Light Within Me

by Fall, Carly

  And the day at Tahoe . . . he would never, ever be able to go back there without thinking of Abby. Who would have thought there would be an actual drink called a Wet Woody? And strip poker? It had taken him a few minutes to figure out how you played poker and ended up running home in your underwear, but he finally got it. Instead of money, you played with clothes. Although the thought of anyone seeing Abby in her underwear didn’t sit well with him, but the story was still really funny.

  And that kiss at the dock. He couldn’t believe how their tongues moving against each other affected him. He marveled at it.

  And don’t even get him started on what happened on the couch.

  He felt like he had received a lifetime of education in the field of human females in a day.

  There was no doubting it: Abby was intelligent and funny, and he liked being around her. He liked the way she made him feel whether she was kissing him, whether he was making her orgasm, or if they were just talking. His two beings were warring again, and he found it easier and easier to ignore the uptight warrior within.

  He arrived at the silo about a half hour after dark. He went through the routine of pushing the remote to open the gate, parking the car, pushing the buttons on the keypad, banging down the metal stairs, and then hitting the next keypad.

  He stopped for a moment and listened. It sounded like his boys were banging around the pool table, some Led Zeppelin making its way through the speakers.

  He went into the room and stood at the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest. Hudson’s yellow eyes were the first to meet his. Noah watched as Hudson’s face turned to shock. Talin and Cohen turned in greeting and froze. All three stared at him as if he had just given birth to alligators right there on the carpet.

  “Holy shit,” Talin whispered.

  Someone muted the stereo. What the fuck? Was his fly undone or something? He knew he was still a bit hard, but it shouldn’t be noticeable under his T-shirt, should it?

  Hudson smiled. “Well, well, well. Look at you.”

  He didn’t know what the male was referring to, but he decided to play it off.

  “What’re you talking about, Hudson? Don’t I match or something today? Is my clothing choice affecting your delicate fashion sensibilities?” He full expected to get smacked upside the head for that one, but it never came. Hudson met his stare, and he arms crossed over his chest as his eyes narrowed.

  “Go find a mirror, Noah. Then let’s talk about your sensibilities. Or, most likely, lack thereof.”

  Noah went to the formal dining room that was never used. In there, on the far side of the room, hung a large rectangular mirror. He walked around the oak hand-carved table and chairs that sat sixteen. Before he looked in the mirror, he began to ready the insults he would throw at those cocksuckers. They were right behind him.

  As he caught his reflection in the mirror, he stopped. It was light, but it was there. A glowing orange radiated around his form. His whole form. He took a couple of steps forward and touched his reflection in the glass. His eyes met those behind him—the bright yellow of Hudson, the shocking blue of Talin, and the violet purple of Cohen.

  “So,” Talin drawled, his voice bathing in sarcasm and meeting Noah’s gaze, “let’s see. What could get Noah in a lather and make him turn orange?” The male crossed one arm over his chest and rubbed his chin as if he were actually thinking about it. “Gosh, I don’t know. Oh, wait. That would be a female.”

  Noah looked at his image again. His whole body was outlined in a soft orange glow. He had never seen this in himself before. But then again, he had never felt pleasure before in his human form. It was something that he was not supposed to feel. He knew the consequences—if he went to that place of absolute pleasure, where he fell in love and made love to the woman he loved, his SR44 form would flee his human body, and he would simply become a human and begin to age. He was somewhat close to that now because the glow had taken form around him, his SR44 body getting ready to evacuate. And the fact that he had been with Abby almost forty-five minutes ago? He had come close to losing his SR44 from, closer than he had realized. He shouldn’t be glowing like this now.

  As dread and panic washed through his body, he watched the glow around him slowly diminish and then totally burn out. He looked at his orange eyes in the mirror, then met the bright orbs behind him.

  He needed to escape, to think through this. He turned to leave.

  “Not so fast,” Talin said, stopping Noah in his tracks with a hand to the chest. “We need to know what’s going on, man.” When Noah didn’t say anything, Talin continued. “Noah, where did you . . . where did you see the female?”

  “Reno,” he mumbled.

  “Reno!” Hudson said loudly. “Reno? Like almost an hour ago? Jesus, Noah! You shouldn’t still be glowing! Did you fuck her?”

  Noah felt the anger rise within him. No one fucked Abby. Abby was to be worshipped and revered, not fucked like one of Hudson’s whores.

  “No,” he bit out.

  Hudson narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t sleep with her, and you’re still glowing?” He shook his head as Noah chose not to answer.

  “If you didn’t sleep with her and you’re glowing, you have a problem,” Talin said quietly. “The problem is that you’re getting attached, and that has to stop. Like yesterday.”

  Do you want it to stop? his non-warrior voice chimed in.

  He closed his eyes and thought about the answer to that. No. Yes. Shit. Yes. No. Dammit.

  He rubbed his face and pushed Talin ‘s hand away. “Going to my quarters,” he growled, hoping to send the signal that he didn’t want any company. He didn’t want to discuss anything.

  He made it to the elevator without anyone trailing behind him. At least they had gotten the hint on that one. He was surprised that no one came after him, but perhaps they realized that he needed to be alone, to think this through. As he went into his quarters and tugged off his boots, he took a deep breath and tried to focus.

  Hudson had been with human women, and he had kept it together. He still had his SR44 form. Cohen had as well. Noah could get some pointers from him. He sure as shit wasn’t talking to Hudson. That comment about fucking Abby really grated on his nerves.

  He fell back on his bed. He could not lose his SR44 form. There wasn’t any compromise on that.

  He had to finish the job he was sent to do. The duty and honor of the warrior in him swelled.

  Maybe he could also walk the fine line of enjoying the pleasures of Earth, as Cohen and Hudson did, yet keep his SR44 form so that he would have longer on Earth to eradicate his species’ mistakes. To stop the killings of the Colonists.

  He dialed his phone. On the third ring, Cohen picked up.

  “You busy, man?”

  “Nah, just kicked Cohen’s ass in pool. Now it’s his turn to stomp Hudson.”

  “Fuck off, Cohen,” Noah heard Hudson say.

  “What’s up?” Cohen asked, ignoring Hudson.

  “Can you come down? I have to know how to control this.”

  “You mean the little glitter problem you’ve got going on?”

  “Yeah,” Noah said, rubbing his face. He didn’t think he was glittering, but he wasn’t going to argue semantics. “Yeah.”

  “You want a drink?”

  “Do we have any more scotch?”

  Noah heard Cohen moving bottles around. “Just found a nice bottle of Glenfiddich.”

  “Good. See you in a few.”

  Cohen arrived a few minutes later with the bottle and a couple of glasses. They sat down in the overstuffed chairs in the sitting area.

  Noah studied his friend. Today’s T-shirt simply said The Faces. Cohen loved old rock n’ roll. He wore baggy jeans and his hair was its usual unkempt mess.

  After pouring, Cohen sat back and smiled, his eyes glowing fluorescent purple. “So, Noah’s got himself a female. ‘Bout time, my friend. You have no idea what you’ve been missing.”

  Noah smiled. “Look. I li
ke her. I like spending time with her, but I’m not willing to go to that place where I lose my SR44 form. I’m not going to fall in love with her. I need to be able to finish my job here. You’ve been with human women. Tell me what to do so I’m not glowing and shit. So I don’t lose it.”

  Cohen nodded and became serious. He looked around the room as if he were putting his words together, finally focusing on the far wall. “Do you remember what it was like joining with your lovren?” he asked softly, not meeting Noah’s eyes.

  “Vaguely,” Noah said quietly. “It’s like a distant dream.”

  Cohen nodded again, keeping his eyes on Noah. Cohen didn’t get serious often, but his face told Noah he was going to now. “I don’t know about you, but when I joined with my lovren, it wasn’t just a joining of bodies, but of minds. That’s where the difference lies. You can be with human women, and it is really amazing, let me tell you. But you need to hold something of yourself back. Does that make sense? You can’t give your whole self over to the experience. You can’t let your feelings get in the way, Noah.”

  Noah thought about it a moment while his sipped his scotch. His memory reached for his experiences with his lovren, and he remembered something of what Cohen described. It had been an experience where they gave themselves over to each other, both with their body and mind. Basically, in a nutshell, he couldn’t fall in love with Abby. He could do that, couldn’t he? He felt his cock jolt with a resounding yes, ready to head back on the road to Reno and Abby.

  “Okay, I think I get it.”

  “So who is she?” Cohen asked. “Where did you meet her?”

  Noah sighed. “She’s a reporter. She called me, I met her.”

  Noah almost laughed at the surprised look on Cohen’s face. “Are you fucking around with me?”

  Noah shook his head.

  Cohen burst out laughing. “Well, I didn’t see that one coming. A reporter. Good thing human women can’t see the glow when we get cranked up. We’d be reading about your sparkly ass on the front page of the paper.” He shook his head and took another slug of scotch.

  “I know. She wants to ask me all these questions about my line of work for some feature story. I keep putting her off.” He shook his head. “I do like her though.” He thought about arguing the semantics between glowing and sparkling, as Cohen had put it, but decided against it. His body did something that wasn’t normal to humans. So glowing, sparkling, shooting rockets out of his ass, it just didn’t matter what you called it.

  Cohen nodded and narrowed his eyes. “Just remember, you have to keep some of yourself back when you finally have sex with her, and you’ll be fine. Don’t fall in love, man, or you’re through. You’ll be an old man in no time. It’s just sex. Body to body. Nothing else is involved.”

  Noah nodded again, thinking how if he did turn human, he would be old in about forty or fifty years. To his kind, it was such a small sliver of time it was almost infinitesimal. To humans, it was a lifetime.

  Cohen got up to leave. “I’m heading out tonight. Maybe get myself a little action, do a little walking around, see if anything strange pops up.”

  Noah nodded and stood as well. “Thanks, man.”

  Cohen offered his fist, and Noah bumped. “Anytime, man. Let me know how it goes.” He walked to the door, turned, and smiled. “I feel like I’m a dad getting ready to send his son off into the big, bad world to lose his virginity.”

  Noah rolled his eyes, but there was truth in Cohen’s words. He looked over at Cohen, who had gone serious again.

  “Don’t lose it, Noah. You’re too important in this fucking mess we were sent here to clean up. We can’t do it without you, man. We need you so we can get home as soon as possible.”

  Noah watched the door close. He plopped back in the overstuffed chair and sighed. He sat for a few minutes, looking at the floor, thinking about Abby. He wished he could have stayed with her, but he knew it was impossible. He would only be able to see Abby in the daylight hours since his eyes glowed orange after dark. Unless he got himself some of Talin’s totally uncomfortable contacts that hid the glowing eyes. Maybe he would look into that.

  He allowed himself a small fantasy of Abby accepting that he wasn’t wholly human and they could be together. He could spend the night with her, and maybe he would talk to the guys about bringing her back here. He shook his head, putting a stop to that one. The idea was a lame horse that couldn’t get out of the starting gate.

  He got up and went to the computer to check his e-mail. A couple of crime scene photos from his contacts back East. He didn’t see anything that warranted sending anyone out there. A couple of spam. The last e-mail was from a sheriff in Carson City, Nevada. It was a crime scene photo of a woman they’d found this morning in her apartment with her throat slashed. The cut was thin, but deadly accurate. She had been found in her bed, no obvious signs of forced entry, no fingerprints. It was as if everything in the bedroom had been wiped down.

  He looked at the rest of the photos, hoping to see something that would indicate if it was worth checking out or not. The last photo was taken from the bedroom out to the living room and kitchen area. He studied it carefully, and then he saw what he was looking for: a soft glow of black ash on the cabinet in the kitchen. It was so faint, it looked like a small shadow or a slight cabinet discoloration. Any human wouldn’t see it. Only Noah and the other Warriors could see the ash the killers of his kind left behind.

  He smiled, reached for his phone, his gut humming with excitement. “Hey, Hudson, what do you have planned for tomorrow?”

  “Gonna try a new recipe, but that’s about it.”

  “I got us a lead on one of ours. Fucker killed a woman in Carson City,” Noah said. “We’ll leave at eight. I’ll call now and get us access to the crime scene. Maybe we’ll get lucky on this one.”

  He studied the photo some more, then looked again at the death photos. He shook his head, guilt washing through him. The female had been in her mid-thirties. He clicked back over to his e-mail again and scrolled through the unread messages. There were many. Perhaps if he hadn’t been so taken with Abby, he would have found something to prevent this woman’s death.

  And there it was. His excitement drained, replaced by dread. An e-mail from two days ago from a sheriff in a small town called Elko, Nevada. The man had sent Noah pictures of a murder scene there. Another woman, dead, but she hadn’t been found right away. Noah studied them, and from what he could tell, the cuts were the same, and there were also traces of ash.

  “Motherfucker,” he whispered under his breath.

  He had missed an opportunity to gather more information on the Colonist who liked to slash throats in a neat way all because he had been so caught up in Abby, and another woman had lost her life because of it.

  He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. He thought about everything for a long time, and then the warrior in him won out. He needed to focus; he simply couldn’t afford the distractions of Abby. He had lost many lives, but never because he had been focusing on something else. This time, his lack of concentration had caused a death, and maybe even more.

  His phone rang, and he picked it up and looked at the small screen. It was Abby. He shut his eyes and thought about her soft skin, her beautiful taste, her smile that lit him up from the inside. It was too much. He needed to step away from her. Hell, he needed to run like hell so she didn’t distract him from the work he needed to do.

  “Hey, Abby,” he said.

  “Hi,” she said, her voice a warm wave that rolled over him.

  He took a deep breath. He hated himself and his life more than ever. “Abby, I can’t see you tomorrow.”

  There was a beat of silence. “Oh. Okay. Maybe—“

  He cut her off. “Abby, it’s a really bad time for me. Work wise. I-I just don’t think we can see each other again. Not for a while, anyway. I-I really need to focus.”

  There was a long silence on the other end, and he shut his eyes.

  �
�Okay, Noah. I’ll just talk to you when I talk to you.”

  The line went dead.

  His heart hurt at her icy tone, and he totally understood why she was upset. After what they had shared that afternoon, he could see her thinking that things would be going somewhere.

  But they simply couldn’t.

  He needed to focus all of his concentration on finishing his job. He sighed heavily and went back to looking over the photos and all the missed e-mails on the computer screen.

  Part Two

  Chapter 18

  Six Weeks Later

  Abby stared at herself in the mirror and wondered how she had gotten talked into attending the Mayor’s Ball.

  Oh, that was right. It was called trying to save her job.

  Go her.

  Ever since she had been told that her job was safe, she had been saddled with extra duties at work, and she had taken them on without a word. This included going to the Mayor’s Ball.

  From what she’d understood, the ball consisted of the upper echelon of Reno’s businessmen and women and politicians who basically spent a few hours kissing each other’s butts, putting together business deals on the side, and trying to skid the palms of those who could help with business. Maybe a building inspection hadn’t gone as well as it should have? Slap the head of the building inspectors with a little cash and watch the report go through.

  An invitation had been sent to her boss, but he couldn’t attend due to his wife having a biopsy. He called her in and told her that she was to represent the paper. She started to give reasons why she couldn’t go, but he gave her a look that said she better find a way to go. She simply couldn’t afford to lose her job right now, but she had put out her résumé in the hopes of getting hired somewhere else. Maybe it was time to move on, anyway. She had never been to the East Coast, so maybe spending some time there would be a good thing.