Hindsight

by Leddy Harper

I went to the front of the building, being pulled by the two brown puppies on their leashes. Sean’s face beamed as he saw me approach and then a laugh filled the room once he saw what I had with me.

  “What do we have here?” he asked as he bent down to pet the dogs.

  “Zeke and Zora… our new babies.” Nerves suddenly attacked my stomach, fearing his response. I knew I should have asked him first, but was so caught up in the ability to make my own decisions that I hadn’t thought twice about it.

  He looked up at me with glowing eyes. “Just as long as this isn’t your way of saying you don’t want to have real babies… of the human kind. With me…”

  My heart sank, not realizing how he might have taken it. I shook my head and said, “Of course not. I mean, of course I do. Want to have babies with you. Of the human kind,” I stammered. “I just thought we could start out with these two. You know, until we get married and all.”

  His smile grew on his face, causing the creases next to his eyes to become pronounced. “I wasn’t going to do this yet. I told myself I would just buy it and wait until things had calmed down, but fuck it.” He adjusted himself on the floor, reaching into his pocket as the dogs licked his face and pounced on him. Once he righted himself again, he grabbed my hand, the one holding the leashes, and looked me in the eyes. “Marry me, Char. Spend the rest of your life letting me make you happy.”

  I was used to being told what to do, but nothing ever made me want to do it as much as his demand did. I couldn’t answer, not trusting my voice enough through the falling tears. I nodded and then he slipped the most beautiful diamond ring on my finger. I didn’t care that my divorce wasn’t finalized or that I hadn’t even been home for five days yet. All that mattered to me was that I was finally getting my happily ever after. The one I never thought I would see.

  Sean stood and pulled me into him, holding the back of my neck gently as he kissed me with so much passion I thought I’d fall over. Both dogs jumped on us, one on my back and one on his, pushing us even closer together. They knew what they were doing and we hadn’t even gotten them home yet.

  “Go get a room,” Norma teased from behind me. She held out a bag full of puppy goodies and then gave me a hug. “Congratulations, you two. I’m so happy for you.”

  We thanked her and then left.

  Just before dinner, I decided to take the puppies for a walk. Sean wanted to go with me but I insisted I just needed some quiet air to breathe after all of the excitement of the day. I had told him about Charlie and he didn’t like it, but I assured him I was fine. He was still in the protective mindset, and I understood that. But I told him I needed him to tame it some if he wanted me to feel relaxed. He understood and started dinner as I took the dogs for a walk.

  I was on my way home when I saw a woman sitting alone outside of the park. She was sitting on the bench with a drink in her hand, looking off in the distance. Something was on her mind, I could tell from her posture. As I came closer to her, I realized who it was and began to walk faster, hoping to avoid a confrontation.

  “Charlotte?” I heard her meek voice ask as I passed her.

  I stopped and spun around, hoping to convey the confidence I felt.

  She smiled as she stood. “Listen, I just wanted to apologize to you. I know you don’t want to hear it and I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I need to say it,” Laurie said, closing the distance between us. “I was stupid and believed everything he had told me. I never knew it was as bad as it was. Trust me, had I known, I would have never allowed any of it to happen. He told me things… about you… about your marriage, and I believed him. I thought he loved me. I thought he was telling me the truth.”

  I could only shrug, not having a clue as to what to say to her.

  “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. So I’m not asking for it. I just wanted to apologize for my behavior, for my stupidity in not realizing it sooner.”

  “He had everyone fooled, Laurie. Everyone. Don’t blame yourself. There was no way you could have known. I know exactly how thick that wool is that he pulls over everyone’s eyes. You don’t have to ask for my forgiveness… you have it anyway. Just take this lesson for what it was. I know I am. Don’t let anyone stifle your voice. You are a smart woman and you should be heard. That includes you. Listen to yourself from now on. If a man wants to fuck you in front of his wife to teach her a lesson, that should be a red flag.”

  Her head dropped and I heard her suck in a healthy breath of air.

  “But I’m not putting all of that on you. You weren’t the only one there. He’s manipulative, yes. But we both allowed it to happen. Never again. That’s all I have to say about it. I’m putting Tony and that time behind me. I’m moving forward. You should do the same.”

  She nodded and looked back up into my eyes. “I will. Take care, Charlotte. I hope you find immense happiness in your future.”

  I smiled, thinking of the man at home waiting for me. “I already have.”

  Without another word, I turned and walked away. Leaving it all in the past with the rest of my hindsight as I headed toward my future which was as bright as the day is long.