girl, an annoying little girl.

  Alex didn’t respond. He would have preferred sharing this moment with Kelsey, but it was Mother here instead. The dynamics of karma struck him. Mother was all he deserved. Not Kelsey. He cast his negative thoughts aside, and did as he was instructed, squinting as the light pierced his healing retinas. As dim as it was, it still felt like a laser pinging off the back of his skull.

  “I’m seeing some light, but a lot of shadows, too.” Alex peered through bleary eyes, the room full of more darkness than light. “A lot of shadows.”

  “Good, real good.” Dr. Jax tipped Alex’s head back and examined both eyes further.

  “Man, that’s bright,” Alex complained, his eyes watering under the doctor’s bright scope.

  Dr. Jax continued his cursory exam. “Hmm. I like what I’m seeing and what I’m not seeing. We’ll do a complete exam later, but for now, I’m satisfied with your progress. I’m confident your vision will be nearly one hundred percent restored.”

  “What’s nearly supposed to mean?” Alex asked, his voice instantly edgy. Nearly one hundred percent was never an acceptable margin.

  “You might still need a little more work, Alex. Nothing too serious considering how bad this could’ve gone. You must live a charmed life.” Dr. Jax stepped back to look Alex in the eye. “So tell me, how does it feel to see again?”

  “It’d help if there was a little more light in this room,” Alex said sarcastically. Everything was veiled behind a murky curtain. He couldn’t see Mother, which was fine, but the annoying nurse stood too close, still waiting for what he didn’t know.

  “This is good progress. I’m pleased. We’ll talk about that procedure later if you’d like.” Dr. Jax offered his hand. “Congratulations, young man. This is a lot like bringing old Lazarus back from the grave. Shall we call it a day and get some fresh bandages back on those eyes?”

  The nurse reached for the instrument tray, but Alex wasn’t having any of it. With a curse on his tongue, and his hand clamped on her slender wrist, he turned to Dr. Jax. “There’s no sonofabitchin way I’m—”

  Alex gasped. A burst of recognition flashed behind those tired blues. His head jerked back to the nurse. It happened so fast. He exploded off the bed and tackled her. She yelped. He misjudged the distance, but caught her roughly in his arms. The instrument tray clattered to the floor, but that sound was nothing compared to the groan from Alex.

  “Kelsey?”

  He didn’t wait for an answer. He knew. Pulling her into his arms, he covered her mouth with his. With her slender body bent backwards over the counter, he kissed her harder than he had ever kissed her before. “You’re here. I can’t believe it. You’re here. I’m sorry. Kelsey, I’m sorry.” Tears flooded his eyes until he couldn’t see anymore. “I’m so sorry.”

  He kissed her again, trying to pour all his love back into her as if he could make up for the pain he had caused. Choked with emotion, his hands searched her body for any sign of disgust or rejection. There was none. She arched into him as if she had never left. They clung together, sweet murmurs mixed with tears. At last, Alex pulled her onto the hospital bed and planted her firmly on his lap, his hands smoothing over her face and neck to prove she was here, that she had returned, that she really loved him.

  “I see you kinda like my nurse,” Dr. Jax said gently.

  Alex wiped his face with the back of his hand, trying unsuccessfully to contain his emotions. Someone shoved a couple of tissues at him. It was Mother, who for once didn’t say a word. Shading his eyes, he could just barely discern a familiar, tall gangly figure leaning against the door. “Harley? Is that you?”

  “How you doing, Boss?” It looked like Harley had the widest Cheshire cat smile plastered all over his face. He gave Kelsey the thumbs up sign and winked. “Looks like you two need a room. Oh, wait. This is your room.”

  “How’s Turkey?” Alex asked between kisses to the side of Kelsey’s head. He had what he wanted in his hands. It was time for everyone to leave.

  “Don’t know, but Pendleton’s not too bad,” Harley said. “You oughta try it sometime.”

  Alex buried his face in Kelsey’s short-cropped hair instead of responding. Ah, just the scent of her filled his soul with hope he didn’t deserve. She sat snuggled under his chin with one hand clasped tight in his like a lifeline, like she had never left at all, like he had never said those mean words in the first place.

  “I love you,” he whispered. He couldn’t keep his eyes or hands off her. She felt so good, so soft and warm and—

  “Ahem,” Murphy coughed from the back of the dimly lit room. That gentle reminder brought Alex back to the friends in his hospital room.

  “Murphy?” Alex squinted into the shadows. “Is that Roy with you?”

  “We’re here,” Roy drawled, his voice extra soft. “We’ve been waiting for this day.”

  Alex strained to separate his friends from shadows. Along with Harley and Mother, he could vaguely discern Murphy and Roy. Dr. Jax had already excused himself.

  “Doesn’t anyone work anymore?” Alex meant it to sound serious, but everyone laughed. He didn’t care. The last thing on his mind was business. He buried his face against Kelsey again, hoping to hide his emotions.

  “We’re going to get breakfast to give you kids some time to yourselves,” Murphy said. “Then we’ll discuss all those young fellows you hired for the Seattle o
ffice, Alex, and—”

  “Get out of here.” Alex held his hand up to silence his friend. “Please. Just go.”

  Kelsey

  The door closed quietly. Kelsey and Alex were left alone, and she had never felt happier. He pulled her with him back onto the bed.

  “They hurt you,” he declared angrily.

  “They hurt you, too,” she whispered.

  He smothered her in his arms, one hand at the back of her head as he held her tight with his other. Sobs wrangled their way out of him in wretched gasps he fought to hide. Feeling his torment shudder through him, she couldn’t bear one more moment of it.

  “Alex?”

  His only reply was to squeeze her tighter. She rested under his chin and against his proud heart. Even now it thumped much too fast for its own good, but for the first time in weeks, she felt at peace. This was all she had ever wanted. Closing her eyes, Kelsey absorbed the familiar sensation of his strength around her, the smell of him, the solid weight of his hands, and the strong emotions that tortured him. She knew it now. Alex would always be tortured simply because he did it to himself, and it was okay. He was a man of passion. He loved his country enough to die for it, but at the same time, he loved her enough to show her how to live.

  “Do you want to know what I think?” She felt him nod. Kelsey smiled. Here he lay, the strongest man in her world, arrogant and tough when he needed to be, proclaimed by the business world as one of the top entrepreneurs of the year, and he wouldn’t let her see him cry. “I’m happiest when I’m with you.”

  “Well I’m a helluva better man when I’m with you,” he muttered hoarsely, wiping his face and quickly securing her in his arms again.

  Kelsey let him. She hadn’t returned to toss an ultimatum in his face. Neither did she come back to make demands or exact harsh expectations in exchange for his repentance. No. The moment he had recognized her, she had what she wanted. He was where she belonged. He was her safe place. Alex could build her a castle, or they could live in a trailer park; it was all the same to her. As long as they were together her life was complete.