by Susan Vance
* * *
This was to be Emma’s first night alone at her apartment. She wasn’t worried, but the family was.
“Emma, maybe you should stay with us another week or two,” her mother had said sounding over concerned. “Or, Teri can go stay with you, again. I worry you aren’t ready.”
Howard reluctantly agreed with Emma. He felt she was ready.
It was nearly noon when Jason came by with pizza and the girls commented on how they had missed being spoiled by him. By the end of the day Emma was tired and was happy to be on her way home. Jason was coming over with dinner and then they planned on watching a movie.
Emma felt free to look in her rear view mirror now. Quite often before, she would see him driving behind her and so it was easier not to look, but now she was free of him. She pulled into the parking lot of her apartment. She hated that it was already dark, but it was winter. She noticed someone on the sidewalk and for a brief second it worried her, but she got brave and stepped out of her car. She knew he was gone, but she still had her moments. Her eyes glanced up and she saw it was one of her neighbors walking her dog.
Emma waved. “Hi, Sandy. Looks like it is going to clear up, don’t you think?”
“Hi, Emma. How are you? I wish it would stop raining, but I heard on the news that it’s going to pour again all night. It makes walking Molly so difficult. She hates the rain and I have to drag her out. Where in the world have you been? I thought maybe you moved or something.”
“I decided to spend some time at my parents house.”
Thankfully Sandy didn’t ask why. “Hey, where’s that handsome hunk of a boyfriend of yours?”
“He’s on his way over with dinner right now,” Emma said as she walked away. She was anxious about going into her apartment by herself and wasn’t in the mood to make small talk with someone she barely knew. Sandy lived on the first floor and Emma really didn’t see much of her. She worked nights and Emma figured she slept most of the day. Emma waved again looking like she was in a hurry and headed up the stairs. She unlocked the door and went in. Sam was waiting to eat and it seemed like all was back to normal. She took off her clothes and jumped in the shower.
Jason arrived and used the key Emma had given him. He put the food in the kitchen and turned on the TV. He heard the water turn off and called out to Emma so as not to startle her, “Hi, Honey, it’s me.”
He was sitting on the couch changing channels and getting comfy when Emma came out wearing only a towel. She caught his attention, then let the towel fall to the floor.
Jason looked up at her then quickly scrambled to his feet. “Oh my God, you’re so bad. Just when I was getting comfortable watching some sports,” he teased.
“Well, if you aren’t interested, I guess I could get dressed.” She giggled and bent over to pick up her towel.
Jason hit the remote control button and shut the TV off. He walked over to his beauty and took her in his arms. Her legs were still wet from the shower and she was dripping on the floor. Jason kissed her neck and lifted her up in his arms and carried her to the bed leaving a trail of water on the floor. Emma was feeling more confident in the bedroom and at times she became the aggressor. He loved that about her. She was no longer shy when it came to sex. Jason brought out the woman in her and she loved him for that. She could arouse him out of a dead sleep. They were a perfect fit.
“Jason, let me do it all. I want to make you beg for me to stop.”
“Impossible. I don’t want you to ever stop. I love being with you. You turn me on more than any woman could ever do. You are a very special lady, Emma. I love you. Okay, you win. Have your way with me if you insist,” he said looking as though he were about to enter heaven.
* * *
After dinner they watched a little TV then Emma urged him to go home. “Don’t worry so much. I’ll be fine. My goodness, I’ve been living on my own for several years now. I think I can handle one night. Really, I’ll be fine. Call me when you get home and I’ll bet I’ll be half asleep already.”
“But–”
“Jason,” she snapped. “I have to do this sometime so it might as well be tonight. Really, I’m okay. What I imagine can’t possibly hurt me as long as I know the difference. I’ll be fine. I have to do this. I have to try.”
Jason seemed reluctant to leave her alone, but he kissed her and told her to lock the door behind him. He promised to call her as soon as he got home. Emma locked the door and turned the dead bolt. She went to the window and opened the blinds. Jason looked up and waved to her as he got into his car. He glance up one more time, then drove away. Emma closed the blinds and turned off the TV. She sat on the floor and played with Sam for a few minutes then put the dishes in the dishwasher and turned off the kitchen light. She was tired. She took off her bathrobe and got into her pajamas. Before brushing her teeth she decided to get a glass of milk. She had some cookies her mother baked the day before and she was in the mood for a quick snack. She grabbed a paper towel and a couple of cookies. She took her glass of milk and went into the living room. The phone rang. As she reached for it she knocked her glass over spilling her milk on the carpet. She yelled out, startling Sam. Emma threw her paper towel over the puddle and ran into the kitchen to get a dishtowel. The phone continued ringing a few more times and then there was silence. Emma figured it was Jason and as soon as she cleaned up the milk she dialed his number. The phone rang many times then his machine came on. How odd, she thought. He just called me. Oh no, I’ll bet he thinks something is wrong because I didn’t answer the phone. He’s probably on his way back here right now. She dialed his cell phone and this time he answered.
“Hi, Jason, I’m sorry about missing your call. I spilled milk all over the place and couldn’t get the phone. I’m okay. Don’t panic and come back here, please.”
“Huh?” he said, “I didn’t call you. I was just about to though. Did someone call? Check the caller ID to see who it was,” he suggested.
“Okay, hold on.” She looked at her phone to see who called. “It reads, caller unknown. Oh well, I thought it was you. Aren’t you home yet?” she asked.
“Almost, I still wish you had let me stay with you tonight,” he whined.
“Jason, I’m fine. I’m going to bed now. I’m tired and I have an early delivery in the morning. Are you coming over at lunch time?”
“I’ll call you in the morning and let you know. I’m not sure if I can get away, but I’ll do my best. Should I bring Veggie burgers for you and Marie if I can get away?”
“You read my mind. Sounds great, but don’t forget about Becky. She’ll be there too. She doesn’t go back to school until next week. We’re costing you plenty in lunches.” She giggled. “Okay, good night. I love you,” she whispered.
“Sweet dreams,” he said hanging up.
As Emma was getting ready for bed, her phone rang again. “Jason,” she said sounding a little perturbed. “Hello? Jason, is that you?” No one was there.
Emma figured it was probably just a wrong number, but it pissed her off that they couldn’t at least have said so. She looked at the caller ID, but again it read, caller unknown, number unknown. Emma hung up the phone and finished her cookies. Half an hour later she climbed into her bed. As she was falling off to sleep she was startled by a noise. She bolted up listening intently towards the living room. She rose and walked softly towards her bedroom door. She felt her heart begin to beat faster as she crept closer. The living room was dark. Sam was still lying on the floor where she had left him thirty minutes earlier. He didn’t seem disturbed and Emma thought perhaps he would have been awakened by the noise had it been in her apartment. She slipped over to the window and looked through the blinds down below. There wasn’t a soul around. She walked over to her front door and listened quietly. There it was again. She could hear something on the other side of the door. Oh my God, someone’s outside my door. She wanted to look through the peephole, but was afraid to move. She stood there stiff and frozen. Finally, ga
ining courage, she put her ear closer to the door and could hear what she thought was someone talking softly. She took a breath and looked through the peephole. “Crap,” she mumbled. Can you believe it? My neighbor has a boyfriend. She’s out in the hall kissing her boyfriend. What an idiot I am. Suddenly, she began to laugh out loud. She laughed her way back to the bedroom and jumped on her bed still laughing. Her door was locked and dead bolted. All her windows were locked. She was on the second floor. She was safe and secure. She drifted off to sleep. Many hours later she was awakened by the sun’s light in her eyes. She thought about last night for a moment, but decided not to tell anyone how she had been so frightened. She knew they would think she was having issues. It had been months since she had seen the man from her nightmares. He was gone and he was never coming back. She would tell them she went right to sleep and slept through the night without incident.
* * *
Jason wasn’t able to come for lunch, but they had dinner together that evening. He was tired and needed to be at the station early in the morning. Emma thought Jason wasn’t as uptight about leaving her this time. She knew it would only be a matter of time before it all felt normal. Emma knew he still worried about her constantly, but things were going to be okay.
As Jason was driving home he reflected on a conversation he had had with Dr. Williams. It was while Emma was still living with her parents that the doctor had tried to explain to him in a private conversation that Emma wasn’t well and that it could take years of therapy before she would be free of her nightmares and perhaps even longer for her mind to accept and or completely ignore the presence of the stranger. He also explained to Jason that Emma may always see this man and there could be others as well. He wanted Jason to be prepared for the worst in case this didn’t have a happy ending.
Jason had argued with the doctor that he felt Emma was doing much better. “Dr. William, Emma seems fine,” he had said. “She hasn’t had any nightmares that I know of and she hasn’t said anything about seeing that man anymore. I think she’s fine, really I do. We have had long talks about a future together. We have been seeing each other since last summer and we really feel this is a solid relationship. I just want to take care of her,” he had said trying to get Dr. Williams to understand that all Emma needed was some love and understanding and someone to take care of her.
“Jason, why do you feel Emma needs to be taken care of?”
“I know where you’re going with this, but I think you’re wrong. She isn’t sick. She just isn’t. She doesn’t act abnormal. My God, she acts like any ordinary person. Not someone who sees people who aren’t there,” he had said sounding defensive.
“Jason, she’s delusional. Not only does she see people that are not there, she believes them to be real. As real as you or I. She will see them and speak to them and she could even do what they ask of her. She may not be safe around children. Do you understand what that could mean? It might not be a good idea for her to have children. There are times when patients like Emma simply can’t be trusted. They believe things that just aren’t true and she could get worse. There could be huge problems for both of you. Are you sure this is what you want for your future? She has the love and trust of her family. They can care for her. I know you feel you need to protect her, but this only tells me that you know deep in your heart that she isn’t well.”
“Thanks for the advice, Dr. Williams, but you’re wrong,” Jason objected. “You’re so far off base here. No offense, but with those thoughts you could really con someone into thinking they were sick.” Angry and frustrated, he’d stormed out of the office.
Chapter Nineteen
February was a busy time for the flower shop. Valentine’s Day was soon approaching and Emma had been ordering red roses by the truckload. She had to hire extra help in January while Becky was in school since Marie wasn’t willing to work full time. She enjoyed part time and was also spending a lot of time with a man she met from her church.
“So, when do we get to meet your Mister Right?” Emma asked. “Becky tells me he calls you almost every day. I’m happy for you, Marie. If this is what you want then I think it’s wonderful.”
“Oh, it isn’t anything serious. We haven’t even, well you know,” she said blushing.
Emma was amused, remembering her first time with Jason. “Well, let’s just hope it happens soon, okay?”
“Emma, I wasn’t exactly talking about sex. I just meant we weren’t all that close yet,” she said quickly changing the subject. “I’ll bring him by to meet you soon, I promise. I’d like to get to know him better before I start introducing him to my friends and family. I haven’t mentioned him to my son or daughter yet. We’ve only had dinner a few times and a movie once. I don’t know why he calls me so much. Really, we aren’t that serious.”
Emma had a million things to do and so spending any more time talking to Marie about her love life would have to wait. She was curious though about this mystery man. Becky said she saw him once, but didn’t pay too much attention as to what he looked like except that he was old. Of course, anyone over twenty-five was old to Becky. She did say though that he looked younger than Marie.
Emma’s new employee was a retired policeman who just happened to love flowers. He was forty-four years old and had already put in his twenty years on the force. He decided to retire while he still had some good years ahead of him. Alan Byrnes was surprisingly calm and gentle considering his past life. He had spent most of his time as an officer in Chicago and a few years in Pittsburgh. He had worked his last six years on the force in Clayton County. He had worked mainly in high crime areas before coming to Clayton, but walked away without ever killing anyone or getting wounded. Jason got along well with Alan and they had endless conversations about one thing or another. Alan’s wife, Marissa was in real estate and was one of the top sellers in her office. She looked more like a model than the mother of three boys. Emma thought she was very pretty. She loved her long brown hair. Marissa usually wore it up and usually dressed in business suits. She always had a briefcase and a cell phone with her and it wasn’t unusual for her to excuse herself during dinner to discuss a sale.
The four of them became fast friends and had dinner together often. Alan warned Emma that she could only have him for a little while then he was opening up his own flower shop. He was serious and explained to Emma right away the day she hired him that he and his wife were planning to move to her home town near Madison, Wisconsin as soon as their youngest son graduated from high school. Marissa was planning on getting in with an upscale real estate office in Madison and Alan would follow his dream and open up his flower shop. Marissa’s parents were getting on in years and she wanted to be near them. Marissa and Emma were becoming great friends. Emma was happy to have a girlfriend. She really hadn’t been close with anyone other than family and now Jason. She was happily in love with Jason and now they had friends in common. Life was getting better and better. Emma felt Jason was very near proposing and she was going to accept. There was nothing she wanted more than to be his wife, despite everything Dr. Williams had told her.
One evening, while the four of them were having dinner, Emma asked Marissa and Alan if they were alright. They seemed to be acting a little strange or at least that was what Emma was picking up on. She looked at Marissa, but it was Alan that spoke first.
“Marissa has been offered a brokerage with the real estate office here in Clayton. This really throws a wrench in our plans to move to Wisconsin. They want her to be the broker for at least two years and we weren’t planning on staying here much longer. I wanted to get started on my business and now we really don’t know what to do. This is a wonderful opportunity for Marissa, but not so great for me.” He sounded a little pissed.
“It isn’t like I planned this,” Marissa said. “I want to move just as much as Alan does, but this could mean a few hundred thousand extra for our nest egg if we stay two more years. We could really use the extra money. Besides, it isn’t like we’re o
ld and gray. We have plenty of time to start over.”
Emma didn’t know what to say. It seemed this was between Alan and Marissa. She didn’t feel comfortable getting involved, but she felt she had to say something. “Listen you two. Whatever happens, I think you guys will work it out. Alan, if you end up staying in Clayton I would really like it if you would consider staying on at the shop. In the time you have been there I feel you have made such a difference. Honestly, I wish you would consider staying.” Emma was being truthful. Alan had helped her quite a bit. She was thankful to have his expertise. He had given her many ideas and shortcuts as well. The subject was dropped and they ate their dinner with just a little small talk.
“Hey, isn’t that Marie over there having dinner?” Jason blurted.
Emma looked over and could see it was Marie. The man she was with had to be her new boyfriend. Emma strained her eyes to see his face. Marie saw Emma and waved to her as her date turned to see whom she was waving at. Emma let out a gasp as she looked at the face of the man sitting with Marie.
Oh my God, It’s him. Oh God help me, it’s him. No. I won’t fall for this. It isn’t him because he isn’t real. He isn’t real. I killed him and he is gone for good. Marie’s date kept staring at Emma and then he smiled. Her hands began to shake and she could feel herself getting dizzy. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.