by Naomi Niles
And, I was absolutely determined to do so. I had myself worked up so much that I fully intended to rush into the bathroom to get it done before anything else could get in the way, but unfortunately, there was no chance of that happening. The house was absolutely full! Filled with people that were discussing the upcoming nuptials. So much for me having some time to myself.
“Danica,” Victoria, the wedding planner, called above the crowd. “Come here; I’ve got these new plans to show you.”
It took all that I had not to roll my eyes at her words. What the hell did she mean more plans? Were we not done by now? Wasn’t it far too late for making any changes?
“Yeah, sure, just give me a sec.” I needed to get this bag out of sight before anyone caught wind of it. “I just need to put all of this away.”
I ran up the stairs and panted breathlessly by the side of the bath for a few seconds. Did I have time to do the test now? Before I had to face anyone? But then I tried to imagine acting normal, knowing the truth, and I realized that I was going to have to wait until I was fully alone.
Tonight, I told myself. No excuses, I’ll do it tonight.
***
I didn’t manage to get into bed until about two in the morning, so I hadn’t even had the opportunity to even consider taking the test. It wasn’t an excuse; it just hadn’t been possible.
That didn’t mean that the worry had gone anywhere, though, it was still burning embers through my body, and in the end, it infiltrated my dreams so much that I sat bolt upright in my bed at about six a.m., desperate to find out the truth once and for all.
At first I listened intently, trying to figure out if I was the only one awake. It was difficult to tell the truth because my heart was hammering so heavily against my chest, but after a while, as soon as it calmed, a heavy silence rang out.
It was time. It was now or never.
I crept towards the bathroom, my entire body trembling with what was about to come. This moment could be life changing, and I still had no idea what the hell I was going to do about it. I still hadn’t managed to wrap my head around it yet, and I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be able to.
It might be okay, I tried–and failed–to convince myself. It might be nothing. But deep down, I knew what was going on with me.
As I sat on the toilet, feeling more alone than ever, I read and re-read the pregnancy test instructions until I was sure that I knew what I was doing. This wasn’t a position that I’d ever found myself in before, so it was a little overwhelming to say the least.
“Right,” I whispered, trying to ignore the wobble in my voice. “Let’s just do this.”
I did the dreaded pee on the stick and then I waited impatiently for the outcome.
Tick, tick, tick.
I forced myself to stand up and pace the room while I waited for the longest, most torturous three minutes of my life to pass. This was absolutely agonizing, and I couldn’t stop terrible predictions of my future to flick in front of my eyes.
Me, with a screaming baby.
Me, all alone.
Me, with absolutely nothing.
My heart was pounding, and I felt like I wanted to die. Then I decided that it was time. It had to be, that absolutely had to be three minutes. So I grabbed the stick and I found myself faced with the very familiar, blue cross. That could only mean one thing.
Positive.
The test was positive: I was pregnant.
The bile that had been swimming around in stomach came to the surface, and I was forced to hang my head over the toilet while I vomited like crazy.
“Oh, God,” I groaned to myself as the true reality of my situation faced me.
This can’t be. I’m pregnant!
What the hell was I going to do next? How the hell was I going to tell my mom? Especially after that long heart to heart that we had in the bridal shop. And, I couldn’t even think about Rhett’s face; it was just a joke.
I slumped my body back down on the cold bathroom floor, my mind whirring with all kinds of possibilities. I didn’t know how long I was down there, just pondering my mental situation, but after a while I began to hear other people stirring and I knew that it was time to move. I disposed of the test quickly in the garbage and raced back into my bedroom, where I intended to lie down for a little while longer.
But there was no hope of me getting back to sleep, not now. Instead I simply lay there and allowed the tears to free fall down my cheeks. I was in a right old mess, and I had no idea how I was going to even begin solving this. What could I even do?
By the time I decided to actually get out of bed and face the world, I’d made my choice about what I was going to do, or not do more to the point. I wasn’t going to tell anyone until the wedding was over–after all, no one needed that stress on top of everything else. I was just going to keep it to myself, and hope that the few days would allow my head to clear, letting me tackle it in a much calmer and more rational way.
I would just have to put it to the back of my mind for now and focus on the immediate. All I needed to do for now was get through this wedding without totally losing my shit. I would have to put on a brave face and put everyone else’s needs before my own. This wouldn’t last forever. I would only have to do this for a few more days.
It would be fine.
I just hoped to God that I have the strength to get through it.
Chapter Fourteen
Rhett
As my car pulled up outside my father’s home and I saw the damn mansion that he was living in, I felt a sense of aggravation and foreboding fill me up. I couldn’t help feeling like I really should be here, like I’d made a mistake.
I found myself cursing my mom for making me come here all over again. Why had I allowed myself to listen to her manipulation? When I thought back on my own tiny home, and the meagre existence that I’d been forced to grow up in, I couldn’t help but get angry.
Again, I was consumed by the sense that none of this was fair.
I sat in my car for a few moments, trying to pull myself together, before taking the plunge and going inside. I’d already told Dad the rough time that I would be arriving, and I didn’t want him to come out to meet me.
I wanted all of this to be on my terms, as much as was humanly possible. Brad Fronton was one of those commanding men that demanded attention and to be obeyed, and I wanted him to see that I was no longer one of those people that he could manipulate.
I just needed to get through this without killing that dickhead. I had my mission in mind, and as long as I kept that at the forefront of my mind, everything would be okay. I could bypass everything else, if I knew exactly what I was here for.
Just prove that he’s a douche bag, I reassured myself. Just get the evidence you need to support your feelings and all of this will be over forever.
I stepped out of the car into the cool breeze and made my way over to the front door. I debated whether or not I should knock, before just walking inside. This was my family’s home–I shouldn’t have to knock! Plus, I didn’t want to start this weekend off by being polite; I certainly had no intention of making any of this any easier for anyone, and I figured that I should start the way that I meant to go on.
Sure, it may have been a little petty and childish to have that attitude, but after everything that my dad had put me through, I didn’t know how else I could behave.
I stalked through the hallway, putting on as very confident front, when inside I was a mess. Anger was combining with anxiety in a very unpleasant way, and that was extremely difficult to keep off my face. I had to straighten my features more than once and keep reminding myself to keep them that way.
“Rhett!” I heard my dad yell out in a tone that I’d never heard fall from his lips before. It was as if he was actually pleased to see me. It even sounded less fake than all the other times he’d dipped in and out of my life with all of his false promises. He walked into the hallway as if he commanded the place–which I supposed he did.
“You’re here!” He stepped towards me as if he was going to wrap me in for a hug, but then he pulled back at the last moment as if he’d thought better of it. “How was the journey?”
“Fine,” I muttered, sounding a little like a sullen teenager. “Traffic wasn’t too bad.”
“Oh good, good.” The smile on his face was unnerving me. It felt like it had been there a little too long for my liking. “Well, we certainly have a lot to catch up on, and I’m sure that you have a lot of questions for me regarding the wedding.”
I didn’t like to announce that none of my questions were particularly wedding-related this early on, so I simply nodded sharply instead.
“Now, I think it’s time for you to meet Lyla and Danica, don’t you?” He smiled at me as he pushed the door to the front room open. I was in such a daze that I hadn't even paid any attention to his words; I just wanted this part over and done with as quickly. Meeting the bimbo who thought my dad was a good catch and the kid she had trailing at her feet was the last thing in the world that I wanted to do.
But it was all a part of it; I didn’t have any choice.
“Hello,” a warm, welcoming voice called out to me as a woman turned the corner. I was shocked to see that she was the complete opposite to what I was actually expecting.
She appeared to be in her early forties, around the same age as Dad, and looked like an independent, professional woman. She was about as far away from the needy airhead that I’d assumed she was as possible. She had brown hair tied up in a complicated chignon, which wouldn’t have looked out of place in a courtroom, and green, sparkling eyes that were full of life. She was a beautiful woman, much too good for my dad, at any rate. I supposed Brad was a handsome man, so I could see what she saw in him, but it was his insides that were ugly and rotten.
As she shook my hand, it hit me that this was one of the good ones, and I became concerned about my dad’s intentions. I didn’t want Lyla to get hurt in the same way that everyone else who crossed the path of damn Brad Fronton did. She didn’t seem like she deserved it at all.
A sickness swirled around inside of me as I realized that I was somehow a part of my dad’s game. He never seemed to do anything without an end goal, and it suddenly felt like his insistence that I be here made me just another pawn on his never ending chess board.
“H-hi …” I stammered, sounding a little like an idiot.
If Lyla suspected something about my odd behaviour, she certainly didn’t let it show. She breezed over it as if she was totally practiced at dealing with strange behaviour. “I’ll just go and get my daughter to come down the stairs; I know that she’s been dying to meet you.”
I could tell that she was lying by the tone in her voice. The kid probably had no idea who the hell I was. As Lyla left to go and get her child, my dad turned to face me once more.
Here it comes, I thought to myself. The moment where he warns me to behave or somehow reveals his true intentions to me.
A part of me wanted that to happen, so I would know where I stood. All of this acting like a different person was much too weird for me to even begin to wrap my head around. No matter what he did, I wouldn’t be able to trust him–I would always suspect that he was up to something, and I wasn’t sure he could ever change that.
But he did none of those things. Instead, he acted like a decent human being.
“So, are you looking forward to starting college this autumn?” He asked this so casually, it was almost as if I’d divulged this information to him myself, but I knew that I hadn’t. It had to have been Mom, probably trying to orchestrate some kind of common ground for us to build from.
“Yeah,” I replied quietly, trying to keep my true feelings hidden. “It should be good. Nice to have some direction, really.” I was almost daring him to criticize the casual way that I currently lived my life, but he didn’t. He was keeping up the façade no matter what.
“You’ll be much nearer then,” he smiled at me. “You can come and visit more often.”
“Sure,” I nodded, as if I was taking his request seriously. “That’ll be…nice.”
Before this terrible conversation could go any further, Lyla walking back into the room, completely shattering the tension. “Rhett,” she smiled at me, before moving to the side. “This is my daughter, Danica.”
My heart stopped. Absolutely stopped beating in my chest. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and judging from the shocked expression that crossed her face, neither could she.
There she was with the same long, blonde hair spilling down her back, the same piercing, blue eyes, and the same plump lips that I’d spent some of my summer days kissing. The girl that I’d fallen way too hard for.
It was Danica–my Danica–the one from Camp Woodtree. The one that I’d been desperately hoping would contact me for weeks was now stood here in front of me once more. Now I could understand why she hadn’t been in touch; she’d been swamped with all this insane wedding business and adjusting to a new family.
For a second, my heart soared with possibilities before it hit rock bottom once more.
Family.
Danica was about to become a member of my family. My stepsister at that. And, we’d had sex. We’d spent the summer fooling around, falling for one another, and now we were about to become a big part of this messed up family.
Suddenly, the ashen colour that had taken over her cheeks made a lot more sense. She’d obviously arrived at the conclusion that I had, just much quicker.
“Erm…hi,” she said, stepping forward to shake my hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Okay, it seemed like we were going with denial.
“Yeah, you, too.” I stared deeply into her eyes, trying to communicate all of the crazy emotions that were undoubtedly running through us both, but she kept her expression frustratingly blank.
I was going to have to get her alone at some point to discuss all of this. It was the only way.
Around us, Dad and Lyla discussed some of the wedding details, and although they kept trying to drag us into the conversation, neither of us were biting. I was desperately trying to draw Danica in, to see where her head was at, and she was pointedly ignoring me, as if she was trying to pretend that I wasn’t even in the room.
Eventually, she stepped backwards and made her excuses to leave. “I’m still not feeling too great, so I’m gonna head back to bed.” Her face reddened at this, as if she was embarrassed by her lie. “I’ll see you all in the morning.”
As I watched her walk away, my mission here changed. No longer would I solely focus on unravelling my dad’s plan–although I definitely still wanted to achieve that–I would also try and solve things between myself and Danica. Sure, things were very strange, but we could still be friends at least.
Couldn’t we?
Well, we had to at least talk–there was no escaping that.
“Yeah, I’m pretty tired, too,” I announced, as soon as she had vanished. “I had a long drive.”
“Your room is on the third floor, the first one on the left,” my dad said, as if the fact that he had three fucking floors was no big deal. “It shouldn’t be too difficult to find. Would you like me to show you?”
“No, no,” I insisted quickly, needing to be alone. “I’ll be fine, thanks.”
I scurried away before he could get the opportunity to follow me, and I raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Unfortunately, Danica was nowhere to be seen, which meant that she was already locked away in whichever room belonged to her. I clearly wasn’t going to get the chance to speak to her tonight, so I guessed that would have to wait.
As I lay down on the Egyptian cotton sheets, my brain was spinning. I kept teetering between happiness that I could at least see Danica again, regardless of the conditions, and horror at the situation that now faced us.
One thing was for sure, this was going to continue to be one hell of an insane summer.
Chapter Fifteen
Danica
As I sat on my bed, I felt sick all over again. My entire life was crashing around me, and I had no idea what the hell I could do about it. What a fucking mess!
I just couldn’t believe that I’d gone into the room to meet Brad’s son, to find myself faced with Rhett. If only he’d damn well called himself Rhett Fronton at Camp Woodtree, rather than Jones, I would have known right away to keep the hell away from him. But to find out in that way, it was absolutely unbelievable. If I hadn't been taken aback by his tall, muscular body, and those deep warm brown eyes that I’d spent my special week staring into, I might not have even believed that it was true.
Rhett, the guy who I thought I was falling for, was now more off limits than anyone else in the entire world.
Before, my problem was that I had a secret pregnancy and I couldn’t tell my family about it, and I didn’t feel able to contact the father to tell him the news, either. Now, I had just found out that the dad of my unborn child was inside my home, and that he was about to become my stepbrother.
How fucked up was that? How the hell was I supposed to comprehend any of it?
I felt absolutely sick to my stomach about everything going on around me. It was utterly unbelievable, like a horror film or something. It was totally gross and weird, and although we didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into at the time, it still made it all feel so wrong.
Or did he? Had he known? I got the impression that he didn’t get on well with his dad, so maybe everything with me was a part of his plan, his way of ruining the wedding.
But no, to be fair he had looked just as shocked as I felt as he saw me. He had no idea that he was coming into my home; he had no idea that he was about to see me.
Oh God, what a damn mess.
After a few moments, I could no longer hold any of my illness in, and I was forced to race to the bathroom to throw up all over again. I’d wanted to stay locked up in my room all night, so this unexpected burst out into the hallway was far too dangerous for my liking. But I had no other option–I didn’t want to be sick on the floor of my bedroom and have to clean it up afterwards. I was already under enough stress as it was.