by Susan Vance
“Emma, the door was locked. You must have locked it behind me when I left. Honey, I had to kick down your door. Did you fall asleep on the couch? How did he get in? What do you mean kill your family? Your family is fine, they’re just fine.”
Emma was too confused and upset. She was shaking and she knew Jason didn’t know what to do. “Call my mother. Oh, God, Jason I’m sorry. Just call my mom,” she cried.
Jason laid her down on the sofa and she put her head on the pillow. She put her hands to her head and sighed. Her head was pounding. Her heart was beating so fast she was having trouble breathing. Jason tried to comfort her, but there wasn’t anything he could do but hold her. She became very quiet. She felt as if the room was spinning. She tried to hold on. She looked at Jason and tried so hard to hold on, but she felt oddly detached, somehow. As if she were viewing this and not actually participating. She felt like she was floating and couldn’t feel Jason’s arms around her anymore. Jason looked at her face, but she wasn’t there and she looked so helpless. She simply stared out into nothing.
Chapter Sixteen
Thanksgiving was right around the corner. Emma left the clinic and had been living at her parent’s home for several weeks. She had not spoken since that night at her apartment two months earlier. Dr. Williams agreed with the family that Emma could go home. They felt that she needed to be around them all the time. They had assured Dr. Williams someone would be with her every minute. They took turns sitting with her and talking. They would tell her of their day and read the paper to her. Marilyn read a chapter of a book to Emma every morning. It was one of Emma’s favorites, but not a muscle would she move. No reaction at all. She ate when fed, but that was about all.
Marilyn had called Carol, the former owner of the flower shop and explained that Emma was very ill. Carol agreed to manage the shop until the first of the year.
Jason had visited with her every day while she was at the clinic and he called her every evening to say good night. Someone would hold the phone to her ear, but it wasn’t clear whether she even heard him. She sat there without any expression on her face. Her eyes would flutter from time to time and she seemed to get agitated, but for the most part she remained locked away inside her frightened mind. Now that she was at her parent’s home Jason spent more time with her each evening. He had taken Sam to his house to be with Rosie, but promised Emma he would bring him to see her soon. Emma didn’t seem to care one way or another. The family was extremely concerned that Emma was slipping even further away. During this time Jason was becoming close with whom he had hoped would someday become his in-laws.
“Jason,” Jody said, “we need to do something. I know we can snap her out of this. I have always been able to help her in the past, but this was the worst episode she’s ever had. This has gone on way too long. We need to do something.”
“What do you mean the worst? How many times has this happened?”
“A few times, but it isn’t like she would get hysterical and see people that aren’t there all the time. When she was a child she would have nightmares. This stranger would always be in her nightmares. Sometimes she would say she saw him, but none of us ever did. We knew it was her imagination. When she would have the nightmares I would be able to comfort her and not only would she calm down she wouldn’t even remember it in the morning. We have to do something. This is too pitiful. Poor, Emma.”
“Jody, the night it happened I told Emma I loved her as I walked out the door to pick up some take-out. I was teasing her, but I had planned on coming back and telling her how much I really did care. I love her. I want to have a life with her. I’m scared I’ve lost her. Do you think that had anything to do with her breakdown? Maybe I scared her. Maybe I did this to her.”
“That isn’t what upset her. Something had to have happened between the time you left and when you got back. Do you think she got a phone call after you left? This just doesn’t make sense to me. She was happier than she has ever been. She was dreaming of the day you told her you loved her. She told me before that she had fallen in love with you and that she hoped you felt the same way. I thought you two talked about your love at the cabin? Emma told me you said you loved her. Telling her again would only have made her happy. That wouldn’t have upset her at all. Something else must have happened. Have you told her since that night? I think she can hear us. She just can’t respond for some reason.”
“I did tell her that I loved her at the cabin and no, I have been afraid to bring it up with her while she is like this. I wasn’t sure if it would upset her. I’m so frustrated over this. I want her to get better, but to be honest, I’m scared. If she is really this ill, then maybe a relationship isn’t what’s best for her or what she needs right now. I’m willing to wait.”
“Don’t wait. My sister needs you in her life.”
“I don’t want to rush her. My God, she is so fragile. What if she never recovers? I pray every night she will get better. What must be going on in her mind? I’ll do whatever I can to help her, anything. She means the world to me. Maybe if I bring Sam over tomorrow. Maybe that will move her. Will that be okay with your mom if I bring over Emma’s cat?”
“Are you kidding? Mom wants whatever’s best for Emma. Sure, bring him over tomorrow evening.” She hesitated for a moment. “Jason, has Emma told you much about her childhood?”
“No, she hasn’t told me very much at all. When we first met she told me that her parents were killed in a car accident. Of course I know different now. When we were at the cabin she told me the truth. She told me about her seeing this guy, but that it was her imagination. She told me about the nightmares and how her parents really died. What more can you tell me?”
“She was so small when she came to live with us. We’re the same age, you know, but she was really tiny. Mom said she just needed a lot of love and some good home cooked food. She was sickly and had nightmares every night. I was the only one that could make her stop crying in the middle of the night. Well, not really at first because she was so attached to my mom, but after a few years we became really close. We were best friends all through school. I dated a lot, but Emma didn’t. She was so cute, all the boys asked her out, but she hardly ever accepted. When she had the nightmares I would climb into bed with her and talk with her. It was weird, really. She would always cry and then go into some kind of a trance just like she is now, but I would say, ‘Shhh, no one will harm you while I am here. Shhh, it’s just a bad dream.’ I would tell her that Mommy was coming to save her. Then she would come out of it and go back to sleep. I would stay with her the rest of the night. It always worked before. I wish I could have been there that night.”
“I tried to comfort her,” Jason replied. “You should have seen her. She was hysterical. She kept saying that he had been there and he was going to kill her. She was pulling at her hair and screaming. She was scared to death. There were clumps of her hair that she had pulled out on the floor.”
“That doesn’t sound like anything she’s gone through before. This seems different to me. Did you tell Mom about this?”
“No one ever asked me what Emma said that night. What difference does it make? She was beyond comforting. I tried. I really tried. Maybe if you had been there she would have responded to you, but we have a close relationship now. She should have responded to me. Don’t you think so?” he asked sounding defeated and blaming himself.
“I didn’t mean that you were incapable of helping her, Jason. I know how much she means to you. We need to work together on this. Don’t start blaming yourself now, please.”
“You’re right. Honestly, I don’t know what to do for her.”
“We’ll find a way, Jason. We’ll find a way.”
* * *
Jason spent Thanksgiving with his mother, but went to the Jenkins house for dessert. He was torn between being with Emma and spending Thanksgiving with his family. David was home from Germany and John came with his new girlfriend. His sister, Karen was home from school and it had be
en awhile since they were all home together. He wished they could have met Emma, but it just wasn’t going to happen this Thanksgiving. Brenda knew what her son was going through and was supportive. She had urged him to go be with Emma.
“Go on, Honey, we’ll still be up when you get back. Don’t worry. Believe me, we all understand. This is going to turn out okay. I have a good feeling about this. Emma is a wonderful person and I really think she will work through this. I love you. We all love you. I’m so proud of you for sticking this out with her. We wouldn’t blame you if you needed to walk away. Emma is a lucky woman to have your heart,” she said with pride in her eyes.
* * *
Emma was sitting in the family room with Sam on her lap. As Jason walked into the room he noticed Emma stroking Sam’s neck. Sam was purring loudly and Emma continued to pet her cat. Sam had been there several days and spent every moment with Emma. She had not responded when Jason brought Sam over the other day so this was a huge improvement.
“Hi, Emma. Happy Thanksgiving, Sweetheart. I’m glad to see you’re hanging out with Sam. I’ve come for pumpkin pie and whipped cream,” he said bending down to kiss her on the cheek.
Emma began to stroke Sam’s hair with more vigor. She seemed to be more alert. Jason looked around the room and then tried another approach. Emma seemed to react a little when he said pie and whipped cream, which gave him an idea.
“Emma, Honey, look at me.” He bent down and made eye contact with her. “Emma, I need you to get well.” He leaned forward and whispered, “I have strawberries and whipped cream at my house, I thought we could enjoy some, later. Emma, look at me,” he begged. “I have strawberries and whipped cream. I’m longing to dip the berries in the cream and feed them to you. Emma, do you hear me? I love you. I’m going to wait until you are well. I love you,” he whispered again.
“I love you too, Jason —whipped cream, you say?” Her voice was raspy and just above a whisper, but loud enough to be heard by her mother.
Marilyn came rushing in from the kitchen. “Emma?” she cried in disbelief.
Jody came running in with Louie in her arms. “Look, Louie, Auntie Em has risen,” she said lifting Louie up to see his aunt.
Emma tried to get up from the chair, but she was weak. She fell back into her seat. She was confused. She looked around the room and then back to Jason. She looked pleadingly to her mother and held out her arms.
It was obvious Emma had no idea what had transpired over the last few months. She tried to stand again, Jason caught her this time.
“I feel hungry. Did someone say something about pumpkin pie and whipped cream?”
Smiling, Jason touched her arm. “It was me, but I was talking about strawberries,” he whispered raising that eye brow Emma loved so much.
Emma had a little extra color come to her face. Marilyn looked at Howard and shook her head. She threw her arms up in the air and went to the kitchen to cut the pie. Alone in the kitchen, Marilyn called Dr. Williams and asked his advice. He offered to come over to help and Marilyn agreed it would be better if he did. The rest of the evening was difficult and Emma was still terribly confused. She had lost two months of her life and couldn’t remember a single day. As soon as she saw the doctor she started to cry. Just seeing him there alarmed her. She finally calmed down and accepted his help. Jason never left her side throughout the whole evening. Dr. Williams explained that he wanted to get started right way with Emma and Howard agreed to bring her to see him as soon as she was able. Emma was impressed that he would come to the house on Thanksgiving. She was starting to change her mind about him. She thought he was really kind and she knew he was trying to help her.
* * *
Several weeks later while Emma was seeing the doctor, she actually remembered some of that night and realized how dangerous her imagination could be. She was glad to have Jason in her life and was thankful he didn’t run away when she became such a raving lunatic. Emma stayed at her parent’s home and Jason came over every chance he could. He had some time off and wanted to take Emma to the cabin for three days. He knew he needed to ask her parents about it before he asked Emma. They called Dr. William and they all agreed she needed this time away with Jason. They asked him to call them right away if something, anything should happen. Jason agreed and assured them she would be fine and he wouldn’t leave her alone for a second. Emma was excited to be going away.
Chapter Seventeen
Snow had been falling all day and by the time they arrived at the cabin they couldn’t see the path leading up to the cabin door. Emma was in a hurry to get inside. Jason made sure she had plenty of ginger ale for the ride up the mountain and Emma was getting pretty uncomfortable.
“Emma, stay in the car where it’s warm. I’ll be right back,” he said leaving her alone to watch him.
“Wait, Jason, I’ve got to–”
Jason grabbed a snow shovel and tried to scoop as much snow off the path as possible. He went back to the car and turned it off. He took Emma’s hand and led her to the front door.
“I’ve walked on snow and ice before,” she said with a laugh.
Jason was trying to treat her as if nothing had happened and so far he was doing a great job at it.
“I think the hot tub will feel great in a while,” she said. “Remember how hot it was the last time we were here? I loved that night. I swear it was my best time ever. You are too good to be true. Don’t let me wake up if this is a dream. Promise me?”
Emma was smiling, but there was something deeper to what she was saying. It had been months since they had made love. She was anxious and excited. As they brought their supplies in Emma looked out back to see if the hot tub was even turned on.
Jason saw her looking. “I’m sure it’s good and hot. I had Frank, my neighbor, turn the heater on a couple of days ago. It’s nice to have him just down the road to do things like that for me. I’ll race you there,” he said balancing bags and tugging at his clothes. Emma was undressed and in the hot tub before Jason could put the bags down.
“Hey, that’s not fair. I had stuff in my hands,” he said undressing and running up the steps. Plunging in, he splashed water in Emma’s face. He stood up to grab a towel to wipe off her face.
She could see that he was already excited.“Oh my,” she sighed as she reached for him.
* * *
Later they enjoyed spaghetti and salad. Jason said he would make garlic bread as long as they both ate it. “You can’t smell it if you eat it,” he said laughing robustly.
This made Emma laugh, too. “Don’t quit your day job, Mister.”
They sat by the fire and talked about Christmas. Jason wanted her to spend some time with his mother and he wanted Emma to meet his sister. It was a happy time for both of them. They were making memories.
* * *
Emma hadn’t returned to the flower shop. Not even to check things out. She would be missing the holiday rush this year, but she was fine with that. Her health was more important and this had to be part of her treatment. No stress and no pressures for deadlines. She was to relax, see the doctor, and enjoy her family and Jason.
Between her mother, the former owner, Carol, her two employees and her sisters, the shop was well taken care of. Emma had agreed to the terms and remained at her parent’s house. She was planning on returning to her apartment after the first of the year. She went to the apartment daily, but always with a family member or Jason. Eventually she and Jason spent the night.
Her treatment was working and by the end of the year she was ready to return home. The first few nights Jason stayed with her and her younger sister, Teri spent the night a few times. Emma was looking forward to being by herself. Her watch dogs were very loving, but she needed some space. She longed for it. In the time between Thanksgiving and January the first, she hadn’t seen the stranger. She looked around for him. He wasn’t in any of the parking lots nor was he ever at the park. Never once did she see him across the street from Dr. Williams’ office. In her
mind she pretended that he had died. She attended his funeral and no one was there but her. She watched as they lowered him in to his grave and she saw the dirt being piled up on top of his coffin. She played these scenes over and over until there was no doubt he was dead. She never told anyone that she had killed him in her mind, but in a way it felt like closure to her. Unless imaginary people have imaginary ghosts, she felt sure she was done with him.
Chapter Eighteen
January was cold and wet. It rained and snowed for days and the streets were a mess. The slush was unbearable. Between the mud and the melted snow, it was getting dangerous to drive. Emma pulled up in front of the flower shop and parked her car. She made a mad dash for the door. Becky and Marie were both there and Emma was surprised to see Becky out of school.
“Hey, Becky, why aren’t you in school?”
“We don’t go back until the fifth. Plus, I thought you could use my help.”
“You’re so right. I do need you. Come on, let’s get to work.”
Emma knew there would be no talk about what had happened, but Becky had this look on her face like she had something important to say. Emma smiled and gave her an encouraging nod.
“Emma, we really missed you. Carol was okay, but it just wasn’t the same without you here. I’m happy you’re back. Are you okay now?”
“Becky,” Marie scolded.
“It’s okay, Marie. Thanks, Becky. I missed you too. I’m okay now. I just had to get a few things straight in my head. It’s a long story, maybe I’ll share it with both of you someday. Right now, let’s get to work. The place looks great, by the way. I knew I could count on the two of you to keep things in shape.”
The day was busy and Emma had a ton of papers to go over. Carol had done a wonderful job and Emma was lucky she was able to take over. It hadn’t been that long ago since Carol owned the shop. Emma thought about all that had happened and she felt lucky it wasn’t worse than it was. She had read a book that Dr. Williams recommended about a man that had to completely ignore the others that he saw before it destroyed his life. He was able to triumph over his illness, but it took years and many heartaches. In her case, ignoring wasn’t enough. She had to kill him off. She was grateful that Jason loved her. He was a special man and although he had no idea what he might be getting himself into, he still wanted her. She was a fortunate woman.