“Babe,” he whispered into my open mouth.
Cradling my head, he took over the kiss, deepening it as he walked me backward. When the back of my legs hit the bed, I stopped.
He pulled back slightly and lifted his head. “Is the answer still a yes, Lotus?”
“Yes.” I nodded. Definitely, a yes.
“Thank fuck.”
Lowering his gaze, he slid my bag from my shoulder. As it hit the floor, he reached for the fastening on my overalls, unlatching one side and then the other. The bib fell to my waist. I shimmied my hips, and the rest glided to the floor.
He hissed.
“What?” I asked, and his gaze lifted, his eyes piercing and dark.
“You’re too perfect.” He placed his hands on the curve of my hips. “Incredible.”
He swept his thumbs over my skin, just above the waistband of my hot-pink cotton panties. His play callouses were deliciously rough against my smooth skin. Heat gathered and pooled in a certain spot just below his hands.
“Journey.” I stared at him, giving him truth. “I’ve never felt like this. I want you so badly, I’m shaking.”
“I’ll help you out of your clothes so we can do something about it. And you help me. I want you just as badly. We’ll get naked together, yeah?” he asked as he lifted his head.
A curl had fallen forward. Capturing it, I rubbed it between my thumb and finger.
“Soft,” I whispered. “So very soft.”
“Focus, baby,” he said darkly. “I need you focused on our goal.”
I watched his mouth curve, and my fingers had a new target. I traced his lips.
“Fuck,” he murmured. “Guess it’s gonna be me removing things, and you slowing me down.”
“I don’t want slow.” I found the hem of his tee and lifted it over his head. “Wow.” I ran my gaze and then my fingers over one intricate tattooed design, only to be distracted by another.
“Babe.” He covered my hand with his, pressing it against his warm skin. “You gotta stop. You’re killing me.”
“Not trying to.” I bit down on my bottom lip.
“Your not trying is part of the appeal.”
I searched his gaze, seeing only the truth. “I haven’t been with a lot of guys. Only one other.”
“I’ve been with a lot of women, but none like you.” He took both of my hands and brought them together on his chest. His muscles were hard, but his skin was smooth and incredibly warm. “None made me feel this. I didn’t even know it could be like this.”
“I didn’t either.” I peered up at him, drowning in the warmth of his eyes.
“So it’s new, like a first time for both of us.”
“Yes.” I liked that idea. I liked it a lot.
“Lotus,” he whispered. The way he said my name sounded like he liked that idea too.
Releasing my hands, Journey dove his into my hair and spread the length of it around my shoulders. My scalp tingled from his gentleness, and my heart raced from the intensity of his expression.
I went back to exploring. His skin was satin, his ink dazzling, the muscles beneath it like sculpted steel. “Your tats are amazing.”
“You’re amazing.”
He ran his fingertips over my breasts, along the top edge of my tube top. My nipples tightening, I stared at his bowed head, watching him and savoring his caress. Beneath the stretchy cotton, my nipples throbbed.
I glided my hands lower, over the ridges of his abdomen and the tiger with the sharp teeth that decorated it. Reaching his jeans, I unbuckled his belt, but stopped when I realized he was holding his breath.
“Breathe,” I said, lifting my gaze.
“Hard to, babe, when your touch sets me on fire.”
My lips curved. “I need you breathing.”
“I need you. That’s a fact.”
“I can see that.” Lowering my gaze, I unbuttoned his jeans. I traced his length as I slowly lowered his zipper. The rasp of it was loud, the only other sound our heavy breathing.
“You’re driving me crazy.”
Gently removing my hands, he took over. He sat on the edge of the bed, removing his boots and socks. I watched him lower his jeans and his black boxers at the same time.
When Journey’s cock sprang free, my mouth went dry. He was huge. Fully extended with a drop glistening invitingly on the blunt end.
I went to my knees in front of him, tapping his thighs. “Please.” I looked up at him and licked my lips.
“Babe, you don’t have to ask.” He spread his legs.
I shifted and took him in my hand, tracing the turgid length of him before I put him in my mouth. He was salty like the ocean, harder than I could have imagined, and he stirred in me a ravenous hunger. Unleashing it, I licked him from root to tip. His cock leaped, and he groaned.
“Enough.” He lifted me by my upper arms, twisted at the waist, and tossed me onto his bed.
I landed on my back, and he followed me. I gasped when he grabbed the bottom edge of my tube top and whisked it over my head. My panties were ripped off next. Before I knew what was happening, his mouth was on me, his lips and tongue on my clit, and his hands and fingers on my breasts. I praised him with shortened breaths and throaty moans.
“Look at me,” he said from between my legs, and I did, my head spinning at the desire I saw for me there. “You are so beautiful.”
“You are,” I whispered.
His gaze was dark, his passion making his handsome features stark. “My sweet Lotus.”
Lowering his head again, he bathed me with his kisses and swirled wet circles around me with his passion. I arched into his urgent mouth, and he kneaded the globes of my ass in his eager hands.
“Journey.” I sucked in a sharp breath. Greedy, I needed, wanted, demanded more. I was so close.
He lifted his head, and I noticed a shadow in his eyes when his gaze met mine.
“I can’t . . .” Pausing, he swallowed. “I can’t stop once I position. I’ll have to continue. This is the last time I’ll ask. Is it a yes?”
“Yes, please.”
He slowly smiled, the darkness in his gaze lifting. “Are you on the pill?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Good. I’m clean. I had to get tested before signing with the Skulls, and I’m always safe.”
He slapped his hand on a condom packet he must have put on the bed, tore it open, and rolled it on while I watched. Gripping my thighs, he spread me open and moved between my legs.
I moaned as he swept his thumb over me. My clit felt too tight, my body too tenuous to contain the powerful cravings his caresses unleashed.
“You’re so wet. So beautiful.” Finding my opening, he positioned his cock and entered me. Not slowly but masterfully, in one bold stroke that stole my breath.
“You feel so good,” I told him and moaned.
“You feel wonderful.” Journey stared into my eyes, watching me as he began to move, and his movement, where we were joined became everything.
I slid my fingers over his skin, the width of his shoulders, the length of his spine. When I reached the taut curve of his perfect ass, I squeezed hard as he drove into me.
His voice raspy, he said, “Lotus, so good.”
“I’m going to come.” Panting, I lifted my hips, straining for it.
“Then come.”
He drove into me harder, faster. Passion rose, hot and wild. My climax hovering just out of reach, I gripped his ass tighter. He slammed his cock into me deeper, synergy and mastery in his powerful thrust.
I dug my heels into the mattress, taking all he had to give, stroke after hammering stroke. It was so good. He was so good.
Waiting for him, wanting to come together, I went high and higher still. Until he drove deep one final time, stiffened, and groaned. I flew then.
Clinging to him, I let go of everything, all I’d previously known. He whispered my name, looking at me like I was a revelation. His revelation.
Journey and me together,
this was the closeness, the harmony with a man that I’d always wanted.
Lotus
WHEN I STEPPED out of the tiny bathroom wearing only a towel, Journey was waiting for me. His brown eyes warm, he cupped my cheek and brushed his thumb across my skin. A shiver rolled through me at the memory of what we’d done.
I’d thought that afterward the connection wouldn’t be as strong, but I was wrong. It was stronger.
“That feels really good,” I said, my voice husky. “When you touch me like that.”
“I’ll do that and more when I get back. I’ll be in and out of the shower quick,” he said firmly, his expression serious. “Don’t go anywhere.”
“Okay,” I said softly, wandering farther into the room after checking out his naked ass. It was as divine as the rest of him. The only part of him not tatted was the area his boxers covered.
I stepped over the ones he’d discarded and snagged his black muscle tee from the floor. Shrugging it on, I brought the collar to my nose and inhaled deeply. My nipples hardened, and my clit swelled. It smelled like him. I glanced at the closed bathroom door, hearing the water come on.
I wanted him again. I think he wanted me again too. Surely, that was why he wanted me to stay.
Smiling softly and curious, I scanned the room, noting things I hadn’t before.
A stack of music sheets and a steno pad with masculine scrawl were on his nightstand. An acoustic guitar rested in a stand in the corner, and a couple of guitar cases beside it were covered in colorful stickers that reminded me of his tattoos. Another surfboard in a protective bag leaned in the corner.
The furniture was sparse—a small table with two chairs by a sliding glass door with vertical plastic blinds, and another chair by the door that had a black leather jacket thrown over it. The only other item in the room was the bed.
My cheeks warmed as I looked at the bed, remembering what had happened in it. The sheets were white but rumpled from our activity. No coverlet.
There was a notable lack of color throughout the space. No pictures or photos on the walls. No mementos. No hints at the personality of the man who lived here except for the guitars, the surfboard, the plants, and the man himself.
“The apartment came furnished.”
I turned toward the sound of his voice, his rich baritone giving the space personality it had lacked, filling me with renewed heat.
“It’s nicer than you let on.” I swallowed. Hard.
Journey stood in an arc of light from the lone fixture on the ceiling, wearing only a white towel. A damp curl had fallen over one eye. The pirate comparison surfaced again in my mind, or maybe a Greek warrior, his toga gathered at his trim waist.
His brown hair glistened with droplets from his shower. It was mostly brown, except for a few lighter sun-streaked strands the color of honey. His broad shoulders capped his chiseled physique. His tats were a kaleidoscope of color that I imagined told as many stories as the stickers on his guitar cases.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he said, his voice deeper as he came closer, holding the towel. But even with it closed, his cock tented the front.
“Like what?” Desire crackling between us, I licked my dry lips. I wanted to lick, taste, and explore every inch of him. I wanted to trace each tat and listen to him tell me the stories behind all of them.
No, Lotus. I curled my fingers into fists, reminding myself that getting to know him wasn’t what this was. But the reminder didn’t remove the desire.
“Like you want what I want. Us back in that bed, repeating what we just did.”
“I do want that,” I said honestly, my eyes locked with his.
“In a minute.” He placed his hands on my shoulders. “We need to talk first. I have something I need to tell you. Something I probably should have told you before.”
That sounded ominous.
“What?” I asked as a cell rang. My cell.
Shit. I’d forgotten to check in with Sophia.
I snatched up my bag and withdrew my phone, not wasting time glancing at the caller ID before taking the call. Putting my cell to my ear, I said, “I’m sorry, Soph—”
“It’s not Sophia,” a familiar deep voice boomed.
“Oh.” My eyes widened.
His gaze narrowing, Journey moved toward me. For the first time, I took a step back, away from him.
“Saber,” I whispered into my cell, dropping my gaze and feeling guilty, although I had no reason to feel that way. “It’s late. What do you want? Is everything okay?”
“I know very well how late it is.” He sounded really pissed. “And no, everything is not okay. Where the hell are you?”
Shit. “Where are you?” I asked, my heart beating so fast, I could barely think over the pounding in my ears.
“Your hotel, looking for you. I ran into Sophia in the lobby. It took some doing, but she admitted you’re not in your room.”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you.” My spine snapped straight. “You shouldn’t have put her on the spot.”
My breath caught, and I looked up. Journey was staring at me, but he no longer looked concerned. He looked as pissed as Saber sounded.
“We broke up,” I said weakly into my phone, but wanting both men to hear me.
“We were on a break!” he shouted.
I winced, pulling my cell away from my ear.
“We were not on a break,” I said after returning my cell to my ear. I turned my back to Journey, but it didn’t help. I could feel his eyes on me, cold like an arctic blast.
Shit. Shit.
“We’re over,” I said firmly to Saber, though reiterating it brought tears to my eyes. “You know as well as I do that we’ve been going nowhere for a long time. You didn’t even remember my birthday.”
“I remembered. I’m here right now because it’s your birthday. As soon as we finished the single, I drove straight here to see you. Took for-fucking-ever. Traffic was terrible. Shield whined the whole time about the detour.”
“It’s a nice gesture, you coming to LA for me,” I whispered. “But it doesn’t change anything.”
It was too little, too late.
I was proud of myself for sticking to my decision, knowing in the past I might have caved and taken him back. Pre-Journey, almost certainly. Saber was practically a perfect boyfriend, and Cork adored him.
“It changes everything if you let it. If you come talk to me, we can fix this.” Saber blew out a breath. “Are you with someone right now?”
“Yes, I’m—”
I gasped as Journey snatched my phone out of my hand. My jaw dropping, I stared at him as he hit the mute button.
“Do not tell him you’re with someone.” He glared at me, his brows forming a deep crease between his eyes.
“But we—”
“There is no we here, darlin’. You got off. I got off. But playtime is over. It’s time for you to go, understand? I don’t want any part of the drama you’ve got going on.”
He thrust the phone back into my hands, his words and the sharp look in his eyes severing the tiny shoot of hope that had pushed its way upward through all the heavy shit that had buried it before, that had buried me.
“Lotus,” Saber said, his voice blasting into the heavy silence in the room.
Belatedly, I realized Journey had unmuted the call and put it on speaker mode. Why did he want to hear this?
Saber’s voice turned pleading. “Please give me another chance. I love you. You love me.”
A crash followed that declaration. I spun around, a hand to my throat where my pulse raced beneath my skin.
One of the macramé planters swung back and forth, but it was empty now. The pot that had held the violets was shattered. Jagged terra-cotta pieces scattered on the floor amid clumps of dirt.
“Okay, I’ll come back,” I said abruptly, ending the call.
Tears burning behind my eyes, I avoided Journey’s gaze as I went straight to the corner. Most of the pretty purple blooms were sep
arated from their roots. It was probably hopeless, but I had to at least try to fix the damage.
“You only fail if you stop trying.”
Remembering Storm’s words, I scraped all the potting soil I could find into my hands. Violets that had roots attached came next. My hands full, I turned, looking for a container, but before I could find anything, Journey raked the dirt and the flowers from my hands.
“Why—”
“Leave it,” he said curtly, and a tear spilled down my cheek as I glanced down at the remains on the floor. “It’s not salvageable.”
“Maybe I can—”
Shaking his head, he said sharply, “I don’t want you messing with it.”
“Journey,” I whispered, lifting my head only to see his entire body jerk like I’d struck him.
“Not Journey. I mean, this wasn’t right, what we did here.”
I jolted like he’d struck me. That hurt.
“It was a mistake,” he said, softer this time. “You’re with someone.”
Forcing my words out around the big ball of emotion clogging my throat, I said, “I’m not. I can explain.”
“No explanation necessary, darlin’.”
Journey’s expression was completely closed off. It was like what we’d done and the things we’d shared didn’t matter.
Had I been so desperate that I’d imagined it all? His thoughtfulness? Our connection? The caring?
“We had a moment,” he said, not meeting my eyes. “That moment is over. I told you how it would be before we started. You’re a big girl. You get that, yeah?”
Pressing my trembling lips together, I managed a nod, and he turned away.
Stupid. I was so stupidly naive. Journey was only a stranger that I’d cast in a leading-man role.
No matter how beautiful what we’d done had felt to me, it was only an illusion. Like a really good song, the emotions it evoked didn’t last once the music was over.
Lotus
INSIDE JOURNEY’S BATHROOM, I set my bag and the clothes that I’d hastily gathered on the pedestal sink. Trembling, I stared at my wide-eyed reflection in the mirror above it.
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