Light Within Me

by Fall, Carly

  Talin stood up, his eyes narrowing, and put himself in front of Hudson. Noah could see where this was going. Talin wanted to find out why Hudson’s boxers were in such a snit. And, as far as Talin was concerned, he had been called a lot of things, but calling him stupid was unacceptable.

  “Why do you care, Hudson? What is that female to you?” he asked with deadly quiet. “We can all see that Noah over there is in love with her. Hell, a couple of us even have a bet on how long it takes before he loses his SR44 form. Maybe we have a little lover’s triangle going on here? You liking Abby, too? Feeling a little territorial over her?”

  Hudson glared at Talin as they stood chest to chest. His jaw twitched while his fist clenched and relaxed again and again, getting ready to throw down. “Back off my grill, my friend,” Hudson said. Noah would confidently bet his own left nut that things were about to get physical.

  “No,” Talin whispered.

  Within seconds, Hudson had Talin up against the wall, his heavy arm across Talin’s upper chest. “Don’t fuck with me on this one, Talin,” he hissed, obviously fighting to keep himself in line and not beat Talin to a bloody pulp.

  There was a brief moment of silence, and then Talin flashed a sarcastic grin and said, “I think you got some wood in your pants over that female.”

  Oh yeah. Things were about to get physical and ugly. Noah had no doubt that someone was going to end up with a bloodstain on their shirt. And God help everyone if it was Hudson. He hated blood on his silk shirts, and he would be bitching about it for weeks.

  “All right! Enough!” Noah said loudly. But no one was listening.

  Hudson hauled back and hit Talin square in the mouth. “Don’t you ever fucking talk about my daughter that way!” he screamed as Talin began to bleed.

  Chapter 42

  A couple of things happened at once. First, the room went silent, and Noah felt an incredible relief wash through him in finding out that Abby did not have one drop of Colonist DNA in her. And then there was a little gasp that could be heard outside the door.

  Noah closed his eyes. Shit. Abby. She must have heard Hudson’s confession. He stepped out the door and held out his hand to her. She was pale, her eyes wide. She took his hand hesitantly and let him lead her in.

  Everyone had their eyes on her. “I . . . I’m sorry. I wasn’t eavesdropping. I swear. I was in the kitchen, and I heard yelling. I wanted to make sure everything was okay . . .” She looked over to Hudson. Noah watched as the male’s eyes slowly turned bright yellow as he stared at Abby. Noah looked down at Abby, whose eyes were as wide as the stretch of silence in the room, watching all their eyes change to the colors of their SR44 forms.

  “Oh my God,” she whispered.

  Noah didn’t know what to do. He guessed the best thing would be to get her out of there. He put his arm around her shoulder. “C’mon. Let’s get you back downstairs.”

  She looked up at him and shook her head. He watched her face harden, and she straighten her spine as if she were preparing for verbal warfare.

  “No. I’m staying right here until I get some answers.” Then she looked directly back at Hudson. She motioned toward the table. “Shall we?”

  Chapter 43

  Abby saw that this wasn’t going to be a private conversation. The men all took their seats around the table, their eyes glowing brightly. Once again, she didn’t find herself afraid, but now she knew why.

  Her whole life finally seemed to make sense. Why she felt as if she never fit in, that she was different from everyone she met. Not to mention, the unexplainable connection she felt with Noah from the first time she’d laid eyes on him.

  It was because she wasn’t fully human. She was some type of hybrid human-alien creature. And somehow, that rang okay with her.

  She couldn’t believe all the puzzle pieces of her life were finally falling into place. It was a relief, it was exciting, and it was nerve-wracking.

  When Noah had left her downstairs, she had planned to hang out until he called her. But then she had gotten really, really hungry. She hadn’t eaten since that morning and decided that she could sneak upstairs without anyone knowing and get something to calm her raging hunger.

  When she was in the kitchen, she had heard the muffled voices from the War Room. As they got louder, she became more concerned. She didn’t know what she could do to make things calmer, but she found herself inching down the hall to listen. She had gotten within earshot when Talin told Hudson that everyone knew Noah was in love with her, and well . . . as they say, the rest is history.

  She turned to Hudson, who looked over at her. Sadness seemed to be ripping him open from the inside.

  “I loved your mother. She owned my soul,” Hudson said.

  Abby was surprised at that. She had thought that maybe it had been a one-night stand gone bad. “She’d told me you died before I was born,” she said quietly.

  Hudson nodded, staring off into space for a moment as if he were gathering his thoughts. The room was deadly silent, all eyes upon him.

  And then he began.

  He had met Abby’s mother, Iris, in the grocery store of all places. He had been working the Sacramento area, as there had been a string of murders that the Six Saviors thought could be attributed to a Colonist. He had almost run her over as he darted down the aisle looking for basil and cumin. He remembered he was making spaghetti that night.

  When Iris had looked up at him, he felt his heart skip a beat. Her large, brown eyes chastised him for his reckless cart maneuvering. When he apologized profusely, she smiled, and he was done. He couldn’t let her walk away.

  So he didn’t.

  He asked her to dinner right there on the spot, and after a few moments of small talk, she hesitantly agreed.

  Two months later, he realized his SR44 tendencies were coming out and he had fallen in love quickly, and hard. He was ready to give up his SR44 form and live as a human. He had never been happier in his life and realized that he would never be leaving Earth. That was okay though, because he had found a woman with big, brown eyes and long, wavy, auburn hair who captured his soul. He had nothing or no one waiting for him back on SR44, and he was content with the knowledge that he would never return there.

  “You look a lot like her,” he said with a sad smile.

  He decided he would tell Iris what he was, and pray to any and every god that she accepted him and allowed him to remain in her life.

  Before he could do that, she told him she was pregnant.

  He had been thrilled. He was in love, and he would be a father.

  But that love didn’t flow both ways.

  Iris told him that she didn’t see the relationship going anywhere, and she had thought long and hard about the pregnancy. She decided to raise the child. Alone.

  He had argued and begged, and then eventually demanded that he be a part of the child’s life. Iris refused and told him that if he insisted, she would disappear without a trace and he would never see his child again. She said if he loved her, he would respect her wishes.

  So he had watched from afar, the pain crippling him each time he laid eyes on Abby and Iris.

  When Iris had been murdered, Hudson was devastated. He wanted to approach Abby and tell her that he was her father, but then she got swooped up in the system. He had no legal ground to stand on, as his name wasn’t on her birth certificate, and Iris had told Abby he had died before the birth. He felt it was better not to rock Abby’s fragile boat and remain in the shadows of the unknown, keeping a watchful eye.

  And he had.

  “I watched you graduate from high school. That day you wore a blue dress with your hair in braid down your back. I was so proud of you. That night you got piss-ass drunk at your friend Lynn’s house and tried to drive home. I was the one who let the air out of two of your tires so you had to stay there.”

  Abby couldn’t remember what she’d worn for her graduation, but she did remember the party, the epic hangover the next day, and that her tires had
been flat.

  “I was there at your college graduation. You wore a green dress that looked absolutely beautiful on you. That night you went out with a couple of people, but you went home early.”

  He was right on that one as well. She had tried so hard to fit in, but never really did.

  “I didn’t particularly like that Tim guy you dated a couple months ago, and frankly I was happy when you broke up with him.” She heard a low rumble coming from Noah that sounded very much like a growl, which she chose to ignore.

  She had to smile. Hudson sounded so much like she thought a father would.

  “Imagine my surprise when we literally ran into you at the Mayor’s Ball,” he said, bathing her in the warm, yellow light of his eyes. “I couldn’t believe it. Of course, I recognized you right away. Then when I saw Noah getting protective of you, I knew that Noah liked you. A lot. You were the female who made him miserable for so long. The one who made it so difficult to live with him.”

  Abby’s cheeks warmed. Hudson looked at the black marble table. “But I also know that Noah is sometimes too hardheaded and stubborn for his own good. Sometimes his priorities get a little fucked up. That’s why I acted the way I did. It wasn’t sexual. I wanted to tell you so badly who I was, but I bit my tongue. You had gone so long without knowing me, I didn’t want to upset you more than you already were.” There was a beat of silence, and he met her eyes.

  “I can honestly say that night was the best of my existence. I got to talk to you, to hold you.”

  He motioned over to Noah, shaking his head. “Like I said, it wasn’t anything sexual. I was just trying to get this dumbass pissed off so he would realize his feelings for you.”

  Hudson sighed and looked down at the table again, his face hardening. “And then when I heard that you had almost been taken from this Earth by a Colonist . . .” He closed his eyes, as if he was trying to block out the feelings of the incident. After a moment, he took a deep breath and looked at her again.

  “I wanted things to be so different, Abby. But I did love your mother, so I did what she wanted. I figured watching you from afar was better than never seeing you again.”

  Abby stared at Hudson. She could see the sadness and regret written all over his face. He was telling the truth.

  Abby couldn’t believe her mother had hidden the fact that she pushed Abby’s father away. She tried to imagine what her life would have been like if she had known her father, but she couldn’t picture it. The fact was that yes, growing up, she pined to know her father. However, she couldn’t miss something she never had. She missed the idea of having a father. Perhaps she felt a little cheated, but there wasn’t any anger. Her mother had done what she thought was right.

  Even though it went on the south side of wrong.

  She wasn’t going to get upset over a mistake that occurred so long ago. She had almost lost her life, and in that time she realized that life was too short to get caught up in the past, in the wrongs that may or may not have been done. Parents did what they thought best in order to do what was right for their children. They tried to imagine the consequences of their decisions for the child, but in reality, they had no idea what the future held.

  In the case of Abby’s mother, she couldn’t have foreseen that Abby would have such a hard time in life, battling bouts of depression, never feeling like she belonged anywhere or with any group of people.

  Abby was going to concentrate on what was happening and what she had now. She could choose to embrace it, or she could choose to hold on to old mistakes made by others.

  She looked at the huge man in front of her with the black hair and the white silk shirt. She looked at his fingers, which were long and graceful, like hers. She watched his mannerism while he talked, like the way he tilted his head and bounced his foot. She looked nothing like him, but she could see their mannerisms were the same. Besides, she was sitting at the table with him now, and they could move forward from here.

  Hudson cleared his throat. “I know you don’t need a father now, Abby, but maybe we could be friends? Or something? Anything?”

  Abby felt her eyes well. She nodded and looked down at the table to try to hide the tears.

  Everyone was silent for a moment, the tension making the large room feel claustrophobic.

  Finally, Cohen cleared his throat. “Well, looks like we have some celebrating to do.”

  There were grunts of agreement from the others, but a quick look around the table let Abby know there was a big question hanging in the air. Did anyone really feel like celebrating? Did she feel like celebrating?

  She stood up and went to Hudson, who got up from his chair and faced her.

  “Thank you for telling me,” she said quietly, knowing all eyes were on them.

  He nodded.

  She stepped into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She felt him hesitate for a moment, then his huge arms engulfed her.

  It felt good. It felt right.

  She squeezed harder, and he did the same. She then felt him kiss the top of her head.

  “I never thought I would have you in my life, my doha, my daughter,” he whispered. “Yet, here you are. Right now, there isn’t a happier male in this universe.”

  She pulled away, and Hudson held her hands. “Do you want to celebrate? Do you want to be alone?” He paused, uncertainty writing itself on his face. Hesitantly, he asked, “Has anything happened in this day worth celebrating?”

  She smiled up at him.

  Yes, there was much worth celebrating. She had been badly hurt, but thanks to Cohen, she was well. She’d found out she had a father, and she liked him. She was able to forgive the past sins of her mother, and she felt really good about that. She heard through the grapevine that Noah loved her, but she wasn’t going to take that one as truth unless she heard it from his lips.

  “Yes. A lot has happened to be thankful for,” she murmured, squeezing his hand.

  Hudson nodded and smiled back. Without taking his eyes off her, he said in a loud voice, “Make it happen, gentlemen. We are celebrating my beautiful doha, my daughter.”

  The room erupted into cheers, and the Warriors patted Hudson on the back and gave quick hugs to Abby. They all moved to the room with the pool table, and someone turned on the stereo. The Rolling Stones began to scream throughout the room.

  Noah came to her with a glass of white wine and smiled. “I’m happy for you,” he said in her ear.

  Abby felt a chill vibrate down her spine. Just a whisper in her ear from Noah made her body ache. But she wasn’t going there. He had made it very clear that he could not, and would not, give himself fully to her. He wouldn’t give up his SR44 form and become human. As far as Talin and Hudson saying he cared about her? That he loved her? She had no doubt that he did care for her. Deeply.

  However, she wasn’t willing to have a relationship with someone she loved, who couldn’t and wouldn’t love her back. She couldn’t be with someone knowing that they were withholding a part of themselves.

  She had fallen in love with Noah, but she wasn’t going to go there unless she could have all of him, and she wouldn’t ask for that. She couldn’t ask him to give up a part of himself that was so important to who he was and what he did.

  But wanting a relationship with her father posed another problem: He would always be tied to Noah. Perhaps she and Hudson could work out an arrangement that when all of this was over, they could meet away from Noah so that her heart didn’t have to break over and over again at seeing him. That would definitely be something to discuss at a later time.

  She smiled and stepped away from him.

  She saw Rayner getting a pool cue, and she grabbed one as well.

  “You up for a game, lady?” Rayner said, smiling smugly.

  “You bet,” she said, ready to wipe the grin off his face with a couple of nicely placed shots.

  Chapter 44

  Noah watched as Abby ceremoniously kicked every one of the Warriors’ asses at pool. All did th
eir best to be gracious, and most tried to keep the cursing to a bare minimum, which was hard for the group. Noah appreciated their efforts, but he was certain that none of them would want to play with her again without a hell of a lot more practice.

  At some point in the evening, Hudson sided up to him, but didn’t say anything. After a while of silence, as they watched Abby put the final nail in Cohen’s ego, Noah said, “I’m glad it’s you.”

  Hudson didn’t meet his eyes, just nodded. “Don’t fuck this up for you, or for her, Noah. If my little girl’s heart gets broken, I promise you I will do the same to every bone in your body.”

  Noah looked over at Hudson, who was smiling, but Noah could feel the undercurrent of the very real threat.

  “If she will have me, I would make her my lovren,” Noah said under his breath so the others couldn’t hear. But first, he had to clear the air with Abby. He had to tell her how he felt, and what he was ready to give up to be with her. He was ready to commit his full heart and soul to her. He was ready to give up his SR44 form and live as a full human. With Abby, of course.

  Hudson was silent for a moment, then nodded. “If she will have you, I’ll give my blessing. Of course, there will be a traditional ceremony.”

  Noah watched Abby give Cohen a high five as she then wiped the table with Jovan’s ass. If it had been a sword fight, the warrior would be a bloody and battered mess. Noah watched her toss her auburn hair over her shoulder as she bent down to line up the pool cue for her shot. He loved the way her brow furrowed as she concentrated, and the way that lovely pink tongue poked through her lips as she focused on her shot. He watched the pool cue slide through her delicate hands with grace, and the room lit up when she smiled after she made a perfect shot.