Chasing Him

by Kennedy Fox

  I roll my eyes and smile. “Glad you were thinking about me.”

  “I’ve got you.” He grins. “Alright, well I better get back to the stables, so Kiera can go on her trip.” He groans, and I know it affects him more than he’ll ever admit.

  “She’s at my house, or at least she was when I left.”

  “Oh, okay. Talk to you later.”

  Once Jackson leaves, I head into my office and start researching family lawyers. I might need to get a restraining order on them, so they don’t step foot on my property again, but I don’t know the first thing about this shit. I’m not letting the Kensingtons anywhere near my daughter, and the only way to fight this is to do it legally, even if I’m tempted to do it with my fists.

  “Knock, knock.” I look up and see Emily in the doorway. Elizabeth is sleeping in her car seat, and when she sets her down, she shakes out her hand. “How are babies so dang heavy?”

  I chuckle, agreeing. “If I didn’t see it with my own eyes every day, I’d never guess what they’re capable of producing.”

  “Yeah, well, that goes for all people.” Emily has worked in the ER and as a doctor for quite some time, so I don’t doubt she’s seen her fair share of nightmares.

  “What are you guys doing here?”

  She comes and takes a seat. “I needed adult interaction before I completely lost my mind. Evan’s back at work, which means Elizabeth is the only person I talk to for twenty hours a day.”

  “Well, you know you can always stop in at the house. I’m sure Mila and Maize would enjoy the company,” I remind her.

  “I just might because I’m starting to respond in baby talk when Evan calls me.”

  I laugh at the pathetic face she makes. “Well, maybe you can help me out with something. I told Mila I’d take care of dinner tonight without really having a plan.”

  “Oh dinner, huh?”

  “Yes, dinner. She has dinner ready almost every night, and I just wanted to give her a night off from worrying about it. That’s it.”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “What is with everyone? Why does dinner always have to equal more?”

  “Why don’t you tell me?” she mocks. “Okay, so give me some ideas. You want something that says ‘We’re just hanging out,’ or ‘I want to take your clothes off.’”

  Groaning, I roll my head back and squeeze my eyes shut. “Never mind. I’ll figure something out.”

  “Or…” she continues, ignoring me. “‘I like you and want to eventually get in your pants.’” She smirks. “In that case, I’d suggest some kind of pasta dish. Pasta is always a winner.”

  “How does pasta translate into that?” I give her a funny look but then shake my head. “Actually, don’t answer that. Sorry I asked.”

  “Oh, John.” She tilts one side of her lips up in a mock smile. “You’re just too easy.”

  “You need a new hobby,” I retort.

  “I just found one.”

  “Picking on me isn’t a hobby. Now hand me your baby, so I can hold her before I have to get back to work.”

  Once Emily and Elizabeth leave, I finish a few more tasks before calling it a night. I’ve been thinking about the words Emily said and wondering if that’s what Mila thinks I’m trying to do. Mila is so much more than just a random hookup, but there still needs to be boundaries between us. I don’t know what that kiss meant or what she’ll read into it, but I also don’t want to give her the wrong idea. I can no longer be that guy who acts recklessly without consequences. Maize’s my life now, and that old lifestyle is long gone.

  Chapter Nineteen

  MILA

  “Football highlights are on tonight,” Kat reminds me as we talk on the phone. “Featuring Rodgers and all the records he’s broken.”

  “Oh crap, that’s right. I wonder if John gets the channel here.” I grab the remote and search for the NFL network. “Sweet, it starts at seven. I have to get my jersey on.” Setting the controller down, I head toward my room, though it’s only eleven and I have plenty of time before it starts.

  Kat laughs, making me smile and melting away some of the tension in my body. Ever since that kiss in the hallway, I’ve been edgy. Every stolen glance between us feels forbidden, and though we’ve barely talked about it, I can’t get it off my mind.

  John came home that night and busied himself in the kitchen right away. He made spaghetti, which was really cute considering he didn’t have the right noodles. It was more like fettuccini but with marinara sauce. He added mushrooms and tomatoes, and it actually wasn’t too bad.

  We kept the dinner conversation to a minimum, focusing on Maize and watching the cute little faces she’d make. Neither wanting to talk about the elephant in the room while avoiding eye contact throughout the meal. It felt like junior high all over again.

  “Okay, I’m putting you on speaker, so I can change,” I tell Kat and grab my Aaron Rodgers jersey from my closet. “Oh shoot. Maize, you need your onesie,” I tell her as she jumps in her Jumperoo.

  “You didn’t. Kat snickers.

  “Mom sent it in a package, so of course, she has to represent the green and gold!” I head back to John’s room and search for it.

  “I bet John loved that.”

  “Nope, but Maize and I have a deal. She wears Packers attire and doesn’t listen to her daddy when it comes to football.”

  “Speaking of John…” Her voice lingers, and I know what’s coming next. “Last I heard, there was a very steamy hallway kiss.”

  “That was last week’s news.” I snort, trying to avoid the subject, but I know Kat’s not going to let it go.

  “And?”

  Once I’m back in the living room, I set down my phone, so I can change Maize.

  “And…nothing. I don’t know. It’s been…weird. He made dinner that night, which was awkward, and then after I put Maize to bed, I joined him in the kitchen to help clean up, and then he apologized.” I frown, thinking back to that evening.

  “He apologized? For what? Not putting his dick in—”

  “Kat! You’re on speakerphone! Little baby ears,” I remind her, laying Maize down on the couch and taking off the cute dress she had on.

  “She doesn’t know what I’m saying,” she tells me with certainty.

  “Okay but I don’t want her first word to be the ‘d’ word either.”

  She laughs and then clears her throat. “Fine, we’ll use code words. Did he apologize for not putting his sword in your goody basket?”

  “Oh my God. You just referred to it as a goody basket.”

  “What? Would you prefer something else? Perhaps pink panther, love canal, or whisker biscuit suit you better?”

  I mimic a gagging noise and beg her to stop. “Okay, goody basket it is.”

  “Alright, so what happened?”

  I finish getting the Packers onesie on Maize and lay her down on the floor with a few toys. After she’s situated, I take my phone with me as I head to the laundry room to grab her clothes from the dryer.

  “Well, he apologized for kissing me and letting things go too far.”

  “Jerk. Okay, then what?”

  “Then I asked him why he was apologizing for that, and if it was because he doesn’t have feelings for me or because he does but thinks it’s inappropriate because I’m Maize’s nanny.”

  “And what did he say to that?”

  “He said it was inappropriate, and we shouldn’t cross those boundaries and blah, blah, blah.” I set the phone down on the washer as I pull the clothes out of the dryer and place them into the basket. “And then I told him where he could shove those boundaries.”

  “Up his tight ass, I hope,” she concludes.

  I snort, closing the dryer and grabbing the basket in one hand and the phone in the other. “Basically. And it’s been awkward-central ever since.”

  “That was almost a week ago, though.”

  “Yep.” I walk to the living room where Maize’s trying to roll from her back to her front. She’s
been trying super hard to roll over the past couple of days, and I think she’ll be able to roll all the way over within the week.

  “Okay, so aside from goody baskets and swords, what else is new? Any luck on the job searches?”

  I sigh, not wanting to think about it yet, but knowing I have to or I’m going to be without a job come this fall.

  “Yeah, well kinda,” I admit, sitting on the couch so I can start folding clothes. “Mr. Demry from Morgan County called for an interview, but I haven’t called him back yet.”

  “Are you serious? That’s great! That’s your dream school. Why wouldn’t you call him back?” I anticipated her questions, but I don’t know how to answer them without sounding like a fool. “You did your student teaching semester there. You’d be a shoo-in!”

  “Ugh, I know. That’s why I haven’t returned the call yet.” I groan. “Because I’m torn, Kat. I’ve wanted to teach for as long as I can remember, but then this job came along, and now everything’s different. I love it here, but I also miss home. Leaving means leaving all of this behind, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

  “Well, you still have time to enjoy being here before you’d have to leave, but if you don’t take the interview, the opportunity could pass you by.”

  “I know. I know. The thought of leaving Maize with someone else makes me sad.” I frown just thinking about it.

  “You mean, the thought of leaving John makes your goody basket tingle.” There’s a smile in her voice, but I can’t deny she might be right.

  I furrow my brows and hold back a laugh. “I don’t even know what that means, but yes, he’s partly the reason. I’ve been here for almost three months, and if I take the teaching job, I only have two months left. Eight weeks isn’t enough time.”

  “I’ve never heard you sound so uncertain before, Mila. You worked your ass off to get through college, and now you’re basically being handed the job to teach at the very school you want, so why are you letting doubt get in the way? I know you love Maize and being around the Bishops. They’re an easy family to love, but you might never get this opportunity again. Someone else will gladly take that position, and then you’ll always wonder about it.”

  Kat’s words ring true, but that doesn’t make the decision any easier. The thought of leaving brings tears to my eyes, but I knew coming here was only temporary. I hadn’t expected to get so attached to Maize, and I never imagined I’d have feelings for John. But the fact is, we aren’t in a relationship, and I have no idea where his head is about the two of us. Considering the kiss, the apology, and how we’ve barely talked leaves me with so much uncertainty about us.

  “I’ll call Mr. Demry back and see if the position is even still available.”

  “Good,” Kat praises. “I’d just hate for you to lose out on this. You’ve worked so hard for it. At least get the interview and then make a decision when one needs to be made.”

  A noise from the kitchen startles me, but then I remember I left the window open and wind probably knocked something over. “Okay, you’re right. As soon as I finish folding Maize’s laundry, I’ll put her down for a nap, and then I’ll call.”

  “Perfect. Text me after, okay?”

  “I will.”

  We exchange goodbyes, and I watch Maize play while folding the rest of the clothes. Once I’m done, I make Maize a bottle and take her and the basket of clothes into the room for her nap.

  “Alright, Maze. Your laundry is put away, which means it’s naptime for you,” I tell her sweetly as I take her into my arms. We rock in the rocking chair while she eats, and once she’s finished and fallen asleep, I lay her in the crib. “Such a sweet little angel you are.” I rub the pad of my finger along her soft cheek. Sometimes, I just look at her and think what a precious gift to this family she’s been and how much she’s already gone through in her short life. If those thoughts make me emotional, I can only imagine how it affects John.

  It’s then I realize why John is so hesitant to cross the line with me. He can’t just think about himself anymore, and I can’t be selfish to push those limits when he has a daughter to consider.

  Once I’m back in the living room, I listen to the voicemail once again and decide it’s time to do it. I have to think about my future, too, and even if it’s all unknown at the moment, I need to at least consider going for it.

  Taking a deep breath, I dial the number and wait while the line rings. Seconds go by, and I contemplate leaving a voicemail, but a man answers, greeting me with a polite hello.

  “Hi, this is Mila Carmichael calling for Mr. Demry. I’m sorry—”

  “Ms. Carmichael? Yes. I was worried we weren’t going to hear from you,” he says sincerely.

  “Yes, I’m so sorry for the delay. I’m in Texas at the moment and hadn’t realized I had a voicemail. The reception out here isn’t the greatest.”

  “Well, I hope we can schedule something. I’ve heard nothing but praise for your accomplishments and skills, and I think you’d be a great asset to our district. Your references couldn’t speak highly enough about you. I’d love to have you come in for an interview, and we can discuss everything. When will you be back in Georgia?”

  His words make me blush, and though I should be happy to hear it, I still feel insecure about all of this.

  “Well, I’m not sure. I’m actually working as a nanny right now, and I didn’t anticipate coming back until the middle of July. Is there any way we could schedule a phone interview, or do you need me to come there?”

  I chew on my bottom lip, waiting for his response. If I had to leave for a day or two, I’m sure it wouldn’t be an issue, and Mrs. Bishop could watch Maize, but I’d hate to put John out just in case she’s unable to.

  “Normally, I’d want to do a face-to-face interview but seeing that you did your student teaching here and you’re our number one pick for the position, I think a phone interview will suffice. We’ll have to schedule something maybe a week out, though, because it might take a couple of hours to get through everything. What do you think about that?”

  I smile, grateful I wouldn’t be missing the opportunity or have to fly home. “That’d be perfect. Thank you, Mr. Demry. I sincerely appreciate this.”

  “Excellent.” I hear the smile in his voice, and my nerves settle. “I’ll have my secretary contact you in the next day or two once I look at my schedule, and she’ll give you a couple of options for us to talk. Sound good?”

  “Perfect.”

  I thank him again before hanging up, and relief washes over me.

  This is exactly what I’ve been wanting, and it feels like it’s within arm’s reach now.

  Only, I can’t shake the feeling of disappointment as I think about what leaving means.

  I text Kat and my mother to tell them the news, and of course, they’re both ecstatic for me. I really want to be, too, and decide I’m not going to worry about it right now. I wouldn’t have to leave for another couple of months, so I have to enjoy my time here while I can.

  The afternoon flies by quickly as I do more cleaning and wash my own laundry before folding and putting it all away. Maize takes a nice nap and is ready to eat and play as soon as she wakes up.

  “Are you ready to try some cereal?” I ask in a high-pitched voice that always makes her smile and kick her chubby legs.

  Since Maize’s already five months old, I figured I’d try adding cereal into her routine, so she can get used to eating off a spoon and swallowing thicker textures. It might help her stay full longer between her night feedings, but that’s if she lets me feed it to her.

  “Vroooooooooom…” I mimic an airplane motion with the spoon in my hand and try to sneak it into her mouth before she clamps her lips together. “Did any even get in your mouth?”

  I scrape the side of her mouth with the edge of the spoon and try tricking her into opening her mouth for me again. “C’mon, Maize. Open wide for me.” She takes her fist and rubs it into her eye before covering her face. “Oh, so i
t’s gonna be like that,” I tease. “Stubborn just like your daddy.”

  Laughter echoes behind me, making me jump, and when I turn around, I see John standing in the doorway of the kitchen with a sexy-as-sin smirk on his face.

  “Jesus!” I hiss, resting a hand on my chest. “You nearly made me pee myself.” Maize’s giggling like this is the funniest thing in the world, and I realize she’s smiling at her daddy. She’s not the only one excited to see him, though.

  “Well…” He shrugs his shoulder, unapologetically. “That’s what you get for making my kid wear that god-awful onesie. You parading around in that jersey doesn’t help your situation either.”

  I roll my eyes and turn back to Maize. “He’s just a sore loser. Don’t listen to him. Rodgers all the way!” Grabbing her arm, I hold up her hand to give me a little high-five. “See…” I say over my shoulder, watching him as he walks closer to us. “She agrees.”

  “She doesn’t even know she has toes, so I don’t think she’s a reliable source,” he mocks, coming up to Maize and kissing her head.

  “Of course, she knows,” I say, disagreeing in a singsong voice, tickling Maize’s foot and squeezing her little toe. “She knows that this little piggy went to market…this little piggy stayed home…this little piggy had roast beef…this little piggy had none…and this little piggy went weeeeeee all the way home!” I grab each one of her toes and squeeze them as I sing.

  Maize giggles and smiles and lights up the entire room as I sing and laugh with her. John’s standing next to us with a big fat grin on his face, and for a moment everything feels right.

  “You know…” John begins, smiling as if he’s trying to hold back. “That’s a real morbid nursery rhyme.”

  I narrow my eyes at him in confusion. “What? How do you mean?”

  He grabs Maize’s big toe and wiggles it. “This little piggy went to market…” John looks at me with a raised brow. “And this little piggy stayed home.”

  “Okay?”

  “The first piggy goes to market. Like…the slaughterhouse. And the second piggy stayed home, who’s probably now a widow.”