Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?

by Fujino Omori

  “Why are you here?! I told you to run away, far away! Now luring it away was meaningless…!!”

  The goddess’s clothes are soaked with sweat. She must have run all around Daidaros Street looking for me.

  Either she predicted that I would follow the ariadne, or she followed the eyes of the onlookers and the howls of the silverback to find me.

  Why did she come back?! All of my emotions are mixed, turning my voice inside out as I speak.

  “… You really have no clue, do you?”

  That’s what she says to me.

  She wipes her dirty face with her arm and gives me a nice smile.

  “I can’t just run away and leave you behind, now can I?”

  “…!”

  “You want to protect me? Right back at you.”

  She doesn’t stop there. She silently mouths the words:

  “You made a promise, right?”

  “—Ah.”

  I remember.

  A promise that I should never have forgotten.

  I made her a promise on that day. I swore to her.

  —“Please don’t leave me alone.”—

  I broke my promise when I gave up.

  I was about to leave her on her own.

  “… But, like this, both of us will…”

  My face may have relaxed, but those words nearly tear me apart.

  Sensing that I can’t finish that sentence, the goddess puts on a strong face and says in an equally strong voice, “It’s too early to give up, Bell.”

  “Eh?”

  “I have an idea.”

  She reaches into the back of her robe and pulls out a small case.

  She beams a triumphant smile when I look at the case. She starts to open it.

  “Ah!”

  “Huh?”

  She freezes with her hand over the lid.

  She looks up behind me, her mouth half open.

  I follow her eyes to the top of the stairwell. A wild silhouette is diving right for us!

  We lock eyes for a moment, our faces instantly pale.

  “GYAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

  “AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!”

  I grab what I can of her and jump.

  The silverback lands hard, turning the spot we’d just inhabited into a crater. The goddess and I run as fast as we can down the last part of the stairwell.

  She overtook me? When did the goddess get this fast?

  Did she just say she wanted to protect me?!?

  “Kyaaaa!!”

  “G-GODDESS!!!”

  The goddess yells as she trips over a stone in the road.

  Time slows. Her hands are straight up, falling forward. I burst forward to catch her before she crashes to the ground. The silverback is right behind us.

  “Sorry to be rude, Goddess!”

  “Wahh?”

  No time for complaints.

  I hold her in my arms, completely violating all manners. My arms are wrapped under her shoulders and knees as I pick up speed.

  I’m carrying her like the heroes carried the princesses in those stories. Her face is bright red against my chest.

  “Sorry, Bell. I know this is hardly the time, but I’m sooooo happy right now!”

  “What the heck are you saying, Goddess?!?!”

  We’re inches from death and she’s happy?!? I don’t understand at all.

  I keep running. I have to ignore my confusion to survive this incident. The goddess swings her arms around my neck, and I tighten my grip on her. I summon every ounce of energy I have left to keep running. It helps that the goddess’s body is unbelievably light. I make my way through the labyrinth at a full sprint and somehow manage to pull away from the monster.

  But.

  Luck abandons us at the last moment.

  “A… dead end…”

  Three tall houses surround us, the long road having ended in a cul-de-sac. There is only one road in here, and there’s no point turning back. The monster has us cornered.

  I set the goddess down before taking a quick look around. Several of the residents are looking down at us. They quickly hide when they notice I can see them.

  Monsters are scary. I know that they aren’t helping us because they’ll get dragged into this situation and possibly eaten. I don’t blame them for hiding.

  After all that running, we can’t get away.

  The goddess scratches her chin, like she’s thinking of something. I drop my head in despair.

  “… No, this is good.”

  “EH?!”

  She only whispered those words, but I do a double take when they reach my ears.

  She looks up at me with a confident smile, diminutive stature and all.

  “Bell, you will slay that monster.”

  “… uh?!”

  “I will update your status right now. You will use up that power to take it down.”

  Sure, she could update my status, and I would stand a better chance in a fight than before.

  However… it won’t be enough.

  The silverback is a lower-eleventh monster. I only just got out of the sixth alive. That’s five floors’ difference. An adventurer’s strength can be measured by the number of floors they’ve conquered. By the same token, a monster’s strength can be measured by the floor on which they are born. The difference in floor is the difference in power. Even if I got a little stronger from a status update, I obviously still have a long way to go to be on par with the silverback.

  I wouldn’t measure up in a fight. And on top of that…

  “… I can’t, Goddess. You saw it, too, right? I can’t scratch that monster. Even if I got a little stronger, I wouldn’t be able to land a killing blow on the silverback.”

  The problem is with my basic attack strength.

  When I put all of the Strength of my current status into what was supposed to be a killing blow before coming into Daidaros Street, it was blocked by the silverback’s fur.

  Even with a stronger status backing up the weapon in my hand, I don’t think it can penetrate the beast’s defense.

  “I… can’t slay it.”

  My head falls as I mutter those words. I’m so pathetic.

  All of those abusive things that animal guy said. All the other customers trying not to laugh and failing. I can see everything in my head so clearly, and all of it is telling me just how weak I am.

  I can’t hurt the silverback, let alone slay it. I just can’t.

  To top it all off, I have no confidence whatsoever.

  “What if your attacks get stronger?”

  “—Eh?”

  “Could you slay it if you could do damage?”

  She asks before opening the case in her hands. She removes the contents and holds it out for me.

  A black knife encased in a black sheath rests in her palm.

  I slowly reach out to take the weapon from her. I stand there almost in shock as I take the blade from its protective cover. The handle and sheath are black; the blade is no exception.

  The black knife doesn’t curve like a claw. It’s straight as an arrow.

  Plus, a series of complicated markings decorates the edges.

  It starts glowing a deep purple in my hand, almost as if the “god knife” is responding to my touch.

  I stand there, admiring the weapon and its beauty. It feels sacred, as if it was created by the gods themselves.

  I look back up at the goddess. Her crystal-clear eyes meet mine.

  “Bell, what happened to the boy I know? Didn’t you go deep into the Dungeon looking to pick up girls just a few days ago? What happened to the Bell who swore to get stronger, to never give up on his dreams? Where did he go?”

  The goddess pulls her shoulders back and keeps talking like we were back at home.

  “I believe in you. I realize I’m not part of that ‘adventure.’ I know that. If adventurer Bell Cranell is really after a monster of a woman, Wallensomething or other, then a monster like this shouldn’t be a problem.”

&nb
sp; Her face is dead serious.

  “I’ll help you win. I’ll make you win.”

  “……”

  “You might not believe in yourself right now. How about believing in me? And I believe you can do this.”

  I feel like I’m about to burst into tears. The tip of my nose is numb. Waterfalls might be building up in my eyes.

  She’s smiling back at me. I wipe the tears from my eyes with my sleeve and nod a “Yes” in reply.

  The sun was brightly shining overhead.

  The large ring of light in the sky cast many deep shadows over the roads of Daidaros Street and the many races of inhabitants living there.

  The sun’s rays were particularly strong on a long, dead-end road.

  Faster, faster, faster! Hurry!

  Hestia’s fingers were a blur as she muttered under her breath.

  She sat behind a kneeling Bell, working furiously to update his status.

  Bell had removed his badly damaged light armor, leaving behind only a black undershirt. Hestia placed a drop of her blood onto the back of his shirt; one layer of fabric was not thick enough to keep her from writing hieroglyphs into his skin. Her hands did not slow down.

  It was unnecessary to follow them with her eyes. All she had to do was find the excelia within him and draw it out to change his status. As long as she could locate his excelia, one inner shirt wasn’t going to get in the way.

  Listen up, Hestia, this is important.

  Hesita’s nerves were on ice. The monster could come at any moment. Hephaistos’s voice ran though her head.

  This knife has your hieroglyphs, your blessing. This weapon is alive.

  The “Hestia Knife” was forged from Hephaistos’s mythril and engraved with Hestia’s blessing. It was a blade with its own status.

  There were so many hieroglyphs on it that the entire weapon turned black.

  It is the same as a child who received Falna. The weapon will grow stronger using the wielder’s excelia along with him.

  The knife was engraved with Hestia’s hieroglyphs—only someone with her blessing could wield it. This made it unsalable and useless as a weapon. Hephaistos told her one more thing:

  If the wielder gets stronger, so will it. As an adventurer gets stronger, he will unlock more and more of this blade’s potential.

  It was the perfect “high-quality blade for newbie adventurers.”

  An ever-growing partner, it would never be too strong or too weak for its user.

  Right now, this weapon is about as powerful as tissue paper. However, it will take its first breath when it reaches the boy Bell Cranell’s hands and grow from there.

  If the blade’s user stayed weak, so would it.

  But if the user became the “most powerful” adventurer, it would become the “most powerful” weapon.

  A weapon that can instantly become the best is bad for business. It’ll put us smiths out of a job. I won’t be making another one of these, ever.

  She might have complained throughout the entire process, but Hephaistos had made her wish into reality. Hestia thanked her many times over.

  Now, the “Hestia Knife” was growing alongside Bell.

  She was making it into a weapon that could slay the silverback.

  The only problem is…

  Bell’s skill, Realis Phrase. How much would he grow, and how much stronger would the weapon become?

  “Goddess! It’s here!”

  “!”

  It rounded the corner of the long road, spotting them immediately. Hestia’s heartbeat shot through the roof.

  At the same time, she finished the last stroke. Bell’s status update was complete.

  Bell Cranell

  Level One

  Strength: G-221 → E-403 Defense: H-101 → H-199

  Utility: G-232 → E-412 Agility: F-313 → D-521 Magic: I-0

  …?!?

  Bell’s status had grown over 600 points?!

  His growth knew no bounds. And he was still getting stronger. This was anything but a normal growth speed.

  The flames of jealously toward Aiz burned in Hestia’s heart, but she also felt reassured.

  With this much…

  The weapon had become very potent.

  The black blade was pulsing dark purple light in his hand. It was alive and well.

  It’s all up to Bell now!

  She put her hand on his back and put all of her strength into a big push to give a boost.

  “Now, go!”

  “Now, go!”

  With those words, Bell’s perception of time and space narrowed to a very thin line.

  His heart beat in his ears. His feet were enveloped in heat. But his head was clearer than it had ever been.

  He had crouched down while Hestia updated his status. His body was ready to take off at a full sprint.

  Power filled his legs, right knee up and ready to blast off.

  “GYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!”

  The monster stood directly in front of him at the end of the road. Its enraged howl echoed down the long street.

  Silverback. The monster that, even with his updated status, was Bell’s worst nightmare.

  Victory was a long shot. Bell himself wondered if he really had a chance.

  However, even if he didn’t believe in himself, he could put his faith in Hestia’s words.

  He sprang forward, his goddess’s words filling him with determination and courage.

  “—”

  The silverback fell silent.

  Bell had never moved this fast.

  Six hundred status points had given him speed like nothing before. Despite the distance still separating them, the silverback knew at that moment it wasn’t fast enough to defend against a killing blow.

  Are you listening, Bell? Remember what I’m about to say. Don’t do anything reckless, though. Understood?

  Eina’s voice ran through Bell’s head as he cut through the air toward his target.

  No matter how strong, no matter how thick their defense, monsters all have a common weak spot.

  Bell still remembered Eina vigorously explaining the basics to him, pointing at him.

  If you hit it, even a dragon will fall. It’s their one true vulnerable spot.

  He remembered, very clearly, Eina’s voice telling him what to do next.

  One strike. If you can pierce their skin with just one strike, any monster can be slain by an adventurer’s blade.

  The place that made a monster a monster, their one and only “core.”

  I don’t need to say any more, right? Yes, the one thing all monsters have hidden in their chest—

  Their magic stone. Cutting it was the most effective way to slay any monster.

  Bell saw his target, a point on the monster’s chest.

  The beast charged forward, feet pounding the street. The silverback’s arms lightly shook in the air. Bell used what time was left to line up his strike, his eyes focused on that one spot.

  The “Hestia Knife” blazed purple in his grip. Its newfound strength gathered into the tip of the blade and sent a beam of light into the heavens.

  All the power gathered in the blade, all of the strength in his body, every last drop of energy went into this thrust.

  Muscles tore and bones cracked as Bell’s dagger pierced the monster’s chest, his body sticking out like a spear.

  “YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  Penetration.

  “Gyaaa!!!”

  The black blade struck the monster’s chest head-on.

  Bell felt the dagger hit something harder than flesh or bone. It sent a wave up his arm.

  The silverback’s eyes went wide as it started to fall backward.

  “—?!”

  Bell’s momentum carried him up and over the monster. He let go of the knife and went flying.

  He couldn’t slow down. Bell didn’t have time to prepare for a hard landing. He had focused everything he had into one attack to finish it off. However, his bod
y reacted on its own. He flew in a perfect arch, curling up into a human bullet.

  He was on the ground before he had time to take another breath.

  “Guhheee?”

  He hit the ground rolling, finally coming to a stop after seven somersaults.

  Getting up, starry eyed and dizzy, Bell took a few deep breaths before turning around.

  The silverback was on its back, arms and legs sprawled out in the middle of the road. A piece of the monster’s body started to collapse, the black blade standing straight up out of its chest. Time was standing still.

  The magic stone at the monster’s core was shattered. More and more of its body collapsed in on itself before turning into ash. It flickered for a moment before being carried off by the breeze, leaving no trace behind.

  Click click. The “Hestia Knife” hit the stone road as the last of the beast disappeared. The weapon lay in the middle of the street, glowing purple.

  Cheers erupted from all around him.

  Bell’s battle with the silverback had moved the residents of Daidaros Street who had watched it from a safe distance. People who had hidden in the shadows and behind windows now came out of the woodwork in droves, clapping and cheering at the top of their lungs. Even the stadium hadn’t been as alive with glee as this corner of the labyrinth town.

  A smile appeared on Bell’s face in the middle of all the applause.

  He looked back to the end of the road to grin at the goddess, to say, “I did it!” That’s when he saw her body collapsed on the ground.

  “Goddess?!?”

  Bell grabbed the “Hestia Knife” before running to her aid, his face pale and breaking out in a cold sweat.

  Her light body was limp in his arm, her eyes closed. Bell’s face turned yet another shade of white. Bell gently picked her up and ran out of the alleyway to a glorious send-off of cheers.

  “I hurt Hestia… but what’s done is done.”

  Came a voice from the roof of a house overlooking the dead-end road.

  Freya was talking to herself. She had been watching Bell from the best “seat” on Daidaros Street.

  Her silver eyes locked onto Bell as he held Hestia tightly against his chest.

  At first, she was disappointed that things hadn’t gone as planned. But she smiled up at the blue sky.

  “Congratulations. You still have a long way to go, but… Hee-hee, yes. You were very heroic.”