Forced Out of the Darkness

by Jackson Jr, G. Wayne

  “Humm.” Cameron thought, “there’s something strange about this guy.”

  Monti was also conflicted. He wanted true love in his life and wanted to go into the relationship with a clean conscious. He didn’t want to have to look over his shoulder and wonder when his past would come to haunt him. Not only had he been hurt by others, he had also hurt others. Fear crippled him and deception continued to eat at his soul. Monti was one of those men that gave the allusion that he was a straight man, because he was not comfortable in his own skin.

  He was all about keeping up appearances. He was deathly afraid of being vulnerable to others. He was vulnerable when he went to talk to his father about the feelings he was having. He was vulnerable when he talked to that boy in the high school locker room and told him he liked him and wanted to spend some time hanging out. He was vulnerable when he told his wife “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” But vulnerability did nothing but bring hurt and pain to Monti. He was not going to let this wall come down anytime soon. He was comfortable living an ambiguous life; but there was a spot deep in the recesses of his soul that wanted the light to shine in the darkness of his soul and liberate him from his inner prison.

  “Yes, Monti, we are still on for tonight. I am pulling up to the restaurant to meet my best friend. I am going to stop at the store before I go home. I will be waiting for you when you get to the house.”

  “Ok, I am looking forward to it. Enjoy your time with your bestie and I will see you soon.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Bye.”

  Chapter Twelve

  A W oman Scorned

  Dinner was good and the company was even better. Shaine always knew just what to say to make sure that everything was ok. However, today Cameron shared more information about Monti to Shaine. She knew that there was something about this Monti that her best friend was getting himself involved with. She could not put her finger on it but she knew that something was not right.

  The things that Cameron shared with her made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. The only thing that she could tell him was to be careful and make sure to keep the Smith & Wesson close by. Shaine felt that this journey her friend was on would be full of unnecessary drama but he was adamant about taking this trip. She committed to being there for her best friend regardless to what happened.

  After they ate, Cameron walked Shaine to her car and then went to his. He had to go to the store to pick up a few things. Cameron believed in safe sex, he needed to get some condoms because he didn’t have any. He and Guy didn’t use them after they had been together for a while and been tested three times to be safe. He also wanted to get some libations for the evening. He definitely wanted to get his groove on in real time. The shower was nice and was necessary for that moment; however today he needed some physical stimulation. Cameron knew he wanted to get a few drinks into Monti so he would let down his guards and be more open.

  When Cameron got home, he looked at the clock on the wall as he was making it up the stairs. He wanted to make sure he had enough time to ensure that everything was right. He had about 45 minutes before Monti would be there. He laid out a natural linen pants suit so he could be comfortable tonight. He took out his brown Aldo sandals and his Marc Jacobs cologne. He got in the shower and was brought back to two days ago when he opened the black raspberry and vanilla shower gel. This time his manhood was not driving the shower. He hoped that in a few hours he would be back up here in the shower scrubbing the evidence of an orgasmic evening down the drain.

  Cameron got out the shower; towel dried and did his signature baby oil rub down, then his white cotton with Shea butter body cream. He brushed his perfectly straight and white teeth. He had to keep his smile at the top of its game. After those eyes, the next thing he made sure people saw was his pearly whites. He went back in the bedroom and put on his linen clothes. He did a one over in the full-length mirror he had at the top of the stairs. Damn, did he look and feel good. As he was admiring God’s handiwork in the mirror, the doorbell buzzed. He knew that tonight he would break Monti into the world of Cameron.

  Cameron answered the door and Monti was breathless. Last time in this same foyer, Cameron was the one left breathless. This time the tables were turned and Cameron had the first laugh.

  “Wow, Cameron. You look great.” Monti said.

  “Thanks. I was hoping that you would like it.”

  “Like it is not the word for it.”

  “Really? What would you call it then?”

  “I love it. You are just one sexy man and you know how to make a brother’s eye catch a cavity.”

  “Thanks, Monti. I appreciate it. Let’s go upstairs.”

  They made their way up the stairs to the living room. Cameron asked Monti if he wanted to listen to music or watch television. He had just bought a sixty-inch flat screen that was mounted on the wall.

  Monti said he wanted to start with the television and end with the music. Cameron offered to show the box office hit that broke the stereotypical view of gay men. Monti had never heard of the movie Brokeback Mountain, but he was willing to check it out. It was one of Cameron’s favorite movies. He first saw it with Guy in San Diego on one of the many trips he took to visit him. Cameron went and retrieved the libations he picked up from the liquor store on his way home from dinner. He didn’t tell Monti what he was about to get but he just poured the J.C. on the rocks and made himself a Jack and coke with a lime. They settled in to watch the movie. Monti could not believe that these actors played gay characters with such conviction. He only knew of the gay boys the strolled Palmer Park and the bookstores. He knew of them because these were some of his late night horny spots. He had spilled his seed on those grounds many nights when he could not satisfy his own sexual appetite or if he was under too much stress. Plus they were far enough away from where he lived so he never thought he would meet anyone that he knew.

  The movie was over and more drinks each were shared among the two. They were listening to Rachelle Farrell and Will Downing murder their duet Nothing has Ever Felt Like This, when Monti’s phone began to ring. He declined the call two times. He told Cameron that if he didn’t answer it, his soon-to-be ex-wife would keep calling. Monti excused himself and answered the phone while he was walking down the stairs to take the call outside.

  “Hello.”

  “What are you doing? Or better yet, who are you doing?”

  “Mind your business. What do you want?”

  “Are you doing anything with your son for his birthday this week?”

  “I did not plan on doing anything big, just spending some time with him maybe taking him to get something. Why?”

  “I just wanted to know if you were going to be a father or if you were going to neglect these duties like you did our marriage.”

  “Don’t fucking call me with no bullshit, Yolanda. I am not dealing with your shit any longer. Better yet, unless there is something going on with my son, I don’t need to hear from you, do you understand?”

  “Bye, Faggot.” Yolanda said as she hung up the phone.

  Yolanda Burroughs was thirty-eight years and stood five feet eleven inches tall. She was the soon-to-be ex-wife of Monti. A local minister and his wife adopted Yolanda at a young age. She found that she was adopted when she got older. Yolanda’s adopted father treated her very well, but his wife treated her as if she was only a paycheck. She never showed Yolanda love, compassion, or how to be a mother, woman or wife. The only lesson that she learned from her adoptive mother was not to treat other people.

  Yolanda was crushed when she heard the rumors of her husband’s dark secret. She refused to believe the rumor until she received a phone call one day from one of her husband’s sexual conquests. The voice on the other end was without a doubt feminine but Yolanda could tell the caller was a male. The caller was upset but what rings in her mind is the clear and pointed statement that this caller said. “The next time you
put his dick in your mouth, you’ll be tasting me! If you were any kind of wife, you would be satisfying your husband so he didn’t have to come to me but because you didn’t do it, I took care of it.”

  Yolanda’s ears burned and her heart nearly died. She tried to be the best wife that she knew how to be; she was trying to be the opposite of what she was shown as a child. She just wanted to be loved and to love her husband till death do them part. She didn’t know that as a broken woman, she attracted a broken man. She felt that her husband was going to be there to help heal her brokenness. He was going to love the hurt away. This wasn’t the case; the only thing that her husband brought her was a case of gonorrhea, a trip to the clinic, three shots of penicillin and a broken heart. This broken heart sent her right into the arms of her husband’s best friend.

  Chapter Thirteen

  L ove Me in A Special Way

  “Who the hell does she think she is?” Monti thought as he took a walk around Cameron’s townhouse complex.

  Monti was so angered that he could not go inside right away. The only thing that he could think of was how evil his wife became. After their second separation, Monti was becoming stressed out that his body began to show signs of stress. When he started bleeding from his rectum, he knew he had to go to the doctor and find out what’s going on. On one of his doctor’s visits, Yolanda took him along with the kids. After he got out of his appointment and got into the car, he could not believe what he heard come out of her mouth in front of the two sons.

  “Kids, the reason your dad had to come to the doctor is because he can’t stop bleeding because he let guys fuck him in the ass.” She said with all the venom that she could muster. He wanted to take his hands and wrap them around her neck and choke the life out of her, but he knew he had to set an example for his children. It was then that Monti knew the reason why she had become distant. He knew then why she refused to have sex with him. At that moment, he knew he had all but destroyed his marriage. He didn’t take responsibility for his part in the break-up. When she was caught, he blamed her for stepping out of the marriage. This was his ticket out of the relationship.

  Monti had been gone for a sometime and Cameron was worried about him. Not because he thought something happened to him, Cameron lived in a safe suburban neighborhood. He wondered what happened. He decided to go look for him. When he found Monti, he knew that he was upset about something.

  “Are you alright?” Cameron asked.

  “Yeah, I’m doing okay.”

  “Are you sure? You seem upset. What happened on that call?”

  “I said I am ok. I just needed some time to think and clear my head.”

  “Fine, are you going to be out here all night or do you want to come back in?”

  “I’m ready to come back in, Cam. I am sorry for leaving out like that.” Monti said apologetically.

  “Did he really just shorten my name?” Cameron thought. Most people called him Mack after his last name, some called him Cam but it was not that often. Cameron usually insisted that they called him Cameron.

  “Alright let’s get inside, it is cold as hell out here and my nipples are getting hard.” Cameron laughed to try to lighten the mood. He was looking forward to tonight and didn’t want a phone call to ruin the ambiance that he had created. This was going to be the night that he allowed someone else into his life sexually since his breakup and he was overdue for some good loving.

  Back upstairs in the living room, with the fireplace crackling, DeBarge’s hit Love Me in a Special Way was playing. This is one of the many songs that were in Cameron’s musical repertoire. Cameron was a lover of music since Teddy Pendergrass’ 1978 hit Close the Door. Cameron loved all genres of music because it made him feel life. Cameron was able to express what he was experiencing through music. When he could not find the word to say…he could definitely find a song that said it perfectly.

  Tonight Cameron wanted to be loved in a special way. Cameron and Monti began to dance to DeBarge and they settled into each other. Monti needed to let go of the heaviness in his eyes and Cameron needed help shedding the heaviness in his heart. As DeBarge ended their song saying, just love me now. The lyrics of one of Cameron’s favorite artist started to ring…“Dear Lover…I hope this letter finds you. Dear Lover” Teena Marie was going to take him to a place that was only peace and he was going to take Monti with him.

  Cameron was in a good headspace as Teena talked about “wishing on the rings of Saturn”; he looked up and kissed Monti passionately. He hoped the message was clear. Monti returned the kiss as passionately as Cameron gave it to him. As they rocked to the music and kissed, Cameron noticed Monti’s manhood coming to life in his pants. Cameron knew at that point that he didn’t need to worry about the hardness that was beginning to tell Monti he was not alone. As the music continued to send both Cameron and Monti to a lustful place where they we able to lay down what plagued them, “Shall we,” Monti asked as he motioned towards the stairs.

  “Thought you’d never ask.”

  Cameron was beyond ready. They went upstairs to the bedroom, where Cameron had already lit the candles. When Monti was on the phone outside, Cameron took the liberty to set the bedroom for what he hoped would follow. They took each other’s clothes off slowly as they continued to kiss each other. Their clothes were completely off when the golden vocals of Luther came on saying, “There was a time when I didn’t have no one. Didn’t have no love.” They looked at each other. Cameron admired Monti’s hairless nakedness. He took in the muscle packed on Monti’s chest and arms. He admired the girth of his legs. Monti looked at Cameron’s leanness and his pierced nipples. His body was smooth and his stomach flat. His skin was light and smooth with light hair. They both aroused each other.

  As Luther sang, Forever, For Always, For Love, Cameron and Monti explored each other’s body. Nothing was off limits. They tasted each other’s nipples, neck, and ear lobes. They continued to passionately caress and grope each other to the point where Cameron’s excitement caused him to let out a moan. He was in ecstasy and he needed to be in this place.

  This time they made love like there was no tomorrow. Time stood still. No part of Cameron’s body was neither neglected nor unexplored by Monti and Cameron made the same be true for Monti. They made love till nothing mattered in the world except the two of them. They made love till both men were sexually empty. They made love till pain was forgotten. The love they made was Monti’s painkiller. They made love until they were drenched in sweat and out of breath. After multiple climaxes, they were both physically and sexually exhausted. They fell asleep in each other’s arms both feeling safe, knowing that nothing else going on in life mattered at this moment. Their breathing was synchronized. Their hearts beat in unison as they slept soundly through the night.

  * * * * *

  Monti stirred the next morning and looked at the clock. It was 8:24am. “Damn, I’m late.” Monti thought. He got up and looked at Cameron sleeping peacefully he did not want to disturb him. He found his pants and his t-shirt and went down to the second floor. His phone was in his pants pocket, so he pulled it out and called his supervisor. Monti was a prompt person and was never late for work. He knew that he had to let her know he was going to be late. He had a brief conversation with her to say that he had something that came up late last night and that he had overslept. He let her know that he would be in by 10:00 am.

  Monti went out to his vehicle and got his work clothes that he brought “just in case” he did not make it home last night and went back up to where Cameron was now sitting up in the bed. “Good morning sexy man.” Monti said seductively.

  “Morning, how did you sleep?”

  Monti thought about it for a brief moment. “You know what…I haven’t slept this good in a long time. I guess you were the cure to my insomnia.”

  “I am glad you had a good night’s rest.”

  “Man, did I ever. What about you? How did you sleep?”

  “I felt safe,” was all Cameron c
ould say as he was reminiscing on the events of last night. “I truly enjoyed you, last night.”

  “I enjoyed you too, Cam. I hope that this isn’t the last time that I can wake up to you.” Monti said as he bent down to kiss Cameron. “Do you have a towel and wash cloth so that I can get cleaned up for work?”

  “Sure, I already put them in the bathroom for you. I also put a new toothbrush out for you.”

  Monti went to the bathroom and pulled the door after him until it was just barely cracked. He wanted to leave an opening for Cameron, just in case he wanted to come in with him. After he brushed his teeth, Monti turned on the shower. Within a few moments Monti was in his personal steam room as his tall chocolate frame disappeared into the steam. This chocolate didn’t melt under the heat of Cameron steamy shower, but it sure did melt under the heat of Cameron last night.

  “I wonder why he left the door cracked.” Cameron thought until he heard Monti call out for him.

  “Cameron?”

  “Yes, Monti. What’s up?”

  “Can you help me out for a minute?”

  “What can I do for you?” Cameron said as he opened the bathroom door and was enveloped in the steam. He instantly smelled the fragrant black raspberry and vanilla shower gel.

  “Can you wash my back?” Monti asked as he poked his head around the shower curtain and smiled as he looked up and down at Cameron.

  “Umm…sure…I can help you.” Cameron said as he moved closer to the shower. He walked over to the shower to wash Monti’s back for him. As he slid open the curtain, Monti turned around and picked Cameron up and put him in the shower with him. Cameron did not have much time to realize what had happened but as he looked down, his stiffness knew full well what was happening. Monti noticed just how turned on Cameron was. There in the shower, Cameron had deja-vous, he was in the same place but this time he did not have to imagine what it would be like, he was experiencing it for himself.