by Rue Volley
Josh smiled.
“Oh you wouldn’t even know the half of it.”
Johnathan tilted his head.
“Well, actually I do… I am in your head, right?”
Josh bit his lip and tried to push dirty thoughts out of his mind.
“You need to open your heart, talk about how she makes you feel,” Johnathan said.
Josh closed his eyes and thought about her, pushing through all the dirty stuff and to the heart of it. He opened his eyes up and looked at Johnathan.
“She makes me want to be more than what I am,” Josh muttered.
Johnathan squeezed his hands. Josh looked at him and shook his head.
“Don’t do that, alright?”
Johnathan nodded and waited for Josh to say more.
Josh sighed and closed his eyes again.
“I am more, so much more, by her side. Without her I feel…”
Johnathan leaned forward and Josh could feel his breath on his face.
“Dude, I swear to god. I will stab you in the heart if you don’t stop breathing on me.”
Johnathan leaned back and grinned.
“Well, go on… you feel what?” Johnathan said.
Josh swallowed and took a breath.
“I feel lost,” he muttered.
A vibration rose up in him, it was small but enough for him to let Johnathan’s hands go and look at his hands. He could barely see traces of blue swirling on his skin.
“See… we need to do more,” Johnathan said as he stared at him.
Josh felt light-headed and a little nauseous. He stood up and stumbled back.
“I need to take a break from this for a moment,” he said as he touched his chest.
Johnathan stood up and stared at him.
“Whatever, dude… I think we are onto something though.”
“Yea… fine,” Josh said as he started to walk.
Johnathan followed him closely behind.
Chapter 6
Crazyville
Johnathan started to focus. He shook his head and sat up. He leaned his head back, kind of fell against the wall really. It didn’t hurt. Everything was padded, floor to ceiling. He started to stretch his arms out… no go. He looked down and had the old school straight jacket on.
“Oh shit,” he muttered as he continued to shake off whatever they shot him up with.
He pushed his back against the padded wall and scooted upward, until he was standing. He looked down. No shoes. Just perfect. What did they think? That he would somehow pull a rabbit out of his hat, get out of the jacket and hang himself from all the nothing in the room… with his shoe laces? Right.
He looked up and the light was blinding. Yea, blinding lights in a padded cell would surely not make you crazier than you already are, were? He rolled his eyes and just knew that this was nowhere near the plan. What was the plan anyway? Awesome. He knew he was in memory, but what had he come there for?
The door opened and someone walked in, padded up like some psychotic teddy bear from hell. His visitor had a padded helmet on, so Johnathan could not see his face…
He cleared his throat.
“Hey, listen to me… You have made a terrible mistake! I am not crazy; I do not belong here!” he yelled at his anonymous visitor.
The padded demon stepped up to him and grabbed his arm. He started to drag him out. Well good, Johnathan thought. Maybe someone realized that he wasn’t even on the roster here. He stumbled across the padded floor. Happy that demon teddy had a tight grip on him, otherwise he would have fallen down, just adding to the dramatics.
They stepped out of the cell and Johnathan looked up to see Brooke getting carted down the hallway in a wheelchair. He yelled out to her.
“Brooke! Holy crap! Are you okay?” he said, truly concerned for her.
Brooke raised her hand slowly with a big smile on her face. She was doped up, obviously.
She winked at him and Johnathan shook his head.
“Brooke!” he yelled out as she was wheeled into a room and the door closed behind her.
“Shit!” Johnathan yelled.
Demon teddy dragged him along, not saying a word. He came to a large door and opened it up, pushing Johnathan in front of him. Johnathan stumbled forward, almost losing his balance. The door slammed behind him and he looked up and saw a girl sitting behind a white desk. Johnathan tilted his head and tried to smile, but he held back looking all goofy, hoping that he wouldn’t be looked at… like he belonged here.
“Sit down, Johnathan,” the girl said, without much emotion in her voice.
Johnathan looked at the white chair, in this white room, the girl in all white.
Yep, this was not good… Nowhere near good, in any way, he thought.
“So,” the girl said as she tapped her pen on the desk.
Johnathan swallowed and looked at her.
“What?” Johnathan said.
“Why are you two here?” she asked him.
Johnathan grinned. God, he wished that he could tell her; he really did.
“Funny story,” Johnathan started to say.
He looked at the girl, as she sat motionless in the chair.
“Ummm, Brooke and I came here on a dare,” he said.
Pulling anything he could straight out of his ass.
She shifted in her chair. She grinned at him. He cleared his throat and watched her turn, grab a file, and place it in front of her on the desk. He leaned up and she looked up at him and cleared her throat. She flipped it open and started to read aloud.
“Johnathan Morris Graph: Dropped out of Barrington. Deemed as disruptive. Ran down hallway nude… with book. Released to attend Calvary high school. Did not finish. Father deceased. Has somewhat easy temperament. Emotional. Has sexual feelings towards his sister, Rue.”
“Oh crap,” he muttered. “No, no… no,” he said as he leaned forward in his chair.
“Rue… oh my god,” he said as he fell back, suddenly remembering why he came here to begin with.
“So, would you like to talk about Rue?” she asked.
Johnathan shook his head.
“I would like to have a lawyer present,” Johnathan said as he raised his eyebrows.
The girl scribbled something down on the paper. He leaned up and tried to see what she was writing down. She looked up at him and closed the file.
“I don’t want you to feel threatened here. I assure you… whatever you say stays in this room,” she said as she leaned back and crossed her legs.
“I umm… I don’t know what you want,” he said.
“I want you to say whatever you want too.”
“Where am I?” he asked her.
She grinned.
“You said that you came here on a dare.”
“Okay… listen, truth is… I came here to get Rue,” he said.
She uncrossed her legs and Johnathan watched her re-cross them under the desk.
She had a short skirt on, he couldn’t help but notice.
“Do you find me attractive?” she asked him.
He looked up and realized that he got stuck, staring at her legs under the desk.
The desk was open in the front for crap sake. He cleared his throat.
“No, I’m sorry,” he muttered as he grinned.
“I think that you are a very sexual person by nature, am I correct in saying that?” she asked him.
He tilted his head at her.
“Well, I… I am a guy,” he said, hoping it would be enough for her.
She smiled and uncrossed her legs again. He tried not to look.
She watched him as she crossed them the other way. He leaned up to her.
“Are you testing me right now?” he asked her.
“Do you want to be tested?” she asked him.
He sighed. “Listen, I don’t belong here… I promise you.”
“Oh but you do,” she said as she ran her fingers across the file. He looked at it.
“I can’t believe I have a
file; I mean that is crazy.”
She interlaced her fingers on top of the file and smiled again.
“What do you feel about Rue, Johnathan? It is the reason why you came here to begin with,” she said.
“You are kidding me, right?” he said as he laughed.
“No, do you find it funny?”
He stopped laughing and shifted in his chair; he moved his arms a little and grunted.
“Are you uncomfortable, I mean… that I asked you about her?”
Johnathan grinned.
“I don’t think that how I feel is really any of your business.”
“Oh, okay,” she said as she leaned back and reached for a button on the desk.
Johnathan leaned forward, realizing that she may be calling someone to return him to the cell.
“Hey, listen… I’m sorry. You want to talk about Rue...? Okay then, I’ll talk about her.”
The girl let her finger hover over the button for a moment and then took her hand away from it, resting her hands on her lap.
“Okay… go ahead, Johnathan, talk to me,” she said.
Johnathan took a breath and leaned back in the chair.
“Okay then. Ummm, she aggravates me,” he said as he looked up at the ceiling.
“In what way?” the girl asked him.
“She… she just has this way about her; she does whatever she wants to.”
The girl waited. He glanced at her, knowing that she would wait forever to listen to him.
He shook his head. “Ummm, I like her… She is one of a kind.”
The girl rubbed her neck and looked at him.
“Do you want to tell me about the sex?” she asked him.
Johnathan bit his lip.
“What sex?” he asked her.
“The sex you want to have with her,” the girl said.
“Oh god...! Really?” Johnathan turned his head and looked at the white walls.
He looked up… more white. Everything in the room was white, the walls, the floor, the painting on the wall…even the statue of a horse on the table. He looked back at her.
“Do you guys paint everything white in here...? I mean, is there an ‘Everything White store’ you shop at?”
The girl grinned and placed her hand to her mouth. Johnathan looked at her. This was the first emotion he had seen. Maybe his humor had a chance to change her mind about him.
“I do not decorate. I just help people help themselves in here,” she said to him.
He laughed. “Help me, help you stuff, right?” he said.
“Yes, now back to the real issue, why do you want to have sex with your sister, Johnathan...? I mean, you must know that it is not healthy.”
Johnathan smiled and leaned up to her.
“She is not my sister, first of all.”
The girl opened the file and looked at it.
“Do you really believe that?”
Johnathan shuffled his feet and looked down.
“I know it; Rue is not my sister… There was a moment that I was told that she was, but she isn’t, so no biggie.”
“But when you knew, you wanted her anyway…correct?” she asked him.
He crinkled his eyebrows.
“I didn’t know… I mean, I had no memory of it and it wasn’t really her anyway… it was twelve year old Rue,” he said.
He leaned back and shook his head, realizing how crazy that sounded.
“Oh,” she said as she started to write.
He leaned up in his chair.
“No… no, you can just omit that part,” he said as he bit his lip.
She looked up at him and her face was soft.
She looked as if she cared or maybe she felt pity for him; he couldn’t be sure at this point.
“Listen, I know how that sounded but it wasn’t like that. I mean, whatever you are thinking or writing down or whatever,” he said.
She shook her head.
“Johnathan, I am here to help… I do not make any judgments on any one I see.”
Johnathan sighed.
She pressed the button and demon teddy appeared behind him. Johnathan looked up at him.
“Oh crap,” he muttered.
Demon Teddy grabbed his arm and pulled him up.
Johnathan looked at the girl as he was dragged from the room.
“I do not belong here!” he yelled out.
She looked at her paper, as if she couldn’t hear him.
“I never wanted to hump my sister!” he yelled as the door shut and he was dragged back to the cell.
Demon teddy opened the door and threw him in; he landed on his side and rolled over.
“Son of a bitch!” he yelled out to his padded walls.
***
I blinked a few times and rolled over. The “note” crinkled under me. I must have slept with it… awesome. I sat up and stretched my arms as I looked out the window. The sun was shining brightly and a bird landed on my windowsill. I pushed myself out of bed and walked to it. It was so small; it looked at me for a moment and I tilted my head, wondering if it recognized me. It chirped and flew away. I watched it and then looked at the trees, the leaves looked all green. Where did fall go?
I sighed and turned around. Blake stood in my doorway with a tray in his hand. I guess he decided to forego the rolling cart this time. I bit my lip and glanced at the note on my bed. He looked too. He grinned and walked in, closing the door behind him. He walked up to my bed and laid the tray down. It had a silver domed plate on it. It smelled fantastic, but I just knew that it wouldn’t taste like anything.
I walked to the bed and sat down. I reached over and picked up the flower he had laid alongside my plate and smelled it. It smelled like honey. My stomach growled. He grinned and pulled the dome off. I looked at meat on the plate. I grinned and looked up at him.
“I thought that maybe today you could give meat a try,” he said.
I looked at it and my stomach growled again, this time loud enough for him to hear.
“Well, it sounds like your stomach is happy,” he said as he laughed and sat down in the chair.
I looked at him and grinned.
“I think that you are right.”
He watched me poke at my plate. He pulled out the dreaded fork and handed it to me. I grinned and took it from him; he held onto it for a moment. I didn’t think it was to play with me this time. He let his fingers rub across mine and I pulled it from his hand slowly and looked at my plate. I shifted on the bed and the ‘note’ crinkled under me. I reached under me and picked it up. I set it to the side and stabbed at the meat on the plate.
He shifted in his chair and I avoided looking at him. I picked up the meat in one piece, dangling on my fork. I tilted my head and bit into it. I started to chew and I could taste it. Holy crap. I grinned and chewed at the same time.
“Good?” he asked me. I nodded and swallowed.
“Oh my god… I can taste it… this is so awesome!” I said all excited, like it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
He crossed his arms on his chest and grinned.
I took another bite and started to cough. He jumped up and hit me on the back. I coughed again, but was half laughing too. I couldn’t believe that he was in panic mode. He stood me up and lifted my arms above my head. I smiled and nodded at him. I swallowed and shook my head.
“I’m okay,” I said as he held my arms up, like a little kid.
“Oh… okay… sorry. I just thought you were choking to death,” he said.
I shook my head and smiled at him.
“Well, thank you for saving me from the evil meat,” I said.
He grinned and realized that he still had my arms above my head.
“Oh crap,” he said as he let my arms go. I laughed.
“It’s okay, really… Makes me feel better to know that if I choke on anything. You are on point.”
I grabbed my head as a splitting pain rocked me. It waved through me so bad that I almost fell over.
He grabbed my arms and set me down on the bed. Voices welled up and echoed in my head, “on point” came through loud and clear.
I rocked as I held my head for a moment.
“Rue… Rue… Rue?” I heard slowly, like it was under water.
I blinked and looked up to see Blake leaning over me. He had his hand on my back, and I could feel it moving up and down. I cleared my throat and took my hands from my head.
“Uh huh,” I said as the voices started to move off in the distance.
“Are you okay?” he asked me.
I shook my head yes, although I now had a headache.
He grinned and knelt down in front of me, placing his hand on my face. He looked in my eyes.
“What do you need?” he asked me.
I looked at him and tried to smile. I mean this sucked. I liked him. Maybe not like I felt about imaginary boy… who pissed me off by the way, but there I was… crazy right in front of him. Awesome. Just perfect.
I closed my eyes and felt his hand on my face. I wanted to tell him to leave, just because I guess I was embarrassed in a way. I opened my eyes up when I felt his lips on mine. I “mmm’d” and backed up on the bed. Blake stood up and ran his hand through his hair.
I looked at my hands.
“Oh god… Rue. I am so sorry; I don’t know why I did that,” he muttered.
I looked up at him as I fidgeted with my fingers.
“Don’t be,” I said to him, hoping it would drop his panic to a lower level.
He cleared his throat and stepped around to the other side of the bed.
I watched him pace for a moment.
“God… that was so stupid.”
He rubbed his hands on his pants and looked at me.
“I feel so perverted right now; please tell me that I’m not.”
I stood up and had to place my hand on the side of my bed. I feel a little dizzy from the crazy moment I’d just had. He stopped and looked at me.
“Holy shit, you are still dizzy, right?” he said.
I nodded and he walked back over to me and took my arm. He sat me back down and looked out towards the window. I wanted to say the right thing, something that would make him feel better about what just went down between us. I leaned towards him.
“I like your meat,” I said.
He looked at me and crinkled his eyebrows.
“What?” he said. I shook my head.