by Sansa Gold
Beads of water rolled down his body and gathered at the towel wrapped around his waist. It was nice having a hot shower in the privacy of his own home. He had grown accustomed to showering with at least a couple more soldiers. He had changed so much in the last year.
Gone was the scrawny boy who left his small little farm town. The one that was full of dreams and a sense of adventure. In his place a man returned. One that wanted his own family.
He opened the door and tip toed down the hallway. For now, he was going to avoid Ashley at all costs.
When he was in the shower, heard the front door slammed shut. Her boots echoed throughout the house as she ran to the bathroom door. She banged on the door, pleading with him to open it and talk. He couldn't do it, not when he had just embarrassed himself. Eventually, she grew tired of pounding and slammed the door to her bedroom.
He was going to have to talk to her, eventually. There was no way around that. Especially, since she planned a whole get together at the family barn. There was no way that he would get out of that, not without getting a swift palm to the head by his father.
His eyes looked around the room. Nothing had changed since he left. Trophies and ribbons were still scattered on the wall. Former relics of his football days as a quarterback. On the other side of his room, pictures of his family and him hung on the wall. He grabbed the one that he treasured the most.
In it Ashley and him were both covered in mud. They smiled and waved as the camera as they held the trophy with each hand. Ashley was always one to never take no for an answer. That's what he loved the most about her.
All it took was for someone to tell her no. One summer, some old timer during football practice told her to get off the field. That it was no place for girls. Denon chuckled as he remembered how she scrunched up her eyebrows. She grabbed the nearest football uniform and pads. How, despite her mother's requests, she took her place next to me and told him to hike the ball. Everyone soon found out, she was more agile and slicker than the older guys on the team.
At first other teams thought that we were joking around. Ashley proved them wrong again and again as she weaved through their best players. From there on the team went to have their best record, winning the conference cup as a result. At the end, the old timer came up to her and apologized. After, she quit right there on the spot, this time to the protest of the coaches.
That was the thing about Ashley, she didn't do it cause it was fun. She did it to prove a point to that old man and those around her. People were not limited by their gender, only those who held them down. It was that attitude that made Denon step out of his comfort zone and join the army.
He looked at the opposite wall where Ashley was most likely lying on her bed. For as long as he remembered her wanted to help people. The problem was that he didn't know how to do it. There was little he could do to help people in a small town in the middle of no where.
When the army came to his school it was like a calling for him. They presented him with the solution to his problem. He could go around the world helping those in need, maybe save a life or two along the way.
Basic training was a breeze to him. The constant four years of sports prepared him for the physical endurance part. Even, the educational aspect of it wasn't too hard to grasp. Then again, the army couldn't make it too hard. Since they took everybody and anybody. He trained with some the brightest people he ever met. There were also those that had their light bulb unscrewed at some point. In the end, when they were on the battlefield it didn't matter. Everyone became the same person. The same person that wanted to go home to their family. The army was not what Denon had envisioned.
Out there he didn't bring the help that he wanted. In the footsteps of the army only a path of destruction remained. All in search for the weapons of mass destruction. They never did find any. At least during his deployment.
He lost count how many times his sergeant punished him for trying to stay behind and help. Help the people in those torn countries rebuild and move forward. The army wasn't what he wanted to do. Soon it became about doing his time and coming home to see his family. To see Ashley. Her watery lifeless eyes formed in front of him.
This was becoming unbearable. She just on the other side of the wall. He just had to go and knock on her door. She would understand if he just explained himself. Explain to her that it was all a big misunderstanding. That he had wrapped up in the emotion of being away for so long, that he had lost control.
"Denon, you home?" His father's voice boomed from downstairs. His shoes banging on the floorboards as he climbed the stairs. Those floorboards were the death of him during high school.
Every step echoed throughout the house, thanks to those floorboards. It was Ashley's idea to slide down the handrail to get rid of all the noise. When they came home they were free to use the stairs. His father's snores would drown out the noise. His door crashed into the side of his wall as his Dad rushed at him.
"Dad, I'm not dressed yet. Get out!" He blurted as he held on the loose towel around his waist.
"Like that's going to stop me. I've seen you naked before Den." His father bear hugged Denon until his world began to spin. He began to wheeze as he tried to take in the precious air. Hard to do with his Dad's massive arms gripping at his back.
"Put. Me. Down," he squeezed out with what little air remained. The stars danced at the outskirts of his eyes and the world began to grow dark.
"Put him down, Howard," a voice behind his father blurted out. The sheets of his bed wrapped around his body as his father threw him on it.
"Can't a father show his son a little affection?" his booming voice filling up the room. Denon felt the soft cotton sheets envelop as his surroundings came back into focus. His hand still clenched at the towel around his waist, his knuckles bone white. He coughed a couple times as his step mother sat next to him.
"He just got home and you almost killed him," she cried out as her hands rested on Denon's back. He coughed a couple more times before looking back at his dad.
"It's good to see you to, Dad." He held out his hand and his father shook it frantically.
"See, Margret he's fine." His palm slapped against his bicep, shaking his whole body. The old man still had that bear strength that most fathers seemed to relish. It probably had to do with the fact that his father was a farmer all his life.
"Have you seen Ashley yet?" Her voice filled with concern as she rubbed his back.
"Yea, earlier this afternoon at the barn."
"Well, there goes the surprise," his father chuckled. The buttons on his shirt strained as his belly roared. "Listen Denon I want the family to have dinner before the festivities start tonight. Just like old times. What do you say?"
"That sounds great, Dad. Just let me get dressed and I'll be right down."
"Not a problem, buddy." Howard grabbed hold of his wife and ushered her out of the room.
With the door closed Denon threw his head back on the bed. This was going to be the most awkward dinner. For a moment he wished he was back in the Middle East. He would take shrapnel and bombs over this dinner any day.
Chapter 3
Ashley
This just wasn't going to be Ashley's day. She looked down at the different dresses in front of her, none of them were good enough. No matter how much time she spent looking for something to wear it wouldn't be good enough. Nothing she would wear would make Denon talk to her. She couldn't figure out exactly what happened.
One moment she was there comforting him, getting him to talk. Some was bothering him at the time, that she was sure of. She thought she was being a good sister. The next minute his lips pressed softly against hers. It all felt too good to be real. The soothing touch of his lips as he nibbled her skin. His hands holding the back of her head gently. Then, out of no where he runs off before she could even completely take in the moment.
She tried to make it right by coming straight home and trying to talk it out with him. She pleaded with him to open the do
or and he never answered. Her hands still hurt from banging on that wooden bathroom door. She didn't understand why he was being like this. He never even gave her a chance to tell him how she felt.
She needed to let him know that her heart had jumped when he kissed her. That she was glad she wasn't the only way that felt this way. She wanted someone to talk about it all. Someone to experience and get through it together. It was obvious that they couldn't throw their feelings for each other to the side. Especially, when he didn't seem to be holding it together too well.
A idea popped in her head, something that might speak to Denon. To let him know that she wanted what he wanted. That she was still here to hear him out, even if he turned his back on her hours ago.
"Ashley, the food's getting cold. You coming down?" Her mother hollered from downstairs.
"Be right there." She pulled up the torn short jeans and rushed down the stairs.
Different kinds of smells hit her like an avalanche. Smells that hadn't filled the house since Denon left. She knew that Mom had gone all out and cooked his favorites. It was the only way that she could show him how much she missed him.
Her stomach grumbled as she saw the spread around the corner. Everything was in place, they hadn't started without her. It was a family tradition to wait for everyone before anyone dug on in.
The old family table was back in the dining room. The one that her father put away since they hardly ever had dinner since Denon left. It was much too large for only the three of them. There was no need for it. Plus, most of the time it was just an order of takeout and everyone went to their room. She looked at the table and knew that this was going to be an awkward dinner.
The ornate table fit the four them quite well, two on either side. On one side was her mother and stepfather. On the other was an empty chair, Denon sitting right next to her.
Ashley tried to get his attention. Anything to let him know that they would be alright. Nothing. He was talking with his father, laughing like the good old days. No one had given her any attention.
"Aren't you going to sit already?" her mother giggled as she pushed Ashley's chair out with her toes.
As soon as she sat down the attack began. Howard's spoon lashed for the potatoes as Denon's hand shot for the chicken leg. The plates clacked and glasses clinked as everything came to life. Mom looked at Ashley and rolled her eyes. She always hated when they did that, diving into the food like some kind of animals. Usually, she yelled at them. Today, she just sat back and watched.
Once the two men of the house got their food, Ashley grabbed went for the salad. She put a couple spoonfuls on her plate and sat.
"That's it?" The chair screeched as Howard stood, pushing the chair back with his legs. "That's no where near enough to be a good meal for you." He grabbed the ladle, digging it into the mashed potatoes. He took a big scoop and aimed it for her plate.
"Stop!" She blurted out.
He held it out for a few seconds a look of confusion on his face. She covered the plate with her hand, there was no way he was getting any of it on her plate. He looked at her for a bit and dropped the ladle back in the bowl. "Denon can you talk some sense into her? Girls shouldn't be starving themselves to look like those bullshit models in the papers. Its all fake anyway," he grumbled as he dove back into his food.
Denon looked at my plate, "That's it sis?" His eyes full of concern as he looked up.
Ashley nodded.
She had always been the bigger girl in high school. A little more curves than what the boys wanted. Ever since Denon left, it had gotten a little out of control. She knew I had the humps in all the right places, but none of the boys seemed to care. Her chance in college were slim if she didn't watch her figure. Now, that Denon didn't seem to want her.
"How come?" He bit at the tip of his chicken breast, crunching the end of it. She could see what Mother meant about them looking like a pack of animals. They never left a scrap of food on their plate. Everything always had to off their plate. Growing up poor had conditioned Denon to eat that way. She could never understand it.
"Boys don't like big girls," she whispered. She rammed her fork through a small tomato.
"See that's what's wrong with boys today. They think that they know what they want. How are they going to have any fun of the skinny cheerleader breaks under them?" His head shot around the room. .
"Denon!" Mother yelled at him. Howard started to choke and hit his chest like a gorilla. He coughed up some food and roared with laughter.
"That was never me. A little cushion was what I always loved." He grabbed his chicken leg and waved it around in the air as if he was king of the house. He took a bite of it, "You know what they always say; a cushion for the pushing." He grabbed a spoonful of mashed potatoes and stuffed his mouth. Howard pounded a closed fist on his chest. The other banged on the table, sending the silver wear dancing about.
Denon looked around the room and just raised his shoulders. "That's just how I see it." He turned his attention to Ashley, who was trying her best not to turn beet red like her mother. "Don't worry about putting on a little weight sis." He winked at her and turned his attention back on the chicken leg.
Howard beat his chest several more times. He finally grabbed a glass of water and chugged it down. He slammed the glass onto the table and looked around the room. Mom's eyes looked down at her plate. She played with her mashed potatoes. Her neck was rigid and eyes glued to her plate.
Ashley's eyes wandered the room low, trying to gauge the temperature of the room. There was an awkward silence that filled the whole room. No one wanted to say anything because no one was sure where to take it from here. The only one who didn't seem bothered by everything that just happened was Denon.
"Its hard not to agree with him," Howard quipped as surveyed his wife.
She dropped her fork onto the plate. A loud clink erupted as the silverware hit against the porcelain. Her hand shot into the air, "I will not have this kind of talk at the dinner table." She threw her apron onto the table and curtly turned around. Her heels connected with the floor like hoofs on concrete. Howard rolled his eyes and went after her.
A chair screeched as Denon got up from his seat. Ashley held her breath as he moved passed her. The smell of his cologne wafting into her nose. Just one whiff of it brought Ashley back in time to the night when she dropped him off at the bus station. She couldn't go any longer with him being angry at her. She needed to make it right, otherwise the whole party was for nothing.
The sound of his footsteps thundering up the stairs awoke Ashley from her trance. "Denon!" She lunged back, the back of the chair tilting over. She rounded the corner. Denon was at the top of the stairs, his blue eyes looking down at her. She grabbed the side of the rail wanting to get closer to her.
"What?" His voice stung her. It hit her right at the core of her being. This was the first time that he had ever replied to her like that. She finally began to understand how much she had hurt him. There was one thing that Ashley was certain of. She never wanted to hurt him like that again.
"I'm sorry." The words fell out of her mouth. She wasn't sure where she would go from here. She wasn't even entirely sure what exactly had gone from to make him so upset. It was obvious that he was hurting.
"Sorry for what?" He crossed his arms and waited. The navy blue shirt tightened around his chest as his arms flexed. His shirt clamped around his biceps, giving them the nice flowing s-shape.
Ashley tried to find the words that would please him. Any word that would bring everything to how it was. Not how it is. The words that would rewind time and let them be friends.
"I'm sorry for hurting your feelings."
His face scrunched up and he shook his head from side to side. "That's it? Your sorry for hurting my feelings? It sounds to me like you have no idea what your sorry for." He grabbed the doorknob and pushed inside his room.
Her heels hit the steps with such force that the wooden railing began to shake. "Denon, just tell me what's wron
g." Her eyes grew watery. Her lashes grew hard to open with each blink.
Just as the door was about to close his eyes met hers. He opened his mouth and then closed it. Once more his head swung from left to right. The door slammed shut and clicked with the lock going in place.
Ashley slammed her fists against the door. Her curled hands dragged against the old wooden door. This wasn't happening right now. She thought that she had gotten through to him for a moment. Now she was back at step one. She slammed her forehead against the door, her body falling to the ground.
"Denon, just open the door and talk to me," she muttered out to him. She waited to her his footsteps at the door. Anything to let her know that he would give her another chance. A chance at forgiveness.
Instead, the radio in his room blared to life. The volume cranked up to a deafening volume. His answer was clear to her. She pulled herself up and shut the door to her room.
Chapter 4
Denon
When her shadow was gone, Denon lowered the volume of his stereo. He was fighting every urge to go out there and wrap his arms around. To touch her cheeks with his palms and move the loose curly hair out of her eyes. Let the beats of their hearts meld together as they held each other close. All that would be amazing, but he just couldn't do it. Denon loved Ashley with all his heart, but, yet now every time he thought of her it hurt.
Every picture of her in his mind replaced with her stoic look from earlier today. The stoic look that told him that this wasn't what she wanted. The look that told him that he had been wrong this whole time. That she didn't feel the same way about him. That he had wasted every night during service thinking of her like that. Denon should have moved on past Ashley, found someone else to fall in love with. Someone who wasn't his step sister.