I try not to let him see my fear. I put on a brave front, but inside I’m anything but. I don’t want to believe that he will leave me, and I can’t think like that right now.
“Chris, why do you hate Aiden so much? What has he done to you to make you this angry at him?” As I’m waiting for an answer, it hits me. “Oh man, did he date your sister?”
He throws his head back with a laugh. “My sister? Nah, I don’t have a sister.”
“Well then, did he date your ex?”
His jawline tenses and he closes his hand to make a fist. “Laura wasn’t my ex when Aiden went after her. He knew I was serious about her, but that never stops Aiden.”
I know I must look stunned. How can I not after hearing news that makes me think I don’t really know Aiden at all?
“How long have you known Aiden?” He touches my hand and I jump a little. “Alexis, are you okay? You look really pale.”
“No, no I’m fine.”
Just then the waitress comes with our food. She puts the baskets down, smiles, and bats her eyes at Chris. I roll my eyes. Can you be any more obvious?
“Are you jealous, Alexis?
I look at him. “No, are you kidding me?”
Even as I deny it, I have to wonder that same thing. Am I jealous and can’t admit it even to myself?
“Then why did it bother you when she gave me that flirtatious smile? Why did you look at her like that and roll your eyes?”
“Well, if you remember, I am the one who told her there was nothing between us.” I instantly want to take back my words when he looks at me with such hurt. “I am so sorry, but I think it’s better we just stay friends.” This time I reach for his hand. “Hey, you’re a very good-looking guy and any girl would be lucky to have you, but I am not the girl for you.”
“How do you know that, if you won’t even give us a chance?”
“Chris, you don’t know me. I have a lot of baggage and you deserve someone who is going to love you and only you.” I try to lighten the mood. “Eat your burger and fries before they get cold.”
He takes a bite of his burger and makes a sound letting me know he thinks it’s good. As I’m eating I look at him and think if I didn’t love Aiden so much, I could see myself with someone like Chris.
“I can see you looking at me. I know you feel it too. There is something there, you just won’t or can’t let it happen because of some misplaced loyalty you have toward Aiden. Do you really think he’ll be that loyal to you?”
I hate that on some level he is right.
“Answer me this. Do you even know where he is right now?”
“I—um, haven’t spoken to him today.” Suddenly I feel defensive. “Anyway, why do you think that’s any of your business?”
“I’m not saying it’s my business…” He looks me straight in the eyes and repeats himself. “Do. You. Know. Where. He. Is?”
“I said I haven’t talked to him today. I am not his keeper, nor am I trying to be. I know what there is between us, and I know the person he is when he’s out of public view. I know the real Aiden Steffan.”
Chris lets out a laugh and shakes his head. It makes me feel angry at Chris, at Aiden, but mostly at myself for allowing all of this. I don’t know if I’m really telling him everything because it’s the truth or if I’m just trying to reassure myself.
“I think this dinner is over. It’s time for me to go home.” I stand to leave, but Chris catches my hand. I can see the plea in his eyes.
“Alexis, don’t leave like this. Let me get you home. I don’t want there to be any tension between us.”
“Okay, Chris.” I let out a deep breath and relax. “But just so you know, and please try and understand, if we are going to be working together there will have to be some boundaries.”
He smiles and his eyes light up. “I’ll take what I can get…for now.”
We both laugh and I say, “You are incorrigible.”
“Yeah, but you love me.”
“Oh, whatever.” I playfully slap his arm, then sit back down and take another bite of my burger.
We finish our meal and are about to exit the pub when the waitress who has been eyeing Chris all night comes up to us—or should I say him—and asks to speak with him a minute. I tell him to go ahead. I dig out my phone from my purse and feel a lump in my throat when I see there is still nothing from Aiden. How can he go from hot to cold in a matter of twenty-four hours?
Not realizing Chris has come up behind me, I jump when he touches my elbow.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. It looks like you were in deep thought, huh? Anything I can help you with? I can be a very good friend to talk to.”
“I know, Chris. I’m fine, just tired is all. It’s only Tuesday and I feel like it’s been a long week already.”
***
We exit the building and go onto the street. Chris is about to hail a cab, but I reach for his hand. “Do you think we can walk? It’s just that I really love the way the city sparkles at night.”
“Sure, I would love to take a stroll with you.” I give him a look that says Do not start again. “I’m just saying it will give us time to talk some more so we can get to know each other. That’s all, okay?”
The lights of Central Park sparkle. It’s a wonderful August night, still warm but not as hot as it was in the summer months of June and July. The cool breeze feels just right for an evening walk. We take our time and enjoy the fresh air. I turn and see that he is watching me out of the corner of my eye.
“What?” I ask, turning to face him.
“Oh, nothing. It’s just that you said you were tired and wanted to get home, you couldn’t wait to get out of there, but now you want to walk.” He shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair. “I’ll never understand women. You say one thing, then you do the complete opposite.”
I bump his shoulder with mine. “It’s just that I love this city at night and sometimes a walk helps to clear your head.”
Chris looks at me, then asks, “Why would you need—”
“Don’t be a hero, unless you want the bitch to get it in the head.”
The man’s voice startles us both. Cold metal pushes into the back of my head. I know in my gut by his words and the feel of it that it’s a gun.
“All right, here. Take my wallet, but please don’t hurt her.”
My heart is beating so fast and I shake with old, ugly thoughts that are coming back to my mind. I want to run but know it will be useless, plus it would put us in more danger. I start to silently pray. Please, not again. I can’t go through this again. I try to not tremble too much while talking to the man, but fail miserably.
“Please, take whatever money you want but don’t hurt us.”
He lets out a low, hoarse laugh. “Oh, I will take whatever I want.” He uses the tip of the gun to move my hair to the side. His hot breath on the back of my neck sends shivers down my spine, and the smell of it is making me nauseated.
“Oh god, please don’t touch me.” Suddenly I regret saying those words as they make Chris react. Before I can stop him, he turns and tries to grab the gun, but the man hits him on the side of the head with its butt. It’s with such force that the blow not only knocks him out, but also cuts him badly. Chris is bleeding and I try to catch him before he hits the ground. I’m not strong enough so we both go down. I’m on top of him, holding his head, pleading.
“Chris, wake up, please.” Too afraid to look up at the man, I cry and tell him take my purse and wallet. “Please just go. Leave us alone.”
I hug him with both my arms and plead, rocking us. “Please, Chris, please. Chris, please wake up.”
I don’t even realize the man has left until a policeman stands over us, asking if we’re okay.
“No, we are not okay, can’t you see that he’s hurt badly?” At the moment I don’t care if I sound rude, I just know that Chris could be dying in my arms. “He needs a hospital. Please help us.”
The officer ra
dios for help and asks me to move aside so he can take a look. I don’t want to let go, but he says, “Please, miss, I need to see if I can help him until the ambulance gets here.”
I reluctantly let go so the officer can take care of him, but I cross over to Chris’s other side and bend down to hold his hand.
“It will be all right, Chris, just hold on.”
Blood gushes down the side of his temple. I immediately picture Erik lying on my lap, smiling up at me, reassuring me that he will be okay, that everything will be fine. Before he closed his eyes for the last time. I am breathing hard and fast. My chest feels tight. I squeeze his hand, whisper into his ear.
“I am right here, Chris. Open your eyes. Please?”
I lean my head down to his face and very gently kiss his lips. He moans and slightly moves, and I start to cry again, but tears of relief.
Again, he moans and then puts both of his hands on his head. “What happened?”
The officer, whose name tag reads Martinez, says, “Try not to move, sir. Help is on the way.”
Chris suddenly jerks his body. “Alexis! Where is Alexis?”
“I am right here, Chris. Listen to the policeman. Don’t move. You were hit with the end of the gun.”
“Oh, it feels like I was hit by a train. My head hurts. I feel dizzy.” He looks up at me with concern, with worry. “Are you okay, Alexis?”
“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Just stay still. The EMTs are on their way.”
Relief washes over me, and yet I’m still shaky. I cannot hold back the tears anymore. The floodgates open wide and I hug him so tight.
“Oh god, Chris, for a minute I thought you were dead.”
We can hear the sirens getting closer now, and then they come to a stop. EMTs swarm him. One says, “Please, ma’am, you have to let us tend to him.”
“Okay…” I stand back, swaying with sudden lightheadedness. Officer Martinez comes and leads me to the ambulance. I lean into him for support. He helps me get into the back of the vehicle and one of the EMTs comes to check my vitals.
“I’m fine. I just got scared is all.”
“Ma’am, just let me check you out so we can be sure.”
Once he checks and gives me the “all is good,” he goes back to help bring Chris in on a stretcher. When they load him in, one EMT goes around to the front and the other one tends to him. In a matter of seconds we are off to the hospital.
***
I start screaming at the top of my lungs. “No, no, please! You can’t die on me. Please I need you, Mom! Dad, Erik, please! You can’t be gone!”
“Lexie, wake up.” I open my eyes and look around, wondering where I am for a brief moment. Then I remember. “You were having a nightmare.” Chris is lying on the hospital bed in what will be his room for the next couple of days. He stretches his hand out to me. “It’s okay, it was just a bad dream.”
“I wish that is all it was, but it really did happen.”
“What? What are you talking about? Are you saying your parents are dead? Who is Erik? Hey, you can talk to me. You know that, right?”
I rub my eyes with both hands and try to bring myself back to the here and now. Try to shake the nightmare off, if that’s at all possible. “I know, Chris.” I go to look out the hospital window. It’s still dark out. Then I turn my face back to him. “You need your rest. That was a really bad blow you received to the head. Go to sleep, I’m not going anywhere. When you wake up in the morning, I’ll be right here. I promise.”
“But what about you? You need to go home and get some rest too. What about work? Aren’t you going in to work tomorrow?”
“No. I called Michael and told him what happened and that I wasn’t coming in. He said not to worry about it. He’s just happy that we’re both fine. Now go to sleep, Chris, so we can both get some rest.”
“Okay, but can I ask you something first?”
I let out a breath and say, “Fine, but just one question. Then you have to close your eyes for the night, okay?”
Chris smiles. “Sure thing, Doctor Moore.”
I smile back. “Well, if I was your doctor, I would have given you something to knock you out already.”
We both laugh. “Ouch, my head hurts.” He holds his head.
I stand. “Oh, are you okay? Do you want me to get a nurse?”
I’m about to push the call button, but he catches my hand. “No, no. I’m fine. Sit down and listen to me.”
Once I’m sitting down he asks, “Did you kiss me?”
“Ummm, I—Chris…” I look everywhere but at him, trying to think of a good answer or at least a way that I can explain it to him.
“It’s a simple question, Lexie. Did you kiss me?” He seems to be getting frustrated as the seconds go by and I still don’t know how to answer his question. “Oh my god, can’t you just give me a straight answer? Is it so hard to say it?”
“Yes! All right. Yes, I kissed you, but it was a mistake. I am so sorry. It shouldn’t have happened. It was—it was an accident. Something that shouldn’t have happened. A spontaneous reaction to what was going on at that moment. I was so scared. I thought you were dead. I just couldn’t handle it if you died trying to protect me, and I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am.”
He sits up, giving me a look of disbelief. “Nah, don’t give me that bullshit. That’s a lie and you know it. I think you did mean to do it, and that it meant more to you than you’re willing to admit. Damnit, why are you fighting it? Why are you trying to push me away?” His body tenses as he tries to sit up, maybe hoping that would get his message across more effectively. “There is an attraction between us, one you cannot deny. I feel it and I know you feel it too. I saw it in your eyes when the waitress was coming on to me. If you didn’t feel anything for me, it wouldn’t have bothered you that she kept batting her eyes at me. Lexie, I saw how you reacted. Tell me that I am wrong. Tell me, and I won’t ask you again. Tell me!”
“Calm down, you don’t want to cause your stitches to rupture.”
“I’ll calm down when you start being honest with me, and with yourself. What is it, some sense of misplaced loyalty to a man who is going to end up hurting you in the long run? Do you feel like you owe him something? What kind of hold does he have on you? For god’s sake, woman, open your eyes before it’s too late.”
I can see that he is getting frustrated. I don’t want him to attempt to get out of bed just to get his point across. I have to calm him down before he causes himself more harm. “Chris, you don’t want a nurse to come in because you are shouting too loudly, do you?” I stand and place my hand over his to try to reassure him that I am here for him. He looks down at them, then back up at me, and I quickly let go.
“Yeah, tell me again how you don’t feel anything for me. Tell me that you don’t feel what is happening between us. That you don’t know in your heart that this thing between us feels right, feels good.”
Rubbing the back of my neck with both hands, and turning my head from side to side, I let out a deep sigh.
Chapter 18
“Chris, I can’t handle this right now. It’s been a long night for the both of us. We’re both still on edge, and god knows we are both really tired. You got a bad cut on the side of your head that required a lot of stitches, so please just go to sleep. We can talk about all of this tomorrow when we’ve gotten some rest and can think more clearly. The police will be here first thing in the morning to take our statements about what happened. They wanted them tonight, to question us both, but I told them they would have to wait till then.”
“Fine, but just so we’re clear, we will pick this up again.”
As I’m fixing the blanket for Chris, suddenly the door swings open and there he is…the most gorgeous man on the planet. He’s dressed in a tuxedo that was tailored just for him. He stands there looking between Chris and me, and even though I am tired, frustrated, and angry at him for not calling me or even answering my text, I can’t help but admire the sight of him. Can’t he
lp but feel some sort of relief that he’s here. I would like to just run into his arms and feel safe, as only he can make me feel, but at the moment I also want to know why the hell he’s wearing a tuxedo.
“Alexis, I came as soon as I heard. What happened to you? Are you all right? Why didn’t you call me, and why are you in here?”
I put my hands up. “Aiden, stop. I’m fine, really. I’m okay. The doctors checked me out and said I was just shaken up, nothing more.”
He closes the distance between us and wraps his arms around me. “Then let’s get you home. You shouldn’t still be here; you need to be in bed resting.”
“No, please stop. I can’t leave. I need to stay here with Chris. He was hurt protecting me. I don’t know what would have happened to me if he hadn’t been there.”
Aiden turns his attention to Chris and walks over to the bed. He puts his hand out and says, “Thank you for protecting my girl.”
“I didn’t do it for you. I did it for Lexie because I care about her, because I want to keep her safe.”
Aiden drops his hand. There’s tension in his jaw and I can see the twitch he gets when he is angry. “Yes, well, since I’m here now, she will be safe.” Turning to face me, he puts his hand on my elbow. “Come, Alexis, I need to get you home.”
“No, I said I’m staying here with Chris. Besides, the police will be here first thing in the morning to take our statements. You can go home. I’ll be fine, and I’ll just talk to you tomorrow.”
Aiden lowers his voice, giving me a dark, hooded look. “Can we please talk about this in private? Let’s go to the waiting room and we can sit and talk. Please?” He takes my hand to lead me out.
I turn to Chris and say, “I will be right back. I’m not going anywhere, I promise. Close your eyes and go to sleep.”
Out Of The Dark Page 14