An Unsuitable Wife

by Lindsay Armstrong

  ‘Good. I wouldn’t like to think you were cross with me.’

  He said something inaudible and the flight was called. Sidonie stood up. She’d rehearsed this moment in her mind ever since waking up and she steeled herself to do it exactly as she’d rehearsed. She held out her hand to him and said with a wry little smile, ‘Take care of Morning Mist, Mike, and yourself. Bye!’

  He stood up, paused, then took her hand in his. ‘Goodbye, sweet Sid. You take care too.’ He released her hand.

  ‘I will!’ She picked up her hat, turned away and, as an afterthought—she hadn’t rehearsed this—looked down at it in her hands then put it on her head thinking that it might look quite inappropriate, even silly with what she wore, but she didn’t care. It was her one souvenir not only of the trip but of Mike, and somehow it strengthened her spirit to wear it.

  She walked away without a backward glance with her shoulders square and her beautiful hat square on her head. She’d barely shown them her boarding pass and was about to step out into the sunlight when she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders, and Mike Brennan swung her round and said in a furiously goaded voice, ‘What the hell am I going to do with you, Sidonie Hill?’

  Her mouth dropped open and the flowers on her hat bobbed. ‘I don’t know what you mean …’

  His blue eyes blazed. ‘I mean that I just can’t let you go, damn it!’

  CHAPTER FIVE

  ‘MIKE!’ she whispered, going red then pale. ‘I——’

  ‘And do you know why?’ he said savagely, his fingers digging into her thin shoulders. ‘My conscience wouldn’t give me a minute’s bloody peace. I’d be worried about you finding a job, finding somewhere to stay—falling into a pond and drowning yourself, for that matter, or simply starving.’

  The little pulse of hope that had fluttered in Sidonie’s heart died. ‘I——’

  ‘So for what it’s worth you can help me take the boat back to Tin Can Bay and somehow or other along the way we’ll hammer out a plan for the rest of your life and generally improve your basic survival skills so that I won’t ever have to watch you walk away again and feel as guilty as hell!’

  She found her tongue. ‘You don’t have to feel guilty about me. How do you think I feel now? Like some sort of Orphan Annie, like some kind of stray you’ve taken pity on, and it’s horrible!’

  ‘Well, you’d better just get used to it,’ he replied brutally.

  ‘Er——’ a voice said behind them and Sidonie looked around wildly, to discover there was a whole group of exceedingly interested people about them because they were blocking the exit.

  ‘Mike…’ She had some difficulty with her voice but the underlying plea was unmistakable. ‘Don’t do this to me. Anyway my bag’s already on the plane and——’

  ‘We’ll get it off.’ He released her shoulders but took her hand in a vice-like grip and turned to the uniformed official behind them. ‘Sorry, mate,’ he said with not the least trace of apology in his voice, ‘but we’ve had a change of plan. Could you help us to retrieve this person’s luggage?’

  ‘This person’ sat in a furious, trembling silence as she was driven back by buggy to the marina, had her hand once again taken in a strong grip and was given no option but to board Morning Mist.

  ‘And what’s more,’ Mike Brennan said to her when they were in the main cabin, his eyes still smouldering, ‘you won’t ever wear that outfit again because I’ll personally throw it away as soon as you’ve changed.’

  ‘I hate you——’

  ‘We both know you don’t,’ he overrode her but in more dispassionate tones, ‘so you might as well get changed, friend Sid. And then we’ll start making plans for Tin Can Bay.’

  She sat, about half an hour later, in a stern silence on the back of the boat. She’d changed into her white shorts and a blue and white spotted blouse and braided her hair into a plait. She had her arms around her knees and she was staring into space, not only feeling stern—numb and frozen was a better description—but also disbelieving.

  ‘Here,’ Mike said, and put a cup of tea accompanied by .a fresh chocolate êclair down beside her. ‘We need to talk.’

  ‘The mind boggles,’ she said tautly.

  ‘You said that to me once before,’ he commented equably. ‘It didn’t stop you coming with me then.’

  Sidonie muttered something incomprehensible and, because she was afraid she might start to cry, she took a sip of tea then a large bite of êclair.

  ‘I’m sorry if I offended you this morning, Sid,’ he said gravely. ‘You have some cream on your chin.’

  She wiped her chin with considerable chagrin. ‘Offended me?’ she marvelled. ‘If you must know I can’t ever recall feeling more of a fool.’

  ‘Still, I think it would help us both if we cleared the air,’ he murmured. ‘So you go first.’

  ‘I told you how I felt at the airport. Nothing, so far, has made me change my mind,’ she said bitterly.

  ‘Is that,’ he said in a deceptively idle way, ‘because for a moment there you were tempted to hope I was proposing a—closer relationship between us?’

  It was too much. She swung round with angry tears she couldn’t hide glittering in her eyes and said fiercely, ‘Don’t—just don’t mention that to me ever again, Mike Brennan. It has to be about as low as anyone can go.’

  ‘Look, Sid,’ he said evenly, ‘I did what I did in the heat of the moment.’ He paused and stared at her, taking in her pallor and the way her mouth worked as she valiantly tried to stem the tears. ‘For some strange reason it was the way you put on that hat that did it. It was…about the most gallant gesture I’ve ever seen and it negated every damned bit of good sense I’ve been offering myself for—days. So—no,’ he said drily, as she made to interrupt, ‘let me finish, let me lay my cards on the table. I can’t offer you love and there are a whole lot of reasons for that, but I can offer you friendship for a while and perhaps I can even help you to sort your life out a bit.’

  Her lips parted. ‘How?’ she whispered.

  ‘I have some contacts in Melbourne, in the aircraft maintenance industry as a matter of fact. In light of how fascinating you find diesel motors I’m sure jet engines would delight you.’

  Her eyes were suddenly huge then she blinked confusedly and swallowed several times.

  ‘Drink your tea and finish your êclair,’ he said wryly.

  She did as she was bid then said through a mouthful of êclair, ‘I—I beg your pardon——’ she swallowed again hastily ‘—I don’t know what to say.’

  His lips twisted. ‘Yes would do it. Although,’ he sobered, ‘you said something to me the other day about not being a lost cause. Believe me, Sid, I am, in that way.’ And his eyes were a deep, penetrating blue.

  ‘Could you tell me why?’ The words were out before she could stop them so she decided fatalistically that she might as well go on. ‘I mean, is it only me or—well, is it only me? I—’ she shook her head and gestured vigorously ‘—I promise I won’t be offended.’

  ‘No,’ the said rather gently, ‘it’s not only you although that has something to do with it. I might as well be light-years away from you in experience as well as a good few years ahead in age. I…’ He stopped and looked into the distance.

  ‘Would it be fair to say you prefer your women older and more sophisticated?’ she suggested after a time.

  He brought his gaze back to her then smiled reluctantly and with some irony. ‘Something like that but—’

  She forestalled him. ‘I understand completely. Please don’t worry about me being totally demolished, incidentally. I’m…’ she paused and wondered how to put it ‘… I’m very resilient for one thing and—’ she looked down at her hands ‘—despite all my other failings not an insensitive sort of person.’ She looked up and smiled at him. ‘I feel better already. So if you’re really sure you want to take me along, should we look at the charts?’

  He stared at her, seemed about to say something then chang
ed his mind and said, ‘You’d better ring your friends in Melbourne; use the sea-phone, it actually doesn’t cost a lot. It’s also Saturday—will she be home?’

  ‘Yes …’

  But their departure was delayed by a week firstly by a strong-wind warning then the discovery that the auto-pilot was amiss and they had to get an electronics expert from the mainland who disconnected it and took it away with him for repairs.

  It was obvious that this turn of events was causing Mike to chafe at the bit, and equally obvious that Tim Molloy, not to mention Karen, who were staying at the Hamilton Towers hotel for race week, now upon them, were delighted—at first, that was. Because it then became obvious that Karen had set her sights on Mike.

  Perhaps she can’t help herself, Sidonie tried to think charitably, and anyway it’s none of my business. But as that hectic week passed with all the excitement of the racing and associated parties, Tim started to get deflated, Mike more than ever inscrutable and Karen—well, she glowed and became even more sultry and attractive.

  It was probably inevitable that things should come to a head one night and that it should be a dance party that would do it. Sidonie hadn’t wanted to go but Tim had insisted they all go and Mike shrugged non-committally. She wore her special dress but Karen looked spectacular in emerald-green diaphanous harem pants, a tiny top, long gold earrings, gold shoes and gold belt.

  Why are you doing this, Tim? Sidonie asked him silently on the veranda above Mariner’s as the music pulsed and dancers began to take to the floor. But Tim got up with every appearance of a jovial man with not a thing on his mind and took Karen away to dance. Mike stared over the veranda at the cluster of masts in the moonlight then said to her with a brief smile, but a totally moody expression in his eyes. ‘Do you dance, Sid?’

  She swallowed a bit uncertainly. ‘I do and I don’t.’

  ‘I might have known it would be complicated,’ he murmured with a lift of an eyebrow. ‘Would you care to explain?’

  She pursed her lips. ‘I can do the sailors’ hornpipe and the Highland fling. I’m not much good at anything else.’

  He blinked. ‘Where, one hesitates to enquire, did you learn those two?’

  ‘A sailor taught me the hornpipe and a Scot the Highland fling. Which seems to me the obvious way to go about it,’ she added innocently.

  He laughed and she relaxed. ‘They were both friends of my father and I was about six at the time. I—er—that was another thing that got me into trouble during my brief stint as a teacher.’

  ‘You taught them to dance as well as play poker?’

  ‘Yes. It wasn’t greatly appreciated.’ She grimaced.

  ‘What did they come up with this time? That you could be turning them into compulsive dancers?’

  She grinned. ‘No, they said it was highly disruptive—it is actually very difficult to do either of those dances without making a lot of noise.’

  ‘I believe you.’ He stopped and looked up as Karen and Tim returned.

  ‘A round of drinks, everyone? It’s my shout,’ Tim said immediately and lumbered off to the bar.

  But Karen slid her hand across the table and said huskily, ‘Dance with me, Mike?’

  He looked into her dark eyes with his own narrowed for a long moment then got up without a word.

  Sidonie sat back and watched them, her thoughts in a tangle, and more so when Tim came back, sized up the situation and sat down despondently. And it was impossible not to go on watching Mike and Karen because it soon became obvious they were the best dancers as well as the most spectacular couple on the floor. And there was something in the way Mike looked down at Karen and in the way his hands lingered on her body that told its own tale.

  Sidonie did look away at last and opened her mouth to say something comforting to Tim, but she closed it because what could you say? And anyway, at that same moment, some people he knew. walked past and he hailed them and insisted they sit down and have a drink. So she got introduced as his little friend Sid but not long afterwards was able to slip away quietly.

  She took a few deep breaths on the pavement and then on an impulse hailed a cruising shuttle, discovered it was going to the other side of the island and went for a ride.

  It was quiet as she wandered through the main resort complex with nearly all of the action taking place on the harbourside tonight, she guessed, and she walked out to the dolphin pool and stood on the bridge looking. out to sea. And she tried to tell herself she shouldn’t worry, she shouldn’t care but it didn’t help although eventually the peace and cool night air lessened her feeling of distress and she decided to walk back up over the hill to the boat. .

  The music was still booming and pulsing as she walked past Mariner’s but it was as she came to the grassy slope overlooking the harbour known as Hesperus Park that she noticed Tim sitting on the lawn with his head in his hands. She hesitated then sighed, and went to sit down beside him.

  ‘Tim,’ she said tentatively, ‘are you all right?’

  He looked up blearily. ‘Well, if it isn’t my little friend Sid! We make at good pair, dam we? Both stood up in a manner of speaking.’

  ‘Not really—well, not me.’ Sidonie bit her lip. ‘I mean to say, I had no expectations…’ She tailed off awkwardly.

  ‘I’d like to make a bet you’re as smitten with him as all the others, though.’

  Sidonie thought of lying but it didn’t seem fair. ‘I do love him,’ she said seriously. ‘But it’s a bit different—I know he could never be for me, you see. So I mostly worry about him being happy—it’s very hard to explain.’

  ‘I wouldn’t say Karen feels the same,’ Tim said bitterly then sighed heavily.’ ‘I bought her that outfit, you know. Not that she needed me to buy her clothes but as soon as I saw it I could see her in it, and now…Bitch,’ he said helplessly.

  ‘I must admit I wondered—no.’ Sidonie changed tack and tried again. ‘He’ll probably sail away and that will be that. He…I don’t know a lot about him,’ she confessed, ‘but he strikes me as‘ real loner.’

  Tim rubbed his face then said, ‘He is a real loner. That’s why he has to fight girls off; they just can’t bear it,’ he said cynically. ‘And when they know what he does for a living it gets worse.’

  ‘What does he do for a living?’ Sidonie asked cautiously.

  Tim laughed a little unkindly. ‘I got the message he hadn’t told you. Did you really think he bums around the South Pacific nursing other people’s boats for them, little Sid? He’s the ace test pilot for a huge overseas aircraft manufacturer. He’s the best, most naturally gifted God-damned pilot I’ve ever seen. He’s got no nerves, he thrives on the unexpected—and that’s a natural turn-on for most women, dangerous men doing dangerous jobs—until they try to pin him down to walking up the aisle with them, that is. But is it any wonder being even a glorified dentist falls down by comparison?’

  ‘Oh!’ Sidonie whispered, her eyes huge. ‘So…’ Words failed her briefly. ‘I mean, what’s he doing now?’

  ‘He takes a couple of months off every year and gets into yachting as a form of relaxation. And gradually, over the years, he’s upgraded his boats, to this one. Not short of a quid either, is our Mike. But he doesn’t like too many people, particularly of the female persuasion, to know that either.’

  ‘I see.’ Sidonie expelled a deep breath and felt her face redden for several reasons. ‘Do I look like a fortune huntress to you, Tim?’ she said indignantly finally.

  ‘Not you, Sid,’ Tim said wryly and gave her a little hug. Then he sighed again to the depths of his being.

  ‘But you can never tell with most women,’ he added bleakly.’

  ‘That’s not a nice thing to say, Tim,’ she said quietly.

  ‘I’m not feeling very nice,’ he commented. ‘And look at Karen—she was quite happy for me to spend money on her for all that I didn’t have to…’ He swore beneath his breath.

  ‘It seems to me Mike is a little bit to blame too,’ she said w
ith a frown.

  ‘Because I’m a friend of his? You’re right but unfortunately—oh, well, I might as well tell you the whole caboodle! You see, Mike fell in love with a girl once, seriously in love with her, and she with him. But she couldn’t bear what he did; she wanted him to settle down to a nine-to-five job and come home to her and the kids, once they came, every evening. She didn’t realise you can’t change a bloke like Mike, you can’t clip his wings, so it all ground to a halt because she got this stupid idea in her head that if he really loved her he’d be happy to do it.’ He shook his head.

  ‘She doesn’t sound like a very wise person,’ Sidonie ventured.

  ‘Who is when it comes to love? I tried to tell her but she wouldn’t listen. And one day. she went out and married someone else, something I think she’s regretted ever since.’

  ‘How do you know all this, Tim?’

  ‘Because she happens to be my sister,’ he said morosely.

  Sidonie stared at him. ‘Oh, Tim, it wasn’t your fault, though.’

  ‘No, although I was the idiot who introduced them to each other in the first place. But I just can’t help feeling a bit responsible, which is why, I suppose, if it had been anyone else but bloody Mike Brennan, I’d, be wanting to punch his face in.’ He breathed agitatedly.

  ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea at all,’ Sidonie said hurriedly. ‘Tim,’ she added gently, ‘perhaps Karen is just not the one for you.’

  ‘Sid——’ he turned to her ‘—when the hell does that ever make any difference?’

  Which, of course, was something she had no answer for. So after a time she suggested that they couldn’t sit in the park all night and asked him what he wanted to do.

  ‘Go back to the boat, I guess,’ he said and lurched a bit unsteadily to his feet. ‘She can have the hotel room for whatever she’s got in mind! She can also find her own way off this bloody island—don’t be surprised if you find yourself flying back after all tomorrow, Sid!’