SinSatiable

by Shelia E. Bell

  “Yes, I do. Thank you, Jackson. Thank you so much.”

  “I’m just doing God’s will Aisha. Just doing God’s will.” He took hold of her smooth hands and gently helped her up to her feet. “Are you going to be all right?”

  “Yes, sure. I’ll see you next Thursday,” she told him as she walked out of his office.

  “Next Thursday? What about Sunday? You’ve come the last few Sundays and I expect to see you again this Sunday.”

  A slight smile filled her face. “Sunday it is.”

  As Chandler made his way along the winding hallway, several office doors were open. He saw several staff members busily working. He had never thought about the inside operations of a church but today he was getting a lesson in the behind the scene functions of a mega church. Approaching the other end of the hallway, and still saw no sign of Aisha, he was about to give up his search. Where could she have gone?” he pondered.

  The sound of the woman’s voice made him pause. “You have a good day too, Natalie,” the woman said. “Yes, I will be in church on Sunday,” and began walking in Chandler’s direction. As she made her way closer to him, he recognized her clothing and her walk and knew that it was indeed Aisha. Then as she approached him, he saw her. Without looking in his direction, she turned down the opposite hallway.

  Chandler walked to the office where Aisha had just come out of. Though the door was still open he could see the sign on it – Pastoral Care Offices. Chandler peeked inside at the woman sitting at her desk working on something at the computer. “Excuse me, miss.”

  Startled at the unannounced intruder, she jerked her head around quickly. “Yes, do you have an appointment?”

  “No, no, ma’am. But my, my uh fiancé was here and I was supposed to meet her after her session ended.”

  “Oh, well what’s your fiancé’s name?” Natalie asked, knowing that it had to be Aisha he was talking about since she was the first appointment of the morning.

  “Her name is Aisha. Aisha Carlisle, soon to be Aisha Green,” he smiled charmingly.

  “Oh yes. I didn’t know she was engaged. But anyway, you just missed her. Her session with Minister Williams just ended a few minutes ago. I don’t see how you missed her.”

  “Is that right? Oh well, let me see if I can catch her. She’s probably out on the parking lot waiting for me. Thanks for your help.” So she must be running scared and now she’s trying to make things right with God, Chandler thought. Poor baby, guilt must be eating her up, he snickered and proceeded down the corridor leading to outside. By the time he made it to the front of the church entrance, Aisha had disappeared.

  After saying goodbye to Natalie, Aisha had proceeded to walk down the winding hallway. She didn’t notice the gentleman at the opposite end of the hallway. She looked at her watch. She was glad that she had made plans to be with Tameria today. After today’s session, she needed some girlfriend time.

  CHAPTER 34

  Aisha maneuvered her car in and out of the morning expressway traffic. Arriving at the Kirby Parkway exit, she pressed speed dial button 7 on her cell phone to call Angie. Kaye, the geeky receptionist picked up and answered in an overly happy voice. “Good morning Miss Carlisle. Are you on your way to the studio?”

  “No, as a matter of fact I’m not. I forgot to let you know that I won’t be in until around three. The girls should be coming in around that time. Is Angie close by where I can talk to her?”

  “Yes, hold on just a minute. I’ll get her.”

  “Hi, Aisha, how did your appointment go this morning?” Angie didn’t know the details of Aisha’s weekly sessions but she assumed they had to do something with her father’s death. Angie waited on Aisha’s slow response.

  “Everything went okay, I guess. But what I wanted to tell you was that I won’t be in until later this afternoon. Tameria called last night and told me that her schedule is free today so we’re going to hang out.” Aisha explained.

  “Oh, good. I know you two don’t get the chance to see each other often. I tell you, when you get involved in the medical field, it’s a big sacrifice isn’t it?”

  “Yes it is. But you know Tameria loves it. That’s why I know she’s doing exactly what she’s supposed to be doing. I’m about to turn down her street now, so I’m going to hang up. I just wanted to let you know that you can reach me on my cell if anything comes up.”

  “Sure. See you later,” Angie was about to hang up the receiver but stopped when she saw the receptionist waving her hands and telling her that she needed to speak back to Aisha. “Aisha, hold up,” Angie squealed. “Kaye wants to talk back to you.”

  “What is it, Kaye?” Aisha asked as soon as she heard the girl breathing over the phone.

  “I almost forgot. Someone called for you earlier. A guy, but he didn’t want to leave his name.”

  “Is that right? What did he want?” Aisha asked with a puzzled look on her face. Turning into Tameria’s drive, she placed the car in park and opened the door while listening for Kaye’s response.

  “He wanted to know if you were back in the office.”

  “Back in the office? And he didn’t say who he was?”

  “Nope. When I asked him his name, he hung up. I looked on the office caller ID and it said unknown name – unknown number.”

  “It was probably some salesman wanting to sell me some more equipment or something. If anyone else calls, just put them into my audix. I’ll check it later.” Who was it that called and knew that I was out? Who could it have been? She thought about Chase, but why would Chase call her? Maybe it was Minister Williams. No, I just left him. Plus he would have left a message. Tameria opened the door and halted the guessing game playing in Aisha’s mind.

  “Good morning.”

  “Hey, Tameria,” she replied and stepped inside Tameria’s cluttered apartment. Walking over to her favorite chair Tameria had owned since high school, Aisha rested her butt on the arm of it. Tameria used to be the kind of person who kept everything in order, but since med school she was hardly ever home and the other free time was spent at Chase’s place. Aisha looked around at the medical books spread out over the sofa and floor.

  “I know. Don’t even say it. The place is a disaster but I’m off tomorrow too and I’ve already made plans to clean up this place from top to bottom. I can’t stand all of this clutter.”

  “I know that’s right.” Changing the subject Aisha asked, “What’s on the agenda for us today? If you want, we can stay here and I’ll help you tidy things up.”

  “No way! Off days from the hospital are far and few. I do not want to spend it cooped up in this apartment cleaning. I thought we’d go shopping and then have lunch. Whaddaya say?”

  “That’ll work. Let’s get out of here then.” Aisha pounced off the arm of the chair.

  ♦

  The two friends shopped until they dropped. Aisha bought a tangerine jogging suit, a diamond print DKNY mermaid skirt and two pairs of sling backs. Tameria couldn’t resist going into Victoria’s Secret. Aisha couldn’t believe it. Tameria was never shy or inhibited but she’d never guess that she’d want to get something out of Victoria’s Secret.

  “Tameria, I know you aren’t going to get anything in here,” Aisha leaned over and whispered. Tameria continued to browse through the undergarment section until she chose two pair of no-show panties and a fire red thong and bra set. Aisha was speechless but she refused to voice her say about Tameria’s choices.

  “Don’t start your criticizing, Aisha. I know you don’t want me to go there with you again.”

  “I wasn’t criticizing you. I was just going to say that you’re really flaunting your stuff aren’t you,” she managed to release a fake laugh.

  “How is buying panties flaunting my stuff, Aisha? You can never have enough bras and panties. That’s what my mother always said and working in a hospital emergency room, you better believe I’ve seen the worse of the worse when it comes to undergarments.” Tameria turned her upper lip until it cov
ered her nostrils. Without missing a beat she pulled out a couple more bras for her size DD breasts and happily went to the counter with her garments tucked safely in her hands. Aisha chose not to respond. While Tameria paid for her items, Aisha browsed through some of the lotions and oils.

  “Okay, on to the next store.”

  “Hey, let’s go inside that new store over there.” Aisha suggested. Quickly putting aside their near confrontation just a few seconds earlier, the two of them giggled when they saw a guy and girl pass in front of them holding hands, both with pink and blue hair.

  “Can you believe that?” Tameria turned her head and followed the odd looking couple with her eyes. “Love truly is blind.”

  “I just can’t believe they’re black. If they were white, I wouldn’t think anything of it ‘cause white people will die their hair green, orange and any other color without thinking a thing about it. But us? No way.

  “Yea, but wait a minute,” Tameria added and kept on laughing. “You know we can be ghetto fabulous ourselves. We’ll dye ours kool-aid burgundy and bleach blonde in a minute.” They were still laughing and chattering as they made their way over to the store. They searched through the sale items until they each found a pair of jeans they liked and shirts to match.

  With their bags in tow, their next stop was the food court. While munching on chicken nuggets and waffle fries, they people watched between bites. “So you’re telling me that you still haven’t heard from Chandler?”

  “That’s right. And I don’t want to either. Chandler said some cruel, disrespectful things to me the last time we talked. I refuse to go through that with him or any other man. Not to mention he lied about his profession. All the time I thought Mr. Right had come along and he turns out to be a liar and a skeezer. I guess he was using me all along so he could make himself look good. I think he thought he was going to catch me mixed up with those terrible men at The Lynx. But thank God, I didn’t know anything about it.”

  “You got that right. Instead of sitting here eating in the mall, you could have been serving time. You see why you need to get your life back on track? God has been far too good to you for you to keep on doing what you were doing. You need some help.”

  “Puhleeze, Tameria, don’t ruin the day. I don’t need to be preached to.” Aisha shrugged her shoulders and held her head down.

  “Preaching is exactly what you need. Have you still been using drugs? And tell me the truth too.” Tameria insisted. “I’m your friend but I’m a doctor too, and doing drugs can be not only addictive but deadly.”

  “I’ve started going to Cocaine Anonymous meetings at the church. Minister Williams convinced me to try it. I’ve been a couple of times. To be honest, once I got over the initial shame of walking into my first meeting, I’ve been doing okay. I haven’t had a hit of coke for four weeks and a day.”

  Tameria stood up and went over to hug Aisha. “I knew you could do it. You just have to take it one day at a time. I’m proud of you,” she said as she went back to her seat. “Sounds like Minister Williams has some influence, huh.”

  “You can say that. I think it’s the way he listens without making me feel worse than what I already feel for what I’ve done. He doesn’t look at me like I’m a terrible person. I feel comfortable talking to him. To be honest, I look forward to our sessions on Thursdays. I really do.” Aisha looked as if she were in a daze as she talked about Jackson Williams. Tameria noticed the sparkle in her eyes and the manner in which Aisha spoke about him. Maybe Aisha wasn’t aware of it, but Tameria could tell that Aisha liked Jackson Williams a lot.

  Tameria changed the subject. “Have you heard from your mother?”

  “I’ve tried talking to her but she’s so cold towards me. I don’t know what else to say or do. I love my mother and I’m sorry for so many things, Tameria.” Aisha’s voice dropped and Tameria detected her sadness.

  “Just give her time. She has her own burdens to bear too.”

  “That’s what Jackson, I mean Minister Williams said.”

  Tameria raised her eyebrows when Aisha called Minister Williams by his first name. So things are on a more personal level, Tameria thought to herself but acted like she hadn’t notice Aisha’s slip of the tongue.

  “He told me to give her time to come around because she’s still grieving. I just don’t know how much more time she needs though. I wish I could help her in some way. If we pulled together instead of apart, maybe Daddy’s death wouldn’t be so hard to deal with.”

  “Everything will work out. You’ll see.” Tameria reached over and grabbed Aisha’s hand and squeezed it. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” Looking at her watch, Tameria remarked, “Didn’t you say you wanted to be at the studio by three?”

  “Yeah,” looking at her watch Aisha added, “It’s one forty now. By the time you take me to your place to get my car and I drop off my clothes at the apartment, it’ll be close to three. So you’re right. Let’s go.

  The drive to Tameria’s afforded the two friends more time to talk and enjoy each other’s company. Tameria told Aisha that she’d met Chase’s parents and they loved her. Tameria said she couldn’t see herself spending her life with anyone else but him. Her cell phone rang and she looked down to pick it up and almost rear ended the car in front of her. Aisha tightly gripped the door handle. Tameria giggled and made smooching sounds in the phone. She was still talking to Chase when she turned off the I-240 exit on to Bill Morris Parkway Aisha used her time to dial her audix and retrieve her messages. She didn’t want to keep listening to Tameria’s side of her and Chase’s conversation.

  CHAPTER 35

  Jackson Williams positioned himself on his extra long blumarine sofa. He fluffed its pillows, stretched out then crossed his legs one over the other. He turned his big screen to channel 633 to watch the Memphis Grizzlies’ basketball game. Tonight they were playing against the Cleveland Cavaliers. He wanted to see if the Grizzlies could do a repeat of their last win against the Rockets. Normally he would be putting his season tickets to use by rooting for the Grizzlies in person at the FedEx Forum but the day had been a long, tiring one so he had made a hard decision to stay at home. He had counseled over ten church members today and attended the weekly youth meeting. He awarded two young men with his tickets for tonight’s game. They deserved it and Jackson wanted to show them how much he thought of them. Living in one of the worse areas of the city, the two young men had been involved heavily in drugs and gang activity. Both of them were high school dropouts who lacked parental influence and supervision. The Youth Program turned out to be their saving grace. During the past year, they had managed to make a 360 degree turn by giving up drug dealing and gang involvement. It hadn’t been an easy road for either one of them. There often were deadly circumstances when a gang member wanted out but it was God’s grace that had kept them safe. The gang was a small time neighborhood gang perpetrating to be as bad and as dangerous as some of the more notorious ones. Their bark however was far worse than their bite.

  The two youths had recently accepted Jesus Christ into their hearts. The difference in their personalities was remarkable. They attended the GED classes offered at Greater Faith and the Human Resources manager hired them at the church to work along with the sound engineer. When Jackson gave them the tickets, they were ecstatic and humble at their blessing. Jackson felt just as good, knowing he had brightened the life, if only for a moment, of the two young men.

  “Oooohhhh! He screamed when Gasol made a three pointer. At half time, he went into his modern kitchen and fixed himself a turkey burger on his George Foreman grill and added ice to his all time favorite drink, root beer. Returning to his spot on the sofa, the past week’s events flashed through his mind. When he landed on thoughts of Aisha, he put his mind on pause and gave himself permission to reflect on the woman who pricked his heart each time he was in her presence. She had no idea that he understood her hurt and pain. The relationship with his mother had been a strained one as well. He never wanted
to become an attorney like her. His mind was always focused on Jesus. Every time his father made a step toward their front door, Jackson was at his heels determined to go along. Unlike most children, any time the church doors opened he wanted to walk through them. Any and everything that had to do with God and church, Jackson yearned to be part of it. His father was thankful that his youngest son, Jackson loved the Lord as much as he did. Jackson’s father and mother often argued about all the time Jackson’s father spent away from home preaching, counseling, visiting the sick and doing anything he could to help save someone else’s soul from going to hell. She disliked it even more when he started taking Jackson along with him. The friction intensified in the couple’s relationship and after fifteen years of marriage, Jackson’s mother left his father. Jackson refused to move with her and his two brothers. Once it was made apparent how much he wanted to stay with his father, she relented and allowed him to remain with his dad. She had very little to do with Jackson and his father after that. It took years for Jackson to let go of the anger he felt toward his mother for walking out on him and his daddy. But once he did, he began to slowly allow her back into his life. She told him she felt like he chose his father over her. But Jackson wanted her to know that it wasn’t his father he chose over her, it was God and that choice was something he would never be sorry for doing. How could anyone be jealous of a man who was called to do God’s work? Jackson decided he would stop trying to answer that question and instead he did like God wanted him to do, which was to love his mother unconditionally and to forgive her.

  Sitting on the sofa taking small bites from his sandwich, he decided that at the next session he would share his story with Aisha. He wanted her to know that he truly understood some of her pain. She seemed to be doing better physically and mentally since she started attending Cocaine Anonymous. For that e was grateful. He noticed that the last time she came to his office, she looked much healthier. In the beginning he knew she was fighting hard not to let him know she was snorting cocaine. But he’d seen enough people on drugs to recognize that she was one of them. One of his close friends from high school was on crack back in Ohio. From what Jackson had heard from some of his other buddies back home, the guy was basically living on the streets and walked around begging for money to buy his next rock. Jackson had him on his long prayer list. Every day he called out the man’s name. He did the same when it came to Aisha. He believed with all of his heart that God had great things in store for her. Now he had to get her to believe it as well.