Out Of The Dark

by Arlene Gonzales

  Trying to switch topics, I say, “When you got home earlier you said you had some news, and by the way you were smiling it looked like it was good news.”

  “Okay, well, I went for an interview with this little magazine. You might have heard about it. The name is Glamour.”

  I look at her with wide eyes. “Go on.”

  “The interview went so great that I got the job.” She shrugs her shoulders, and lets out a squeal in delight.

  “Way to go, Shannon! Oh man, wow! I’m so happy for you, but I didn’t even know that you were looking for a job…” Suddenly I feel so guilty. I’m always talking to her about my problems and what I’m going through so that I never stop to ask about her life. It’s like I’m the worst person in the world, the worst friend and sister. I am ashamed of myself. “I am so sorry. I need to start thinking about you too. Just like you take care of me, well, I need to start taking care of you, but I promise to be a better friend—sister—from now on.”

  “It’s okay. You’ve been through more than most people, and I know you love me.”

  “No, it’s not okay. I can’t keep throwing all my troubles or problems at you and not be here for you as well. But from now on things are going to be different. We need to celebrate this weekend. Let’s go out…drink, dance, and be happy. The three of us, or if you don’t want to join us, Aiden, we could make it a girls’ night out.” I look at him for an answer.

  Shannon chimes in. “Yeah, Aiden. So are you in or out?”

  “If you want me there, I would love to dance the night away with you. Yes, count me in.”

  Aiden’s phone rings. He pulls it out of his pocket. Looking at the screen, he says, “I have to take this.”

  After he walks out, Shannon starts to tell me all about her new job. “I’m going to be the assistant to one of the fashion editors. Marilyn Reese. She’s known as Tiger Lady because she’s a force to work with. I’ll help put together photoshoots, set up the wardrobe, and handle the new line of clothes hitting the runway.”

  “Oh, Shannon!” I hug her with all the love I feel for her. “I am so sorry I haven’t been there for you the way that you have for me, but like I said, things are going to change for the better.”

  “It’s okay, Lexie. Like I told you before, you’ve been through a lot.”

  “No, it is not okay, but it will be from now on.” We hug and I say, “Let’s go see where Aiden is so we can eat.” As we’re walking out of the bedroom, I turn to her. “Hey, Shannon, I love you all the way around the world and back again.”

  “Me too, Lexie. All the way and back again.”

  ***

  Thursday morning I get to the office, put my things away at my desk, and tell myself I have to get a new phone during lunch. I also have to call Chris and check on him. I start up my computer, wanting to jump right into work. I go to the break room to get my coffee to try and wake up. The first night sleeping at Aiden’s…well, I didn’t sleep much. The man is truly a sex god, a well-oiled machine with no “off button.” He keeps going and going, on and on. I make a mental note to start taking vitamins to keep up with him. The thought makes me smile.

  “I am glad to have you back. I don’t know what has you smiling, but hey, whatever works. Keep it going!”

  I have let out a little laugh. “Michael, I didn’t hear you come in. Sorry about yesterday…”

  He puts his hand up. “Stop. You have nothing to be sorry about. I am the one who is sorry that you and Chris were mugged, and even sorrier that Chris was hurt. I’m just glad that he wasn’t injured worse and that you were not physically harmed. Are you sure you don’t want to stay home another day? I would understand.”

  “No, I need this to distract me. Right now, the last thing I want is to be at home thinking about it. Work is just the thing to keep me sane.”

  He looks at me then says, “Work and whatever had you smiling like that.”

  I laugh again. “You have no idea how right you are there.”

  I get back to my desk to tackle a new client and silently thank the heavens she is a female comedian. I start the usual paperwork for the file and see to the schedule.

  “Hey, Alexis.” I look up and find Julie standing in front of my desk. “Are you all right? I heard what happened. It’s just awful that you had to go through something like that. If you need to talk, I’m here for you.”

  “Thank you, Julie. I’m fine, just a little shaken up.”

  “Okay, well, I will be at my desk if you need me.”

  All through the day everyone comes in to see if I’m okay and to say how sorry they are.

  By the time noon rolls around, I’m thankful to get out of there for a while. At least that way nobody can ask if I am fine. As I walk out onto the street I feel the heat right away. It’s almost September but still hot. I start my way to the phone store to get my replacement and notice the gray SUV following me, not too close but enough for me to see it. I get an uneasy feeling. Maybe it’s the man that mugged us. Maybe he wants to hurt me, or worse, maybe he wants to kill me. But would the man that mugged us be driving a Bentley? If he has money for a car like that, then why would he have to steal from people? Maybe he paid somebody to take me out. Okay, stop it, Lexie. You are thinking crazy stuff. But then my fear turns into something else. It turns into anger. I am tired of being the victim.

  Before I realize how stupid it is, I round the street corner to set my own trap. When the SUV comes around the corner, I run up to the driver’s side window and bang on it. The vehicle comes to a sudden halt and the door opens up. The driver gets out and I stop dead in my tracks. I recognize Anthony right away—Aiden’s chauffer-slash-bodyguard.

  “Why are you following me, Anthony? You scared the shit out of me. And whose Bentley is this?”

  “I’m sorry, Ms. Moore, but I had strict orders not to let you out of my sight. The Bentley is, of course, Aiden’s.”

  I look at him. “Of course. So he has three, or are there more?”

  “No, ma’am, just three.”

  I am really pissed off now. I cannot believe that he is having me followed. “Why, Anthony?” I ask, giving him a look that lets him know I mean business.

  “Ms. Moore, he just wants to keep you safe.”

  I hold up my hand. “He can’t just keep making these decisions for me without letting me in on them. I could have called the police and gotten you arrested or who knows what else. Look, I’m sorry. I know it isn’t your fault, Anthony. I’ll talk to Aiden about this when I get home.”

  I suddenly realize what I have just said. When I get home…I can’t help but smile a bit, but I also feel embarrassed because I am just a guest. It’s not my home. “Anyway, I’ll deal with him later, but right now I just need to get to the cell phone store to get a replacement. I am not mad or upset with you in any way. I know that you’re just doing your job.”

  I walk into the store and get my phone. When I see the SUV waiting outside, I get in and say, “You might as well give me a ride back to work, since you’re going to follow me anyway.”

  ***

  When I get back to work, I’m ready to call Aiden. As if on cue, my phone starts to ring and his name appears on the screen. Instead of saying hello, I ask, “Why are you having me followed, and why didn’t you tell me or even ask how I would feel about it?”

  “Alexis, you know I will do whatever I have to do in order to keep you safe, and yes, you are right. I should have let you know so that you would not get scared. For that I am sorry, but I will not apologize for wanting to keep you safe. I have been waiting for what seems like a lifetime for you, and I won’t take a chance on losing you now. As I said before, you are everything to me, Alexis, my whole world. If I lost you I would have no reason to go on.”

  Hearing him say those words make me feel loved and safe, and I can’t be mad at him, not when he seems so open and honest. Even though he still has not said the words, I know without a doubt that he loves me as much as I love him.

  Chapter 2
1

  I am silent for too long. “Alexis, are you still there?”

  “I love you, Aiden, and I know that you love me. I will wait till you are ready to say the words, but please don’t make me wait too long.”

  I hear the smile in his voice. “You are my light, Alexis. I will see you when you get home. Anthony will be there to bring you.”

  We hang up and I sigh to myself. Hmmm, when I get home…He said when you get home and that brings a bigger smile to my face. I sit down to work again. I can’t wait to get home to Aiden, but then I remember I need to call Chris. I pick up the phone, feeling guilty for not getting a hold of him sooner.

  Once it’s on the fourth ring, I begin to think he won’t answer, but then I hear his deep, silky voice.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Chris, it’s Alexis. I’m sorry I haven’t called sooner, but I’ve been really busy trying to get back in the swing of things here at work. Plus, I wanted to let you get some rest before I called you.”

  “I went to your apartment to check on you, Lexie. I was worried about you as well, but when I got there you were nowhere to be found. Then I really started to worry, so I called the police to see if they knew where you were, and they informed me that you were staying somewhere else.”

  “I’m staying at a friend’s apartment.” Why did I just lie to him? I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of, so why didn’t I tell him the truth?

  “At a friend’s apartment? Really, Lexie! Is that the best you can come up with? If you don’t have anything to hide, then why can’t you be honest with me and just come out and say you’re staying at Aiden’s place?”

  I am quiet for too long, trying to figure out what to say or how to say it. How to say what needs to be said.

  “Yeah, the police told me that you were staying at your boyfriend’s home.”

  “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to cause you any more pain then necessary. You know that I am with him, and that I love him. That is not going to change, and you need to accept it.”

  He starts to yell and it startles me. “He does not love you! He will hurt you, Lexie, and you deserve better than that. I would never hurt you, and I am exactly what you need, but you can’t even allow us a chance because you are blind to the truth.”

  “You don’t know him. I’m sorry that a long time ago your girlfriend hurt you, but you need to get over that before it eats you up alive.”

  “Alexis, the night that we were mugged…did you find out where Aiden was?”

  “Oh god yes, yes I did. Chris, he was at a fashion event. He was the guest speaker; it had been planned for a long time so he could not back out of it.”

  “Do you know who he was there with? No, I’m sure that you don’t. I mean, of course he wouldn’t tell you that little bit of information. Why didn’t he invite you to go with him? Dinner dates change all the time at a moment’s notice, so tell me who do you think he was with? Do you know?” He yells again, “Tell me who was he with!”

  “I don’t know, okay?”

  “Well, let me tell you. It was Carla Hernandez.”

  I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. “What? How do you know? It’s not true. Why are you telling me these lies? Why do you want to hurt me like that?”

  “I’m not the one who wants to hurt you, and believe me I take no pleasure in your pain, but you have to know the truth before it’s too late, before you’re in too deep. Before he keeps hurting you. Before you give him your whole heart.”

  I sink down into my chair, telling myself it is already too late. He has my whole heart, every little piece of me.

  “I have to go, Chris. I—I will check on you later. Take care.”

  “No, Lexie, wait!”

  I end the call before he can finish. I feel sick. I leap to my feet and go to the women’s restroom. As soon as I make it into one of the stalls, I throw up everything I have in my stomach. I’m startled when Julie asks if I am all right. In the rush to get here, I didn’t see her in the hallway.

  “Yeah, I just got a dizzy spell. Probably from the heat. Plus, I didn’t have time to eat. I’m fine now, just need to get back to work.”

  When I get back to my desk there is a big bouquet of red camellias, just like the ones he sent me on that very first day we met, the day my world changed. I open the card.

  Sei La Mia Rosa -you are my rose.

  I put the card back into the envelope and shove it into the purse that Shannon lent me, which reminds me that I have to go shopping for a new one of my own. I take a big sigh and say it over and over in my head like a mantra: You have to stop being a victim. Stand up for yourself, take control of your life. How do I do that when the man that I have given my whole heart to, every little piece of me, keeps giving me mixed signals? I don’t know which way is up or down with him. One minute he needs me and cannot be without me, the next he is pushing me away, lying, or only giving me half-truths. I know that I need to talk to Aiden, but right now I need to focus on my work. I dig into the file of our newest client, the comedian, and pull out her profile so I can see her picture and find out more about her. Her name is Lisa Smythe. She’s a petite woman who has blonde hair in a short bob, an amazing smile, and green eyes. She’s thirty years old. I like the way she looks.

  I busy myself and the day goes by quickly.

  ***

  As soon as I step out into the hustle and bustle of the city, I feel the same energy that I get every day living here, but now there is also a new feeling of awareness that hits me. I turn and look at everyone and everything. Then I spot the gray Bentley. Anthony gets out and opens the door for me.

  “Good evening, Ms. Moore.”

  “Hello, Anthony.” I slide into the car.

  He closes the door and goes around to the front, checking the side mirrors before taking off. My stomach is in knots and I feel myself tense. I don’t want to see Aiden right now, not when I know he lied to me yet again.

  “Anthony, please take me to my apartment and not to Mr. Steffan’s.”

  He looks at me through the rearview mirror with a concerned expression. “I am supposed to take you to the penthouse. Aiden will be very upset if you go back to your apartment, since they haven’t caught the man who held you up at gunpoint. He just wants to keep you safe.”

  I’m glad that even though he is reluctant to do so, he still drives in the direction of my apartment.

  “Well, right now I don’t care if Aiden will be upset. Maybe he should stop lying to me, then.” I feel bad. “Look, Anthony, I’m truly sorry. I know you are just doing your job and none of this is your fault. I’m not mad at you and I’m sorry for putting you in the middle of all of this, but please just take me to my apartment. I will make sure Aiden knows that you tried to talk me out of going back home.”

  I quickly send a text to Shannon, letting her know what I am doing. Not even a minute after I hit the send button, my phone rings.

  “Before you start, let me explain, please.”

  “Okay, Lexie, but it better be good. I mean, are you out of your mind? When Aiden finds out he will be very angry. He’s trying to keep you safe…”

  I interrupt her. “Us…to keep us safe, Shannon. Both of us, remember that, because he knows how much you mean to me.”

  Her voice is calmer. “Talk to me, Lexie.”

  “He lied to me again, Shannon. The night we got mugged he was at a fashion event…that part he told me, but what he didn’t tell me was that he was there with Carla, and now I know her last name. Hernandez. Carla Hernandez. How am I supposed to trust him when he can’t even be honest with me? That was the model I told you about, the one who was all over him at the photoshoot in the Bahamas.”

  “Okay, well, how did you find that bit of information out? Did she tell you? How can you be sure it’s the truth?”

  “No, it was Chris.”

  “What? The guy who was with you that night, the jazz piano player who wants you? Lexie, how do you know he isn’t the one lying to you, and you’re ta
king his word for it? How do you think that will make Aiden feel, you believing the guy who wants to take you away from him?”

  “I didn’t just take his word for it, Shannon. I looked up the event on the internet and the pictures popped up of him and his date with the caption:

  Supermodel couple Aiden & Carla hit the runway.”

  I start to cry and get upset with myself for crying, yet again. “I saw all the pictures they took together at the event, so while I have a gun to my head he is out with her at a fashion event.”

  Anthony answers his phone. He holds it out to me. “Aiden wants to talk to you, Alexis.”

  “Tell him that I don’t want to talk at the moment. When I am ready I will call him.”

  Then his voice comes over the speakers of the car, almost yelling. I can hear the anger in it. “Alexis, take the goddam phone from Anthony so we can talk now.”

  “Don’t tell me what to do, Aiden. I will talk to you when I am ready, not when you order me to. I am not your employee or a child.”

  “Then stop acting like one.” He mutters something in Italian. “I would like it if we could not have this conversation in front of anyone or on the phone. Would you please come home so we can talk about what has you so upset that you are willing to put your own life in danger?”

  “Aiden, that is your home, not mine. I’m just a guest there, one who won’t even be that anymore. Besides, tell me why you want to talk in person? So you can lie to me again?”

  “What are you talking about? What did I lie to you about this time? Please just get the phone.”

  I take the phone from Anthony and give him an I’m sorry smile. “I know you were with Carla at the fashion event the night that I had a gun to my head. How could you do that to me again, knowing how I feel about her? How could you lie to me again?”

  “Please let me explain. It is not what you think. I have told you this time and time again. You have to trust me.”

  “Oh yes, of course. It’s never what I think. And yes, you have asked me to trust you, but tell me: how can I trust you when you do nothing but lie to me, or better yet, tell me I need to give you time? Now it’s my turn. You need to give me time, and right now at this moment I simply can’t listen to you. I just need a good night’s sleep. Give me that much, please. If you care for me at all, give me that.”