Light Within Me

by Fall, Carly

  She rode the elevator up the full length of the silo, landing on the kitchen floor. She walked in, the aroma of coffee making its way into her senses.

  As she poured, she heard voices down the hall. Déjà vu, anyone? She remembered the last time she had been in the kitchen and heard voices down the hall, getting louder as they were now.

  She vowed she would stay in place. Her feet would not move, because regardless of her curiosity or concern as to what was happening down the hall, none of it was her damn business.

  Or was it?

  The last time she made her way down the hall toward the loud voices, it had definitely been about her. All about her. She had found out that she did indeed have a father, a man whom she liked and looked forward to building a relationship with.

  She knew she was being silly, and chided herself for being so narcissistic that she thought they could possibly talking about her. Like they didn’t have anything else important to discuss. Like Colonists killing people and stuff like that.

  “Abby will not be involved in this!” she heard Noah roar. She almost spilled her coffee.

  Okay, so it did involve her. She took a deep breath, steadied her coffee cup, and headed down the hall. This time she didn’t try to hide her footsteps; she didn’t try to sneak up on them. She walked directly down the hall to the War Room and stood just outside the doorway, leaning against the wall.

  She could see the goings-on in the room reflecting off the glass panes. Talin and Noah were almost chest-to-chest in a heated debate.

  “We could end this now,” Talin said. “We could have another one gone, and even if you don’t want to go home, some of us do. It isn’t fair, Noah. We can make sure she’s safe, that the fucker doesn’t lay a hand on her. We can do this. It’s like baiting a rat trap with cheese. He will come; we will snap his neck.”

  She watched as Noah shook his head. “I love that female,” he said through gritted teeth. “I will not put her in any type of danger. I don’t know what I need to do to get that through your pigheaded skull. It’s not happening, Talin.”

  She wondered what type of danger he didn’t want her to get into.

  “You know as well as I do that if that Colonist isn’t stopped he will hunt her down until the day he dies and kill her. We have another body on our hands this morning, same M.O. Neat slit to the throat. He’s escalating. We have the ability to trap him, stop him, and put a fucking bullet in his heart and end it. And no one further gets hurt.”

  “Except the possibility of my future lovren,” Noah growled. “I won’t put her at any risk. Listen to my fucking words, Talin. I’m not speaking Russian or anything. Simple English. You should be able to understand me just fine.”

  Talin stood his ground. “What’s she going to do? Stay here in the silo for the rest of her life? Are you going to move her across the country, keep her stowed away in another fucking silo? You’re basically imprisoning her, Noah.”

  Silence.

  “You don’t understand,” Noah said, as he backed away from Talin. “Last night when we were together, she glowed like one of us. She was beautiful and magnificent. Somehow, she kept my SR44 form from leaving my body. She is one of us. If anything happened to her, it would destroy me.”

  “Are you shitting me? You were with her and you didn’t lose your SR44 form?”

  Noah shook his head. “I don’t know what happened, Talin. I know that I love her more than my life. I know that I . . . that I experienced incredible pleasure. Somehow, she kept my SR44 form from leaving.”

  “I’ve never heard of such a thing,” Talin muttered, staring at the floor, obviously trying to come up with a reasonable explanation. After a moment, he said, “So you . . . orgasmed?”

  Noah smiled and nodded.

  Talin was silent for a moment, studying Noah. “Which is all the more reason for her to do it, Noah. She’s special. You can’t keep her here forever. She’s going to want to go out in the world. James will hunt her down. If something happened then, how would you feel? Don’t hold a sword over her neck for the rest of her life when we could end her hunter’s life in a mere matter of minutes. We’ll be there, Noah. Nothing will happen to her.”

  There was a long stream of quiet, violent curses from Noah while Abby soaked in what she had heard.

  She didn’t like the thought of being stuck anywhere, even if she was in love with Noah. She valued her freedom and didn’t like the idea of being trapped. But putting herself up as bait?

  She thought of her mother who had been killed by James. James had begun his march of death on her life when she was so young, so needy of her mother.

  She leaned against the wall, listening to the final curses of Noah, and then a silence as he paced across the room. She heard the crunch of leather as Talin sat down and sighed. She imagined him leaning back in the chair, his hands on top of his head, gazing up at the ceiling.

  Oddly, she was terribly calm as she considered the possibilities.

  She didn’t want to be hunted for the rest of her life. She imagined never being able to go to Reno to lose herself in the mall, or going to see a movie without looking over her shoulder. She couldn’t, or wouldn’t, live her life trapped in the silo, or any silo, regardless of where it was and how nice it was furnished.

  She couldn’t see it.

  She also had the opportunity to avenge her mother’s death. Regardless if her mother lied to her about her father, she loved her mother, and her death had put her life on a path she never would have chosen for herself. Even though the path had led her to Noah and Hudson, she had had a lot of difficult years.

  So, score two for being the bait to kill the Colonist.

  And then there was her own life.

  What would happen between her and Noah would remain to be seen. She hoped they would stay together, that the words of love they said last night held true. She hoped the bond they formed through their time together was strong enough, and grew stronger.

  She took another sip of coffee and made her decision.

  Here fishy, fishy . . . here’s your worm.

  She pushed herself off the wall and turned the corner. She met Noah’s eyes, and then Talin’s.

  “I’m in,” she said, taking a gulp of coffee.

  Noah let out another string of curses, and Talin smiled briefly, then nodded.

  She braced herself for the lecture and tirade she was sure to get from Noah, but her mind had been made up.

  He would just have to deal.

  Chapter 47

  Abby sat quietly in the War Room as she listened to Noah explain why putting her up for bait was such a bad idea. He had been talking for about ten minutes straight.

  “You could be killed, Abby,” he said softly, his face a mask of worry. He stood on the other side of the table, his hand planted firmly on the marble. “I couldn’t deal with that. Please.”

  She nodded at Noah, and calmly told him that she appreciated his concern, but she was moving forward with the plan.

  “I love you, Noah, but I’m not going to live my life having to look over my shoulder at every turn.”

  Noah pushed off the table and began pacing again as Talin watched the exchange between them. After a moment, he came over to her and got on his knees, taking her hands in his. “Please, Abby. Please. Don’t do this.”

  She met his black eyes and was surprised to see stark fear in them. She sighed. “Talin, can you please give us a moment.”

  Without a word, Talin got up and left the room.

  “Noah, please listen. I know you don’t want me to do this, and I understand why. But this is something that I need to do. That asshole killed my mother, Noah. He sent my life into a spiral that I was lucky to come out of. Now he’s gunning for me. And what about him escalating? We can prevent more killings by me doing this.”

  He didn’t say anything, but defeat washed over his face.

  “Besides, I’m counting on you to make sure that nothing happens to me. I would hope we could come up with
some type of plan where you would be by my side.”

  Noah nodded, and stared at their hands intertwined for a few moments. He took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. You win. We’ll come up with something. I’ll make sure you aren’t hurt.”

  “Noah, look at me.” When he did, she said, “It’s not about winning. It’s about doing what’s right. It’s about putting an end to a lot of death.”

  He got to his feet and pulled her close. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held him. “You’re so brave,” he whispered. “I just can’t lose you. It . . . it would destroy me.”

  She nodded. “I don’t want to die either, Noah. I feel like I have finally found my place in life, a true recognition of who I am. I need more time with you, and I’m counting on you and the other Warriors to make sure that happens.”

  “Okay.” He kissed the top of her head. “Do you know what I want to do?”

  “What?”

  “I want to get some food, go back to the room, and eat. And then I want to kiss you from the tip of your nose down to your pretty pink toes, and a lot of everything in-between.”

  She smiled and blushed. “Sounds perfect.”

  “But later I want you to go see Cohen. Just to make sure everything’s okay.”

  She nodded.

  “And after that we’ll sit down with the other Warriors and come up with a plan.”

  He put his big arm around her shoulder, hugging her tightly to his side as they walked to the kitchen. No one else was around.

  “I’m not much of a cook, Abby,” he said with a smile. “We leave that up to Hudson. So what’s it going to be? Fruit Loops or Rice Krispies?”

  Chapter 48

  Noah watched as Abby paced the floor of what he hoped would become “their” quarters. He had quit answering her theoretical questions a while back, finally understanding that she was simply venting and only got more annoyed when he spoke. She had endured a rough day, so he found himself content to sit, listen, and remain silent as she let off steam.

  And it seemed she had a lot to let off.

  After their stellar breakfast of Fruit Loops and another mind-blowing session of entangled bodies, he had insisted she visit Cohen. After some embarrassing and halting conversation of what had happened the past night, as well as this morning, Cohen did his thing, scanned her body, and declared her healthy. The “I told you so” look he received from Abby was one for the photo album.

  He had then mentioned that she needed to break the news that she was going to participate in the capture of a Colonist to Hudson. She winced, but agreed.

  That had gone over like dog shit served at a picnic.

  Noah watched Hudson pace and curse in the War Room as he had done a few hours prior, and really felt for the guy. He wouldn’t want his daughter putting herself in that situation either.

  Kind of like offering up a virgin to a volcano.

  He admired Abby as she calmly listened to Hudson’s ranting, ravings, and pleas, but she stuck firmly with her decision. She comforted him when needed, met him head-on, and made it very clear she wasn’t to be swayed.

  Noah could tell Hudson was pissed, but he knew when the male relented.

  “You may look like your mother, but you definitely take after me as far as being pigheaded.”

  Abby had smiled at that, then stood to wrap her arms around Hudson’s neck. She kissed his cheek, and Noah watched the anger drain out of the male.

  “Just be there to help protect me, okay Hudson?”

  Hudson closed his eyes and dropped his head to his daughter’s shoulder, a sign of defeat in the battle, but the inhale that brought his head upright signaled a strong ally in the war.

  “Of course, my doha. I will not let anything happen to you. Even if this is the most—”

  “Shhhhhh, Hudson. That’s all I need to know. That you’ll be with me along with my future lovren. With you two, I know I’ll be safe.”

  Hudson’s eyes met Noah’s over Abby’s shoulder, and a silent agreement was reached.

  They would protect the woman they both loved, and die for her if necessary.

  And this seemed highly irritating to her.

  “Honestly, Noah, I don’t know if I can live like this. You—all of you—are such testosterone-driven, domineering, overbearing . . .”

  She lost her bluster, sat on the edge of the bed, and put her head in her hands. She let out a long sigh.

  “I’m tired of needing to stand up for myself,” she said. She met his eyes. “Noah, if this is going to work between us, I can’t have you being so overbearing and protective, okay? Because right now I’m having visions of trying to go shopping in Reno and you sending Rayner to tail me. Fully armed.”

  He smiled, wishing he could say that he would never do such a thing, but she had him pegged.

  He tried to put himself in her position, and he didn’t like it there. He understood her wanting and needing to live her own life, to make her own decisions, to go out and about without an armed escort, but he also had a fierce need to protect her. To make sure she came home at the end of the day, to him.

  “I’m sorry, Abby,” he said. He stood up from his chair and went to sit next to her on the bed. “This is dangerous stuff. I don’t want to see you get hurt. Neither does Hudson. None of us do. But you’ve made up your mind, and we’re going to do everything to protect you. Most of us don’t like your decision, but we’ll make sure you’re safe.”

  Abby’s brown eyes searched his face, and she finally nodded. “Okay.” He bent his head to kiss her. After a moment, she pulled him down on the bed with her.

  “I wonder if I’m ever going to get enough of you,” she said as she pulled his T-shirt over his head.

  “Sweet Jesus, I fucking hope not,” he said, rolling on top of her, pressing his mouth to hers.

  Chapter 49

  The next morning, they all met in the War Room to come up with a plan on how they would use Abby to catch the Colonist, and what would be the safest method.

  Noah found it difficult to swallow the French toast Hudson had prepared as he listened to the ideas being thrown around. He couldn’t believe he was letting Abby put herself in danger. One look at Hudson, and he knew the male was a little green around the gills at the idea as well.

  Cohen and Rayner had done a little recon the previous day. They were hoping the planets would align and they would find the Colonist sitting in a lawn chair on Abby’s front yard waiting for her to come back.

  The planets weren’t aligned.

  They did, however, note the comings and goings of Abby’s neighbors, and recognized that all the apartments were empty during the day for about four to five hours.

  “The day you saw the ash, why did you come home?” Rayner asked.

  Abby explained that she went home for lunch almost daily.

  “That’s why he attacked you then,” Talin said, studying the ceiling. He leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head. “He had watched you, noticed your patterns. He attacked in the daytime, because there wouldn’t be anyone around to hear you scream.”

  Abby cringed and felt her coffee making its way up from her stomach.

  “A little fucking tact would be nice, Talin,” Hudson muttered. Talin looked around the table and met Abby’s eyes as if he were surprised he had said the words out loud. “Of course. I’m so sorry, Abby. You can beat me with a pool cue later, okay?”

  She understood Talin was trying to make light of the situation, but it wasn’t working. This planning reminded her just how close to death she was a few days ago. If she hadn’t been on the phone with Noah when she went into her apartment that day, she had no doubt she would be very dead.

  But she couldn’t let Noah or Hudson, or any of them for that matter, see how scared she really was.

  She smiled at Talin. “Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep, Talin. You can’t imagine the damage I can do with a pool cue.”

  The Warriors laughed, and all was right again in their worl
d.

  After two hours, the plan was in place, and everyone agreed it was probably the best plan they could come up with, although no one was really comfortable with the idea of putting Abby up as bait. Even Talin and Rayner, who’d come up with the initial concept of using Abby, seemed a little nervous and unsure.

  “Look,” Abby said, meeting each Warriors’ eyes, “I need you to be confident in this plan. We need to work together and stop James. I’m willing to put my neck out there. You guys need to be sure it doesn’t hit the chopping block.”

  There were grunts of agreement, and everyone began talking at once, giving their assurances and making promises that nothing would happen to her.

  “Okay,” she said, smiling. Two days ago, she had been a pariah in the house. Today they were pledging to keep her alive, regardless of what it took. She thought of the few short years she had had with her mom, and then, like that, she had no one as she made her way through the state system. Now, here she was with someone she loved, her father, and what seemed like four overprotective brothers. Big brothers.

  She finally had the family she had always wanted, even if they were a bunch of overbearing, domineering thugs.

  Chapter 50

  Everything was in place. Everyone was ready. Everyone was nervous, although no one was going to admit it.

  Abby drove with Noah to Reno in the early morning hours. Exhaustion drained her, but adrenaline made it impossible to close her eyes.

  As she watched the desert landscape fly by, she thought of the previous night. She hadn’t slept much, and neither had Noah. She had tossed and turned, thinking about what she had signed up for.

  Really. What the hell was she thinking? Why was she putting her life on the line?

  It really all came down to what she saw as protecting her own future, she reminded herself. She certainly didn’t want to look over her shoulder forever, always wondering if the next time she ventured out would be her last.